How to Eliminate Startup Anxiety
In the process of starting a business, we often have anxiety. The following how to eliminate startup anxiety is what I bring to you, I hope it will help you.
Step 1: Understand Your Relationship with Fear
Important to say beforehand: in order to shift your relationship with fear and anxiety, you need to define what it is you're dealing with.Cordaro says: ? Fear is a primal emotion, a stress response to ensure our survival and safety, such as the fear that arises when dodging a speeding car. Anxiety, on the other hand, occurs because we envision a future threat based on our imagination or try to avoid a painful past experience based on a pipe dream. Fear usually lasts for a few seconds, whereas anxiety tends to be chronic and can last for days or even months.?
To illustrate what anxiety is, Milano gives a favorite quote from Mark Twain:
"I'm an old man, and I've known a lot of trouble, but most of that trouble never happened."
As entrepreneurs, every day we are faced with uncertainty and risk, and it's natural to have anxiety once something is unknown. Some common anxious thoughts include: ? What if the money runs out What if the product launch fails, will I get fired from the board? In Milano's experience, his clients have chronic anxiety even when they've been very successful, such as? Where will the next big thing come from? Or? How can I continue to justify this huge market capitalization?
The key point here is that when people say they're experiencing fear, 99% of the time it's actually anxiety, anxiety about something that may never happen. This anxiety arises when our subconscious mind plays like a bad record all day long (singing the same song over and over again), and our brain's limbic system, especially the amygdala, which is responsible for responding to threats, becomes highly active. Once we look at the world in terms of threat, we have a narrow vision and limited possibilities.
Once we see only limited possibilities, Cordaro says, ? it dramatically impairs our ability to make decisions, and for entrepreneurs, the latter is one of our most important leadership assets. Whether you admit it or not, every decision we make is first filtered through an emotional filter, and fear is one of the most powerful emotional filters. Think about it: do you make different decisions when you're happy and joyful than when you're sad and desperate? Most of the time it is, so it's important to realize that emotional intelligence is a necessary quality for entrepreneurial leaders.?
Step 2: Discover the source of the anxiety
Once you realize that what you're experiencing is likely anxiety, the question becomes how to release that anxiety so you can do things with a stretch of self-awareness and creativity.
Milano suggests that the 1st step in uncovering the source of anxiety is to pay attention to attachments to particular outcomes and identities.? Anxiety is the fear of having more fear. It is spawned by attachment. It is rooted in our need to control what is going on around us, in order to ensure that the known stays safe. ?Milano suggests that founders with anxiety take a look at these questions:
Which expectation, idea, or outcome are you attached to? A particular investor? A particular customer? Or a particular type of product being made? Or cash flow positive in 6 months?
Which identity is driving the attachment? Have you created an image of yourself to investors, media, and your team that I'm the next disruptive entrepreneur?
Look at this example: a founder tells her investors that the company will be cash flow positive within 6 months. Then inevitably something gets in the way and it becomes clear that the goal is no longer achievable. It's easy to get stuck in a swamp of anxiety and assumptions that you can't get out of: will the board let me go? Will the team question my leadership?
On the other hand, if leaders can uncover what they are attached to, they can look at things in a more constructive way, says Milano. It's healthy to recognize that there is an attachment to a particular outcome, to ease the tension about it, and then use your creativity to design a new path based on reality. That way you can face reality and then honestly and with a clear head say to your team ? It doesn't look like the time will be 6 months, maybe 12. We know the situation, here's what we're going to do next.?
Trying to cut off attachment to identity can be harder, but it's critical to think about it. Many founders, whether for their own strategies or because of media attention, cloak themselves in ? the next big thing? s veneer. Suddenly, they aren't just developing a product and running a company, they have to live inside the public's expectations.? Once your product launches and doesn't do very well, that identity is going to be threatened. It's not just a matter of the product not working, people will accuse you of being a fraud, and everyone is afraid of being labeled as such.
This is one of the biggest fears of entrepreneurs: I'm selling this next big thing to all these friends and investors, and it didn't work out in the end. I'm a fraud.
Milano said: ? This shows the power of humility.? The most inspiring leaders know it's not up to them. They recognize that there will be challenges, they respect the competition, and they will be prepared for the ups and downs. Importantly, they communicate this to their teams and investors.? They say, ? It's not just about me. It's going to take us ****ing together to realize this beautiful mission. We're going to hit some bumps along the way, and it's important that we? ve got to navigate them together as a team and as a board.?
Cordaro added: ? It's ok to have a specific identity, it's important to understand that, it's totally natural and part of human nature. It's just that you have to realize that behind all those identities lie expectations of you, and those add up quickly. As a leader, it's much more enjoyable to make decisions from the perspective of what's best for the company and the community, as opposed to making decisions to preserve your personal identity.?
After helping clients identify their unconscious attachments and identities, Milano and Cordaro then dive into the three sources of fear, known as the ? The Three Cultures of Fear.?
The culture of lack: belief systems where resources (e.g., time, money, etc.) are inadequate.
The culture of revulsion: the belief system that says ? I'm not having the right experience?
A culture of resentment: a belief system that says, "My experience is not right? I shouldn't feel this way? (e.g., shame, guilt, etc.) belief systems.
Culture of worthlessness: beliefs that ? I can't do it, this is me? s belief system.
The culture of lack is more familiar to most entrepreneurs who work 16 hours a day, often barely enough or to make the next big thing happen. In terms of not having enough time, Cordaro says: ? It's interesting that Silicon Valley is one of the most well resourced places in the world in terms of financial resources, but one of the poorest places in the world in terms of time.?
But Milano and Cordaro argue that the culture of lack is actually a myth, rooted in unconscious . . social beliefs that can be changed through awareness and new habits. According to Cordaro, this practice is important because ? Once lack dominates, selfishness, hypercompetition, and creative stagnation also rule. Conversely, if abundance reigns, generosity, cooperation, and rapid change will also reign.?
In working with their clients, Milano and Cordaro enabled them to dig deeper into what they lacked by structuring their sessions to get them to write new, more powerful stories.
Rejecting a Culture of Resentment
Cordaro points out that it should never be the goal to eliminate fear, but rather to recognize and embrace it. Among all the entrepreneurs he's taught he's found the same pattern: first come up with a great idea, then work to bring it to life.? The process is exciting and fun. It's extremely driven by desire and creativity.? Then they start the concrete work of building the company, and that's when the anxiety sets in.? Something is getting in the way of my vision; I wanted the world to be this way, but something is holding me back. It's a natural part of this process for fear to emerge.?
By accepting this mindset, fear no longer seems like a threat; it's just part of the package.
In Milano and Cordaro's experience, the ensuing shift in mindset can have a profound effect on founders. Successful founders don't fall into this mindset when a product fails, when a new app only gets 2 stars in the app store, when funding doesn't pan out, ? It's bad experience. That's not how things are supposed to be.? Instead, they embrace these obstacles openly as part of the experience? which is the only attitude they can and should have. They use the experience as an opportunity for them to develop and become better, stronger, and more inspiring leaders.
Milano says: ? When products don't work, you need that feedback to create products that people really want.
Every time you're experiencing fear and anxiety, there's actually information and data to be uncovered.
Anxiety lets you know when you need to adapt, and Milano points out that the problem is that you're just anxious all day long about doing nothing. These emotions don't do much good if they become habitual. Habitual anxiety almost always triggers avoidance or resentment.
App only has 2 stars? Customers don't like it? Gotta change it.Milano says: ? People who have a healthy relationship with fear will say, ? It is what it is, I'll accept it, I'll embrace it, I'll take the message. What do I do creatively next to fix it?On the other hand, leaders who have an unhealthy relationship with fear tend to lose the opportunity for course correction and get caught up in what things? should? how it should have gone, and thus miss the helpful signals being sent that it is time to transform.
Additionally, avoiding the emotion of fear only serves to delay it, says Cordaro: ? All emotions are there to provide information about what's going on around us. That's why we evolved to be able to feel these emotions. Emotions are data, and they have helped us survive through tens of thousands of generations of evolution. If we don't listen to an emotion, we can't fully receive that data and it just keeps coming.? When you allow yourself to fully feel and receive an emotion, it dissipates quickly, often in as little as 30 to 90 seconds.
When you look at it that way, accepting fear is not only a good idea? It's also an important competitive advantage. Bad products or low-rated apps don't fix themselves. But by listening to your feelings and letting go, your problems can effectively be cut in half.Cordaro asks: ? As an entrepreneur, do you want to double every problem you have, or do you just want to deal with the things that need to be done?
Be a role model for your team: entrepreneurship is a roller coaster ride. Accept that and fix what we can. Then no crashes will happen.
Develop a strong sense of self-worth
The last culture of fear is the culture of worthlessness, says Milano: ? This one isn't just unique to entrepreneurship anymore, it's a human epidemic.? This belief system assumes ? It's not enough for me to go on like this, I have to do something extraordinary to self-actualize. This culture hit Milano hardest many years ago.
Whenever Milano asked his clients if they were trying to prove something to themselves, their families, or society by starting a company, the answer was often a resounding ? No?? Most people don't realize how powerful the culture of worthlessness is until they make a major mistake or? failure? I was certainly one of them.
One of the fastest ways to determine if there are things you need to improve in your sense of value, according to Milano, is to ask yourself the question: ? Would you still love and accept yourself if the company was a complete failure and you fell flat on your face?Cordaro and Milano tend to see each other holding their breath right away during their coaching sessions, even through the screen, says Milano.? It's a very powerful, very shocking experience.?
Milano says: ? It's a natural reaction to feel low self-worth when we're faced with shattered ideals and dreams. For him, it was the best gift left to him by his failure as a startup to solve food waste.
He said; ? This experience plunged me into a sense of failure and low self-worth, but I also learned another important life-and-death lesson; no amount of success or achievement can fill the self-worth gap. Neither does a mansion, a fancy car, or shiny media headlines provide true self-actualization. I now know what it feels like to be useful, to know what it's like to make pure joy, and that doesn't require using my company to prove my self-worth. In my opinion, this is one of the most important skill sets that entrepreneurs can go on to develop.?
With this experience in mind, Milano now guides clients to find their own unique experience of being the source of a worthless culture. He says: ? Maybe your parents didn't tell you that you were doing well enough, and you want to try to prove that you are worthy.? Sometimes this stems from a miserable experience in your career? For example, losing your CEO position is one of the main examples, and then you want to prove to yourself that you can be a good CEO.
From Cordaro's experience as a psychologist, doing this kind of self-questioning can be transformative for founders, he says. He says: ? One of the powerful things I've seen is that people develop a curiosity about who they are and why they do what they do. Such an attitude makes it possible for everyone to be the most impactful person possible in society.?
;