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Guo: There are quite a lot of people here.
Li: Hey.
Guo: I should thank the audience today. It's raining, and it's still raining. This is a good proverb.
Li: Which sentence?
Guo: The wind is halved and the rain is over.
Li: Our industry.
Guo: Isn't it? It's nice to have so many friends in such a heavy rain.
Li: Yes.
Guo: Don't leave after the performance today.
Li: Why are you going?
Guo: Let's have dinner together.
Li: Oh.
Guo: whoever goes will spend money.
Li: I thought you were going to invite us.
Guo: There are too many people. I can't afford it. Thanks for your support.
Li: Hey.
Guo: The backstage is also quite messy today.
Li: Why?
Guo: I haven't stopped calling since it began to rain.
Li: Oh.
Guo: They all call backstage.
Li: Hmm.
Guo: I'm telling you, I bet on cars today, and this will be the case in the future.
Li: The traffic is a little inconvenient.
Guo: Well, just then, the phone rang-bang, bang, bang, bang. ....
Li: Jingyun Drum
Guo: Say. Where is it? It's on its way. Then it rang again-click-click-click-click-click-click ... Shi Aidong. Can't arrive on time. Then it rang again-Dad, answer the phone. Hey, Jing Li, where is it? Ok, (Li, wait a minute) let's have a party this evening. ...
Li: I don't think that's right.
Guo: Ah.
Li: Why does my bell ring like this?
Guo: Everyone knows about our relationship, right? ...
Li: What do you know?
Guo: We are brothers and sisters, but in fact, we are like father and son.
Li: You don't have to use such a metaphor.
Guo: It has been a long time to cooperate with you.
Li: On and off.
Guo: Isn't it? Since 2000, with Jing Li, skipping people sometimes talk cross talk together.
Li: Yes.
K: OK.
Li: Don't flatter me.
Guo: I am very interested in people like you.
Li: What does Xing mean?
Guo: Ah! A great man.
Li: I'm flattered.
Guo: I can sing Allegro.
Li: Hmm.
Guo: I can speak cross talk. Especially when Allegro sings so well.
Li: Don't flatter yourself.
Guo: This is the leader of the Beggars' Sect in Beijing.
Li: Why do you keep bringing this up?
Guo: Originally, people earned more than this if they majored themselves.
Li: What's the name of this major?
Guo: It is said that cross talk does not make money. People do what he does, with boards and bags around their necks. Ah, there's the head of Qianmen Street. It's fun to go back and forth to Yongdingmen for one hundred yuan. Know what?
Li: That doesn't earn much.
Guo: Yes, it's not much money, but this pocket can be full.
Li: Yes, it's all small change.
K: OK.
Li: Where is this industry now?
Guo: You can't earn that much money just by talking about cross talk. It seems that people need to know more.
Li: Hey, you're right.
Guo: Isn't it? Take me for example, I like studying very much.
Li: Great.
Guo: Ah. Love research (laughs)
Li: What are you interested in? What are you studying?
Guo: I am a second-hand scientist.
Li: Does this scientist also have a second-hand one?
Guo: Because we are not primary school classmates.
Li: Oh.
Guo: Becoming a monk halfway. There is a good saying.
Li: Which sentence?
Guo: The belly of a scientist is a grocery store.
Li: There is no such sentence.
Guo: This is an old word, isn't it?
Li: That's a word in cross talk.
Guo: Anyway, we know a lot and know a lot. It's good. What happened backstage, they all asked me, ah, what do you think, how to solve it?
Nobody knows. I told him, open, understand, understand, how nice!
Li: Yes.
Guo: It's good for everyone. Mr Zhang hasn't been to Zhang Wenshun these days.
Li: What's the matter
Guo: Something happened the other day, and I started to get scared. Later, after I explained it, the old people got down to earth.
Li: Oh.
Guo: Some time ago, Mr. Zhang turned white as soon as he entered the backstage.
Li: What's the matter
Guo: Degang, come quickly. We have something to do. How are you, Mr. Zhang? What's the matter? I had a dream.
Li: Oh, dreaming.
Guo: You scared me. What did you dream? I dreamed that I turned into a cow and ate grass on the mountain. What are you afraid of?
Li: Yes, there is nothing to be afraid of.
Guo: There is nothing to be afraid of if you have a dream. Wake up in the morning
Li: Ah.
Guo: The mat on my bed is missing.
Li: Oh?
Guo: Somebody, take him to the hospital. I haven't chosen to clean it up yet
Li: That's not a good choice.
Guo: I'm all summer sleeping mats. Ah, so I didn't come these days. therefore
Li: Ah.
Guo: I play a very important role backstage.
Li: I can't live without you.
Guo: I am the director of the science and technology department of Beijing Crosstalk Conference.
Li: How can there be such an organization?
Guo: You have to understand and learn, don't you? There is a new term called cloning.
Li: Ah, yes.
Guo: Do you know?
Li: Not exactly.
Guo: How do you know?
Li: Tell me about it.
Guo: You don't have time to study this, but you are thinking about that.
Li: Oh, yes, yes. Tell me about it.
Guo: This clone, this deep, you know (sitting on the table), earlier. ....
Li: Scientist, stand up and speak.
Guo: In the Academy of Sciences, we all study things on the kang.
Li: No, just stand and say it.
Guo: Clone, everyone is here today. I want to explain what cloning is.
Li: Great.
Guo: Cloning, scientifically speaking, is copying, you know (lifting pants). ...
Li: Hey, hey, hey! Go to the bathroom
Guo: Scientists tighten their belts.
Li: What's wrong with that?
Guo: For example, if a cow extracts genes from it, it can copy another cow.
Li: Yes.
Guo: Sheep can do it, so can people.
Li: You can also imitate others.
Guo: For example.
Li: Ah.
Guo: Let's count this day. By the end of this month, Jing Li will be dead.
Li: Who has nothing to do with this?
Guo: Let's discuss this problem.
Li: Everyone is looking forward to this day. What is this?
Guo: What should we do? Come up with an idea, make preparations in advance and clone a Jing Li.
Li: Let's prepare first.
Guo: Isn't it? Prepare a big white porcelain jar, brush it clean, brush it clean, and it's all dry. Put it aside when there is no water. Go to the fish market, buy a rubber tube, take a needle at this end and connect it. Poof (mouth plus action)
Li: Oh.
Guo: plunge into it, and this end sucks fast.
Li: Oh, oh.
Guo: break! I've seen all the changes in fish and water, haven't I? What's more, what blood is it? In a white porcelain jar, what blood is there? 400 Jin.
Li: Then it's not the end of the month. It is dead.
Guo: Ah. Of course, that's also a way. There's a lot of blood, right? Ok, pull this end down and throw it aside, and make up to see if it is thick (action)
Li: Wow.
Guo: Put some chopped green onion in it.
Li: Huh?
Guo: Ginger foam, put salt, put a photo of Li Jing, put a pair of bamboo boards, cover them, turn on electricity, press the switch, open the cover for half an hour, and one will be made. Later, this technology was learned by blood tofu dealers.
Li: I also sound like a tofu maker.
Guo: That's right. This needs to be studied.
Li: That's what you learned.
Guo: You have to study it. You see, when I say this, you can write it down in a notebook, which will be useful in the future.
Li: What's the use of that?
Guo: You see, including when you dream that you will become a cow and a sheep in the future. I can tell you in advance if you ask me. Go to the hospital and wait.
Li: We don't sleep on a mat at home.
Guo: Sleep, sleep or not? Put the sleeping mat aside. I can tell you about dreaming.
Li: Yes.
Guo: There is no one in the world who has never had a dream.
Li: Yes.
Guo: Why do people dream?
Li: You said
Guo: People lie down and sleep. Watching you rest, the brain's thinking has not stopped working.
Li: Hey.
Guo: Re-demonstrate the things you have met, the people you have met and the scenery you have been to.
Li: Yes.
Guo: With your own thoughts, you have formed a different picture, that is, dreaming.
Li: You have a point.
Guo: Isn't it? Some people say that this dream represents something, but I think it is superstition, not that.
Li: Yes.
Guo: Some people say that I dreamed of fish, ok.
Li: How good is it?
Guo: I dreamed of a big goldfish.
Li: Hmm.
Guo: I made a fortune.
Li: Oh?
Guo: Water dream.
Li: Hmm.
Guo: Rich. Dream of donkeys
Li: What's this?
Guo: No, it's a ghost.
Li: Oh, the pressure is still so great.
Guo: I dreamed of a little boy.
Li: What's this?
Guo: Little people. I dreamed of a big fat girl, who was a noble person.
Li: Oh.
Guo: You see, the most irritating thing is that it is best to dream of heaven and touch the moon.
Li: What does it stand for?
Guo: Be an emperor.
Li: Oh.
Guo: I had more than 4,000 dreams.
Li: Have you become an emperor?
Guo: Isn't it also a cross talk?
Li: It's no use.
Guo: Not at all. This is a lie. This is a good proverb.
Li: Which sentence?
Guo: I think all day and all night, don't I?
Li: Yes.
Guo: Some spectators insisted on inviting me to dinner for roast duck that day. You know my appetite.
Li: Not much.
Guo: I especially don't like roast duck.
Li: Yes.
Guo: I only ate four. I can't eat any more.
Li: No, please wait a moment. I heard for the first time that eating roast duck is limited to eating.
Guo: It means turning the pie upside down, rolling one cake at a time and rolling one cake at a time.
Li: Can that roll go in?
Guo: As long as the cake is big, right? I can't eat four. I have to go home for dinner for a while.
Li: Ah, I'm not full yet.
Guo: Well, go home and eat the bird hot pot prepared by our family.
Li: Oh.
Guo: Does the bird know?
Li: I know.
Guo: Oh, what about this goose?
Li: Pigeons.
Guo: Pigeons, quails and chickens all have wings.
Li: Hmm.
Guo: Get a big pot to eat this. You said you didn't leave the bird this day, and you slept with wings at night.
Li: I can't believe I thought of that.
Guo: Fly.
Li: Hmm.
Guo: I feel like I went up the mountain with a shotgun on my back.
Li: Oh?
Guo: Go hunting. Oh, here comes one.
Li: Try it.
Guo: One shot came down, and another flew over here. Dang, hit it. I'm exhausted after hitting more than 3 thousand.
Li: Oh.
Guo: I'm playing, and another one is flying.
Li: Hmm.
Guo: It's a big one.
Li: How big is it?
Guo: It's bigger than a swan.
Li: Wow.
Guo: These wings are one meter long. They make a crackling sound. Oh, aim, just about to hit, talk.
Li: Hmm.
Guo: Don't fight! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! I'm not a bird, not a bird.
Li: It can also speak human words.
Guo: I am behind. You frightened the life out of me. Who are you? Where are you? I am an angel.
Li: I dreamed of angels.
Guo: Angels? Which league are you in?
Li: Where do angels come from?
Guo: Where are you from? You are.
Li: No unit.
Guo: You don't know me. I come from heaven. Does God know that God sent me to find you, God? Who is the apprentice?
Li: There is no portal.
Guo: What can I say?
Li: Not at all.
Guo: Come, follow me. You are going to heaven now, but if you go to heaven, you will die.
Li: Yes.
Guo: Am I dead? No, I didn't listen to this letter.
Li: You ate four roast ducks. Think about it.
Guo: Dead? That's possible, right, right, follow it, follow it, it gets a cloud, stands on it, um ... comes to heaven, looks good, the building looks good, the door is closed, and there are signs on both sides.
Li: What?
Guo: No stalls are allowed around Paradise 100 meters.
Li: Heaven is still under the control of the military.
Guo: I'll wait here. The angel said you wait, I'll call the door. Hey, I said, what's your name? Haven't you asked his name yet? Just call me Sam.
Li: Three children?
K: OK, you can call the door. There is another doorbell at the door. Ding-dong, the door opened, uncle Wang came out and came back! Come back. This is Mr. Guo. Come in, come in.
Li: Very enthusiastic.
Guo: I was put in. At first glance, there is a big screen facing me.
Li: Oh.
Guo: This screen is too big. From here, there are rows of clocks and watches.
Li: Oh, they are all watches.
Guo: They are all so big. Three needles are spinning here. They are all full. They are spinning fast and full. I said, what's going on? You don't know this, do you? There is another person on the ground. There is a watch in the sky.
Li: They all correspond.
Guo: correspondingly, I said, why are some fast and some slow? Good people turn slowly, and bad people turn fast.
Li: Such a concern
Guo: Oh, where are your works?
Li: You remember me.
Guo: Look, oh, no, it's used as an electric fan in the house of God.
Li: Huh? How fast is this change?
Guo: Ah, everyone has seen this human nature.
Li: What a mess!
Guo: Turn around, turn around. Come on, wait in this room, take me in and have a look. Oh, God is sitting there smoking.
Li: Oh, God also has this hobby.
Guo: Why hasn't it come yet?
Li: Waiting for you.
Guo: What's the matter? I hurried in. Yo yo yo, Mr. Shang, Mr. Shang.
Li: Mr. Shang?
Guo: Mr. Deshang.
Li: What? Man is God.
Guo: Brother, brother.
Li: Hi, what's your name?
Guo: Long time no see. It's good. It's good. Hello, Mr. Guo. I don't know if Mr. Guo has arrived. He didn't meet him from afar and atone face to face. How dare you? You came regardless of everything. Let's make up for it, my Lord.
Li: You are going to sing.
Guo: Sit down and pour a glass of water. What did I say? You sent me?
Li: Hmm.
Guo: It's a good thing you went to heaven.
Li: This is a good thing.
Guo: So, who are these three people? Lao Wang is going to prepare dinner, and so is our family.
Li: Are you here?
Guo: Well, here I am. Come and sit down. You're welcome. Today, let's have a good meal, please have a sumptuous banquet, with the best specifications. Besides, I'm not particularly particular about what I eat, just generally. No, no,no. Others can, but you can't. You must be good to me.
Li: Why?
Guo: After so many years, it's hard to make a crosstalk performer go to heaven. You know, you have to be nice to him.
Li: Did you go to hell?
Guo: Kung Fu dishes will be ready soon. At first glance, oh, which one is rich? Each person has a set of pancake fruit and a cup of boiling water.
Li: I still eat this.
Guo: I said, Brother, just eat this. There's still money. Sorry, you see, it's you in heaven, me, Sam and Lao Wang. The four of us don't deserve to start a business You can make do with it first.
Li: Save money.
Guo: Let's eat. After dinner, sit here and chat. I said, what are the benefits of going to heaven? The benefits are great, too great.
Li: What do you have?
Guo: Well, because you are a great person, we can grant you a wish. You can do anything you want. I said, well, I hope the world will be peaceful, the people will live and work in peace and contentment, and there will be no war, okay?
Li: You ask too many questions.
Guo: God thought about it, (smoking), this is the difficult point.
Li: It is not easy.
Guo: Tell the truth. I'm not so excited, so I won't tell you the rest. It's ... (smoking)
Li: God, this cigarette is enough.
Guo: Can I exchange it? Let's discuss something else. I touch my body with photos of Li Jing. Your photo, brother, please look at this. This is my other disciples, Jing Li. He is very ugly. I can't find a date. You give it to him and make it beautiful. Take a look. ) Come, let's talk about world peace.
Li: This is more difficult than that, isn't it?
Guo: Ah, that's right. It is outrageous for me to say that you are here. Did you tear it for me? I don't agree. Why tear it? I still keep it to ward off evil spirits. I can't bully people.
Li: That's our stills. He was wrong.
Guo: No, it's yours alone. I took a special look. You're outrageous. I said that when God was in a hurry, oh, you threw a cigarette butt, your coat took off, your palm was wide to protect your heart, and there was a tattoo of hairtail here.
Li: Where can I find hairtail tattoos?
Guo: I'm in a hurry. Hey, I'm afraid of you. Let's draw outside and say it's outside. I have never quarreled with him. Where are the three of them? Oh, my God, the three of them.
Li: How did these three people get together?
Guo: Open the gate and step on a cloud. Fly. I didn't expect god to come out. I took a remote control out of my pocket, pointed at the cloud, turned it over, and I fell down.
Li: It can also be remotely controlled.
Guo: He cares about that thing. If it really falls to the ground, it will really break.
Li: Exactly.
Guo: Bang, two hands caught me, and then one hand helped me stand on the ground, which made me glad.
Li: Yes.
Guo: Look at these two people. Oh, they are so ugly.
Li: What do they all look like?
Guo: I'm poorer than.
Li: Will you stop talking about me?
Guo: Oh, that time was right before. It's ugly. One is a big bull's head, and the other is a big horse with a steel fork in his hand.
Li: Oh.
Guo: No, this is cow's head and horse's face.
Li: I recognize it.
Guo: Is it also in Jin Ping Mei?
Li: No, I haven't.
Guo: Tang Priest, learn from the scriptures.
Li: Is that The Journey to the West?
Guo: Journey to the West? The two are not the same thing.
Li: Much worse.
Guo: Oh, I was thinking. It's not Tang Priest, is it?
Li: There is no Tang Priest or Simon.
Guo: Oh, Master Simon. I said, guys, what can I do for you? Your name is Degang Guo? No, no, no, my name is Jing Li. I can't, I can't (loudly). Why are you so poor?
Li: You, I'll slap you if you mention this again.
Guo: Look at the face. Looks like a car accident. No, you're Degang Guo. You can't leave. You can't leave. The devil wants you. Go, go, go to hell. Have you ever seen such bad luck? Ah. It's going to hell again. Let's go. Go to the underworld slowly. It will take a few days. Stand here and take a taxi later.
Li: By taxi?
Guo: Save the aisle, here we come, get on the bus, bah, this piece of six is this, this is not reported, you know Li: this financial system is quite strict.
Guo: Hmm. Wait, wait a dollar and two. After a while, I'll have a piece of two, get on the bus and pull me to the forest industry hall and the underworld. It's terrible to see it. The whole Cao Yin Hall was crying.
Li: Yes.
Guo: Take the frying pan, and the children take steel forks and fork these newly dead prisoners into the frying pan.
Li: I panicked.
Guo: The frying pan rattles and turns the oil. Too bad. One person goes down, two people embrace together and go down to fry, and someone goes down to fry in a square.
Li: How about this fried cake?
Guo: Bombs, bomb criminals.
Li: Those two hugs are fried dough sticks.
Guo: Fried, fried, and then wait. This crime is enough for today. I'll listen to the electric bell ringing inside later-bell ... the devil has gone to work.
Li: Oh, oh.
Guo: Standing on both sides, the ghost king came out, wearing a crown and a pleated yellow robe, sitting behind the dragon book case, which was too big, more than three meters long.
Li: Not small.
Guo: Use a fan, which is eye-catching and a handkerchief.
Li: Why are you still wearing this?
Guo: The horrible person is sitting here, um (hard). It looks long from a distance, but from a close distance, it is shaking. Some people said it was a gourd, others said it was a gourd, so they rushed over and took a risk in the water. They bet that Wang Wenlin was taking a bath on the bridge by the river. All the children in GREAT GHOST stand up. Okay (Applause), terrifying stands up. Thank you, thank you, thank you. ...
Li: What is this hall?
Guo: Well, did you bring all the criminals? I'll go back with you. I have everything. All right, bring it up. Outside, they came in. Look, I have been here recently. Terrible stood up and looked at Yan Fang and Anita Mui.
Li: Looking for a beautiful one?
Guo: What about Yanfang? The horse face is coming, and grandma Yan won't let me take it. Oh, that's good. Take the three of them away. Besides, where are those people? Bring it up and then bring it in. Zhang Wenshun, Wang Wenlin, ah, Li Jingdu came in. Kneel down, kneel down (hard), all three of them knelt down. Terrible people look at this hatred. Your name is Zhang Wenshun, but my name is Zhang Wenshun (leaning against his shoulder). My shoulder is awkward, fighting, fighting, the baby is coming.
Li: Yes.
Guo: Just like the cactus, the headband on the big round stick is sharp and big, and it's all broken, and it's bleeding down the forehead, blare ... (Action)
Li: That's too bad.
Guo: Kneel down. Jing Li (loudly)
Li: It's me.
Guo: What's the matter? (Jing Li's voice)
Li: Is that what I said?
Guo: Yes, it's the smell of you. Oh, how dare you talk like that? Ah, mace, four ribs, hit him, four ribs, bang bang ... the whole front is like a hedge, and ... it's all blood.
Li: Worse than him.
Guo: Yes, it's interesting. It's interesting.
Li: When will it be interesting?
Guo: Ah, it's still interesting. Fight, you all go together. Ah, more than 400 people, each holding a mace, pointed to Mr. Wang's head, and he was bleeding all around.
Li: Yes, there is no hair.
Guo: It's all over. There's another one. Where is Degang Guo?
Li: What about you?
Guo: I can't run away. It's my turn to get bigger and smaller. I feel horrible. When I go up and listen to the orders of the terrifying, you will be ready when he comes. Sword, sword, halberd, axe, hook, fork, fire and frying pan are all ready. Wait for him.
Li: You are better than us.
Guo: I'm miserable. You gave me a fright when I came up. It was scary. Your name is Degang Guo, ah (forcefully). Yes, it's Degang Guo. Ah, don't you dare say cross talk. Ah, you are very capable and dare to say anything. Ah, you must be crazy. Ah, come on, fight together, fight with swords and halberds. I feel horrible. Can be changed. Let him sit there like a stool.
Li: Hey, I don't play now.
Guo: I, I can talk. I sat here like a stool, and the devil took the bowl. You drink my wine.
Li: I enjoyed it.
K: Here, take one. Thank you. Thank you. It doesn't matter. I have a good relationship with that brother. Don't mention him, don't mention him. Well, I called you here today to discuss something. All four of you are talking about cross talk, and there are very few good people who say cross talk. Today, when the death penalty has been exempted, it is hard to forgive the crime of living. I must punish the four of you. How to punish them? Take a ride (awesome!
Li: What?
Guo: Four turtle covers.
Li: Tortoise shell?
Guo: Hey. It's a turtle's back shell, and all four of them are labeled. Three of them write about men and one about women. The terrifying said, you four, come on, go back to the dead, don't be a man, be a turtle in your next life. Ah, even if you are punished, let's go drilling. Let me start with these three people.
Li: Why?
Guo:,, wandering around, every time I get into a male, I turn around and run. I hate you to death.
Li: Well, it's better to strike first.
Guo: Leave me one with "Mom" written on it. If the dead are like this, let's meet by the river. Just kidding, can this stand, this?
Li: That's interesting.
Guo: Ah. Terrible also urged me to hurry, drill, drill and go. It's terrible. It's-it's not working. Cut the crap and hurry up. This won't spare you. It's not (very wronged), just give me another chance. Can I change it later? Are you sure you don't want to drill (force)? All right, no drilling.