This is a joke about being stopped by the traffic police:

Chongqing traffic police stopped a motorcyclist, and the driver said, "They are all from Chongqing, so what's the face?".

The traffic police said, "Don't spare me, you are not from Chongqing."

The driver asked, "Do you think I'm not from Chongqing?"

The traffic police said, "You must admit it, and I'll show you a Chongqing one."

At this time, a man came by on a motorcycle, and the traffic police stopped the car with a wave of his hand.

As a result, the motorcycle flew by, and a sentence came from far away in the wind: "You ha p, come and chase after the labor!"

The traffic police turned to the driver just now and said, "See, it's Chongqing!"

about buying iPhone6plus

a young man from Chongqing accompanied his girl by a mobile phone shop, and the girl took a fancy to iPhone6plus.

The guy asked her, "Do you like it?"

she said, "yes!"

The young man said, "Watch it for a while if you like!"

They watched it from day to night.

The girl suddenly asked him, "Why don't you buy it for me when I like it?"

He replied, "People who are willing to spend money for you don't necessarily love you, but those who are willing to spend time with you are the ones who love you!"

The girl nodded with tears in her eyes and said, "I just like you Chongqing men. You can't get money, you can give up, you can cheat, and you can fucking do ideological work."

About buying a bag

Once I went shopping with my wife, she looked at a bag that cost more than 8,111 yuan. Don't leave anyway.

I'm short-tempered, and I'm an earwax.

My wife cried in an instant, and I was deaf again, and asked her, "Do you still want it?" After that, it's another ear shit.

the wife said distressfully, "I don't want it, okay?" Stop hitting each of you! Let's go, husband, I don't want it, you Chongqing men are too grumpy! "

About fish or fishing rod

A monk asked a Chongqing person, "Which do you choose, a fishing rod or a basket of fish?"

Answer: "I want a basket of fish."

The monk shook his head and smiled: "The benefactor is superficial. It is better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish. Do you understand this truth? The fish is gone after you eat it. You can catch a lot of fish with a fishing rod and use it for a lifetime! "

Chongqing people added calmly and disdainfully, "I want a basket of fish and sell it. I can buy some fishing rods and a pair of mahjong. Then rent the fishing rod to others, collect the rent, and then invite them to play mahjong while fishing, and they can also pump money ... "

Monk:" Amitabha, I don't want to talk to you Chongqing people. "

about sparrows and crows

Sparrows and crows form a dragon gate array together.

The sparrow said, "What kind of bird are you?"

The crow said, "I am Phoenix Thine!"

The sparrow said, "How can there be a phoenix as black as your turtle son?"

The crow said, "You know a shovel. I am the phoenix sulfur that burns the boiler."

About selling insurance

I just received a phone call: "Hello!"

me: "Hello, who is this?"

"I'm from the insurance company. Do you drive?"

"I don't drive, the driver drives."

"where are you going?"

"On the way from Jiangbei to Yuzhong District."

"Is your car insured?"

"I think so. I'll ask later."

"How much is your car worth?"

"No, it's estimated to be several hundred million."

"eldest brother, what kind of car do you have?"

"light rail!"

bam, the phone hung up. Quite a temper. Am I wrong?

About shredded pork with fish flavor

A man from other provinces went into a restaurant in Chongqing and ordered a fish-flavored eggplant, so the following passage happened.

"boss, boss! !” .

"What's the matter?"

"Why didn't you get any fish from this fish-flavored eggplant?"

"Fish-flavored eggplant has no fish!"

"If you don't have fish, why do you call it fish-flavored eggplant?"

"Do as you say, if you want a tiger skin green pepper, do I have to get you a tiger skin? Order an old woman's cake, and I'll give you a wife? You order a couple of lung slices, don't I have to kill two people for you? !”

About practicing Qigong

Running in eling park in the morning,

Seeing an old man playing Tai Chi all his life is a bit good.

I asked him, "Grandpa, can you teach me how to play boxing?"

I stopped in my old life and told me with a smile, "Young man, you punch me first and I'll see what you can do."

wow, I'm afraid it's a test of my talent!

so I concentrated, and I must have cut.

Then, then ... The old man shouted for help all his life, but he couldn't afford to fall to the ground, and I was wronged by 5,111 yuan ...

Regarding whether to help

When I went out to see an uncle fall, I went over and asked, "Grandpa, my salary is 1,811 a month, can you help you get up?"

Grandpa: "Go, little boy. I'm waiting for a while to see if I can meet anyone over 3111."

me: "OK, thank you!"

Although the weather is cold, grandpa's words are warm and full of positive energy ...

After work at night, I found grandpa still there.

I asked him, "Grandpa, haven't you been lying in Ler all day?"

Grandpa said, "Little boy, please help him up. I'm not wrong. I'm going to leave this stupid place in Chongqing. The salary in this place is too low! ! !”