My home is in a very ordinary community on the outskirts of Beijing, which is not far from the city. The density of the community is not large, the trees are shaded, and it is very comfortable to live in.
However, after living for a long time, many problems have emerged. With the overall rise of catering industry and take-away food delivery, the number of surrounding restaurants has not increased, and many take-away food delivery cannot be delivered; A new residential building has sprung up around the community, and the surrounding road environment has become less eye-catching with various constructions.
So, my husband began to talk to me about changing rooms and moving to the city. We must find a place with food and drink around us and a good environment. This chanting is for several years.
Everyone has the right to look forward to a better and better living environment.
My current residence is 51 kilometers to and from my office, and I commute for at least two hours every day. I never seem to mind this matter. It's good to be closer, but think about your comfortably packed home, and ignore this commuting time on the road.
Jiang Xun wrote in an article: "When I first moved to Hekou, there was no Guandu Bridge. Go home from work, take a train, get off at Zhuwei, and there is a small ferry on the right bank from Xu CuO to Ba Li Zhang CuO. Every day, I take the ferry across the river to go home. The boatman paddles often, and there is a crane at the bow. "
There are trains and ferries on the road every day. Although the author understates it, it must be quite hard. It's just that Mr. Jiang used the time on this road to appreciate the scenery and find the beauty, so he didn't feel hard.
whether you are bitter or not, and whether you are satisfied with the present situation depends on whether there is something in your heart that can be balanced with it. It can be a real thing, such as home, or a feeling, such as the feeling of beauty on the way.
Mr. Wang's affection for his residence is not as high as his expectation of location and convenience. Naturally, he will not be "nostalgic" like me, but want to find a "new love" as soon as possible.
For a long time, I didn't understand his real way of thinking. Always criticizing him silently in my heart.
why can so many neighbors get along with the temporary mess caused by construction, but he can't?
why are so many neighbors happy to eat the home-cooked dishes in the community, but he can't?
why do so many neighbors love their homes, and they can live in a house for more than ten years, tidy up and lead a plain life, but he can't?
after thinking about it, I can only say that there is a steelyard in everyone's heart. There must be at least one thing in life that you cherish most and are willing to pay the price for. Some people choose stability, others choose constant change; Some people put their families first, while others put their careers first. Some people like rules, others pursue freedom like the wind.
When we want to criticize a person, it is nothing more than the values of two people. To put it simply, the things we care about are not unified and there is a conflict.
A person can have his own values, and he can silently "criticize" each other's affections and illogicalities, but no one can demand others with his own values. It is such a simple truth.
to change rooms, we should look at the price of a real estate, and the quality and overall grade of this community. Is it really that simple?
In the book Conflicts within Us, Karen Honey mentioned the word externalization, which means that a person perceives inner activities as occurring outside of himself and thinks that these external factors lead to his difficulties. Externalization will lead to a person's excessive dependence on the external environment. Such as living in a city or a suburb, eating this food or that food, belonging to this group or that group. These have been given too much importance.
In the process of viewing houses, agents will always tell you intentionally or unintentionally that some stars live in this community. The implication is that the star is directly proportional to the grade of the community. Seeing more houses, people may unconsciously construct an idealized self-I should belong to such a community, and living here is in line with my current identity. Of course, the second half of the sentence is completely unconscious, and many people won't even notice it themselves.
With such unconscious thoughts, the priority of the budget, room type, etc. that we had thought about before immediately decreased, and where to live became the most important factor. Because, others can judge your general social status by what kind of community you live in, and will not care whether you live in a small apartment or a top-floor king; Of course, no one cares whether you are selling iron in a pot or buying a house without affecting your normal life.
where to live is given too much importance.
which is the higher priority for us to buy a house, live in our own house or keep up appearances? Some people will say self-occupation, but, again, no matter how you choose, there is no right or wrong.
We can only learn to understand other people's way of thinking, learn to think in other people's shoes, and see what other people care more about. Do you have to point out naked, "You are so hypocritical, and buying a house is not for others to see".
The rule of interpersonal relationship is that you should never deliberately show that you are more rational and smarter than others. There is a saying that "if you win the truth, you lose your friends", and so do family members.
We all have unconscious behaviors ourselves. Should we thank our family and friends for not "debunking" and pointing out our problems from time to time?