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How to improve your interpersonal skills
Five Skills on How to Improve Interpersonal Communication Ability

Interpersonal communication is necessary for people to transmit information and communicate their feelings. Whether a person likes it or not, he needs to get in touch with others and have certain interpersonal skills. The following are five skills collected by Bian Xiao to improve interpersonal skills, which I hope will help you.

Five Skills to Improve Interpersonal Communication Ability

First, avoid lying in interpersonal relationships. Lying in life is a contemptible behavior. Liars are not only despised by others, but also psychologically punished by themselves. Because, after lying, people will be flustered and can't sleep at night. This will cause brain dysfunction, lead to imbalance between excitement and inhibition, and cause nervous system diseases such as neurasthenia. Therefore, don't tell lies in the process of interpersonal communication.

Second, it is not appropriate to say too many compliments in communication. Although praise is necessary in life, it is good to stop. If you say disgusting compliments in interpersonal communication, it will make people feel contempt and disgust, which is not conducive to interpersonal communication. Seeking truth from facts and praising each other appropriately can create a warm, friendly, positive and enthusiastic communication atmosphere. Praise can be reciprocated by the same friendliness. If you can satisfy other people's human desires, know how to praise and be good at praising, then you will become a compassionate, understanding and attractive person. The excessive compliment in interpersonal communication is hard to hear, which not only lowers one's personality, but also can't get the recognition of the other party. Therefore, it is not appropriate to say too many compliments in interpersonal communication.

Third, laughter can enhance friendship. Happy laughter is not only beneficial to health, but also can enhance friendship, especially the laughter in conversation can achieve the effect that ordinary words can't. Laughter is a vivid expression. In communication with people, laughter is essential, and of course, laughter should be just right.

4. Look at the people around you with positive, positive, supportive and constructive eyes, be good at discovering and praising the advantages of others, compliment them appropriately when necessary, and accept their criticisms and suggestions happily. After being hurt by feelings, you can still communicate calmly. Apologize to others in time after touching their feelings. When someone disagrees with your point of view, you don't have to force others to accept it, and you don't have to feel angry. When you are wrong, you should bravely admit your mistake. Let others finish the dialogue before expressing your opinion. Listen carefully when others are talking.

Fifth, learn to listen when communicating. Pay attention to each other when listening, and don't be half-hearted and perfunctory; Find meaningful things from uninterested topics; Act according to circumstances, simply tell each other's content and their feelings; Don't be preconceived when you listen for the first time, and then look for the theme and main points after listening.

Three Suggestions on Interpersonal Communication

0 1, smile, what are you doing?

This was personally verified by the gentleman in the workplace. It only takes 7 days, and you can get the friendliness of an indifferent person.

I met a colleague in the workplace before. From the first day I joined the company, he seemed to dislike me. We've never met, and I'm sure I've never offended him, which puzzles me.

Later, I went to the company early every morning, and then paid close attention to his movements. When he came, I looked him in the eye and immediately smiled brightly and greeted him with my mouth. On the first day, he was surprised. The next day, he nodded to me. On the third day, he also gave me a smile and said good morning.

This persisted for a week, and I no longer deliberately looked for opportunities to smile. But something wonderful happened. Since he took the initiative that week, he always greeted me on the road. Sometimes, when I don't see him, he will catch up with me. Now he and I are not in the same company, and there is no interest dispute. It's better in private.

People who reach out and don't smile, after mastering the secret of smiling, have completely changed my interpersonal relationship, although it doesn't help my career.

Flattery is a must, why not?

Recently, there is a good variety show, the Round Table School, which is a wonderful sequel to the story. What kind of performance is it? In fact, it's just a group of educated people sitting around the table drinking tea, eating cakes and chatting.

However, these people just chatted and talked about Douban score of 9. 1, which is a good program worth watching.

In the program, Teacher Ma Weidou told an inspiring story about flattery.

The story is about two writers, Liu Zhenyun and Wang Shuo. One day, Liu Zhenyun and Wang Shuo had dinner together. Liu Zhenyun said: Teacher Wang, your novel is very good. Wang Shuo said: No, I can't write well, I can't write well.

The next day, I also praised it. Liu Zhenyun said: Teacher Wang, I really think your novel is well written. Wang Shuo said: It's really not well written.

On the third day, keep coming. Liu Zhenyun said: Teacher Wang, I'm serious. Your novel is really good. Now Wang Shuo and be in heaven say, I think my novel is well written.

No matter how educated a person is, he is also a human being, and everyone likes to hear good things. Therefore, flattery applies to anyone.

03. Without sincerity, everything is over!

It is ok to greet colleagues with a smile, but flattery is not. If you talk nonsense with a purpose, others will only be wary of you, if you talk nonsense.

Why did Fu get angry when so many athletes were interviewed? Because she is really, how to speak in life and how to speak in interviews. This is not to say that other athletes are untrue, but that they are too rigid, too procedural, too dramatic and too cold. If we say that kind of mechanical scene, the speaker has no feeling and the listener is naturally numb.

Career is career, life is life, and interpersonal relationships will not become smooth and warm because of the success of your career. Be a sincere, warm and sunny person, and people around you will return your sincerity, warmth and sunshine.

Look at the fear of flattery, which is actually a good word. But this demand for sincerity is extreme.

For example, Liu Zhenyun praised Wang Shuo's novels as good, so you can't talk nonsense, otherwise it will be counterproductive. False, superficial and grandiose praise can be seen by others at a glance. Because when people lie or say something uncertain, their expressions will be unnatural. When they want to achieve a certain goal with praise, even their tone will become extremely annoying.

Only sincere praise will be accepted by the other party and be proud of it. Imagine if Liu Zhenyun hadn't read Wang Shuo's novels and said they were well written, then if Wang Shuo asked, which one do you think I wrote best? Which role do you like best? Can't answer it? You flatter yourself and ignore others? Well, flattery without doing it will give people the impression that you are insincere and full of big talk.

To praise a person, we should carefully observe each other's advantages, and then praise what we really understand and appreciate, so as to make the listener happy. Flattery will only push people away, and only sincerity can bring people closer.

Three psychological effects in interpersonal communication

Primary effect

45 seconds to make a first impression

When we meet for the first time, we can get the first impression in 45 seconds, mainly including appearance, clothes, posture and facial expression. The first impression will dominate the subsequent communication. The "first cause effect" reminds us to leave a good impression when we meet for the first time.

People are willing to associate with people who are neatly dressed and generous. Pay attention to manners, preferably humorous, Kan Kan-style, supercilious and elegant. A good beginning is half the battle.

Praise rule

Learn to praise people's hearts closer.

Good praise can win people's hearts. Everyone is eager for sincere praise, which will make people feel their value affirmed, feel happy and encouraged, feel close to the person being praised, and the psychological distance will be shortened and approached by praise.

False praise is easy to arouse disgust and even leave a bad impression of flattery. Sincere praise should pay attention to two points:

1. Praise facts instead of people. Paying attention to what the other person has done, such as "you wrote really well", is more acceptable than saying "you are great"

2. Praise should be specific. Praise for something will be more powerful. For example, "Your hair style matches your face" can speak to the other person's heart better than "Your hair style is good". Praising others sincerely every time will not only make others happy, but also satisfy themselves.

Reciprocal law

Helping others is helping yourself.

Give someone a rose, and the hand has a lingering fragrance. Mutual help and understanding is the law of reciprocity in psychology. Interpersonal communication is like an echo. You are friendly to me, and I am friendly to you.

British philosopher Bacon said, "Treat others as you want them to treat you." For the team, only by helping employees sincerely can employees wholeheartedly help the team grow. For an individual, if he really helps others, there will be unexpected gains in interpersonal communication.

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