1. The teacher asked: How can you tell an octopus's hands from its feet? One student replied: Give it a fart to smell, it's the hands that will cover your nose, and the others are your feet!

2. Waiter: The pace of life in modern society is getting faster and faster. In fact, we can completely slow down and enjoy life ... The manager replied: Don't play the fool for me. You have reason not to serve food for a long time.

3. I wanted to fart in the meeting, but I was afraid of being heard, so I deliberately dragged the chair to make a noise. As a result, I accidentally fell down and farted. The little friend looked at it with questioning eyes and whispered: Is your fart too fierce? It shook you to the ground!

4. A female colleague gave birth to a daughter, so we have to ask everyone for a good name in the office! A: The word "light" is excellent. Fire and water intersect and Yin and Yang help each other, but it is indifferent in the depths! B: What if his father's surname is Ji? C: What if his father's surname is Gou? This woman is furious: get out of here, my husband's surname is Cao ...

5. When I was a child, I hated the teacher asking parents to sign the exam paper after the exam, and I always tore off a corner of the exam paper. Let my father show his signature, and then stick it back on the examination paper. When the teacher asked, he said that he had been beaten by his father ... Today, my son also brought me a piece of paper to show his autograph, and I gave him a beating directly. After the appraisal, it was definitely his own.

6. The bird flu is quite serious recently. There is a carnivore in the dormitory who hasn't eaten meat for many days. One day, he went back to the dormitory and saw this product put in the chicken soup he bought ... Radix Isatidis ... Radix Isatidis! How can I have such a wonderful roommate?

7. Just now, I was dancing in a disco, and a man said to a woman, Honey, marry me. The woman said, I want you to marry me in a big sedan chair. Then the man ran away. After a while, a waiter ran over and said, Miss, a gentleman shouted at the bar to marry you.

8. When I was a child, I was ready to be beaten, and then my father looked at me with fire in his eyes. I was impatient and said, I have work to do if I want to fight quickly! Dad hey hey smiled: smelly boy, this virtue is really like me, ok, go play!

9. Leader: Look at Xiao Li. She just got married and left her wife to work. Everyone should learn this dedication. Let's ask Xiao Li to talk about her feelings. Xiao Li: Actually, it's nothing else. We always quarrel together.

11. In the hard sleeper of the train, a policeman looked solemn, and he carefully inspected every berth. I thought, is there anything wrong with the train? At the moment when the lightning flashed, his eyes lit up and he rushed forward and said, Elder sister, let me tear some toilet paper ... Thank you ...

11. I drank a little too much with some buddies. In the middle of the night, I came home in a daze, and the pretending mode was still on, yelling at my wife: pour me some water! Hey, don't say, my daughter-in-law is quite obedient, but the water is a little cold and a little too much, which makes me tremble.

12. In the psychiatric department of the hospital, the doctor asked a schizophrenic: What is your weight? A: I weigh as much as I am happy. Ask again: Are you allergic to any drugs? A: Yes, I am allergic to regret medicine!

13. Kaifeng organized a barbecue. Zhan Zhao: I'll take care of the meat. Gongsun Ce: I'll take the barbecue. Dynasty: I'll take the dip. Bao Zheng asked cheerfully: What does this house include? Gongsun Ce said: Of course, it's wrapped in black charcoal.

14. I still have a stomachache after listening to the conversation between two neighbors' father and son today. Xiong Haizi: Dad, when I grow up and have money, I will buy a plane and fly you to work every day. His father immediately scolded: you have money to buy a plane! And let me go to work. Do you believe it or not?