I am a distant person, from Heilongjiang to Wuhan.

I have been living on campus since junior high school. From then on, my life was basically independent, and I went to school, worked, got married and got farther and farther away from home. So all along, I am not a homesick person.

But when I was pregnant, I was particularly homesick and attached to my mother. Call her every day and talk to her for a long time.

I was working at school at that time, which happened to be the summer vacation when I was pregnant for four months. While watching TV, I accidentally saw a big pot of pickles and corn cob on the table in Country Love, and suddenly I was homesick. I have to go back to my hometown in the northeast.

My whole family is not worried about my long trip. Finally, my mother promised to accompany me when I was about to give birth.

When I was eight months pregnant, I showed signs of threatened abortion. After being hospitalized for half a month, I asked for leave to go home for labor. Because the wedding room is not decorated, I have been living in the school dormitory. At this time, I can only stay at my husband's house for labor, and it is convenient to be taken care of.

I urge every day, miss every day, and finally urge my mother to accompany me.

Before giving birth, my mother flew to Wuhan to live with her mother-in-law and take care of my diet and daily life.

Actually, to tell the truth, my in-laws are very kind to me. I didn't eat well before I was hospitalized, and my children were always young. Just over a month after returning to her husband's family, the pregnant belly was obviously big, and the child who had a pregnancy test finally met the standard size.

I don't need my mother to take care of me at all. I am looking forward to having my mother come because of her company. I don't know why I got pregnant. I just miss my mother. I just think my mother is the closest.

A few days before my mother moved into her in-laws' house, her in-laws were very polite and friendly, and the family was happy. But after a week, I found that the conversation between my in-laws and my mother became less and less. I guess it's because of the language barrier. In-laws can't speak Mandarin, and to greet my mother, they have to speak Mandarin word by word. And I have to translate most of the content.

At that time, I could only take a guess to understand what my in-laws said. Therefore, I am also an unqualified translator. Over time, mother and mother-in-law were speechless. When you get along under the same roof, the atmosphere becomes awkward.

1. Is the old hen nutritious or the chick nutritious?

Before my mother came, my father killed four old hens and kept them for more than a year. Knowing that I was pregnant, I deliberately didn't kill him, provided for the elderly, and made soup when I was confined. In our place, the old hen stew is the most nourishing.

Not far away, my mother took four old hens and wild astragalus that my father had specially dug up the mountain, and prepared to cook old hens and stew astragalus next month to replenish qi and blood for me after delivery.

But my in-laws won't give me the old hen soup. Mother-in-law said, "The old chicken has no nutrition." My mother argued, "Old stewed chicken is nutritious."

Mother-in-law said, "When a chicken is old, it's just like when a person is old. It's useless, so it's not nutritious. Besides, your chicken is frozen and even less nutritious. " My parents-in-law insisted on going to the market to buy fresh chicken for me to stew, saying it was nutritious.

Because it is in my husband's house, it is not good for my mother to grab the stove and make a fire alone. My mother's hard-working old hen was stewed by her in-laws and eaten by the whole family. Chicken legs were also brought into my room. But because the chicken was too old and cooked for a long time, and my chicken was too big, I couldn't cook the whole chicken leg left by my in-laws, so I took a bite and stopped eating it.

My mother was so angry that she didn't eat a bite. She said that my in-laws wasted her and my dad's heart for nothing.

I have a caesarean section, and I have insufficient blood and little milk. At first, I couldn't drink milk. My mother-in-law and my mother are anxious.

In-laws are in a hurry, and the children have no milk to eat.

My mother is in a hurry. If the child can't breastfeed, she will be very anxious. If she is in a hurry, she will punch and kick my wound and feel distressed.

So, they all want to give me galactagogue.

My mother uses our method. After the glutinous rice is steamed, add some oil and fry it. It is said that you can milk.

My in-laws insisted on stewing soup and asked me to drink more soup. Bring me two big bowls at a time.

I can't eat anything. Glutinous rice is too greasy to eat two bites, and the dishes cooked by in-laws are too light to eat. So they quarreled again. My mother-in-law said that my mother was fooling around, and eating too much glutinous rice was not good for my stomach. My mother said my mother-in-law's cooking was too bad, so I stopped eating it.

My mother cooked for me and accidentally put too much soy sauce in it. Mother-in-law was annoyed when she saw it, and a plate fell. Eating soy sauce in confinement is not good for children. So, the two men quarreled again.

I like eating meat at home, so my mother went to the vegetable market and bought me beef and sauced elbows. I hope I have a good appetite.

The in-laws who buy meat refuse to eat, saying that the cooked food outside is not clean and hygienic, and they are not at ease.

Every time I can't eat any more, my in-laws shout, "You should eat more. If you don't eat much, there will be no milk, and the children will be hungry and thin. Look at your sister-in-law, she eats two bowls of milk every meal, and she has to throw it away if she can't finish it. "

My mother said, "You should eat more. Caesarean section is too harmful to people. Eat more, supplement nutrition and get better soon. " . No matter what they say, eat milk powder without milk. "

My confinement happens to be the coldest day in winter. My mother-in-law's house is an old house. There is no heating and the windows are not sealed. Air conditioning can't play any role. This room can only be heated by oil heaters.

My mother is from the northeast, spending the winter in the south for the first time. She is particularly sensitive to the cold and can't stand it. Trembling with cold every day. Even if there is heating in the room, she still feels that the cold air is pouring directly.

In her mind, neither children nor adults can be affected by the wind in the second month. Therefore, the doors and windows of my room are closed every day.

My mother-in-law comes to the room every morning to open the door and open the window for ventilation. She said that the doors and windows have been closed, and the air quality is not good and unhealthy.

So every morning, the situation in my room is that my mother-in-law nags: "The doors and windows are closed every day, and the children are annoyed." Open the doors and windows while talking.

When she opened the doors and windows at her feet and closed the back window, my mother quickly said, "well, you can't open doors and windows when you are confined to the moon." Confucius was ill all his life. "

One day, when the weather was fine, my in-laws came to my room and rolled up all the bedding to dry, leaving only the bare mattress. My in-laws said the weather was fine, so I could stroll on the balcony and bask in the sun. You can't always sleep.

My mother was dumbfounded as soon as she came in: "This confinement, the quilt has been taken away, and my daughter is not allowed to sleep and rest. It's so cold in the room, what should I do? " What is the sun? What should I do when the wind blows? "

She ran to her room and brought me all her bedding. I must lie down and rest.

4. Should Artemisia selengensis eat leaves or poles?

In the northeast, a kind of wild wormwood grows by the river every spring, which is an edible wild vegetable. When it grows to more than ten centimeters, pinch the buds and take them home, and make soup with leaves, or boil them in boiling water and dip them in sauce. It is a delicious food that can't be missed every spring. We call it Artemisia bud.

In Wuhan, Artemisia selengensis is an artificially cultivated vegetable. In fact, Artemisia selengensis and Artemisia selengensis buds should be the same species regardless of appearance characteristics or taste. The difference is that in Wuhan, Artemisia selengensis grows to more than 20 centimeters high, and the pole is strong enough to harvest. All the leaves are blanched, cut into pieces and fried with bacon.

I saw my mother-in-law polish the leaves of Artemisia selengensis. My mother couldn't help sighing: "In our place, we all eat leaves. It's a pity. "

Coupled with all the unhappiness before, my mother-in-law had a bad attitude and directly replied: "No one here eats leaves and throws them away as garbage." My mother-in-law said that my mother came from a savage place and ate everything. My mother said that my mother-in-law would not do good and waste things.

5. Is the cucumber old or tender?

In the northeast, if you have something to do, you will have a cucumber or pickled cucumber with cold salad, and you will choose crisp and tender food.

Besides, my husband's family never eats cold salad. Buy cucumbers, only pick the old ones, peel and slice them and fry them.

Once, my mother bought two cucumbers to eat with cold dishes. Ask your in-laws to have a taste at the dinner table. My father-in-law took a bite and said he was not used to eating. Mother-in-law only bowed her head and grilled rice, pretending not to hear. My mother didn't finish a plate of mixed cucumber, and her mother-in-law dumped it when she cleared the table. She said: "Leftovers can't be eaten if they are not hot, so don't eat cold dishes twice." My mom thinks it's personal. The relationship between the two people has become more rigid.

In this way, I stumbled for a month. For a whole month, my mother-in-law began to open the window or say a few words. The two became more and more unhappy, and the mother-in-law hardly went upstairs and did not hold the child. But she is always rushing to wash the children's clothes.

Mother-in-law's cooking is not very good, and the dishes she cooks are not delicious. But I still cook every meal with my heart.

My mother couldn't wait to go home when I was just full moon. Every time I ask her why she is in such a hurry, she cries and refuses to say anything.

I was in the upstairs room when I was confined, and their arguments were behind my back downstairs. I just feel that my in-laws and my mother are constantly rubbing against each other. I can't say who is right or wrong, because I know they are all for my own good, but their methods and positions are different. I don't know how to relieve it. In addition, in the second month, the child was crying and the wound was very painful, and I didn't have time to take care of too much.

I didn't know anything until my mother came home.

My mother complained to my mother-in-law on the phone on the way home, saying that my mother-in-law was overbearing and unreasonable. Said she was wronged during my confinement, and said everything about their friction. Through the communication of my family, I realized that she had suffered so much injustice during my confinement.

My mother just left. My in-laws stewed a big pot of pig's trotters soup and gave me milk. As a result, because the breast was not connected, she suddenly got mastitis and had a fever of 40 degrees. She went to the hospital for an injection and the child had to breastfeed for three days.

My mother told me after knowing this: "If your mother-in-law bullies you, don't bear it. Your mother-in-law is bullying you. Have something to say to your mother. " She thinks my mother-in-law is not easy to mess with.

To tell the truth, when my mother lived at my husband's house. I can really see my mother-in-law with a dark face and unhappy face every day. I really have a problem with my mother.

However, after my mother left, my in-laws took over the task of taking care of me and my children for the first time. I take care of the children myself at night. During the day, my in-laws try their best to take care of the children and let me sleep more, except for breastfeeding time.

Although I made a mistake, I was forced to drink greasy pig's trotters soup to promote lactation. But this is also from the heart, for the good of me and my children. Cook me all kinds of nutritious meals in different ways. Chicken soup, fish soup and sparerib soup are all made for me in different ways.

Children's clothes, my clothes, never need me to wash one. My mother-in-law even washed my underwear and then scalded it with boiling water for disinfection.

Since my mother left, my mother-in-law's face has also lit up, holding her eldest grandson happily.

For the next three years, we lived with our in-laws and took care of our children. The food, clothing, housing and transportation at home are taken care of by two old people. We haven't been popular once. My mother-in-law never gave me a look, even though my clothes were on my lips, I didn't do anything.

My mother is worried that I will be bullied by my mother-in-law. This kind of thing has never happened.

This has always been a mystery in my heart.

My mother-in-law has always been very tolerant and considerate to me, never giving me any face, and I can't find anything wrong with it, but why don't I have a good face for my mother?

My mother is also cautious in my husband's house, taking the initiative to help cook, buy food, clean up the room, take care of me and take care of my children in the month, and is not picky about anything.

Why do two people have so many contradictions?

I have been thinking about it for many years, until now, I understand the truth: two tigers can't fit in one mountain, and two women can't fit in one family.

Mother and mother-in-law should never live under the same roof. Even if the two women are good-natured, they are natural enemies because of their different living habits, positions and emotional needs. No matter right or wrong, they will inevitably compete with each other. Just arguing.

So, in order to avoid disputes. Never let two mothers come together when they are confined to the moon.

The confinement is in the mother-in-law's house, and it is a bit inappropriate for the mother to take care of it! In China, traditionally, the husband-in-law takes care of his daughter-in-law, who carries on the family line. Children take their surnames. They take care of the moon not only for pregnant women, but also for the arrival of this little life. It is a kind of happiness to take care of them around, and the daughter-in-law is also a great hero of their family.

It is reasonable for a mother-in-law to take care of her daughter-in-law. When a woman needs someone most, she is locked in a confinement. The mother-in-law takes good care of her. When she is old, the daughter-in-law will naturally take care of them. Many families have formed hatred because their mother-in-law does not take care of their daughter-in-law. Don't blame her daughter-in-law for not supporting you when she is old.

The mother will be responsible for the delivery of her daughter. Unless there are special circumstances, she must communicate with her husband's family and come back. She can't come if she wants to. It is impolite to ignore her husband's family, and it will be difficult for her to live there in the future.

After giving birth to a child, I felt that I had postpartum depression. I am bored when I see people, unhappy every day, often in a daze, and sometimes crying with my child in my arms. Mother-in-law thought she didn't take care of herself, complained to her husband and secretly wiped her tears. I asked him to explain. My mother-in-law later heard from a friend that she had this kind of "disease", and only then did she remove the misunderstanding between us.

I didn't let my mother take care of me until the second month. There is a local custom that you can't spend the next month at your mother's house, which is not good for your mother's house. I will go to my parents' house for a few days after I leave the month, so that my children can recognize my grandmother's house. What does such a young child know? Let's follow tradition! After living in my mother's house for a week, my mother still takes care of my diet according to the standard of confinement. I am carefree with my mother, and I can say whatever I want. My mother is not afraid of being angry, and she won't really be angry with her daughter. I can understand why my mother won't let me eat what she wants. If my mother-in-law probably doesn't think so, I will think that her mother is the one who loves her daughter the most, and it is easy to misunderstand the old man if her thoughts are not correct.

No matter who takes care of it, as long as it goes through this difficult month.

I lived in my mother's house in the third trimester and was taken back to my mother-in-law's house by my husband until the end of confinement.

So I was taken care of by my own mother for a whole month. An unforgettable experience is eating eggs until you feel sick and vomit. I ate almost 200 for a whole month [covering my face].

Other aspects are not much different from usual.