1. Just now, while playing ball, an aunt who collected bottles came over ... Aunt: Young man, your level ... I: You can have this water bottle, but I don't want it. Aunt: No, I mean your level is too bad. Me: ...

2. Many express hotel bathrooms are designed with glass doors. It is not only for the sake of beauty, but also for the sake of saving costs. It is entirely for the sake of guests' consideration, so that one person does not have to take a shower and the other person rolls up the bag and runs away ...

3. Today, I went to apply for a membership card. A girl in her twenties

is applying for a card and handed in photos. The card-handling person said.

4. Playing games at home on weekends. Dad went out for a drink, and at night Dad called his home landline. I: Dad, what's up? Dad: Where are you? 1. Turn to my mother and say: You are ready, and Dad is drunk again. Let's see what skills to use to clean him up!

5. The crab accidentally bumped into the loach when going out for a walk. 1. I'm a crab!

6. My wife got off the bus and told me that she didn't know the way. I said take a picture of me and I'll see where it is. When I opened the photo, I took a selfie and didn't see anything related to the road. From this, we can draw a conclusion: my wife is not a road idiot, and she is still mentally retarded!

7. The conductor was checking the ticket. When I was near here, I stood up and ran to the car behind me. The conductor chased

three cars before catching up with me. She snapped at me: Where are the tickets? Take it out and let me check! I calmly took out my ticket for her to check. She asked again, why do you run when you have a ticket? I replied weakly: can't I run with a ticket? Besides, I didn't ask you to chase me! I just want to experience

the feeling that I haven't been chased by girls for p>28 years. Is it wrong?

8. I fell asleep on the bus after work at night, and my head tilted on my aunt's shoulder next to me. After a while, my aunt woke me up and said she wanted to get off. After my aunt left, a man behind me said to me: Dude, I guess you are going to get angry. When you were asleep, my aunt took selfies with you several times

ten times ...

9. The middle school math teacher once came to class after drinking too much, blushing, and gave us a lecture with great passion. One classmate whispered that the teacher was drunk and didn't want to be heard by the teacher. Teacher: Yes, teacher. Then he said: Let's look at this dish ... The whole class laughed ... 11. My brother in my hometown suddenly called me to borrow money. At that time, I asked him what the reason was. He said that his girlfriend was pregnant and now she still lacked money. I immediately became angry. Your girlfriend was pregnant and wanted to borrow money to abort the child. If a man, he should bear the responsibility! I won't borrow it! He added: Then you promised that I would marry your sister ... 11. Being rejected by Xiao Fang's parents, I resolutely chose to go out to work. Through my constant efforts, I became the director of a company, in charge of hundreds of employees. In order to make Xiao Fang's parents regret their decision, I drove an Audi with a price of

811,111 yuan to his house, and a Ferrari came from the back of the car. While wondering, Xiao Fang's parents opened the window: Hey, isn't this the poor boy? What can I say ...

12. Eating snacks and watching costume dramas at home, I saw a princess wrapped in a quilt by two people and carrying it to the bedroom. My little nephew seemed to want to talk, so I stopped: Don't ask, you will know these things when you grow up. He said: Aunt, if it were you, it would take

three people to carry it!