I've been in the bar for a long time, and I've always wanted to write something, but I don't know where to start. Let me introduce myself first. I was born in 1987 and grew up in a coastal city in the south at the age of 27. Is a person who grew up together before and after the domestic reform and opening-up. From the days when there were not many televisions in China to the days when televisions were all common household appliances, from cell phones, BBs, PHS to the days when iphone were everywhere, it brought us a lot of material and spiritual enjoyment with the improvement of living standards and the progress of science and technology! ! !

without further ado, let's get down to business now. Like many abstainers in the bar, ying has a heavy heart and can be said to be born with it. Since I didn't have to wear open-backed pants, my evil ying heart began to grow slowly. About 9 years old (1996), my sexual heart began to invade my own heart. When I often liked to peek at women's breasts, I remember that once in the vegetable market, because there were so many people, people crowded around. At that time, there was a woman wearing a skirt in front of me, and I followed her to squeeze away. How did I know that the evil ying heart was suddenly protruding and I didn't know where it came from? I gave her a hard twist on her hip, which scared her to shout loudly on the spot. I walked away pretending that I didn't do it. At that time, she looked at me, probably because I was still young, and she was wondering whether I did it or not. It's been many years, so I'm sorry to tell her here! I grew up with such an evil ying mentality! ! ! ! With the growth of my age, I often love sexual fantasies and the attractive female teachers in primary school, and play with my lower body when I just wake up in the morning! ! It was not until the second day of junior high school that I was 15 years old (because I entered school late) that I ushered in the first ejaculation in my life in 2112. That's how my life began to decline, and it also represented that the hell opened its doors to me and extended its hands to welcome me. . .

The first hand-masturbation ejaculation brought me surprises and inexplicable seconds of pleasure. I immediately indulged in the so-called "pleasure" of hand-masturbation, and it was inevitable for me to massage every day. Sometimes I massage two or three times a day, when I sleep, and when I get up in the morning, I will inevitably massage, which makes me unwilling to learn from high school before graduation. I don't have to work around my mother and have money to spend. Every day, I know how to ask my mother for money to surf the Internet. When is the Internet cafe prosperous? I play games on the all-night Internet every night, and sometimes I watch porn. When the last all-night Internet was 8 to 11 yuan a night, from 12 p.m. to 8 a.m., I had to slap before I went home to sleep in bed in the morning. Sometimes I held my hand for several times, but no semen came out. Only one gas was emitted. In the meantime, my family also asked me to go to work, but I didn't do it for a long time, and I stopped doing it for a month and a half. Later, my family asked me to join the army. However, due to my frequent hand ying staying up late, my health has not reached the standard, so I can't do it. Alas,,, a lifelong regret.

After that, I stayed up all night, surfed the Internet for a long time, played games for a long time, smoked, and used my hands frequently. My body began to show a series of medical conditions. My height has not grown since I was 15. Only one meter six, I became lean, my face was dull, yellow, dark, my eyes were dull, I was weak, like a dead wood, and I began to shrink. I was really short, thin and ugly. I think there were girls in my class who liked me that year! ! ! The most serious thing is that the big teeth of my teeth began to rot one by one, which made me often have toothache, alas. . My goodness! ! ! This is the most sunny and youthful time in my life. I was only a teenager at that time, which was the age when I grew up! ! ! ! This suicidal life changed a little when I was 22 years old in 2119, when I got along with a girl. However, it didn't last long before she fell in love with another man. After I ran into her in a bar, she immediately lost her mind and beat him on the spot. At that time, both sides had friends, and two groups of people beat outside the bar in the bar. But after I played for less than five minutes, my physical strength began to drop sharply, and my heart beat faster, my mouth and lips were chapped, I had difficulty breathing, my heart failed due to myocardial infarction, and I almost died. I quickly went away to hide, sat on the ground in a corner and watched them fight while exhaling. At this time, my brain was blank ... When I suddenly felt that my body was badly hurt, I was very frightened and flustered! ! ! !

after this situation, I began to realize that I was going to change, but I naively thought it was the problem of smoking too much, and I didn't fully realize the harm of hand ying, so I gave up smoking at once! ! ! This abstinence was very successful, except for a little addiction after waking up and after meals for the first two months. Up to now, I have no addiction at all, but I hate the smell of cigarettes! It may be that after a fight with me, I was given a profound lesson to have such motivation to succeed as soon as I quit smoking. It has been more than five years since I quit smoking. I believe I won't smoke again, because I really hate the smell of smoke now! ! ! By the year 2111, I still continued to be addicted to ying, but my body has begun to change. Since I quit smoking, my appetite has greatly increased. I often eat and drink violently every day. Although I stay up late, I start to surf the Internet less! After a while, my weight has grown to about 159 Jin. Becoming a short and obese person, walking is uncomfortable, and I have worn out some jeans. It hurts! ! ! ! ! Hand ying is addicted to it. . Doing nothing every day, like a loser, huddles in the room and watches porn, just like eating every day to become a habit. It seems necessary to have a massage every day. Prostatitis has appeared in my body, and a series of medical conditions such as urgent urination and frequent urination are afflicting me.

With the passage of time, I was 24 years old in 2111. During this year, my life changed greatly.

My good fortune seems to have come to ........... By a coincidence, I learned a craft, such as making cakes, food and catering. After I learned it, I raised money to open a shop, which exceeded my expectations. It was not long before I opened a second branch, and the business was still good. After the news spread, Soon all my friends and brothers around me will talk about opening a store together, so I found a few better ones and opened three more branches in a row. In less than a year, I owned five stores and bought a car. When I was just 24 years old, it was said that the young man was successful and the scenery was infinite! At the same time, the heart has also changed, and people have become arrogant and complacent! ! ! ! ! There is nothing wrong with the old ying that you are full of warmth and desire. . . Since I got money and a car, my popularity with women of the opposite sex has soared. I often know my sister WeChat everywhere (when WeChat just came out). On the Internet, I always know when I see someone who looks good. Every day, my mobile phone keeps ringing and I am very busy. If I don't have dinner with this sister, I will go to the movies with this sister every day! Going to a bar and getting off KTV is not enough. I have to go to Dongguan with my friends to find a young lady to continue evil ying, which has entered a crazy state! ! !

"Joy" is on all the time. . . Less than a year later, this "wonderful" life began to appear crisis. Because of my blind expansion of the pavement, a momentary fever, and poor management of all aspects of the staff, I spent money like running water without restraint. I only remembered that I was "dating" all day, and I didn't concentrate on it. Three of the five stores suffered losses every month, only two others were supporting it, and the daily expenses were very large. The manpower for laying and renting lamps, oil, fire and wax was calculated every second. In the second half of 2112, it was really untenable, so we had to transfer the shops one by one. In the process of transfer, we also buried a later one (the fuse that caused the transfer of shops to go to court because of economic disputes with others). Because things are complicated, I won't go into details here, but I am also a victim and have a great loss. It never rains but it pours . . Good luck has gone away from me, followed by waves of bad luck. Not long after the pavement was turned, once again, by chance, I switched the money from the shop to another friend to run the building materials decoration industry. Unfortunately, this time it was different. Good luck doesn't always come from inexperience. Various factors such as insufficient network closed down in less than half a year, and still owed a lot of debts. . . . The car was also sold to pay off debts. Alas. . . It's only been two years, and my life is so different. My heart is ying. I go to drink every day to get rid of my worries. When I go home, I watch porn and vent my anger. It's mid-2113, when my life is low, I met a girl, which is different from other girls. I felt very attached to her at first sight. I fell in love with her soon, and lived together, often indulging in it ... I thought it was a comfort to be frustrated in business and proud in love! ! But after more than three months together, she finally broke up with me. I cried on my rooftop the night we broke up. . I cried very sadly and convulsed, remembering the ups and downs of these two years, tears just couldn't help it. Life is like a play, and a play is like life. At this moment, I have a deep understanding of the word karma. . .

Business is gone, cars are gone, money is gone, love is gone, and "friends of pigs and dogs" are beginning to disappear. Which period of time is really difficult, I want to be suicidal, I want to end it, and I can't bear to look back. But the development of things is not just that simple. Because my girlfriend and I had serious sex before, even if I have a girlfriend, I still have hands! There are many medical conditions in my body, such as puffiness, edema, swollen eyes, impotence, premature ejaculation, thin hair, sore waist muscles, sore legs and low back pain after standing for a long time, frequent micturition at night, urgent micturition and frequent trips to the toilet at night. The most serious thing is that I have a symptom of diabetes (also called diabetes). At the beginning, I often feel thirsty and want to drink water. This is a serious loss of kidney yin and body fluid, and both yin and yang are deficient, and kidney failure and edema, viscera and organs are damaged. If it is serious, there will be stroke, dizziness, chest obstruction, deafness, blindness, numbness of limbs and gangrene of lower limbs. I began to feel scared, so I accidentally found it on the Internet. ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! When I opened it, I was shocked and quite frightened. I suddenly realized that I couldn't take my eyes off the contents. I feel very excited in my heart. Oh, my God! Many of the situations mentioned in it are similar to mine, and at this time I immediately realized that I must give up ying. Looking back, I have been ying for eleven years. It has poisoned my life for eleven years. I have suffered too much in these eleven years.

at this moment, I immediately realized that I must give up ying. During this week, I went to the Lue-abstaining Bar every day, and I didn't practice ying in this week. When I saw a group named "Lue-abstaining ying" on the website of Lue-abstaining Bar, I joined it and got to know the group owners. (Here, I sincerely thank the group owners' big brothers (Qiang) and (Zhengyi) for guiding me to learn Buddhist knowledge. Zhengyi is a very good one. At that time, the owner of the group sent me a lot of content related to abstinence, for example (the video about the harm of teacher Chen Dahui's pornography to modern people and the video about the education of sages in traditional culture), and I saw the video about the harm of pornography to modern people, in which a woman died of sexually transmitted diseases and cervical cancer because she was too indulgent when she was young, and I shed tears on the spot. After watching the whole video, I was quite shocked. I told myself that I couldn't be evil anymore. Must quit, in this month, I also repeatedly broke the precepts, and finally in October 2113, I was worthless until now! ! ! Of course, I have also experienced many lessons in the process of abstinence. In the month before I started to quit, I also repeatedly broke the precepts and suffered. Before each break, I told myself that this was the last time. This was the last time. I won't do it again in the future. It's just so repeated. Sometimes I break the precepts and feel disheartened, so I don't want to quit. Let ying control his left hand. I don't think I can quit successfully, so I want to give up. I realize that this is absolutely impossible. I intensified my study, kept reading the warning posts in the warning articles bar, and the flying warning was a good medicine. I also bought a lot of warning books online, such as Master Yin Guang's lust for the sea, Shou Kang's treasure-book, the ruthlessness of Yin law, Peng Xin's knowledge of traditional Chinese medicine, and the knowledge related to Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism in traditional culture. I also added a lot of Buddhist groups and learned Buddhist knowledge! After many aspects of practice and study, ying's heart was finally purified! There has been no hand ying, and the meaning of ying has become less! The diet is also relatively light, and meat is eaten less. After drinking a little Chinese medicine and doing exercise for about an hour in the evening, the diabetes gradually disappeared. Hair has also grown out, people have become much younger, they are full of gas, they are full of energy, they don't have to go up the stairs, and their weight has returned to normal, about 131 kg! No puffiness, no edema. Prostatitis is much better. Get up early and go to bed early every day, post it and publicize the color-abstinence group. It's really comfortable to be a manager in the ying group to help the new abstainers. ! ! Looking up at the sunshine in the sky, my heart was filled with emotion, and the days when ying was not evil were really beautiful. I really don't understand why I have been so addicted to ying in the past eleven years. It's so stupid and pathetic that you hurt your own body and your own bad body. I could have had a healthy and strong body and was completely destroyed by evil ying. I really regret it, my heart is twisted, and I hate myself too much.

From October, 2113 to July, 2114, I quit color and caution very well, and I didn't care much about ying. I thought I had succeeded, and I thought it was such a simple thing to quit color. At that time, I also wanted to learn from other quit friends and post a post on the post bar to promote it. . . But in August, the episode began to appear. Maybe it's also the test of ying's abstinence for half a year. In August, my calm mind of abstinence from color changed. It can be called (the period of abstinence from color, I call it the period of abstinence from color in Du Jie). Sometimes when I watch the news online, I often see some lace news, such as more explicit pictures, so I can't help but watch it. I stopped posting, stopped reading posts, stopped reading books on Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism, stopped listening to Buddhist songs, and (I used to listen to them every day) stopped speaking in the Q group, ignored them, and lost my heart. (This is called learning boredom period.) Almost everyone will have a flying brother who has also said this.) It seems that the foreplay of breaking the precepts has arrived, but I haven't fully realized that I have a great desire in this month. Often meaning ying, desire seems to have sprung up all at once! Ying demon still won't let me go, always tempting me, and the climax of breaking the precepts will eventually come, in a lift.