On one occasion, the Buddha traveled to the city of Shehui, the capital of the Marital Kingdom, and stayed in the Garden of Only Trees for Solitude on the southern outskirts of the city. On this day, a young Brahmin came, and because he was dissatisfied that his brother had followed the Buddha into the monkhood, he abused him in the Buddha's presence, in fierce words and with great indignation. The Buddha quietly listened to the young brahmin's abusive outbursts before asking the young brahmin, "Brahmin, have you ever had friends or relatives come to your house? Have you ever had the experience of friends and relatives visiting your home?" "Yes, Gautama! So what?" "Brahmin! Have you ever prepared a meal to serve your friends and relatives who visit you?" "Yes, Gautama!" "Brahmin! If they don't eat the food you prepare, then who gets the food you prepare?" "Gautama! If they don't eat it, then of course it goes to me." "That's right, Brahmin! You came to me and insulted me, and I didn't accept it, so to whom do you attribute the insults you just hurled at me?" "Gautama! Though you did not accept it, I have given it to you." "Brahmin! Without my acceptance, how can you give?" "Gautama! So tell me, what is receiving? What is giving? What is not receiving? What is not giving?" [Brahman! If you scold me, and I return the scolding; if you are angry with me, and I am angry with you; if you hit me, and I hit you back; if you fight me, and I fight back, this is having received and accomplishing giving. On the contrary, if one does not respond to abuse with abuse; anger with anger; fists with fists; and fights with fights; this is not receiving and does not establish giving." "Gautama! I have heard from our virtuous Brahmin elders of yore that K???a, Arahant, and Equanimity do not get angry or moved to anger in the face of angry insults from others. And now, are you angry and moved to anger?" At this point, the Buddha replied, "What else would make a person whose anger is forever broken get angry? You should understand that a person who is good at self-control and lives righteously does not have anger, let alone a liberated person who lives wholly in accordance with right wisdom and righteousness! To respond to anger with anger is a bad person and a bad thing; the person who does not respond to anger with anger wins the hardest battles. Because he not only understands why the other person is angry, but he can also calm himself and raise positive thoughts, not only overcoming the other person, but also overcoming himself, so that he and he can benefit, and he is a good healer for both sides. If anyone thinks that such a person is a fool, he is just an ignorant person who does not understand the Dharma. No anger is better than anger; good deeds are better than bad; giving is better than stinginess; honesty is better than delusion. Sage people do not move to anger, nor do they have harmful thoughts, but evil people cling to anger, but it is as difficult to loosen as a mountain. The angered mind is like a wildly running horse; a wildly running horse has to be controlled by the reins, but the reins that control the wildly running horse are far inferior to the power of mediation that can control the heart! That is why I say that the best mediator in the world is not the one who holds the reins to control the horse."