Connotation Jokes

The city set deep, I want to go back to the countryside. Some classic connotation jokes paragraph can make people laugh, let you go sad when you are not happy. Below is the classic connotation jokes I organize for you all the relevant information, for your reference!

connotation jokes Part 1

1, remember when the university, to the end of the month, we are poor, roommate tangled half a day decided to save money for dinner and I went out on the overnight network, midnight when I bought a bucket of noodles to eat, suddenly felt next to two green light stare, roommate leisurely said a sentence, to give me a mouthful of soup, well..... The soup, I had to give him a lot of reluctance to say: be careful, do not pick the face.

2, buddy talked about his divorce encounter. The two mouths are arguing, his daughter-in-law in a hurry, shouting: "can not live, on the divorce!" , buddy was also in the air, without hesitation, a glare: "Leaving on leaving, who is afraid of who!" The two of them pushed and shoved. So, the two people pushed and shoved, pulling and tugging to the Civil Affairs Bureau, the speed of the relevant procedures, wait until the most critical signing of the two sides of the ring, his daughter-in-law picked up the pen to do it, buddies terrified, huffing and puffing out of the cold sweat, and said that this time to play a big one. Is ready to bend the knee and beg for forgiveness. Suddenly, his daughter-in-law snapped a pen thrown to the side, wow on the cry: "wow, you a fool ah, you do not know to coax me ah, you do not know that the woman is angry to say is not true ah, wow" buddy wiped the head of the cold sweat, long out of breath.

3 Yesterday, my dad came to the company to pick me up from work after a 10-mile detour. I feel sorry for him and said: "Dad, I'll take the car home on my own, do not have to go around the road to pick me up." Dad kindly said: "In Dad's eyes, you are always a little girl, Dad to protect you!" At this moment, I felt warm in my heart... To the door of the house, Dad trembling grabbed my hand and said: "Children, now is the time for you to repay the favor, must protect Dad!" Push open the door, when I saw my mom's murderous face, I immediately understood that Dad must have offended Mom again.

4, the wife engaged in family health to get a little tired! So, in the family small blackboard wrote down "family health, everyone is responsible for" eight words. At noon, the son after school, the word plus a cross, the wife found on the blackboard became "family health, adults are responsible for". In the evening, the husband after work, and add a cross, the wife found that the blackboard became "family health, Mrs. Responsible".

5, once in the Internet cafe to play legend, girlfriends go to my house to find me, see me not in the nephew with me to the Internet cafe to find me to get off the machine and they went to dinner, was teaming up to play monsters, I refused. Just see girlfriends a pat nephew butt, nephew pull neck shout: "Mom I'm hungry, I want to eat." Later, the boss of the Internet cafe and YY voice teammates have advised me to take the child to eat.

Inside jokes Part 2

1, yesterday for the first time to take his girlfriend home, his girlfriend is very beautiful, but also very hardworking, Dad to smoke, she picked up the lighter busy to the Dad to light cigarettes, but also to the Dad poured the wine ...... Dad a happy to take out 1,000 dollars, said the first time to give a gift to the meeting, the girlfriend took over the money, and said thank you, boss, boss, the boss. The board ......

2, yesterday on the train to the toilet, a lot of people lined up, finally came to me, from the inside out of a pretty girl, came out and threw his hands, threw to my face a drop of water, I didn't care, the key to the toilet after I froze and didn't find the water pipe.

3, take the bus home, next to the young woman figure that fire ah with a 3-year-old doll, paralyzed by more than a hundred kilometers of crying! I said: Sister, you feed some milk, are crying like this! Looking around the buddies cast approving glances, I think I did the right thing!

4, once I went to the bathroom, just cleaning sister in the mopping. I: "Ya, is dragging (off) it?" I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it. Me: "Oops, it's so clean, I'm embarrassed to be on it." Sister: "It's okay, you go ahead, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, come in." Me: "Then I'm welcome." Sister: "It's okay. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that, but I'm sure you're going to be able to do it."

5, a person at work to eat instant noodles, eat the gum in a hurry, accidentally swallowed the gum, he was worried. Fear of chewing gum sticking in the stomach discharge. Colleagues comforted him and said, "It's okay, I'm sure it can be discharged, but I'm afraid." The man asked anxiously, "What are you afraid of?" The colleague said: "I'm afraid of farting 'when a bubble popped up.

6, daughter-in-law nothing to play with her husband's cell phone accidentally fell! Cell phone shell battery fell out! There are 100 dollars hidden inside! Daughter-in-law looked at her husband and said: explain it! Hubby panicked and said: My God :::: phone bill are fucking fall out la!

7, a female student and his father to buy a cell phone, the girl insisted on buying Apple 6, the father was sad at the side of the smoke. In the end, even the staff can't stand it, couldn't help but go forward to persuade: Mr., this place can't smoke.

8, where in my circle of friends to open store to sell clothes, sell shoes, sell bags, sell watches, sell masks, sell daily necessities, sell Makai, and sell Meng ...... bosses, has been the end of the year, rent trouble you on time to pay, thank you for your cooperation! I'm not easy to endure for a year!

9, his wife is a woman, one day off the wind back home into the door shouted: "Husband, I'm back, today the bus encountered a thief, from my side of a I found my phone is gone, haha! So I got off the bus I chased him two stops ah, caught after a beating, but he refused to admit that he turned over his whole body did not find my Nokia, the thief cried and begged me to say, sister, otherwise these phones you can pick one it so I took an Apple 6 back." I was shocked and said: "wife, you do not have a cell phone today ah, this Nokia is not on the coffee table it ......

10, a man invited a few classmates to go to the hotel where they often eat. Hotel boss asked: "wife did not come today?" A female classmate slapped the table and yelled: "My mother is his wife! Who is the woman you are talking about?" The boss panicked and went out. The whole table burst out laughing, the male embarrassment asked her why she made such a joke, the female student said: "You just wait for the discount." After the meal to check out, the boss apologized and said: "I really do not know before you take a lover, told my sister-in-law that I recognized the wrong person, this meal is my treat, I'm sorry!

Inside Jokes Part 3

1, chasing and beating

"How do you think about the incident of the old man chasing and beating the young man on the bus?"

"The first time I heard that paid players can not beat free players!"

2, ranking

Friends of the daughter of a private school, no matter how hard rankings are in the middle, especially the top three or four in the grade are in the same dormitory, and feel more tormented, even produced an inferiority complex.

The friend communicated with the classroom teacher and played an important role: her daughter finally regained her confidence, and her ranking rose to the upper middle - since the original good class was replaced by a poor class.

3. Inspirational

A very inspirational thing: There was a male student who liked a female student.

The male students are a bit fat, in order to chase the girl, only eat a bun every day, crazy fitness, a vacation down, thin simply become another person.

Later, he finally dared to confess to the girl, the girl said: "I don't like you even if you are thin."

4, efforts

Girlfriend said I got into graduate school to marry me, I was starry-eyed and vomiting, over the line admitted, and then dumped by his girlfriend, said I did not work.

At that time, I was just laughed at, I graduate school I will not have a job?

Turn around and graduate for half a year, I really did not find a job.

5, forced

Read a survey, said "girls were forced by the boys but very happy thing", the top few include "strong kiss", "hard to embrace", "take out on a date and hug". The first few include "strong kiss", "hard hug", "take out on a date and force all the schedule", "hold hands tightly", "vigorously grasp the arm to take away", "wall thud ".

Then I did what I was told and got arrested by the police.

6, apologize

Walking in the neighborhood park, see an older woman with a child so cute, went to tease.

The child's head turned: "Auntie is ugly!"

The aunt gave the child a slap: "Apologize to the aunt! How can you talk like that?"

The child cried: "Auntie, you are so beautiful!"

The woman slapped him again: "Apologize! Who told you to lie?"

7, distribution

Couples go to court for divorce. Judge: "You have three children, how are you going to divide them?"

The two discussed for a long time, the husband: "This is good, we will have another one next year and then come back."

9 months later, the wife gave birth to twins.

8, fake

Six months ago, one day, the boss is not in the company, I accidentally broke the purple clay pot on his desk.

I rushed outside, more than three hundred dollars to buy an identical back.

Today, when chatting, the boss pointed to the teapot and said: "I can not imagine that this dozens of dollars of ground goods are quite good."

9, touch porcelain

Walking back to the unit, a car in front of me to turn around, I intend to pass in front of him.

Embarrassing scene happened, just like people let people: he thought I was going to go when I thought he was going to go, they stopped. I thought I was going to stop when he thought I was going to stop, so I moved forward.

A few rounds down, the driver rolled down the window and said: "Brother, please let me go, I'm just a Charley ah!"

Classic connotation joke paragraph selection

10, reason

Xiaoming late for class, the teacher asked: "What did you do?"

Xiaoming: "Just arrived at school with a stomachache, went to the toilet."

Teacher: "Really?"

Xiaoming: "If you don't believe me, go to the toilet and look, the shit is still there."

11. Dependence

"It seems that fewer people criticize cell phone dependence in recent times?"

"They're all busy playing with their phones, who has the time to care about that?"

12, the feeling

Love cooking, like the kind of serious preparation of materials, careful mixing, frying and smothering after cooking to make a pile of shit feeling, just like my life.

13, tragedy

decades of hard work, but also in the Red Alert 500 dollars an engineer, 50 dollars a dog bites a piece of the kind of death, a G.I. Raiders killed a piece of the kind of death, a Tank crushed a piece of the kind of death.

As long as he enters an industry, or laboratory, or factory, or military camp, or oil field, or repair bridges and roads, he will be enslaved there for the rest of his life. It's sad.

14, the truth

Buddhism believes that those who do not believe in Buddhism, good deeds can only have good rewards, can not be a positive result, and the highest level of good deeds is to give alms and preaching.

Christianity believes that all glory goes to the Lord, and that father and mother are not as dear as the Savior.

So there is a lot of truth to the idea that Sakyamuni and Jesus Christ were all Koreans, otherwise you can't explain why all three major religions coincidentally believe that all good deeds have to be counted on them.

15, abusive dog

Just saw a young couple on the street, the two wrapped around a scarf show love abusive dog.

As a single dog, I pretended to look at the phone, from the two of them in the middle of the hard through the past...

The classic connotation joke paragraph recommended

16, describe

An anorectal surgeon's daily observation, can be described as "a variety of".

17, courier

To go downstairs to the security room to get express delivery, just to the door, I heard the security Wang sighed and colleagues said: "Winter is coming, the scenery is not beautiful."

I could not help but secretly praise his taste. He said, "Look at this monitor, there are no girls wearing underwear to the corridor to throw garbage."

18, robbery

The robbers forced the girl to the corner, took out the knife in front of the paddling, the girl was so scared that she cried out.

The robbers put the knife away and said: "You go, you are the first girl to cry for me."

19, arrogant

Buddy working in a factory, to resign, the boss had to the end of the year to let him go.

So this witty young man, went to shave a particularly exaggerated airplane head, but also the top of the handful of hair dyed blonde.

The next day he went to work, the boss looked at him this look, said to him: "No need to the end of the year you can go now."

He was happy to go back to the dormitory, the road because the hair is too arrogant by a few punks beaten into the hospital.

20, culture

I have worked in the corporate culture of the healthiest company, is there a year on the shift, never heard the word "corporate culture", simply feel that the mood of the work there is not bad.

21, scammers

"I was cheated out of 3,000 dollars!"

"Didn't report it to the police station?"

"Went, the police said less than 5000 can not be filed!"

"Then forget it?"

"How can I forget it! I gave the scammer another 2,000 dollars!"

"So file a case?"

"No! The scammer called me back another dollar!"

22, the difference

Every day when your cell phone battery remaining 5%, you will be terrified.

Every year, with 5% of your time remaining, you revise your plans and motivate yourself to "do better next year".

23. Specialties

Apple does things that other companies don't do.

That's queuing up to buy and queuing up to fix.

24. Bottom line

Originally, people had a bottom line, until some realized that the bottom line could be exchanged for money.

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