A colleague who is not familiar with me to chat, chatting about the content of the boredom to the extreme, the net talk about him and his The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that.
This is the first time I've ever seen a woman in the world who has been in the same situation.
After he spoke for half a day, he looked at me, meaning that he said so much, I should always make a statement.
A moment, really do not know what to say, off the mouth actually asked a: "Your girlfriend is a woman, right?" ......
The exam teacher issued a paper, the back of the girl took more than one, shouting: "Teacher, I have, I have!" The boy sitting next to him said, "It's mine, it's mine!" ......
Once, I went to buy breakfast, queuing up to find that the usually unsmiling boss is also in line, so very nervous, after greeting, said to the cook: "Master trouble to come to a cup of buns, two tits!" ...... first time in two years to hear the boss laugh so loud.
The political teacher once lectured and said: "I give an analogy below", then felt wrong, and said: "Make an example"
My classmate explained to me how to call a certain query. I wanted to ask if the person answering the phone was a real person or a voice, but I said, "Is the person answering the phone a live person or a dead person?"
In my junior year of college, my classmate went to work at a fish mall. The customer took the selected fish, my classmate very gently pointed to the fish killing table and said to him, "You go over there, someone will kill you." ......
The other day, I wanted to drink a soda, so I rushed a few steps towards the cold drink stand and said, "I want to drink a soda, but I didn't expect to see a beer in front of me, so I said, "Boss, I want to drink a bottle of fart water." .........
MM told me that KFC's new "Bone and Flesh", want me to take her to eat, the days of Beijing's immense heat, I was drowsy, to the restaurant, I smiled at the KFC lady to come to the sentence: "I'll have two of the 'Flesh and Blood', please!" ......
A cultural evening, the host came on stage to report: the following please enjoy: Xinjiang song and dance, lift your skull! The hair and bone creepy!
The tiger does not send a cat, you think I am sick ah!
When I was in high school, the classroom discipline was chaotic, and the teacher grabbed XXX in anger and said: XXX, you give me to stand on the wall! The whole class is very cold!
I: "That's our physics teacher ......"
Classmates: "Teach what ah?"
I: "Chemistry ......"
A man in our dormitory drank too much to go to pee and then brought out a cold saying: "Drinking too much pee, the wine will be special."
When I was in school, a phone call came to me one day, and my classmate handed it to me and said, "Your mom is looking for you."
I took the phone on the one hand and then blurted out: "male female"
Everyone laughed wildly. I was laughed at for 4 years ......
The high school classmate of my classmate (a boy) walked into the noodle shop and coolly tossed his hair: "Boss, two two onions, not rice noodles!" The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Boss: "...... Do you want rice noodles or scallions?"
Once the dormitory classmate's mother called, I used to say "he is not in", but this time I want to say is "has gone out". The result is: "He has ...... not in ......"
There is another, junior high school when we use the electric bell to play the bell, once just after class, the electric bell is ringing, the teacher is still in, suddenly a The teacher was still there, suddenly a boy who slept in class suddenly popped up from his seat, while still flailing and yelling: "Mom! Get up and make dinner! It's time for me to go to class!" ......
My coworker was arguing with someone, and in a hurry, he opened his mouth and said, "You think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he ate to grow up.
On the computer class, a student machine problems, so shouted: "Boss, change the machine!" The whole class was dumbfounded.
And my sister went to Li Ning to buy shoes, my sister opened: "Miss, how much is a catty of this shoe?"
偶高中，放学和偶 MM一起回家，校门看到一卖烧烤的，MM说要吃牛杂，因为烤架前人比较多，偶怕老板听不见，于是偶大声喊道："Boss, 5 strings of bullwhips！"。 Then a silence, three seconds after everyone together burst out laughing. The most embarrassing thing is that MM then asked me, "What is a bullwhip?" I had to answer MM in a very, very low voice, "A bullwhip is a bull's tail."
Previously, when I was a guest at my aunt's house, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on this, but I'm sure you're going to be able to get a good deal on this. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do this, but I'm sure you're going to be able to do it. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, I'll go to the bathroom and pour you some tea."
During the university military training, the instructor yelled, "Use your side light (afterglow) to align!" One of my classmates then whispered to me, "Only his bladder grows on his face."
We have a car to take us to work in the morning, because the car is not big, once, a mm on the car without a seat, sitting next to me, a male colleague busy stand up, warmly greeted her and said: "so-and-so, you sit on my butt!" I was laughing until I got off the bus!
A physical education student on the internship class, many teachers listen to the class, he was too nervous, and finally to dismiss the team, a moment of blankness, hard to hold back a sentence: "All attention, stand at attention! The first time I've seen this, I've seen it, and I've seen it, and I've seen it.
The three most popular words during the Iraq War: peacepeace, warwar, found, read these three English words together out loud three times, you will unveil a major historical mystery. (The fart was mine)
A friend's kid was half a year old, called to show concern, and after a few pleasantries came, "Is your kid on human milk or yours now?" ......
In the cafeteria to buy food, saw the long desired tofu skin, an excited and waiter said: "to a potato skin!" ...... put the surrounding people are stunned.
Really good donkey as a heart lung ......
Last time I went to McDonald's, said to the salesman: "Come to a bag of potato chips!" I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to get out of it. I said, "What kind of store ah ...... don't even have potato chips?!" Said turned around and left ......
Politics class talked about Sino-Japanese political issues, pulling a pull talking about the Japanese samurai disemboweled himself. The teacher introduced, "Japanese samurai before they died all Cesarean section!" ......
Once looking for a customer surnamed Wang called, the switchboard to answer the phone is a very sweet sounding MM, she told me his extension number, I do not know I want to find this surnamed Wang is a man or a woman, I asked in passing: "May I ask if he is a male gentleman or a female gentleman? " ......
University period, a classmate of mine just bought a cell phone, do the mobile card, call 1860 artificial desk to ask, a moment of excitement: "Please ask your ground moving band business ...... "From the speakerphone, we actually heard the operator lady politely said:" Our ground moving band business ...... "The whole dormitory burst into laughter!
Yesterday, a man said he wanted to introduce me to a girlfriend, I was going to ask "beautiful", the result said: "cheap?". I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal. Sweat yourself to death ......
Boss, the old man took the plane, the old man airsickness, non-stop vomiting. A bag full of vomit, the boss had to go to get the bag, and when he came back, found that the whole plane people are constantly vomiting. The boss asked why, the second said: "I saw this bag also vomit full, had to drink in half a bag, the result they all vomit."
A man sees a store having a sale and walks in. "What are you buying?" "I'd like to buy dog food." "We have a rule that you have to prove you have a dog." "Where is there such a rule?" "That's the way it is with reduced-price items." The man rubbed shoulders with the salesman, who still wouldn't agree to sell it to him. Having no choice, the man had to go home and bring his dog before he could buy the dog food. After a few days, the man went back to this store to buy cat food. "Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have a rule that you must prove you have cats." It was the same salesgirl, and the man dawdled with her again, but ended up having to go home and bring his cat before he could buy the cat food. A few days later, the man came to the store holding a large cardboard box with a hole dug in it and approached the salesgirl. "What are you buying?" "You'll know if you stick your hand in." The salesman stuck his hand in, "What is it, sticky." "I'd like to buy two rolls of hand towels."
Some people like the dish "Spicy Vermicelli Casserole" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" he asked, disappointed. He asked, disappointed. "Sir, it's really sold out. You see, the last serving was sold to the gentleman at that table." The waiter replied. The man followed the waiter's pointing and saw a very decent gentleman sitting at the neighboring table. The gentleman had already eaten almost all of his meal, but the "Spicy Vermicelli Casserole" was still full. The man felt that the gentleman was wasting his food, so he walked up to the gentleman, pointed to the "Spicy Vermicelli Casserole" and asked politely, "Sir, do you want more?" The gentleman shook his head in a dignified manner. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and gobbled it up. The wind rolled up, a moment half down, suddenly he realized that in the bottom of the casserole lying a very small very small but the fur has grown all the little mouse. With a wave of nausea, the man spat all the vermicelli he had eaten back into the casserole. While he was there turning his stomach, the gentleman looked at him with a very sympathetic look and said, "It's disgusting isn't it? I was the same way just now."
The owner asked, "If you die, what are you going to put on your epitaph?" Here are some of the cowboys' outrageous replies:
Thanks to the government for solving my housing problem!
One-bedroom apartment, asking for a share, negotiable.
Small things beckon, big things dig graves.
I think I can still be salvaged!
I was buried alive! Day!
Ad space for rent.
Provide whipping service, once 100!
First from the literature, three years did not win; after the practice of martial arts, the school field issued a vector, in the drum official, expelled from; then learn medicine, some success. I have written my own prescription, and I have served it, and I have died.
Gene reorganization, please wait ...... twenty years ......
I was born in China, I was buried in China, woe is me!
When you read this line: friend, you stepped on me.
Finally, I don't have to be afraid of ghosts!
Smile for the master, or ...... master give you a smile?
This is the last hole I'll dig (warning to diggers)!
Touching bones and telling fortunes ......
Accompanimentary chat, offering nightly home services.
Latest Sanlu milk powder advertising slogan:
1, drink Sanlu brand milk powder, when the Paralympic champion
2, Sanlu milk powder, Sanju Chemical Group honorary product
3, drink Sanlu, urine diamonds. The general public I do not tell him
4, Sanlu milk powder, stepmother's choice
5, drink Sanlu every day, straight to the Yellow Springs Road
6, milk, I chose Sanlu, Sanlu milk - China's men's soccer team designated special milk
7, Sanlu milk powder to drink after the hey, the waist does not hurt, the legs are not sore, even the heart is also a good idea. I don't think I'm going to be able to do that.