Although Irvin Yalom is one of the most famous and influential psychotherapists in the world, his relationship with his mother is not so good.

In Owen's memory, his mother was vain, opinionated, nosy and unreasonable, which destroyed his relationship with his friends and interrupted his happy time with his father. Although they live with their mother day and night, they hate each other. So that when he was in his 51 s, he shouted to his mother in his sleep: "Mom, how did I behave?"

It was not until more than ten years after his mother died that he had a strange dream and found out the crux. In the dream, he talked a lot with his mother. As everyone knows, when Owen complained about his mother, her mother suffered a lot.

The dialogue in my dream lets Owen know that my mother has never been cared for by her son or thanked by her family, and she has been living in a world where no one is sure.

Owen didn't bother to say hello to his mother when she came home from the shop. He never asked her if she was working hard today. After decades of cooking by his mother, Owen never praised her once, and secretly laughed at her accent.

In this world, people, whether vulgar or noble, are somewhat eager to be affirmed by others.

Owen said to his mother, "Everyone in the world is basically lonely. Although it is cruel, it is a fact. We have to face it. Therefore, I hope to have my own thoughts and dreams, and you should have yours. "

The younger generation always lives for their dreams, while parents live for their children. Although we encourage parents to pursue their dreams and live the life they want, some parents dream that their children will live well! There is nothing wrong with this dream itself, but what puzzles parents is why their children are not very grateful for their heartfelt behavior.

the other day, I was chatting with my mother, and I blamed her for being too picky about herself. Maybe her tone was a little heavy. She looked very unhappy and said that she had done a lot for me, but I didn't understand her.

Then she told me something, for example, according to the custom, my mother needs to prepare several quilts when I get married, but according to my meaning, there is no need to follow these customs, which makes everyone very tired. However, my mother is persistent, not only planting cotton one year in advance, but also walking several kilometers to send cotton to the store, and then picking up the quilt on foot after the quilt is finished.

I asked why I had to walk. She said that she couldn't ride a bike and didn't want to bother others. She was reluctant to spend money on a taxi.

It is true that I am distressed by what my mother has done for me, but I prefer that she do nothing and rest at home. For the mother, she will never understand, and the latter will make her daughter happier.

So, how should the role of parents be played in children's lives?

When a child is a minor, parents are the child's financial source, spiritual pillar and growth mentor. They expect their parents to give them proper praise when they get their grades, and they need their parents' encouragement and comfort when they are depressed, as well as their guidance at the crossroads. The most annoying thing for children is that their parents have no communication, and the most tiring thing is that their parents make unnecessary "sacrifices."

If your child insists on choosing a direction that you don't approve of, as a parent, first explain the reasons why it is not desirable, and discuss with your child whether you can make another choice. If your child still insists, what parents need to do most is to provide appropriate help when the child encounters difficulties, so as to make this choice as correct as possible. After hard work, even if the result is not satisfactory, at least let the children gain experience and feelings in the process.

When children grow up, their parents' health is their greatest peace of mind, and their marriage and career are their greatest concerns.

both parents and children need to respect each other's ideas. If one party is too paranoid, it is the best way to communicate calmly.

In the following chapters, the author expresses his understanding of life and writes the meaning of his own life through several cases.