The marriage custom of "Three Books and Six Rites" in Qichun County, Huanggang, which is the basis of traditional wedding in China, has been finalized as early as the pre-Qin period. The so-called "Six Rites" are the six procedures that you must complete to get a wife. Every marriage must complete these six steps before it can be officially recognized. The six etiquette are accepting gifts, asking names, Najib, accepting gifts, inviting guests and welcoming relatives. The "Three Books" are the documents that should be possessed when practicing the Six Rites, including the letter of appointment, the letter of engagement and the letter of welcome, and are the written records to ensure the validity of marriage in ancient times. Modern people emphasize simplicity and convenience. The traditional etiquette of three books and six rites has been simplified, and some of them are mixed with western wedding customs. Three letters of appointment A letter from a man to a woman when she is engaged, which is used to confirm the engagement. A letter from a man paying tribute to his wife when giving gifts, detailing the items and quantity when giving gifts. On the day of the welcome book and the wedding, the man gave the woman a list of books. These three books are notes for men and women to greet each other in the whole wedding procedure. The contents are auspicious, praise and congratulations. In ancient times, when the man met the right person to get married, he would ask the matchmaker to send the bride price to the woman's home and ask for marriage, which is what we call marriage proposal. After parents ask the bride's name to accept the proposal, they will give the date of birth (that is, the eight characters of the year) to the matchmaker, and the matchmaker will write the eight characters, name, place of origin and three generations of information of the prospective bride on red paper (called "Yu Tie") and give it to the man's home to show good or bad luck, that is, the eight characters now mentioned. Naji, also known as Wen Ding, asked the fortune teller to calculate whether the horoscopes of both men and women matched to decide whether the marriage was auspicious or not. This procedure is called marriage. If there is no contradiction between men and women, we can discuss the terms of engagement. So in ancient times, fortune tellers had the greatest authority over marriage, and the success or failure of marriage depended on his words. Also called gift, parents of both men and women negotiate all conditions. According to the agreed conditions, both men and women send the betrothal gift (commonly known as bride price or tea gift) to the woman's home, and the two sides exchange engagement letters and posts. Only in this way can this contact be considered positive or recognized. Invite men to ask fortune tellers to choose a good day, and also have their own search for "children" to find a good day for marriage. When the auspicious day is chosen, it is to inform the daughter's family to prepare an invitation for her daughter's wedding. On the wedding day, the groom took the marriage certificate to the woman's house to marry the bride. Giving gifts, also called receiving gifts, is a relatively complete and valued traditional etiquette preserved in the Three Books and Six Gifts. It is usually held one month to two weeks before the wedding. On that day, the man's family will invite two or four female relatives (who must be well-off, that is, husbands, children and parents-in-law) to act as matchmakers and bring bride price, gift money and a lot of gifts to the woman's family. In order to get the meaning of pairs, most gifts are even, packed in five Chinese gift boxes, plus a mailbox, forming six gift boxes. In addition to giving the bride price, the man will choose two or three auspicious days first, and let his wife set the wedding date on the day of the bride price. After the bride price of the man is delivered, the female guests of the man's house will open the gift box, select some gold ornaments for the bride to wear and say auspicious words. After that, everyone congratulated each other and congratulated each other, and the gift-giving ceremony was completed. Gift-giving precautions: Gift-giving has evolved into a written rule today. That is, the man's family prepares gifts and various gifts for the woman's family as an engagement ceremony. Usually, the number of gift cakes, gifts, gifts, etc. As a gift, it is even, which means in pairs. Coconut has its meaning in the ceremony. If parents are alive, use two pairs, otherwise use one pair. Eight kinds of Beijing fruits, lotus seeds, lilies, dried longan, dried litchi, red beans, mung beans, peanuts and peaches. Tea, because tea trees cannot be transplanted, must be planted with seeds, so tea is given as a gift. The woman received a big gift and needed a gift in return. Usually give the above items, a pair of lotus roots, a pair of heads and a pair of pomegranates, and give greeting towels according to the number of boyfriends and relatives. I gave my son-in-law two pairs of suits (materials), a belt, socks, a wallet (containing money) and Li Li, which read: "Five generations under one roof, a hundred children and a thousand grandchildren". After receiving the dowry, the woman's family should send it to the man's family the day before the wedding at the latest. In the past, Cantonese people liked to send dowry with camphor wood to show their durability. Dowry can be divided into "sending makeup" and "welcoming makeup". "Make-up" means that the woman's family sends the dowry to the man's family. In addition to people with makeup, the woman's family will also invite several relatives and friends to take care of it together. The bigger the number, the thicker the woman's house. The dowry is carried to the man's house, and the man will invite relatives and friends to meet. This is called "welcome makeup". The man's family has read the dowry records (the catalogue of the number and types of dowry items) and can't remove makeup until he knows the total number of dowry tables. At this time, the man's family must give red envelopes (benefits) to makeup artists, servants and makeup remover to get the meaning of good luck and prosperity. It symbolizes that a couple has officially entered the adult stage, and they want to form a new family and shoulder the mission of spreading branches and leaves. Jackets are divided into groom's jackets and bride's jackets. The wedding was held the night before the wedding week. First choose the auspicious time, and then both men and women will hold a ceremony at home. Usually, the man will go to work about half an hour earlier than the woman. When reaching the summit, both men and women need to take a bath first. People who are "blessed" (commonly known as "blessed men/blessed women", are the elders of both men and women's families, and need parents and children to be alive and husband and wife to be harmonious) bathe themselves with pomelo (pomelo leaves are said to be able to cleanse dirt). Then put on brand-new underwear and pajamas, sit by a window that can see the moon, and be combed by a "lucky guy" or "lucky woman" The bride's hair will be combed into a bun to show that she has entered adulthood after marriage. When combing your hair, "lucky guy" or "lucky woman" should say rhyming auspicious sentences. For example: one comb to the end, two combs with white hair and Qi Mei, three combs with children and grandchildren all over the floor, four combs with four silver bamboo shoots. It means wishing the couple a happy marriage. Finally, a "lucky guy" or "lucky woman" needs to tie a cypress tree and a red rope on the head of the bride or groom to complete the ceremony. It is usually held on the eve of marriage when a good man is in charge of the top management. Although the ceremony is not complicated, it is simple and grand, and it must be held at a good time. This ceremony needs to be held by a "lucky woman" or a "lucky man" in the home of both men and women. Lucky woman and lucky man are actually elders of both men and women. If parents and children are alive, it will be better to have a harmonious marriage. I hope to add good luck to the couple. If both parents have children and live forever, parents can be responsible for the above ceremony. The man should take a bath with grapefruit leaves before going to his head, then put on brand-new underwear and pajamas and start over. Three bowls of glutinous rice balls (nine in each bowl), a mirror, a red rope, a pointed comb, a ruler for children and grandchildren, and a hinge scissors should be prepared before the case. On auspicious days, good people will comb their hair (comb their hair) and sincerely offer sacrifices to heaven. When the head is ready, you can eat glutinous rice balls with your family and brothers and share the joy of marriage. The woman should shower with grapefruit leaves, put on brand-new underwear and pajamas, then go to her head, and then choose a window where she can see the moon. After lighting the dragon and phoenix candles, she will sincerely offer sacrifices to heaven with three bowls of glutinous rice balls, raw fruits, roasted meat and chicken, and prepare wooden combs and grates instead of pointed combs, sewing kits and red scarves. Scissors, on the other hand, represent advantages, and the ruler of future generations, and the mirror takes the meaning of its bright future, that is, the so-called "faucet mirror, hinged scissors ruler." The most important ceremonies and etiquette before the wedding are "going to the cabinet" and "going to court". "Going to court" means that the bride-to-be stays in a corner of the house for a short time before getting married, usually in the boudoir or attic, accompanied by a group of leap sisters and close friends, so as to get rid of the usual living habits temporarily and make psychological preparations so as to adapt to the unfamiliar living environment of her husband's family in the future. The bride won't leave the attic until the wedding day, so for a girl, this is commonly known as "marriage". Modern people also have activities similar to "going to court". The bride invited her sisters and close friends to her daughter's house the night before the wedding to tell each other their worries and prepare for another stage of her life tomorrow. Although there are occasional occasions when sisters are emotional and cry, the overall atmosphere is still full of joy. Before going out, the bride should prepare three kinds of gifts, namely Wei Wangjin, Zuli and Mantang Li, and write a letter to the couple at the man's house. When going out, the bride needs a bridesmaid or elder sister to hold a red umbrella to help, which means spreading the branches and leaves. Other sisters also need to sprinkle rice and red mung beans while walking, commonly known as "feeding the golden rooster". It is said that it can prevent the golden rooster from pecking at the bride, and it can also ward off evil spirits: the moon. It is also said that the purpose of Sami's red umbrella ceremony is to avoid the three evil spirits (grass, green cow and black-bone chicken). The moon red umbrella protects the bride from evil spirits, while Sami attracts the attention of the three evil spirits. After the ceremony, the bride can go to the man's house. The advantage of opening the door is that in the past, when the male sedan chair arrived at the female family, the female family needed to prepare some red envelopes (called "door bags") to welcome the sedan chair into the door. Today, the situation is just the opposite. When the bride and groom meet at the bride's house, they are often stopped by sister groups, demanding the benefits of opening the door (the numbers are mainly "three" or "nine" to get the meaning of "three three inexhaustible" and "everlasting"), and they will also test the groom's sincerity with various gadgets. In fact, men and women bicker across the door and ask for the benefits of opening the door, which can not only add to the lively atmosphere, but also make the bride pleasing to the eye, and the woman's family does not want her to leave home and get married. However, when asking for the benefits of opening the door, sisters should hurry up and don't make a fuss for a long time, so as not to miss the opportunity to go out. The bride went to the man's house and stepped into the man's house with the help of Daikin. A brazier (copper basin or iron basin) burning charcoal will be placed outside the big threshold in advance, and the bride needs to cross it. This is called "crossing the brazier", which means prosperity and evil spirits. Next, there is a ceremony to pay homage to the church, which is divided into three steps. The first step is to worship heaven and earth, the second step is to worship ancestors, and the third step is to worship Wengjiagu. After paying homage to heaven and earth and ancestral ancestral ancestral hall, a couple will bow to the parents of the groom, and the bride will offer fragrant tea to the old man and aunt, and then offer tea to the elders one by one according to their generation and age. Whether they kneel or not depends on the respect and preference of both sides. After bowing to their parents, the newlyweds will worship each other. Sister Daikin kept saying some auspicious words, and after renting and worshiping each other, the ceremony was completed. Serving tea is a very important etiquette of traditional China people. When the newlyweds worship their ancestors, they should first offer tea to their mother-in-law and aunt Weng when they go out. This not only means thanking parents for their upbringing, but also means that both parents accept the groom or bride as a new member of the family, which is a symbol of recognized status. Two red dates and lotus seeds are usually put in the fragrant tea used by newcomers to worship tea, which symbolizes the good omen of early birth. After drinking the bride's cup of tea, the new family, grandparents and elders will send gold bracelets, jade and other jewelry as a meeting gift for the newly married wife, and also put a gift on the tray of fragrant tea (commonly known as "betel nut box") as a reward for Dajin's sister. Although it is not listed in the Three Books and Six Rites, it is a very important wedding etiquette in China tradition, and it must not be taken lightly. Once upon a time, after the bride got married, she would go back to her family on the third day accompanied by her husband. The man must send back a golden pig to show the bride's chastity. After receiving the golden pig, the female family shared it with relatives, friends and neighbors, saying that her daughter had not humiliated the threshold. Traditionally, the mother-in-law's bride and son-in-law have to stay at home for dinner, but now most couples choose to go home on the same day, which is time-saving and convenient, so the couple only have a short rest at their parents' house and have some tea to show this etiquette. References:

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