Hello, teachers and students! I will recite a poem I wrote for you. The name of the poem is Beautiful Country My Home. This is how I feel about my hometown and myself. If I write badly, please criticize me. ...

A (from the side) Hehe, it's really lively today. Haha, audience friends! I miss you so much! At this gathering moment, I wish you all the best, always smile, grow old together, be childlike, and strive for 1 61 Children's Day, hehe!

B (to himself) Where did you get nothing to do? (backward, loudly) Hey, host, did you read the wrong program?

A (walks to B) Yes, yes, hello, this classmate!

I'm fine, I'm fine. What do you want to see me about?

A yes, yes.

B Well, why don't you wait backstage for a while? Look, I'm performing a program. I'll see you after the show.

I only came to you to discuss this project with you.

Do you have any comments and suggestions on this program?

A yes. Look, I think the audience will probably have this reaction after listening to your poem recitation. (Nodding)

B Hehe, you praised me. I just hope the audience can give me more applause. Do you think the audience will really like my poems?

What does a like? This way! (Nodding to sleep)

B oh ...

A (yawns) The audience is asleep!

b！ ? No way! (flashing, turning to armor) Huh? So you have a way to make my program more attractive to the audience?

Hey, hey, I'm flattered.

You give advice.

A not busy. Let me test your eyesight first. What do you think I look like?

B (to himself) Judging from his appearance, he must have come out to cheat on food and drink. Judging from your appearance and temperament, you must be a literary and art worker engaged in art?

A dare not, dare not, can only be regarded as a bad cross talk lover.

Well, you want to change this poem into a cross talk?

A is right! Nowadays, people are under too much pressure, and everyone likes to listen to light and funny things. This is called "bullshit".

B (doubtfully) changed the poem into a cross talk? Is it too irrelevant?

A This is not a problem for me, a cross talk lover who has been engaged in writing and adapting for many years. What is important is that this program must be light-hearted and humorous in order to attract our young audience.

In short, if you want to keep the audience awake, you have to make them happy.

A: Exactly! (to the audience) Do you want to listen to cross talk? (Right) Why don't we start practicing while changing now?

Now? Is it inappropriate to practice from scratch in front of such a large audience?

A Then you'll just have to wait and watch everyone doze off! (I want to go)

B, can't I practice when you come back? But I stutter. Are you sure everyone will sleep?

A don't understand? Think of rehearsal as an impromptu cross talk performance. Besides, with an expert like me as your foil, the more you stutter, the more interesting you will be. (to himself) Besides, I'll show my face on his show, and we'll get to know each other later.

B Hey, what did you say?

A (hurriedly) I said, I'll show it to you today, and you'll be familiar with it later.

Oh! (to the audience) So, teachers and students, if you don't mind, we'll revise this program and rehearse it for you! Thank you!

A: Let's perform a chorus for everyone. The name of cross talk is … (indicating B to help answer the phone).

B is called ... my home is in the beautiful countryside! (to himself) Why is it a little embarrassing?

Beautiful country, my home, beautiful scenery, I love her. ...

B yo! And sang it. I really met a master who can talk and sing today. Please, I interrupted your happiness. Seriously, should I talk about my life with my hometown, countryside and farmers?

Oh, yes, yes, yes! I haven't asked your last name yet. It ranks first in the family.

Oh, my name is Zhang, and I am the third in our family.

One ... ouch, aren't you forcing me not to sing?

B what's wrong with that?

A If we don't sing, the audience won't be amused by us!

B Oh, is there such a saying? Then you can tease at will!

A (singing) Zhang Laosan, I ask you, where is your hometown?

B ask me? I come from Ji 'an, Jiangxi.

A (singing) Your home is in Jiangxi, 300 miles across the river.

B (pointing to A) He is really good, hehe!

How much does a (singer) have, RMB, and what business does he do at home?

Well, it's still business. Plant a few acres of land and some vegetables and rice. Alas, it is not easy for farmers to make money now! (shaking his head)

A (still singing) contracted several acres of land and planted some vegetables and rice. (smugly) Good, good, good joke! Interesting! You must be very happy today, right?

(angrily) Look, brother, are you from the city?

A: Yes.

B hum! What have you city people been doing all day? Is it interesting? What's the point? Farmers earn only enough money in the fields all year round. Is this called self-satisfaction? This must be fun, right?

A (speechless, stuttering a little) I, I, I, I don't know the situation. Students, don't be so angry. Yes, increasing farmers' income and rural development is a serious problem before us, which is related to the realization of our grand blueprint for building a well-off society in an all-round way. ...

Second, the city leaders have a meeting, that's all.

Don't say that either. Farmers like you, if you want to get rich, you have to develop your own unique development model.

B that makes sense.

Excuse me, is your hometown rich in forest resources?

B It's ... rich, so to speak.

Since A has money and is located in the old revolutionary base area, you can use this resource for an "ecological tour of the old revolutionary base area"! (excitedly) Look, look, look?

B what did you see?

(gesturing) A look! When the road is built to the entrance of the village, a satellite antenna is erected on the roof, and a mountain forest is surrounded by bamboo fences, which becomes a scenic spot. You have to buy a ticket to come in, 60 yuan alone. It's definitely not cost-effective for tourists to detour to the door and turn around and go back. There is a bathing place for the imperial concubine by the stream, 15 yuan tickets are charged separately; Under the plum tree is the enlightenment of the old gentleman, and the tickets for 15 yuan cannot be less; A monument to the Red Army will be built on the top of the mountain, and it will cost everyone 20 yuan to visit. There is a temple in the valley, in front of which stands a stone tablet engraved with "key cultural relics protection units", and there is no need to collect tickets here.

Why didn't b accept it again?

A is waiting for the pilgrims to buy incense paper money, kowtow to the Buddha and burn incense! That high fragrance, 200 yuan a column, is better than the ticket. You villagers are just waiting to "brush" and count money for fun!

What if people complain that we cheat customers?

A: How? Will people still say that the Buddha raised prices?

oh

Within a few months, you will be singing and dancing every night. Jiangxi is the first well-off village, where every household and farmers sit on the ground and enjoy a bumper harvest. Villagers have cars, but Santana doesn't want them. We can't lose that man. We have to say Mercedes-Benz, BMW, Volvo, Rolls Royce ... Alitalia ... Clinton Lewinsky. ...

b！ This guy, he's very interested.

And that black Katie. Does Katie know? Get one in the village, have face!

What "Katie"! It's called Cadillac

Answer yes! Such a high-end car, which we use to pick up guests, must not be low! Katie soliciting!

B cough!

A That's called, (singing) singing folk songs, singing this and that, singing that. Wealth is like a spring. The more you travel, the richer you will be.

B Just like you made a fortune. Why do you always sing?

You don't understand this. Crosstalk pays attention to speaking, learning and singing. Singing is very important. You should learn more from me.

B ah, yes. (to himself) Do you think this man is blowing his own horn?

A (praise) of course it looks good! Look at this village. Look at its green mountains and green waters from a distance.

B, look at her toilet stool.

A (see B) looks at her melon and fruit fragrance from a distance.

B, look at her Pesticides are very popular.

A (then looks at B) looks at her from a distance in the jungle.

B watched her fall to the ground.

A: I said, aren't you fooling around? I praise your hometown assiduously, but you have a hard time with your hometown everywhere?

B: didn't I truthfully reflect the present situation in the countryside?

A status quo? What do you mean by "falling all over the floor"?

All the trees in the forest have been cut down.

Don't you dare to use this resource for wood processing instead of tourism!

B yes! Otherwise, how can I say that forest resources are "rich"?

How do you say this "comparison"?

In other words, compared with last year, our forest resources there are still "relatively" rich. Compared with this year, next year's forest resources will be "relatively" less abundant.

All armor has been cut off!

B isn't it? The last township head arrived, and in order to show his political achievements, he said that he would engage in a characteristic industry of wood processing, and he ordered the whole town to cut down trees. Alas! (imitating a) look, look, look?

What does A see?

B (strokes) Village after village, mountain after mountain, go! The forest became a stump.

Ouch! (shaking his head)

B This mountain is bare, but it is very distinctive, which just corresponds to the sentence "Let some people get rich first".

Oh? Who got rich first?

Township head b home! Who else could it be?

A: Well, here we are. Why don't we learn the manners of the township head?

(doubtfully) Are you crazy? There are so many advanced models that you don't learn, but you are more willing to learn from those corrupt elements. Who is this?

A: No, no, no, you misunderstood. When I say "learning", it is an important way of performance in cross talk, paying attention to imitating the voices and bodies of various characters.

B to put it bluntly, acting.

A can understand it this way. Then, I learn from the township head, and you learn from the village party secretary who received me!

B hey, ok.

(rudely) Xiao Zhang, how is the wood processing in your village?

Thanks to the good policies of your, the characteristic industries in our village are now flourishing.

Oh, send me a batch of wood to my nephew's furniture factory tomorrow.

Ok, ok, I'll send it to you early tomorrow morning.

The day after tomorrow, A will help pull a cart of wood to my cousin's paper mill.

B OK, OK, I'll do it for you.

Oh, it's almost time. I have seen everything I need to see here, and I have done everything I need to do. It's time to go back.

Oh, township head, you came all the way to have a light meal before you leave. It is almost twelve o'clock.

A: I am so embarrassed. And be accused of eating and drinking, bureaucrats.

It's nothing. Help yourself to a meal and a drink. Come on, please go in, please go in

Answer (to the audience), so I don't know how many white stripes will be printed.

B yes.

That's the last one. What kind of special economy does this township head ask you to engage in?

B He said that in order to meet the inspection in the city, he said that he would do greening.

A: Well, whether it is for inspection or not, the greening has been done and the vegetation ecology has been restored. Not bad!

B, restore what? This guy annoys us more than the last one!

A is angry? Really? It's better to cut down trees and plant them now than not to plant them at all, right?

B planting trees, when did I say planting trees? I said "greening"!

What's that ... planting grass?

B spray paint!

Answer? What?

B spray paint, green paint is sprayed on the vast barren hills, and the inspection team has had enough wine and food. When they look at the expressway two or three miles away, they will pass when they see green.

Jiahao! And so ruthless!

Oh, forget it!

A: Really! As long as this kind of person is an official for one day, you will have a hard day!

Look at this countryside, where there are all kinds of disadvantages brought by poverty and backwardness, so I decided to study hard, go to college, get out of the small world of the countryside, and use my knowledge and talents to build and change my hometown in the future!

A has ambition!

So I study hard day and night. ...

A let's stop here. Why don't you tell the audience how hard you studied in high school? Finally, one day, you got sick and how your parents cared about you.

B studies very hard, which is the first time I have heard this description. However, the hard work in the third year of high school is also true. I often go to bed at two or three in the evening and get up at four or five. It's really hard.

You don't pay attention to your health. You are tired, you have a bad cold and a high fever of 40 degrees. Your fever has finally gone down. Parents stay in front of the hospital bed and take care of you. I will learn from your father.

b？ Learn again? Okay, okay, that's okay. (to himself) He took advantage!

A (affectionately) Saner, you have lost weight.

B, this is ... Dad, you have gained weight!

Jia Saner, put down your baggage and study at ease. No matter where you are admitted, your parents will also provide you with education, even if you are an iron seller, a cattle and horse dealer, a road robber or a drug smuggler. ...

B shut up! What did you say about our family?

A Hehe, I mainly want to show the deep affection between your father and son. Learn from Aunt Ni Ping and be emotional.

B what are you still stirring up? Too many, isn't it?

Ok, anyway, your fever is gone, you are well, and you are out of the hospital. ...

UH huh? Stop ... let me ask you something.

First, you ask.

You said I was in hospital?

A: Yes.

B cough! Hospitalized? He doesn't care what your problem is. Living in the hospital once is at least equal to half a year's tuition. Who lives there? I'm not even in the hospital.

Jana, how did you live to stand on the stage and tell me cross talk?

B this ... will you die if you don't stay in hospital? At that time, I went to the school doctor for two injections and prescribed some Chinese medicines.

A will be ready in a minute?

B is fine!

Have your parents come to see you?

B No, their home is far from school. How can they have time?

A said the emotional scene didn't come out. All right! Then I will have a warm scene.

B warm?

A Do you always go home on Saturday and Sunday?

Go home.

That Saturday happened to be your birthday, and you went home.

B (pinching fingers) When is my birthday on Saturday?

For example! It happens that birthday and Saturday are the same day. When you came home from school that afternoon, you found that the lights at home were off and only a few candles were lit. ...

B power failure?

A: No.

B (surprised) Something happened? Is it a white candle?

Where do you want to go? It was a colorful candle inserted in the birthday cake, and your parents gave you a sudden surprise.

B surprise? When did my parents become so romantic?

Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday!

B (to himself) Speaking of happiness, he will definitely sing. I see.

Jia Saner!

b？ Learn from my dad again.

Jia Saner, the college entrance examination is coming soon. Today is your birthday, and you are at home. Mom and dad specially cooked a sumptuous dinner for you to entertain you.

B (pointing to A) has to pretend to be a son of an adult and make a living. It is estimated that pretending to be a grandson can also include travel accommodation.

A Look, look, these dishes are your favorite.

B: Ah.

A clean chicken. I killed an old hen on purpose today.

oh

A salted duck. I know you like duck's ass best. I saved it for you specially.

b？

A There are also kung pao chicken, shredded pork with fish sauce, braised beef, braised rabbit meat, fish fillets in tomato sauce and stir-fried bullfrog. ...

UH huh? Please stop. Is that girl pretty? Which village is it from?

A what girl? What village?

B Although I am an adult, my main task at present is to study. Although life events are important, let's talk about them after I graduate from college! What's your hurry now?

A What are the major events in life? You're confusing me!

Let me ask you, what are you doing to set the table for dinner?

Celebrate your birthday.

Oh! I thought I was going to marry a wife.

A cough! Isn't this a family? Is it warm?

B there is no need to show "warmth" like this! I'm afraid the red and white wedding banquet there is not as good as your recipe. How can the countryside compare with big cities?

So what did you eat when you got home that day?

B ordinary home-cooked meals. No big fish and meat, no birthday cake, no candles. The only difference in my impression is that I had a few drinks with my dad for nothing.

I see.

B was admitted to the university later, and felt that he was not paying his parents' money when he paid the tuition. ...

Answer? exactly ...

B It's not money, it's the blood and sweat of parents and tears. ...

A: Yes.

B Yes, my family situation is here. Compared with many students, I am really different from them.

What is the ratio of a to b? There is no comparability between people. As the saying goes, (singing) is different, but it is actually the same. The same youth is dedicated to college time!

B, alas! Why not? For example, some people often go to the "classmate restaurant" and I have no money to go; Some people often go to the movies, but I can only go to self-study often; Some people go to the supermarket to buy things, and I go to the supermarket to help others work temporarily; Some people drink pure water, and I send it to others in three rounds. ...

Jiahao! This job is good! I envy you!

Don't comfort me, I appreciate your kindness.

A really! This job is the envy of our male classmates! (to the audience) Don't you think?

Not really?

A: You see, as long as you carry a bucket of water, you can walk past the girls' dormitories in two buildings without asking. Isn't that great?

B Oh, hehe, that's true.

A (quietly) ask you something.

What's the matter?

Is it possible for a boy to pretend to be struggling with an empty bucket?

Are you dreaming?

How about a? Did you meet anyone?

B I was about to say it. It doesn't matter if someone is in love, I can't!

A what? Do you have a disability?

B you are disabled! I have no money. So, different, just different.

A, don't worry too much! As the saying goes, there is much grass in the sea, so why not look for it in Nanchang; I can't find the famous flowers. There is a monk temple on the mountain. Don't worry, you will meet her one day.

B: Yes! Haha, have confidence in yourself!

Now you should learn to turn desire into appetite, just like me.

B wants me to be like you? Eating is free? I just want to save some money to buy books. I almost eat steamed buns, steamed buns and instant noodles.

A (busy saying nice things) Steamed bread and steamed buns are very good! Delicious! Instant noodles are also very ... eating too much instant noodles is malnourished, (suddenly changing her mouth) Oh no, I mean eating too much is indigestion. ...

B nonsense, eating too much will lead to indigestion.

A will do! Nothing! It's okay to eat more! This instant noodle is delicious!

B delicious? Why do you think it is delicious? I don't think so.

A (make up an excuse) Look at my ... I ... this picture, which is a self-statement.

A big fat man. I ate a lot of delicious food, didn't I?

What delicious food? To tell the truth, I was attracted by the taste of instant noodles and ate like this!

b？ Does instant noodles make you fat?

A Yes, it's not good for me, but it's better for you! So you can rest assured to eat! Hehe, actually, after talking to you for so long, I have some feelings, and it is a song. ...

Do you want to sing? Singing again?

This song is for you, and also for the teachers and students present.

Oh? Then sing, everyone.

A (singing) Later, I finally learned how to look at the happiness and sadness of everyone around me. Later, I finally understood in my friendship that poor students need social care. Let's join hands, and you and I will go to the future together.

B thank you, thank you.

A I'm very happy today! Let's go, I'll treat you to dinner later!

Is it? Please, please, lest I be embarrassed to eat yours? What must you eat?

Look! Yes, spicy noodles, spicy noodles, three fresh noodles, braised beef noodles, spicy beef noodles, hot and sour beef noodles, spiced beef noodles, pickled beef noodles, fried Chili noodles in red oil, stewed chicken with mushrooms, braised pork ribs noodles, spicy sparerib noodles, shredded Chinese cabbage noodles, jade shrimp noodles, squid-colored spicy noodles, spicy cabbage noodles and spicy radish noodles.

Who can eat so much B?

A here is the menu. Choose one or two!

UH huh? Wait! These noodles sound familiar, as if I had eaten them before.

A must be familiar! All of them are sold in the supermarket.

B cough! Instant noodles!