(Allegro) No boasting, no making noise. My family has been an official for three generations. My grandfather met the emperor, and my wife had dinner with the queen. My father is wearing a yellow jacket and my mother is wearing silk and satin. If you don't go out and take a soft sedan chair, you will have a maid to rub your back when you come back. The jade bowl at the eating end and the urinal are inlaid with colored blue. During the Spring Festival, five gentry and six gentry came to lick gifts. Since my father was dug underground, the local gentlemen have moved away. Changed people, changed faces, turned it over and calculated for us. My mother advised me to study. I don't like studying. This is just a prank. Teacher, turn over the desktop and pass on the school as a casual book. Some rich people plan their property and hook me up with money and cigarettes. At the beginning of life, human nature is good and similar, far from learning from each other.

It's great to drive downhill on wheels. In a few days, I will play mahjong, play a demo, roll dice, turn over old bowls, draw lots, see something, be a treasure official, smoke water, drink cigarettes, drill alleys, and soon learn a full set of 18 martial arts. The house is sold out today, and I want to sell my daughter-in-law's marriage. Now I, nobody cares, have nothing to eat, wear, cover, straw, maid, mansion, adults, ancestors, daughter-in-law, family, eat, drink, wear, cover, mom, dad, wife and children, and a polished rod. Suffering from crimes and sufferings abroad, I am still a virgin. Do you think it's dangerous? When I die, the whole set will be finished forever. (Sit down) Alas! Do you have a cramp in your leg ... (Read aloud)

Poor guy, I haven't seen whole wheat flour for three days. The second place and the first place are not as good as half a bowl of porridge, while Wu Kui of Wen Kui is half a catty. What's Mr. Yu's surname? What's your name? He is called a vagrant. Who lives in Luomian Lane Hutong, Heyang County? Two old people live among mules and horses, and their families are very rich. Since the expense of my two old people collapsed, I have put this rich family property on my toes like a comb! I kicked it completely, leaving nothing as big as a piece of toilet paper. In this state, I have no food at home, and my whole body is hungry and swollen. My nail polish is shiny, my nose is quite bulging, and my arms and legs are as thin as a cigarette rod. But I can't think about it. On second thought. I always study for a few days, but I still know a few words I can't help carrying it on my back, don't go to the plains, don't go into the mountains, and go to a remote place in the ditch to teach! We have to mix teaching.

(Singing): Sitting in the thatched cottage, I can't help thinking and sighing when I think of the pain in my parents' hearts. Up to now, hungry people can't do anything. I sang and taught here and went to the country.

(white) teach! Teach!

Huang: Hey, let's go!

(Singing) This year's crops are all surplus grain and stones, and they are often cooked for one thing. My family can't read ink for three generations, and it's even harder to be an official in my heart.

My old Huang Man Wang Fa. I have two illiterate sons. I wish I could invite a gentleman to study for him, and he can become a famous minister and inherit my cigarettes in the future. The gentleman I want to invite should teach well, earn less money, and I will do the eating and drinking. Such a suitable and cheap gentleman.

What's expensive: (calls in) teach, teach!

Huang: Take his family as an example. If there is a buyer, there is a seller. Let me call him, sir. Walk around.

What is expensive is that (inside) is coming! ㈠

Priscilla didn't have time to travel around the world. Confucius was deprived of food for seven days in Caibang. God bless me for eating a full bowl of rice, and Grandpa Yang offered an egg! (I can't hold back when I want to pour yellow)

Huang: Sir! What is your list?

What's expensive: it doesn't matter ... I just came temporarily or fainted.

Huang: Oh ... Mr. Keke, you are Nai's teacher.

What is expensive: professionals!

Huang: Specialized talents. Sir, I have two illiterate sons. I want you to be Eva's teacher.

What is expensive: alas! How lucky you are to touch me! If you meet a gentleman as soon as the market opens, you will take me away at once. Look, you can go there!

Huang: Hey, teacher, I think all teachers who teach abroad know a lot. Do you know all the arithmetic in Mandarin?

What's expensive: old man anuwo?

Huang: Hey! What is this? I don't understand!

What is expensive: this is a foreign word!

Huang: What, foreign words?

What's important: in foreign words, meaning and content are profound, omniscient and meticulous. Whether it's the Three Emperors and Five Emperors, the Xia, Shang and Zhou Dynasties, or da ji teenagers watching the Spring and Autumn Period, before and after the Tang Dynasty, Chinese fried rice and turned left and right. The Duke Guan of Song Dynasty appeared, defeated Genghis Khan, turned over the Four Books and Five Classics 86 times, learned the common sense of arithmetic and geography in Mandarin, and recited the Kangxi dictionary. Don't look at me. I'm sallow and skinny. Han Xin people are thin and have the ability to sit in their stomachs. (I want to go)

Huang: Oh, sir, let's talk about tuition first.

What's expensive: Oh, tuition, there's nothing to say outside! It's the same to give more or less!

Huang: (defiantly) My husband!

(Singing) The tuition fee is 200 yuan for a whole year, and the pen, ink, paper and inkstone are all in it. Help yourself to a large glass, Mr. Han. From then on, it has nothing to do with the owner.

What is expensive? This business is too soft. 360 days a year, earning 200 yuan by the end of the year. It is too difficult to raise chickens at the back door, to collect eggs with babies, to sell cow dung, and to keep warm on sunny slopes. Fortunately, I don't have a home, and I really can't spend 200 yuan. If I dress up my mother, I can't get powder, I can't get flowers, and I can't afford Beijing goods. I can't pull the three-foot red rope, and I can't even tie my hat. My hobbies may decrease. However, it depends on how you use the money. If these 200 wallets turn into spicy noodles, you will never use them up. It was so boring to go. If you don't go, you will be hungry. If you can't talk, let's have a meal first. Let's go to the museum!

Huang: Hey! Take your time, sir. Tuition is agreed. Let's talk openly about this meal.

What's expensive: rice! All right, all right! It's all the same as long as the food is good. Rice, unlike outside, some people give their husbands delicious food outside in order to teach their babies well. Ten miles of local conditions and customs are different. In some places, rice didn't come, except for four dishes and a platter, which were all accompanied by wine. Some places drink strong wine, some places drink red wine, some places drink rice, which is called city wine, and some places drink wine brewed from corn at the southern foot of Qinling Mountain, which is called rolling wine. Hey, boss, I don't know what to drink this time.

Huang: My husband! (Singing) I ate black bean porridge early in the morning and beat Luo fen into a ball at noon. If you didn't have a meal in Heilie, please help yourself. Eat two meals a day.

What's expensive: black bean porridge in the morning, black flour mixing at noon, black rice before dinner, three black, this is simply digging black carbon through the column. What about rice? What about wheat flour? Wheat flour can be made into wide noodles, fine noodles, noodles with dregs, steamed stuffed buns and meat rolls, sesame cakes with pot helmets, fried garlic and onions dipped in flour oil. How to make wheat flour is hard to say. Why did you bring Mr. Black Bean? Black-faced people can't starve, and teaching foreign students is no good. Alas! Don't eat enough black beans, go to the museum!

Huang: Don't be busy, don't be busy, sir. Just now, rice came into the market. Do you have any foreign dishes?

What's expensive: hey ... actually, if the food is poor, as long as the food is good, take the person with the surname "rice" into the "belly" city to find the person with the surname "intestine" and then go to Jingbo once. There are not many foreign dishes. Look at the walls of big hotels outside others. There are not many outside. Some places like to eat fish, some places like to eat chicken, some places like to eat sheep, and some places peel the cowhide, put it in an outer pot, grab a handful of salt and cook it. Outside in the south, you can eat worms. Some places love rot, some places love frying, ah, some places love turning bowls, ah, boss, do we like turning bowls or playing fried ladle in this place? Actually, not too much, just me.

Huang: Sir!

(Singing) Shepherd's purse is smashed and eaten in spring, and horse seeds are tender and fresh in summer. In autumn, red vines grow into bowls.

What is expensive: hey! What about winter?

Huang: (singing) The pulp of radish tassel nest is more sour than vinegar.

What's expensive: the shepherd's purse, horseradish, rattan and radish buds lost by ancestors are all fed to pigs! There are four seasons in this family: spring, summer, autumn and winter. Look at those four dishes first. Is it as good as a frying pan? Where are the fish? After cooking fried pork with a product of fried pork, you can't leave your stomach. Honey is pulled, fried meatballs are meat and eggs, lotus seeds are fried with meat, and the fat elbow oil is dipped in a bun, so the gourd chicken can swallow it without chewing. Without a big bowl of elbow, a medium bowl of sweet plate is better. Cough, cough, cough, the four houses will be hungry. Let's eat first, then go to the museum!

Huang: Wait, don't worry, sir. I think we should also talk about where we live.

What is expensive? What is there to talk about outside? Eat three meals a day and sleep at night? The quilt is hot and kang. There is no cloth quilt, it is a satin quilt. No hard bed, just a soft bed. Actually, I'm thin and my bed is still soft. Three satin quilts are enough, and I dare not have too many.

Huang: Hey! My husband!

(Singing) There is a saddle felt that is narrow and short. There is no mat or felt on the kang. I slept on a hot kang and picked it up without firewood, and there were no rotten bricks under my head.

What's expensive: my god! How about a quilt made of saddle felt? It's a small piece of skin under the saddle. It's narrow and short. If it's very narrow, I'll cover my chest with it and don't turn over. I can't cover both ends of the short column. I will cover the frozen column under it, cover the frozen column under it and use a black column to go up and down. How can it be till dawn? Besides, it's not a mud brick, but a semi-rotten brick. It is a cool thing that we meet this kind of cool brick. If you meet this cool brick, you will mix it with other people's dolls the next day! Alas! The joy of bending over the pillow is also among them. To the museum!

Huang: Sir, I told you there was no school!

What is expensive? Are you a smart man? You are still teaching in the field without a school. You can teach dogs to drive away rabbits in the wild.

Huang: Yes, there is a place far away.

What do you mean expensive, in the east gate? Outside the south gate, the house is still a yard. You say, you cut it.

Huang: Sir!

(Singing) There is Kannonji five miles away, with ditches, ridges and bends. It was raining, and it was inconvenient for God to walk, so he slipped and stained the clothes of primary school students.

What is expensive? Hey, boss, what did you just say? It was raining, and it wasn't anyone who threw your baby upside down. What do you mean?

Huang: It's a long way to go, but it's Xiu Yuan. You can hug it or you can hug it. In short, don't let our baby walk.

Guizai: We have a baby on our back and lost our ancestors, so we are pioneers in the White Dynasty. It's called teaching bud's teacher. When he sees me carrying a baby, people can take off his shoes and put them on my mouth. Oh, I borrowed a pole to hold his baby. Walking a mile counts as a mile, so I will exercise myself, trip and cry, trip and grab a handful of dough, and trip and die. I said yes, boss, yes, to the museum.

Huang: Don't be busy, sir.

What is expensive: alas! Do you have anything else?

Huang: Teacher, what do we want you to teach Eva?

What is expensive: why, read it to the baby!

Huang: I think all foreign officials can read it.

What's expensive: that's not necessarily true.

Huang: I want to ask, how many years can our two children be officials?

What's expensive? Being an official, alas, is hard to say. You see, some babies are very smart and sober, and their husbands give them prescriptions. Some babies are stupid and lazy, so there is no next series. Just say I haven't seen the second young master outside our house. Are they round eyebrows and eyes? Or a thief with eyebrows.

Huang: I'm Eva, sir.

What is expensive: going public! Where's Dada?

Huang: Look, our baby is under the tree, the boss is standing outside, and the second one is sitting and wiping his nose.

What's expensive: outside is our second young master, a good product.

(Singing) This gentleman's eyes are as big as two eggs, and his chin is not long and narrow. Cow's eye socket looks directly at people,

Huang: Sir!

(Singing) It will take him half a day to count the two money.

What is expensive? Don't be a freak People often say that your eyes are big and your heart is solid. You look like a stone. You want me to teach stones!

Yellow; Sir, if you look at our penises again, you will wake us up.

What is expensive: the potential of a good thief!

(Singing) Bangzi Nanbei Crane is not short. At the age of twelve, he still wears a drool curtain.

Huang: Hey, sir, my mouth watered when I was a child, but it stopped when I grew up.

What's expensive: No wonder my mouth watered when I was a child, but I stopped drooling when I grew up! (Singing) The variety of melons on the vine has not changed.

Huang: (singing) His mother is not pregnant with the problems in her womb.

Mr. (Bai), how many years do you think our two children can be officials?

What's expensive: two outside can be officials, and two outside can take bricks, so I said yes. Boss, don't look at us two children stupid. Just give me a good rub, and I will be an official in less than two years.

Huang: Oh, you can be an official in two years?

What's expensive: two years at most.

Huang: You have been an official for two years and have never seen it.

What is expensive: listen!

Out of Dongguan, I entered Xiguan. On my way back, I passed Jiayuguan, passed through the gate of hell, and met the judge at Chenghuang Temple.

Huang: Right, right, right. I think people who are officials outside are very fat. Hey, my good husband!

A good gentleman like you is rare in the world. You can eat blindly and earn less. Come and have dinner with me. I'll get you a shovel before the meal is ready.

What is expensive? Hey, boss, I didn't catch what you just said.

Huang: I said the meal is not ready yet. There's nothing wrong with you standing here. I'll get a milling machine, and you throw some milling soil into our circle.

What is expensive: there is nothing outside! Teach the band to do odd jobs and give more money!

Huang: What! Why do you want to add money? how much is it?

What is expensive: add 50, not a penny less.

Yellow; Add fifty! Oh, you teach 200 a year, plus 50 is 250 a year!

What is expensive: hey! This 250 is a curse. I scared him. Hey, boss, our deal is good.

Huang: Say yes!

What is expensive: you can't repent!

Huang: No repentance!

What's expensive: I can teach you books, but I can't read!

Huang: I don't care if you can read. Go there after dinner. The Russian is outside!

What is expensive? Why do you scold us again? This family does not seek a gentleman, but only lists it for saving feces. Alas, the disciples of saints are respected. It seems that this is an ape, like a human. No, it's an animal.

Huang: (thinking of moths) This guy came in and looked around with eyes full of pride. Look at his neck sticking out like a goose.

I hid my eyes and looked into my kitchen, where I steamed half a basket of black steamed buns and white steamed buns. If he took the white steamed bun and swallowed it, my heart would be like a knife, and I would be like eating a mud tiger, tossing and turning in my heart. It's not safe. What a mess!

What's expensive is: (singing) This guy is disgusting and has a grudge against us literati. Perhaps the scholar dug out the eggs of turtle seeds in the ancestral grave, or the teacher spilled urine spots on the stone tablet of the ancestral grave. Look at this, gritting your teeth and not eating,

There is a snitch squeaking in my stomach. Please eat quickly!

Huang: (singing) As soon as he mentioned eating, I had an opinion. I might as well give him another exam and eat it after the exam. If he fails, he will be dismissed. Hey, sir, let me test you.

What is expensive: alas! Hungry, now it's cold enough to sizzle! You must eat Beijing roast duck.

Huang: I mean the exam, the exam.

Where is it expensive? Oh, it's really different from the local ten miles. You should serve four barbecues first. ...

Huang: Sir, you didn't hear clearly. I mean, I have a question. I'll test your gastrointestinal knowledge right away.

What's expensive: Look, if you want chaos, you can take the exam now! Take the exam quickly.

Huang: I have a question! How many days do you walk back and forth from underground to heaven, and then from heaven to underground?

What's expensive: Have you been there?

Huang: No! Have you been there?

What is expensive? Me neither.

Huang: How many days did you say you would leave?

What's expensive: neither of us has been there, let me tell you! It takes three or four days to go back and forth from the ground to the sky.

Huang: Why three or four days?

What is expensive? Three or four days. Twenty-third of the twelfth lunar month, offering sacrifices to the stove, thirty, picking up grandpa. It takes three or four days to go back and forth.

Huang: (counting by hand) Hey, it's obviously seven days. Why three or four days?

What is expensive: three days plus four days is not seven days! You can only calculate the money.

Huang: Hmm ... Right, right, right, that's seven days. Oh, I didn't see this guy playing diaosi for three or nine days. It was really cool. Hey, sir, let me ask you another question.

What is expensive: testing! Test! See what you can test.

Huang: What's the name of Zhou Yu's father? What was Zhuge Liang's father's name again?

What is expensive? As we all know, take this as a test. Look at this play, which sings "If you were born in, how can you be bright?"? If you are alive, you will be angry with little Zhou Lang. " Zhou Yu's father is Zhou Bi, and Zhuge Liang's father is He Ge.

Huang: Who is that alive?

What is expensive? This is a gap. Think about it. Zhou Yu is the commander-in-chief of Jiangnan. How handsome and beautiful he is. When he reached a gap, he wanted to eat vegetables and become a soldier. Zhou Yulie took one look and said, Get out! I was angry, so I said Zhou Lang.

Huang: Xiao, yes, yes, sir, I'll give you another question to test.

What is expensive: test your mother's eggs! If you don't eat well, I'll cook it myself! (Run to the next door and stick a white steamed bun with a stick to eat)

Huang: Hey, why did you eat my steamed bread?

What's expensive: white steamed bread is more delicious than black steamed bread!

Huang: Do we agree with brown bread?

What's expensive: I don't care about you. ...

Huang: Bring me my steamed bread!

(Two people grab each other's curtains)

-The end of the play