Collection of classic quotations from Lao Luo 1
1. Lao Luo asked in class, "What are Japanese women's hobbies?" Someone below replied, "Make a movie! ! "Mr. Luo did Sarah laugh and said," can't you think of something good? So, what are the hobbies of Japanese men? " The following chorus: "Watch a movie! ! ! "
2. If 50% of ZG people are gay, the population problem will be solved.
3. The eyes are bloodshot, the veins on the forehead are exposed, and hair appears on the feet.
4. Where's Lao Luo? I don't know. Don't ask. It's gone anyway.
5. Note that Lao Luo has never had a younger brother!
6. Sometimes, I feel a little sick.
7. It's fucking annoying not to do 1000 push-ups a day!
8. At this moment, I quickly took out my notebook and wrote down my will.
9. Happy sadness.
Luo Yonghao, a teenager of 10. 13, witnessing a live black man at close range for the first time in my life!
1 1. Don't do this, or they will think you are lively.
12. Why? It's simple, because you are a water turtle and have never seen the world.
13. CCTV Spring Festival Gala is not for ordinary people. But parents have to watch. Son can't go home. Take vitamin B6 (used by pregnant women to prevent vomiting) first, and then sit in front of the TV.
14. I really envy you for meeting such a great teacher!
15. A real macho man dares to look directly at the bleak life.
16. Another characteristic of a macho man is that he hides when he cries.
17. What are pesticides used for? Is to help insects do eugenics. Better and better pesticides make bugs look like little Tai Sen. Encountering a bad pesticide is like raining in Mao Mao. Better yet, just take a shower. And these bugs are not idle when taking a bath, singing while washing: we are pests! We are pests! ?
18. Confucius is the most vulgar and mediocre. So it has been widely circulated. Like Lao zi Zhuangzi, it's so cool. Riding a donkey from a distance and wearing sunglasses. Walk past you. Then disappear in the distance, but you still think the sunglasses are behind him. That's so cool. What language can't express is Zen, which is the coolest. You can't realize it gradually, you can only realize it. The master is holding a stick. You ask
19.∶? What is Zen? Why haven't I realized it yet? Master went up and hit him on the head with a stick: then wake up! How many disciples were killed at that time? Some disciples are smart and get beaten, so? Ah, I see! ? So he went down the mountain to collect his apprentice, with a stick in his hand. The apprentice said that he didn't realize it, so he went up and hit him: then he realized it! How about a clever apprentice? You don't have to continue to wake up, and you don't have to be beaten. Just take a stick and go down the mountain to collect your apprentice. Do residential classes, punch-in classes, 12 weekly classes, 15 weekly classes?
20. Ancient poets went to brothels to fall in love.
2 1. I have only met Lao Yu and the Guangdong madman who recited the dictionary.
22. What is pear shape? Hmm? Why are you looking at me? My old Luo is a standard barrel figure!
23. This problem was unclear in New Oriental for many years, until you, Mr. Luo, joined New Oriental. Old teachers all told me: Lao Luo, you are really awesome! I quickly said, don't say that, I'm just standing on the shoulders of giants!
24. My grandmother was born in Guangxu, so don't marry a fart.
25. When a student asks Lao Yu a question, Lao Yu will tell him a story about his own struggle, so that all the students are moved and forget the question just now.
26. If 50% of the people in China are gay, the population problem will be solved.
Unfortunately, we became the neighbors of the rich wolf. The Japanese have been invading or preparing for aggression since ancient times. In his poor land, and there is no family planning, this is not to die! ? The Japanese have been brainwashed since childhood: it is right to go out and rob because of lack of resources. The Japanese are all very nice. Together, it is a nation with split personality and abnormal psychology. I also met some nice Japanese. But I will never be intimate with them. Why? I'm far-sighted. On the battlefield, I killed him without saying anything! Some students listened to my complaints after class, saying that I promoted anti-Japanese sentiment in class. Is this anti-Japanese sentiment? Now let me correct it. Not anti-Japanese sentiment. It's hatred for Japan! Remember it. Don't be wrong when complaining!
When I was in the boarding class, Lao Yu was not so busy now. Go up the mountain and give a mobilization speech to each student. At that time, Lao Yu was God in our hearts. One day I heard that Lao Yu was going to give a speech at night. So they all ran to the lecture hall early. Lao Yu came after dinner, picked up the receiver and said nothing, just a loud hiccup. How inappropriate. We were all stunned at that time, looked at each other, and our faces were full of dementia and happiness, saying, what an approachable hiccup! !
29. Deng Xiaoping was a man of the hour in American literature in the 20th century. Writing poetry is not recognized in America, so I went to England to hang out. Get ahead in Britain. And then I was reckless. He cursed America and wrote: Capitalism excludes poets. America is capitalism, isn't Britain? ! The mind is extremely confused, which is the sign of a poet. Later, e.p. began to study politics. What politics does the poet study? ! And he actually supported Mussolini and joined an anti-American radio station. He is passionate about China culture and has a morbid obsession with China culture. Translate all the works of Confucius into English. Crazy about China's food, I couldn't find a Chinese restaurant in Italy, so I was furious. Without Chinese restaurants, this country would be finished!
30. kiss a person's ass to a limited extent.
Lao Luo (Luo Yonghao)
Collection of Lao Luo's Classic Quotations II
1. Stupid instinct begins.
Lei Feng helped 6000 old ladies cross the street in his life.
I walked up and down, thinking hard about the fate of China.
Under the leadership of a madman, everyone is crazy. Politics is much more terrible than war.
5. Ni Ping must have participated in solving the problem.
Ah, it's time for bed and two cups of coffee. The intense life needs no explanation.
7. I swallowed a mouthful of bitter water, but it looked like a mouthful of saliva to her.
8. Wind. Cold wind. The wind is cold. ? Gu Long wrote this way to earn a manuscript fee (charged by line)
9. It's worse for children to fight than to develop.
10. For three years, I have developed!
1 1. I compare my personality with theirs!
12. Two tragedies of education in China: (1) Every school has a perverted middle-aged woman as the dean. (2) Every school has a lecherous male PE teacher, who lets boys play ball games and leads girls to play games.
13. This is not good for girls. Noisy can be noisy, noisy can not be noisy! What's the point of tattling?
14. After I arrived in New Oriental, I discouraged many old teachers.
15. If you are not good at math, you can still become the British Prime Minister (Churchill). If you can't, you can also go to Taiwan Province Province as a writer (Li Ao) or go to England to write poems (Xu Gang contacted). Of course, all of the above require a visa. That won't do. You can be a writer in China (Qian Zhongshu). I can be a teacher for the last time (Luo Yonghao). If you can't even teach, you can still be the principal.
16. This happened one year: Ni Ping said with a fake spring breeze: Today's party highlights the theme of the party. ? That's right. Make people blush! The idea is highly consistent with ETS! If she doesn't get 2400 on the GRE, she basically fails in vocabulary! (famous saying)
17. Dementia mental patients are the happiest. It has reached a very deep level and is in a high state every day. And do whatever you want: you are a fool, what are you afraid of! ? You can gain weight in vain and always be in a state of fresh air.
18. Politics is that there are no contradictions, and contradictions are created; Then solve the contradiction. In fact, it is to create hatred. There is a question in the math textbook of Palestinian primary schools: 7 Israeli prisoners of war were captured, 5 were killed, how many are left? There is no hope for a nation that instills hatred in mathematics.
19. Can you explain the misunderstanding? Never explain! There are only two things I can explain: my relatives misunderstood me. If I don't explain, they will be sad. The court misunderstood me. Except for these two, I never explain. Really tough, don't explain! Shit, even people like me are misunderstood. What else can you do?
20. My home is far from New Oriental, and I take a taxi at my door every day. Home is so remote, there are cars worse than Li Xia everywhere. I don't want to sit at all. One day I found a black Santana-a high-end car in our place. But when I look at the driver, I don't want to sit. He is black and thin, shriveled and short, and looks like a loser. I can't think whether I got on the bus or got on the bus. Only after I got on the bus did I find that this driver was unusual. As soon as he got on the bus, he immediately looked like a man? Keep stepping on the accelerator, only lightly, and never step on the brakes. I was surprised to find that? There is no traffic jam in Beijing! ? Whenever the red light and green light pass by, other cars have to give way. Full of guilty pleasure. The weather is really cool, and the shriveled figure has grown taller. But when he got off the bus, his eyes became timid again.
2 1. People are the most fucking hypocritical. You jumped off a cliff and killed yourself. When you see a person, you are angry with him. I got a beating when I went up, and then I was in a good mood. You don't want to die. You hugged him and yelled? Benefactor! ? And he jumped. The same is true of animals: the object of human torture is called benefactor. What? Help dogs. Like a bee. People worked hard for a year to make honey. Is it brewed for you? ! You went up to grab a drink, wiped your mouth and said, Ah, bee, you are really a hardworking elf! ? Shit, you bully people, you bully people, you are disgusting. It doesn't know. If you knew, you would vomit blood.
22. When the family was poor, there were four people sitting in the room with only a bag of semi-instant noodles. I haven't eaten. Here comes another man. The four of us regret it-why don't we eat early? The man said happily, today is Thanksgiving! Damn, there's nothing to eat. How do you feel? ! He said, let's go to church! We are not religious. What church are we going to? He said, alas, there is food in the church on Thanksgiving Day. We're going crazy. So five people rode three bicycles straight to the church. When we get there, there are really sweets and biscuits. Just go in. Let's go up and have a crazy meal. Nobody cares. So I left a good memory. The following Thanksgiving, we went to a buffet again! ! I had a nervous breakdown. Eat like a mad dog.