A 55-year-old uncle Zhang and his wife in Zhengzhou are both sanitation workers. They get up early and get greedy every day, and start working after 5: 00 in the morning. Recently, their daughter-in-law is going to have a baby, and his wife has to go home to take care of it, and grandpa is busier than before. 1 People have to work for two people and can't leave their posts at noon.

In order to save money, he changed the tricycle into a temporary kitchen and cooked some simple food by himself every day. Steamed bread and noodles are commonplace.

The old man has three sons. Strangely, all three children have no jobs. They usually live on the meager salary of the old couple. Every month before the old man gets paid, he starts asking him for money.

We don't know why the children of the elderly don't go to work, and it's not mentioned in the report, but why don't they go to work when there is a labor force? Is it because they are physically disabled or because they are not capable enough to find a job? If there are objective reasons, we feel excusable, but at this age, we still have to rely on our parents to survive and support the elderly at home. Can we live up to our parents who have raised us for many years?

At the age of doing things, I chose comfort, which reminds me what kind of ability our children should have in the future to survive in this society.

I saw a documentary about baby turtles broadcast by BBC.

This is the law of life and death elimination in nature. For us, this is not the case. Survival challenges always exist. If we want to settle down in a complex society, we may need to give our children another meaning of existence.

Parents nowadays are full of all kinds of anxiety. In particular, the phrase "don't lose at the starting line" has made many parents try their best to drag their children forward, but many of them follow suit. If you ask him where he wants to take their children, few people can make it clear.

Many times, I forget my way when I run, and I don't know the essence of education at all: let children have the ability to survive.

Why? The explanation given by the school is that life cannot take care of itself.

When he was an undergraduate, his mother took care of all the trivial matters of his children's lives. Her mother always thinks that everything in the world is inferior, only reading is high. As long as children can read, they can ignore anything.

Under this excessive "doting", Wei Yongkang is in her twenties, and she can't eat, dress and bathe without her mother. Really sad!

A person who lacks viability, even if he holds a diploma with high gold content, may eventually accomplish nothing.

A few days ago, I enrolled my child in an extracurricular Olympic math class. Considering that this is a well-known institution, I arrived one hour earlier than the registration time announced before.

Unexpectedly, nearly 200 parents have gathered at the scene. The front one is said to arrive at two or three in the middle of the night.

During the gap in the queue, many parents chat with each other around their children's hot issues. One of them is the mother of a 6-year-old child, who keeps sharing with you how she plans her child's life. I am curious. She arranged everything for the child, and the child didn't resist?

The mother said that it is not up to the child to agree or disagree. Now the competition is so fierce and the educational resources are tight. If you don't arrange it for him, it will be too late.

It is hard to imagine how such a child who has been arranged to live will survive in the future. They try their best to train their children to be what they expect, but in many cases, this kind of training rarely ends well for their children's future.

Either they annihilate children's creativity and make them tend to be mediocre, or they tend to resist and form rebellious psychology.

As parents, we often have to ask ourselves a question. What kind of abilities do our children need to grow up?

If children are usually neglected in discipline, they will easily become slack, tired and conservative, and fall into the "comfort zone". Over time, they will be confused and helpless.

To escape from the original "comfort zone", we must have a challenging goal, and when setting this goal, we must grasp two keys:

1. challenging

Step 2 be clear

Only based on the above two points, after building a good knowledge framework, you will know what knowledge and skills to learn, which can effectively avoid passive learning.

In the book "Personal Empowerment: Implicit Logic of Accelerating Growth in the New Era", the author once mentioned the gap model, the purpose of which is to enable individuals to quickly locate the gap and turn passive into active.

So what does this gap mean?

G: (Goal) Goal-driven: Set yourself a challenging goal to help you get out of your comfort zone.

A: (Accumulation) Active accumulation: Build your own knowledge system framework and precipitate your own experience more effectively.

P: (Practice) Deliberately practice: actively use the environment and deliberately practice what you have learned.

If you don't want your child to be mediocre and want him to get out of this state and grow up on his own initiative, then you can try the GAP model.

Remember, every child is an independent individual, please respect their own choices. Survival ability is not only the ability to take care of yourself and fight, but also the ability to adapt to society and be flexible. Sometimes, we even need to rely on our own wisdom and judgment to find a way out in a place where there is no road.

Different times and societies have different requirements for social viability. Nowadays, instead of forcing children to be top students who study hard, it is better to cultivate their independent thinking ability and moral knowledge.

Specifically, we can grasp the following three points:

First, create a suitable environment for children.

Kenichi Ohmae, a Japanese management guru, found that his two sons were not very keen on learning, but he didn't force them to study. He always emphasized that education is not a setting. He advocates that children should start from their own interests and understand why he is interested in it, and what is the reason or motivation.

So, he began to create a suitable environment for children.

In the end, the eldest son gave up his major in university and started his own business at the age of 20. Now he has become the operator of an online consulting company.

The youngest son, addicted to video games since childhood, has also been the director of a game company. Finally, he started his own business and went out of his own world.

Although they have ups and downs in their studies, they have finally gained a firm foothold because they all have the "viability". This heartfelt love gives them more passion to create life and more opportunities to grow through trial and error.

Therefore, knowledge is by no means unique. In addition to it, children's independent thinking ability, judgment, social skills, lifelong learning ability and other soft powers are the ability to build children's future survival.

As parents, at ordinary times, it is the key to give children more love and strength and let them have the ability to better adapt to the world.

Second, don't spoil children, be strict with them.

There is no doubt that every parent loves his children. However, there are many ways to love, and the most useless is to spoil. This kind of love can not only make children progress, but also make them fall into the honey pot and lose their judgment on themselves and society.

Spoiled children, after entering the society, have extremely poor survival ability, and improper parents' education will also cause children's personality problems.

Jews are recognized as people who pay more attention to children's education. After the children were born, a priest told them, "Children are the same product as them. You can't just raise him. It is your most important responsibility to cultivate and educate him. " "

Therefore, as parents, to educate their children well, they should be "hard" on their children appropriately.

A parent with strong educational goals and pertinence loves children. Just like Yu Dan's father, he understands that children must have certain requirements for their children if they want to get ahead. This is not only responsible for your children, but also for yourself.

It may bring some pain to children in the process of "cruelty", but it is necessary and inevitable. Since it is inevitable, it is better to bring this cruelty to the extreme, help children grow up better, and let children find some fun in this inevitable severity.

Third, cultivate children's ability of lifelong learning.

It is very important for children to keep studying. A really smart person can turn trivial things and situations into breakthroughs in thought and behavior. If the whole life is regarded as a school, then every experience of life is a lesson.

This experience is also divided into two parts:

1) useful part

2) useless parts

The benefits here refer to pushing you forward and making you more confident and handy; And useless, it means that it will embarrass you and degrade yourself.

As long as we can recognize these two aspects in every experience, we can consciously maximize the useful part and bypass or exclude the useless part.

Lifelong learning is to develop people's potential through a process of continuous support, which inspires and empowers people to acquire the required knowledge, value and skills.

I have seen a behavioral learning method, and its idea is that what kind of mentality there is, what kind of behavior there is. This behavioral learning method divides the learning atmosphere into three levels:

First of all, knowledge transfer means transferring your knowledge to others.

Second, skills training, such as speech skills;

Third, the training of mentality, such as expanding ideas and achieving goals.

In other words, parents should tell their children what they know, train their children in various skills, cultivate a good attitude and so on.

To sum up, as parents, the most important task is to give their children enough love and strength, so that they can better adapt to the world's survival ability and watch him travel with peace of mind, because giving him the ability to survive in this society is more important than anything else.