* * * Hot articles * * *
1. I heard that you can pay by brushing your face soon. I wonder which plastic surgery hospital in Shenzhen is good? I want to see the clouds. I don't know if it's ok.
2. I just set a new login password for the computer, and I entered: wodejj. Results System prompt: Error, the password is too short. Now I smashed the computer!
On the first day of his wife's disappearance, he found her at Lao Wang's house next door. His wife will never ask why he went to Lao Wang's house that day.
Spring is chilly, and a man's pleading cry came from a remote place in the park: "Big Brother, cut me some slack!" " Another older man calmly replied, "No!" "I'll give you the car?" "That won't do either!" "Brother, don't, brother ..." With the shrill cry, I saw the old man slowly raise his hand and put it down with a bang: "General!"
Someone asked me, "If I give you 1 million now, but you want your best friend * * *, will you?" "I thought about it and said," Yes, but can you give me more? ""isn't 1 million enough for you? " "No, I mean shit. "
6. I was asked that Iron Man and Spider-Man are both superheroes. What's their difference?
7. A: Iron Man can have as much money as he wants, and Spider-Man can have as much money as he wants.
8. Both the mobile phone and the charger love each other deeply and have never been apart. Only this time the host was on a business trip, he only brought his mobile phone and forgot the charger. When he came back, the phone burst into tears when he saw the charger: "I'm sorry, dear, I was killed by another charger during the time I left you ..."
9. I quarreled with my girlfriend during the Cold War. At noon, the girl QQ shook me and sent a ∑. I was puzzled and embarrassed to ask her what it meant, so I copied and posted it and asked all my friends what it was. A cousin's simple and powerful answer, this thing means automatic summation in Excel.
10. How can two thousand dollars get a girl? Scheme 1. 1500 yuan buys a mobile phone for her sister, stays in 500 yuan for dinner and a room, and rides a battery car to find her sister. My sister said: you are a good person, but we are really not suitable. Scheme 2.700 yuan to rent a BMW5, 300 yuan bought 99 roses in the wholesale market, 100 yuan told my sister that she liked to go to romantic snack bars hand in hand, so my sister slept with him that night, and it was because of love. . . . Scheme 2 tells us that the charm of business model is everywhere.
* * * Classic * * *
1. Dad wants to dye his hair black because he has too much white hair. I immediately objected. I said that dyeing hair is very harmful to his hair, which contains many harmful substances that are not good for his health. It is normal for him to have white hair when he is old, so he has to let it go. Under my strong opposition, my father finally gave up, and now I feel very gratified. Who told me that I wanted to dye my blonde hair in junior high school? He strongly disagreed. Hehe, electrocution has been reported.
On the subway, I saw a girl dressed sexy and beautiful, which made me have wild ideas. So, after a fierce ideological struggle, I finally got up the courage and remembered it boldly.
3. "Hello, I'm an off-road vehicle. What kind of car are you? " "I am a truck." "Speak well! Sell your sister's cuteness! 」
With a cigarette in his mouth, he approached the boy step by step: "You have been following me for months. The boy panicked: "I am not a bad person! He dusted his cigarette: "But I am a bad person." The boy's heart was pounding: "Don't come over … I, I, I have a gun …" He stamped out the cigarette butt and pushed the boy into the corner: "Come on, I'll leave without shooting. The boy closed his eyes, gritted his teeth, took his hand out of his pocket and poked his finger at his heart: "biubiubiu"
5. At the door of obstetrics and gynecology operating room, the wife held her husband's hand nervously. "Husband, do you like boys or girls?" The husband calmly said, "I like both." If it's a girl, I'll pay for your online shopping. If it is a boy, then we will pay for your online shopping together! " "
6. Men find shaving troublesome. Women find makeup troublesome. It's amazing that a fake mother can accomplish these two things every day.
7. "In order to get my husband to agree to buy a bag, my mouth is worn out." "For a long time?" "No."
8. A puppy saw a wolf, rushed up and hugged it, desperately calling for his father. The wolf was at a loss: "son, I think you are mistaken." I am not your father. " Dog: "You are! They all call me a German shepherd! " Wolf: "Did I really ... kill a dog?"
9. Prison This is a collection of twelve constellations Guo Meimei-Aries, Lee-Taurus,-Gemini, Cancer, Zhang Mo-Lion, Switzerland-Libra,-Scorpio,-Sagittarius, Yin-Aquarius and Cairn-Pisces. I feel that this is actually a constellation escape. Virgo Wang Xuebing has just been captured, leaving only one Capricorn. This is to make up the twelve constellations in the park!
10. My daughter-in-law farted in front of me and I almost fainted. Ask the daughter-in-law: "What are you eating? Can you fart like this? " The daughter-in-law said, "What? Do you still want the formula? " . .
* * * Selected Articles * * *
1. Although the content that the previous generation liked to forward was mostly health preservation, the values were hidden in those widely spread topics. Basically, * * * has two types: "no loss" and "taking advantage". Actually, it seems to be a kind of * * *. Give a few examples: seven sentences worth tens of millions, cheats that you will lose a lot if you don't keep in good health, cheats that you can cure diseases without spending money, and quick grab of Didi coupons …
2. tender model a, after receiving any package, will take photos and send ins to thank her boyfriend, a typical Barbie; Tender model B has a delicate mind, and every time she receives a gift, she casually shows it in the form of street shooting. Various solo flights create an independent, independent and beautiful atmosphere. As a result, A's boyfriend is not as good as one, and B's conditions are better than before. Finally, he got married seriously and jumped out of the vicious competitive environment of sleeping all night.
3. Jingxing * * * Li, Heyin * * *, Huxing * * * and the article * * * were cheated. The capital, the magic capital, is poisonous in the south and yellow in the north.
4. Today is March 8 Women's Day. The wife said that women don't have to do anything on this day, and what they usually have to do is what their husbands do. I think it makes sense, so I spent an hour on makeup, spent three hours online shopping, and then stayed in bed and watched Korean dramas all afternoon.
The new boss is from Fujian, young and handsome. Today, he called me to my office and said to me, "Xiaoli, I want a cactus, which is yellow." I was confused at that time. What the hell is yellow paste color? Is it shit color? Cactus is not like this! We argued for a long time, and finally he couldn't help but open the curtains and put on sunglasses, pointing to the sun and saying, "Fairy! People! Palm! Ah! Yellow! Paste! Color! Yes! "
6. "Jupiter Up": The little girl who brushed the toilet went through all the hardships to own the earth and continued to brush the toilet. This film reveals a profound truth, that is, even if you win the lottery, you are still a diaosi.
7. If your husband's monthly pocket money is around 1 10,000, you can call yourself this palace! About 6 thousand is a noble person! Around 4 thousand, all the time! About two thousand is a promise! 1 thousand or even more than 500 are maids! I can only feel sorry for my family if I earn money and spend it myself! Now you know where you are! Ladies, please sit down! It's nothing. What else have you had with him? Get out of the palace! Economic independence is Wu Zetian, who can call herself me.
8. I have a straight boyfriend. Once, he was not going to have a party in front of his girlfriend. Her girlfriend didn't say anything at the time, but she remembered the location of the document firmly. Then she secretly deleted all the films. As a result, they had a long cold war. I have a gay friends who took a USB flash drive to my computer and copied dozens of G films, and gave them to my boyfriend as a birthday present. As a result, her boyfriend was moved to tears. When these two true stories are put together, it clearly shows how to fall in love with different sexes.
9. It is not a crime for a man to cry, but a sissy.
10. What does the metaphysical concept of "Feng Shui" mean? According to its characteristics: invisible, colorless and tasteless; Affected by the placement of furniture; Good or bad directly affects the quality of life. We can easily conclude that Feng Shui =WiFi signal.