2017 annual meeting palace skit script
Characters:
Xu Xian: male, 25 years old.
White Lady: female, 28 years old.
Xiaoqing: female, 23 years old.
Fa Hai: male, 28 years old.
Roadrunner: male, Fa Hai's disciple, 25 years old.
Roadrunner B: female, Fa Hai's disciple, 24 years old.
Boatman: male, 26 years old.
Clothing: ancient clothes
Props: an oar, two knives, a stack of colorful pages of a certain company.
Music: "Waiting for a Thousand Years" "Ferry Love"
Script:
(Music: "Waiting for a Thousand Years")
[The White Lady comes on stage. (White Lady hereafter referred to as White)
(Singing)
Waiting for a thousand years Waiting for a thousand years
Waiting for a thousand years I have no regrets
My husband is whispering in my ear Saying that we'll go together to pay New Year's greetings
Just for this one line, ah-ha, I have no regrets even if I'm waiting for a thousand years
A company of a certain kind (this line is about a company's product)
Catch it, turn it into money
The heart is firm, not to retreat
I would like to light a flame with you
Ah ~ ~ ah ~ ~ ah ~ ~
(music fades)
White: (anxious) said six o'clock to pay homage to the New Year, it is now six thirty, but the male Xuxian has not yet appeared, alas, I do not know where the cat knitting wool, on the procrastination style, Yuanfang, what do you think? (Pull out the cell phone, pull out the number)
Voiceover: Sorry, the phone you pulled out is on the line.
White: (angry foot stomping) really think of themselves as a little fairy, hmm, later must make you look good.
[Xu Xian, Xiao Qing panting and running on the stage. (Xu Xian hereinafter referred to as Xu; Qing hereinafter referred to as Qing.)
Bai: (pointing at Xu) Confess from leniency, resist from severity, if it's not a train, why is it late?
Qing: It's all because of me.
White: (surprise) because you?
Qing: Sister, where do you think, the situation is like this. The first time I saw this, I was able to see a lot of people who were not in the same place as I was in the same place.
Xu: although it is a high-flying handsome, but very unlovely, dragging the cavity, pulling the rice, but also said that the man's femininity is chic masculinity, Xiaoqing sister refused him, but he called to ask me how it is?
White: (happily) so it is, (looking at the green) right sister, do a holy (leftover) female is not your lifelong pursuit?
Qing: truthfully, this worship annual meeting, you are either in pairs, or twinning, my lonely too long heart is very bad taste.
Xu: Then take out your tenderness, discover the target, take the target.
Qing: (melodramatic) tenderness to have, but not compromise, I want to be in the quiet, not panic strong.
White: All right, don't be sour, hurry up and go to so-and-so company to pay your respects.
Outline:
Learned that so-and-so company held a New Year's Eve event, the White Queen to be about the male Xu Xian to go to the New Year's Eve, a song of the "Millennium and so on" sung, but no Xu Xian figure, he pulled out his cell phone to call the other cell phone is on the phone, Xu Xian with the appearance of the small green, the original Xu Xian with the small blue to go to the blind date, the small green a number of sentiments out of the confusion and aggression of the many years, the line of fashionable and hilarious.
Three people are ready to go to pay tribute to the New Year, Fa Hai appeared with two disciples, it turned out that Fa Hai is also going to participate in the annual meeting of a certain company, both sides are ready to cooperate with a certain company, for this to compete and jealousy, have to show their own strength, see the New Year's Eve almost turned into a bye-bye, the small boatman appeared, said the peace and harmony, both sides decided to shake hands to go to the New Year's Eve to pay tribute to a certain company.
2017 annual meeting of the palace skit script
Narrator: said the end of the Song Dynasty, after the Song Tidian scattered, corruption began to sprout again, backdoor operation, subterfuge, behind the scenes, is a common occurrence. This is not, here began to sell official positions.
Act I spend money to buy an official
A: look, look at it! Lotus pond county officials, silver can buy it, county magistrate 500 two 60 days, master 300 two 60 days, 200 two 60 days of constable, sold out to close the stall! With an official position, you won't have a sore back, no pain in your legs, and you can eat anything you want! Everyone please look next to me, let's hear what he did after the official feeling?
B: I did not spend two hundred taels to do the constable before, I am so this way this way (stupid hat walking ~ ~ ~), (confused God on the stage), I have done the constable, I walk like this (jumping walk ~ ~ ~).
Confused God: ah ah ah ah ~~~~~ buy ~~~~~ magistrate !!!!! (Pulled out a bag of money)
A: Yo, just one magistrate left, moncler, you take the print to go well ah, tomorrow you can ascend to the hall, for the people to vindicate it!!!!
Confused God: vomit vomit?
B: vomit yea, vomit yea (Phoenix Legend tune)
Confused God: wrong, small? Heart this adult? Chop your head off! It is oh?my lady gaga!
A: adults, the villain today post of buy finished, can not go?
Confused God: Yes! You and others back down ~~ I should also go to the government office to prepare to go! (intoxicated ~ ready to get off the stage)
A, B: chirp!
A: really think of yourself as a magistrate, see what he is after two months! The magistrate should walk like this (official steps~~) (off)
Act II: Confused to solve the case
On: Music "Bao Qingtian"
Confused God: ascending to the hall
A, B: Mighty ~ ~ ~ ~
Confused God: why only two of you?
A: back to the Lord, those people heard that the Lord is the county magistrate, took the initiative to ask for orders, sued the old man to return to his hometown?
Confused God: They? Sure enough, I know that this adult magical power ~~ do not count with the ignorant, my home idol Feng Gong said: 2017 is about calmness.
Confused God: just? Not said to come to the trial of the case it? I'm not sure if you're a good person, but I'm a good person.
乙：犯人带到~
糊涂神：堂下何人，为什么见本官不下跪。
A: Your Honor, this person is slow to react and disrespectful to you, why not drag him down and chop him up?
Confused God: full of nonsense, I am confused official? We should have patience ~ more love ~ ~
Plum Blossom: Lord (in a loud voice), my daughter Plum Blossom pays her respects to the Lord! I'm sorry, but I don't know what to do with you.
A: adults, this woman makes adults frightened, why not drag down the beheading?
The God of Muddle: I'm a muddle-headed official. We have to convince people with virtue! Plum Blossom ah, what grievances, just say! My lord I will naturally deal with it impartially.
Plum Blossom: adults, my family lives in the mid-levels, at home there are food and drink, working to earn a car, Le boundless life. However, six months later, I opened a chemical plant, the economy just went bright, the family added a bed, I do not know who dog things, spread rumors that I raped, the chemical plant to explode, it is a rumor, it is a rumor ah!
Confused God: There is such a thing as a dog!
Confused God: There's no such thing as a dog! Wanted quickly~
(B quickly off the stage)
A: adults drink water ah, do not gas bad body.
A: adults, this woman makes you hate rise, why not drag down and chopped?
Confused God: full of nonsense, your dog's mouth when to spit out ivory! To love the people like a son!
Plum Blossom: adults, really is the year of the bag Qingtian, really is the year of the Song Tidian ah! Not only the little girl to what in return?
Confused God: this well! Adults convince people with virtue, love the people like a son, to what money, if you have to give words, my cell phone is almost out of service, help me charge a phone bill?
Plum blossom: adults, the people's daughter money were fined all, not to mention fifty, five dollars is not ah ~~~~~ By the way, I do not know whether adults are still single?
Confused God: ah? I am single?
A: adults, this woman does not want to pay the phone bill for adults, how about dragging it down to be chopped?
The confused god: slap! Flower, my lord, I am single.
Plum Blossom: If the adults can help me vindicate the words, I am willing to stay with the adults for life.
A: adults, this woman shows temptation, adults can not fall into the trap, it is better to drag down the beheading!
Plum Blossom: Lord, this master has repeatedly provoked us, forgive me for my daughter's frankness, is the master a homosexual?
A: Lord, this person is disrespectful to your subordinates, why not drag them down and behead them?
A: This man is disrespectful to your men, why don't you drag him to the chopping block?
A: This man has been disrespectful to your men, why don't you drag him to the chopping block? We'll try again tomorrow. Flower, you should be punished for offending my subordinates, so you'll be punished for playing the piano in the back garden at three minutes past midnight.
A: My lord, I also want to be punished!
Confused God: what are you punished?
A: I went to the back garden at three minutes past midnight to talk about love!
The god of confusion: bold, you can only let off steam! I'm not going to be able to do that.
Act III Interrogation of Li Long Dan
Muddle God: the court!
A and B: Mighty~
B: The wanted criminal that your honor caught yesterday, that's him!
Confused God: see this Lord, do not kneel, but also sitting on the chair, dragged down to be beheaded!
A: adults, to care about people's livelihood ah, beheading can not ah!
Li Long egg: Li Long egg, here, you will be poured water, I sit and go!
Confused God: you are so big frame, are more than me, dragged down to chop!
A: adults, the image must pay attention to, chopping can not ah!
Li Long Dan: Do you know who my old man is? Give me a good seat! My dad is Li Gang, Li is Li Gang's Li, just is King Kong's just.
Confused God: Li Gang? I don't know, my dad is also King Kong! I'm not sure if I know him, but I'm not sure if he's a good person.
A: adults, Li Gang is the director of the Procuratorate ah! I'm not sure if you're a good person, but I'm a good person. The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of the night, and I was in the middle of the night.
Confused God: you did not say earlier, just now I said, is to ask the chef to do white chicken ah! Chopped, chopped, chopped the more the better! Take the prisoner, Plum Blossom Flower!
Plum Blossom: Lord, do not forget our agreement ah!
Li Longdan: My lord, do you want to be promoted?
Plum Blossom: My lord, you are the one who serves the people with virtue!
Li Long egg: adults, promotion will be rich Oh ~
Plum Blossom: adults, the official big power you want to have a little bit of advantage, are aware of the law, the crime of a plus one ah!
Li Long egg: adults, more wealth, women are afraid of not?
Plum Blossom: adults, if you can find out the truth, I immediately married with adults!
Confused God: you know what you are playing? It's all subterfuge, my lord I'm convincing people by virtue! But your father is really the head of the Procuratorate ah
Li Long egg: who wants to pretend to be someone else's son!
A: I'm willing to, Dad ~
Li Long egg: money can make the devil to push the mill!
Plum Blossoms: My lord! I'd like to help my daughter ~~~ I'd like to be a cow and a horse!
A: Lord, this woman is a human being must pretend to be an animal, dragged down to the beheading it?
(B phone rings,)
Confused God: full of nonsense! Beheading or not beheading? Too apprehensive!!!!
乙：大人，有办法了，我们先来首《忐忑》庆祝下？
(ah a land ah a much ?)
Confused God: ah what ah! Tell me what's going on.
乙：大人，剛才上面电话，那个李龙蛋爸爸因他自己的 日记被抓了!
A: What?
A: What?
乙：他把自己贿赂的事情一五十地记在电脑中的记事本中! Being repaired by the guy who repaired Chen Guanxi's computer recovered well.
Li Longdan: You guys are kidding! How could my father do that stupid thing ~ my father is a four limbs, mind? Not? Is a developed mind, limbs are not simple people, how can it be, I do not believe!
(Dragon Ball answers the phone, ? Dragon egg you quickly escape, dad was arrested)
A: adults, this person spread rumors, oppression of the people, bullying the people's daughter, but also pretending to be my father, adults, I strongly recommend that he dragged down to be beheaded!
Confused God: no ~ tied up, then?
B: Chop him up?
Confused God: how to chop it,, sent to the current Director of the Procuratorate, our officials will not be officials to rise a grade it?
A, B: adults are really adults.
Confused God: Mei Hua Hua acquitted ~ Li Long egg, I arrest you in the name of my Great Song! Retreat from the court!
Narrator: A few years later, there was a confused fairy in the county town of Lotus Root Pond, who drove a horse-drawn carriage and crashed into people, causing the whole county town to be in a state of chicken and dog flight, and the people were not happy. He left behind a sentence: God and horses are all floating clouds, my father is a confused god!
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