With regard to blind date, I have always emphasized that blind date can't be regarded as a utilitarian meeting. If you regard blind date as purely utilitarian, then meeting will have the meaning of doing business.

This disadvantage is also obvious, that is, it is too realistic, only comparing the conditions, and you can't get a deeper understanding, which is not conducive to the construction of feelings and the deepening of relationships. Even if such a blind date is successful, it can't last long, because you regard blind date as an out-and-out transaction from beginning to end, and so does the subsequent marriage.

it doesn't matter what kind of love is, whether it is active or passive, whether it is a long time or not, whether it is a free love or a blind date. What matters is feelings.

Marriage is based on feelings. Although material and conditions are important, they are not as big as friendship. Many people will think that love is no longer useful, and there is no bread. It is better if there is love, but if you can only choose one of the two, then bread is undoubtedly the most realistic and beneficial choice for your life. But please think about it carefully. Are you short-sighted? There can be more bread, but once love is missed, maybe this one will be a lifetime.

If you choose bread, you really have countless breads. With the guarantee of life, people's desires will also increase, and they will feel warm and homesick. Their inner desire for feelings will make it easier for people to betray their unfeeling partners. Then everything will return to the end after going around in circles.

Actually, I just hope that everyone can understand a truth when dating. Conditions are important, but it is not the only thing that matters. Feelings are. Only material marriage is sad, because this is a modern version of "living together", living a life of seeing the head at a glance.

Don't be utilitarian about marriage, and don't test a person with temptation. What you get with unreasonable temptation can only be unreasonable, and the beholder can see clearly. Maybe you think your proposal is reasonable, and temptation is only to explore the other person's foundation and strength, but in fact, your behavior will only let the other person see your narrow and small pattern. Remind everyone, don't be clever when dating, play with caution, and don't accidentally become a wonderful "gold-worshipping blind date girl" in others' mouths and become a blind date nail house.

You should understand that you can exchange your sincerity with your sincerity, or you can be honest. Blind date is not impossible. You must be as cunning and sincere as the sword in Huashan. Maybe you will find that blind date is not that difficult.

I received a lot of private messages during this period, and one of them caught my attention. A girl complained to me that her blind date path was not smooth. Although she felt that her conditions were good, she always met some wonderful blind date men, which made her very upset. But after hearing her question, Fang Yan was really helpless. I told her that if you keep holding the idea of dating now, even if you are active, you may not meet a "normal" and "suitable" man.

The girl's name is Xiao Lu. She is 29 years old. She was born in a remote town in a wealthy city in the south. Her family situation is average. Her father is a sailor. She is not rich, but she is well fed and warm. As for Xiao Lu's personal conditions, according to her, her appearance is above average, and her size and figure are also standard. When she was at school, she was also a little goddess-level figure with admirers.

However, her grades were not very good. After graduating from high school, she barely got into an undergraduate school. She didn't like studying, so she chose a career and fashion design at random. Probably every girl will have a dream of being a designer. When she was a child, she designed clothes for Barbie dolls and stole her mother's clothes to walk the catwalk. So did Xiaolu. She feels that she should choose a career she likes and easily realize her dream.

But what she didn't expect was that the ideal was full and the reality was skinny. Only when she really got in touch with her did she know that this career was quite different from what she imagined. Those complicated manual classes bored her, and she soon got bored.

After graduating from college, like many half-baked classmates, she didn't try to do her job at all, but went north to work in big cities. Because her major was not right and she didn't have a good diploma, she spent several years in Beijing. She was just an ordinary company employee, holding seven or eight thousand jobs, renting the cheapest low-rent housing, eating fully reduced takeout, and wearing either a certain style or high imitation goods.

Over the years, she has gradually lost her enthusiasm in her work, and has become a veteran in the workplace. She is getting older and older. Seeing that all her female colleagues have boyfriends to pick her up and ask for help, she gradually realizes that she should make plans for her future and find a good place to belong. Helpless, all the outstanding men who had pursued themselves around her were married and could not expand around her. In the end, she chose a blind date.

This girl is very clever, but she is a little too clever. No matter whether she is on a dating website, introduced by a friend, or matched by a dating company, she won't be 111% trusted.

"People's hearts are separated from their bellies. Can I believe someone by listening to their mouths move up and down and talking like a flower? Seeing is believing, but hearing is false. I am a pragmatic person. Unless I have really seen it, I will be skeptical. Not trusting is my self-protection. " It's true, listening to the three views is quite correct, but the way this girl thinks about it and finally chooses it is very incomprehensible.

"It's better to watch him do what he says. I'm sure I'll sound him out and talk about the truth and falsehood. It's really what it looks like, and it's not too late for me to develop further."

Xiao Lu thinks she is very smart. Every time she goes on a blind date, her eyes roll, and when men introduce themselves seriously on the opposite side, Xiao Lu also nods frequently to show her approval, but in fact she doesn't believe anything in her heart. She always puts forward some tentative words or difficulties at random when the relationship between the two sides is getting better and better, to see how these men react. These temptations and difficulties are also aimed at finding out each other's material conditions.

On one occasion, she deliberately took out the lipstick that she had used for a long time and was about to see the bottom in front of men, carefully pulled it out with a lip brush bit by bit, and painstakingly showed it to boys. She also mentioned today's men intentionally or unintentionally. Anyone who is smart and energetic knows how to learn lipstick knowledge so as to buy lipstick for his girlfriend.

The man seemed to get the message, but after three days in a row, the man didn't say anything about the red capital. Xiaolu was very angry and immediately blacked out the man because he was too stingy to buy her a lipstick. Obviously, she had hinted clearly, or it was just a piece of wood, which was even more boring.

On another occasion, she asked the boy's aunt who worked abroad to buy herself a luxury bag. The boy promised simply, but refused to help her buy it. She blacked out the man again for the same reason, just because she thought the boy was stingy and boastful, which was not worth socializing with.

She is so decisive every time, and sometimes she humiliates each other in person. Most of them won't dispute with her, but some time ago, she met a hard stubble and got a rebuff.

The other day, she met a man surnamed Zhang on the Internet. The man expressed his affection for Xiaolu and wanted to ask the boy out to meet him. Xiaolu rummaged through the man's circle of friends and found that the man's circle of friends was very low-key, but he still revealed the shadow of his rich family, so he was secretly happy and agreed to the man's request.

When meeting the man, Xiao Lu decided to make an appointment in a high-end coffee shop, eating dessert and listening to the other person introduce herself. Xiao Lu, as usual, was deaf until both sides had a second cup of coffee, and Xiao Lu couldn't sit still. She seemed to inadvertently mention the name of a high-end seafood buffet to the man, if there were any hints.

But the man seems to turn a deaf ear. He tells Xiaolu that there is a Sichuan restaurant that he is familiar with and tastes good, and suggests them to eat there. Xiaolu began to be unhappy from the bottom of her heart. It was obvious that she had hinted, but the man couldn't receive it, so Xiaolu hinted at each other even more crazily.

"How greasy Sichuan food is. I'm on a diet now. I can't eat those heavy flavors. It's not bad to change to something lighter and eat seafood. My favorite food is baked macaroni."

It seems that the blind date finally understood the meaning of Xiaolu's words, but he directly refused Xiaolu: "I ate at that self-help restaurant, but I don't want to eat today. If you want to eat, I'll take you to eat next time." However, Xiao Lu was importunate and adamant, and the man was unmoved. Xiao Lu finally broke out.

"It's obvious that you invited me out. Dating you is to give you face. One person is only 911 yuan, and a meal is only 1,811 yuan. If you refuse to treat me, you deserve to be single!"

The man was not angry, and looked at Xiaolu as if he was funny: "I am not too expensive, but you are not worth it. The first time we met, you chose the most expensive coffee shop in the city center, and now you want me to treat you to a seafood buffet of 911 people. Why should I give it to you to splurge?

yes, I invited you out, but did I force you out? You didn't volunteer, and when I was talking, it was obvious that you didn't listen carefully at all, because I am a very serious person. I like to look at each other and communicate deeply. Your eyes are not only looking at the table, watching the mobile phone and watching the dessert, but even picking your fingers, you just didn't glance at me seriously.

at that time, I thought that you might not be used to blind date or for other reasons, and I didn't think much about it. But when you first hinted at my family's self-help, I began to doubt it. When you insisted on going, I finally confirmed my inner thoughts. You are very material and just came with the conditions.

all my conditions are true, and I am not a stingy person, but my money is not blown by strong winds. I will give it to anyone who thinks it is worth it, but you don't deserve it, let alone deserve it.

even if this coffee is on me today, I was going to give you a bag, but it seems unnecessary. I should go, too. Bye. Oh, no, I don't think there is any reason for us to meet again. Bye. "

With that, the man left, leaving Xiaolu in the same place for a long time. She regretted it, but she also firmly believed that the man might just be making a fool of himself when he left, so as to shake himself. Even if he was really rich, he was a miser. As for the meal of more than 1,111 yuan, as for any man with wealth, he would not be so ungrateful. When a woman spoke, she would never refuse.

But these days, she always thought about what the man said to her before he left, but it couldn't get out of her mind, so she found me and told me this story.

when Xiao Lu talked about her past and blind date, her tone was as plain as possible, without any emotion, and her performance was very relaxed. However, from the square face, she could see that she had a lot of questions. Since the man refuted and questioned her, she had been shaken. On the one hand, she couldn't believe that she was the woman that the man said, on the other hand, she was confused that she always couldn't meet the right person, so she needed a listener to help her solve her doubts.

When I heard her story, I told her clearly that the man was right.

No matter what the reason, the temptation of one side will only lead to mutual temptation and deepening suspicion. It is really inappropriate for two people who have never met for the first time without masks to spend each other's money on their first blind date. From any angle, Xiaolu's blind date has gone too far.

but she obviously doesn't know what she did wrong and where she went wrong. She is material inside, and the blind date only thinks about the other side to test the other side's conditions, but she doesn't care at all in communication and skips it directly. What is this if it's not money worship?

This utilitarian heart will only make Xiaolu go further and further. No wonder she has never found the right person and always meets wonderful flowers, because the problem lies in herself. She is the one who is not suitable for the other party, and she is the wonderful flower in that blind date.

as I have stated many times above, although material is heavy, it is by no means the only important thing, and it is also the most important thing. It is really stupid to only look at material if you don't know each other at all, and don't confirm whether their three views match you or not, and don't know their personality.

At present, material things are really important, and they can also ensure the stability of marriage to a certain extent. But in the long run, if you want a long-term marriage, these seemingly empty things will play a greater role.

Being in the same bed with someone you don't love is destined to be strange bedfellows. Marriage will not become your insurance lock, but a shackle that binds you.

Girl, you should understand that marrying only material things is not luck but misfortune. Life is too long, and living with people you don't love is torture.

Don't wear colored glasses for blind date, and don't take material things so important that people can't see your value, and don't demean yourself. If you work hard enough, you can have not only material things, but also love, but you don't have to rely on others' charity to live these things, but on yourself.