(The music starts and the host comes out)
Moderator: Hello everyone. Welcome to If You Are the One. I'm Ray Murphy. Since our program was broadcast, it has attracted the attention of mainstream media such as Fang, Maopu and Dafa bbs. On the occasion of the Mid-Autumn Festival, in order to thank the audience for their support and love, and also to express our humanistic concern for legal talents, our program group specially recorded today's "No Thunder, Do Not Disturb", I hope you like it. Well, let's hurry up and invite five beautiful single female guests today.
(Music begins, female guests appear)
Moderator: The audience is so enthusiastic. Please welcome five girls to light up. You may notice that there are new faces on our stage today. Let's get to know them. The fourth one.
No.4 female: Hello, my name is Wu Shudi, and I'm 20 years old. I didn't realize that I was a girl until recently.
Moderator: We welcome Wu Xidi. The third point.
Woman 3: Hello, I'm Mary from Taipei.
Moderator: What?
The third woman: Mary from Taipei (gentle)
Moderator: Excuse me, could you speak a little louder?
Woman 3: Mary in the Northeast! (go on the rampage)
Moderator: Welcome to Mary in Northeast China, and ask Mary in Northeast China to introduce your mate selection criteria.
Female No.3: The boy in my dream wants Jiao Hongchang's smart hairstyle, Yu Fei's rounded nostrils, Li Jianwei's plump waist, Luo Xiang's insistence on Article 236 of the Criminal Law and his English pronunciation.
Moderator: OK, today we will give a prize to every boy who has successfully made it through the customs. It's the date bibimbap lamp provided by Building 9. At the same time, we presented prizes to the boys who turned on all the lights in the first round, including two packages of blog forums provided by Building 9 and a deep double tour in phoenix temple. The prize is very generous. Everyone encourages us. Next, let's welcome tonight's male guest 1.
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(From the music point of view, male guest No.65438 +0 appeared)
Moderator: Welcome to If You Are the One.
Male 1: Hello, everyone.
Moderator: Hello, everyone, let me introduce myself to you.
Male 1: My name is Lei Lei, and I come from Youshi University in China.
Compere: You are an oil man. How did you get on the program of Fada?
M # 1: Well, as we all know, the male-female ratio in science and engineering has always been a big problem. If people's desires are not satisfied, they will be pessimistic, desperate and even world-weary, which will seriously affect my work efficiency, especially in this era of twists and turns, friends, you know!
Whenever I am lonely, I will take out my mobile phone and dial 10086 to listen to that woman's voice.
Voiceover: Hello, operator 5438 is at your service.
1 m: hello, I'm from petroleum university and I'm single.
Voice-over: Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is married. Please dial again.
Moderator: Even I will be moved by you. Do you think our female guests at the scene today can watch you die alone?
Woman 2: No, we won't. We will close our eyes.
(As soon as the voice fell, the female guests turned off the lights, and 1 was still on. )
Moderator: Well, there is only one female guest with the light on. Let's ask her opinion.
Female 1: I have only one thing to say to you. The furthest distance in the world is not that I don't love you when you stand in front of me, but that oil is only 100 meters away from China Law University, but you don't know where the highest institution of law is.
Moderator: Unfortunately, I can only say goodbye.
Male guest 1: goodbye.
(From music, male guest 1 leaves the scene and goes on TV model props)
Male guest 1: alas, I can only say that our petroleum university provides you with so many self-study seats every year, but it can't win a girl's heart!
Voiceover: Hello, operator 2222 is at your service.
Moderator: Well, we sent away our lonely male guest 1. Next, please welcome today's male guest number two.
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(The music begins, and male guest No.2 comes out)
Moderator: Hello, welcome to If You Are the One.
Man 2: Hello, host, ladies and gentlemen. Before I introduce myself, I'd like to ask you to dance.
Moderator: Since our No.2 male guest has special preparations, we will certainly wait and see. Do you agree? Please welcome!
Male No.2: Music
(from music, male guest No.2 and dance performance)
Moderator: ok, thank you very much for the wonderful performance of male guest No.2 and relatives and friends. Let us introduce ourselves to you.
Male No.2: Hello, my name is Lei Xiaoer, and others say I am fat. Actually, I'm thin, not obvious. My mate selection criteria are: always pursuing single women and never leaving married women; I pay attention to the exploration of girls above 16, and I carefully cultivate girls below 16. I'd rather love 3 thousand wrongly than let one go, because my motto is: people are wolves, so why pretend to be sheep.
Moderator: OK, now after listening to this very confident Mr. Lei Xiaoer's self-introduction, what will our female guests think? Female guests please choose.
(As soon as the voice fell, two female guests turned off the lights and three turned on the lights outside.)
Moderator: OK, we can see that there is Three Lamps District on the court, which is a very good result. Then let's see what his friends say about him.
(News broadcast music, TV model props, two female relatives and friends)
Female 1: Good evening, everyone.
Woman 2: Good evening.
Female 1: Today is September 22, 20 10, the fifteenth day of the eighth lunar month.
Woman No.2: We are unknown members of Lei Xiaoer's Victims' Union and one of many ex-girlfriends.
Female 1: Yes, we are not persecuted enough. Now we are the only ones in the whole meeting who are not crazy or stupid.
Woman No.2: Today, let's praise Lei Xiaoer.
Female 1: Lei Xiaoer has many advantages.
Woman 2: First of all, he is very literary and loves all kinds of arts.
Female No.65438 +0: For example, body art, colored literature books, Japanese literary action movies and so on.
Woman 2: Secondly, he also has a pair of eyes that are good at discovering beauty.
Female 1: How do you think the famous Xifeng joined our alliance?
Woman No.2: In short, our feelings for Lei Xiaoer are like those sung in the song, love and hate.
Female No.65438 +0: I am very happy to be in love. I glanced at him again in the crowd.
Woman 2: I hate it. What a pity. How the fuck did you throw someone away to raise a placenta? ...
Female 1: In short, choose Lei Xiaoer and join us. This concludes today's program. Thank you for watching. Goodbye.
Woman 2: Goodbye.
Moderator: OK, after listening to the comments of Mr. Lei Xiao's closest relatives and friends, how will our female guests react? Please select.
(After saying this, all the female guests turned off the lights. )
Moderator: Sorry, goodbye.
(Music begins, male guest No.2 comes out and goes on TV model props)
Male No.2: I want to tell the men here that beautiful girls are just passing by, and only the warm right hand can last forever.
Moderator: Our program has not been successful so far. After seeing off the confident second male guest, please welcome the last male guest tonight. Please welcome number three.
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(Music begins, male guest No.3 enters)
Moderator: Hello, welcome to If You Are the One.
Man 2: Hello, host.
Moderator: Introduce yourself to everyone.
Man 2: Don't call me handsome. My name is Lei Yong, and I love both men and women. As a scholar who brings disasters to the country and people, I often think philosophically, for example, what is the meaning of life? For example, one day the sun doesn't turn around on the earth. What should we do?
(Music begins)
Compere: Even if one day the earth doesn't turn, we should closely unite around Comrade Hu Jintao and keep turning.
Male No.2: Meanwhile, as the last representative of Chrysanthemum, I just finished a masterpiece and share it with you:
The furthest distance in the world is not the distance from Beijing to Changping, but that 1 building and building 4 are only 100 meters, but my aunt won't let me rush over.
The warmest advice in the world is not that people in the toilet come and go in a hurry, but that my dear says to me every morning, die and sit down! On the first floor of the library.
Moderator: OK, what do you think of this talented scholar? Please select.
(Female guests turn off the lights and leave two lights on the 4th and 3rd. )
Moderator: OK, let's ask the female guests why they turned off the lights. The fifth one.
Woman No.5: (Henan dialect) Brother, why are you like a pioneer cow?
Male No.2: (Learn from Shenyang) Sister, why?
Woman 5: When you leave home, can you tell whether you are a man or a woman?
Moderator: OK, are there any questions about the female guests?
Female 1: Excuse me, male guest, do you have the melancholy eyes of Brother Sharp?
Man 2: Uh, no. ..
Woman 3: Do you have Huang Lixing's sexy chin?
Man 2: Well, neither.
Woman 4: Do you have the sincerity and frankness of the director of tobacco?
Man 2: Well, that's true. I also keep a diary.
Moderator: OK, as you can see, there are two exhibition lights on the field. Congratulations to Mr. Lei Yong for entering the boy's rights. At the same time, I got 2 copies of dating bibimbap provided by Building 9. Next, please welcome the female guests who are still on stage.
(The music begins, and female guests No.4 and No.2 take the stage.)
Moderator: Ladies and gentlemen, you are watching the special edition of Non-Thunder Do Not Disturb. Now is the final stage of the competition. If you want to know what this gentle boy's final choice is, please make an advertisement and go away at once and don't come back.
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(TV shopping column)
M: Hello, audience and friends in front of the TV. Welcome to the cake filling TV shopping channel.
Do you like filling cakes, madam?
Woman: Of course I want to.
M: Good, so today we will bring you the cake shop in Building 9. This kind of cake shop is popular all over Asia and all over the world, making everyone scream for it.
Woman: As the saying goes, if you want to be a cow, you have to be a pioneer, and if you want to fill cakes, you have to eat Building 9. You should eat it every morning.
M: Next, let's analyze the heinous function of egg filling cake in Building 9. First look at its appearance and color.
Woman: omelet, small, golden yellow, omelet, healthy and unique. If you want to eat, you can eat Building 9.
M: Second, the health care function. After eating our omelet, you won't be tired if you work overtime.
Woman: I'm warm and hungry. It doesn't hurt, and it's easy every month.
M: Then there is its unique elastic taste.
Woman: bounce off, bounce off crow's feet.
Man: bounce off, bounce off your belly.
Man: Fourthly, what we want to introduce to you is its function of enhancing memory.
W: I have been learning English since I gave my children eggs and cakes.
M: It's so simple, my mother doesn't have to worry about my study anymore.
Male; Most importantly, eating our eggs and stuffing cakes can make men more men.
Women: Women are more women.
M: We used to struggle.
Woman: Fill the cake with eggs. Oh, Dad, the cake is delicious, Smecta.
M: Isn't it cool?
That's not all.
M: Look, we brought you a perfectly polished diamond omelet for Mr. Yang's on-the-spot investigation.
W: The so-called eight hearts and eight arrows are a diamond with perfect polishing, perfect cutting and perfect color, the best among diamonds and the Rolls Royce in cakes.
M: That's right. Then everyone must be curious. What is the market price of this diamond egg filling cake?
W: The market price of this diamond egg filling cake is 188 yuan, but in order to make the party go smoothly, we only need 88 yuan and 88 yuan.
Man: Wow, it's so cheap and great value.
W: Wait a minute. It's not over yet. The top 20 viewers who order by telephone will also get the autograph of the president of the popular BBS superstar in France University. What are you waiting for? What are you hesitating about? Pick up your mobile phone and order quickly. Oh, my God, I'm so tired. It's finally over.
Man: Wait a minute, this is your cake.
Woman: It's your stuffing cake.
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Moderator: OK, welcome back. Now we will enter the most tense stage. What will our gentle male guests choose? If you love her, hold her.
(Only when your music starts, the male guest walks to the female guest on the 3rd and stops halfway.)
Male No.2: My mother told me from an early age that I had a strong taste and was born with a salty taste. After all these years, I finally found this sexy and charming person with big hips and breasts today.
(Romeo and Juliet music, male guest No.3 and female guest No.4 leave hand in hand)
Moderator: Congratulations to Lei Yong and Wu Di for their success. I hope they will be happy all their lives. At the same time, our program group also received a call from Kimberly Diamond Male.
(Voice-over: XXX sent a congratulatory message from XXX, congratulating Lei Yong and Wu Didi on their eternal unity and the early birth of their son. If you don't listen, I'll spank you.
Master X sent a congratulatory message from XXX, wishing Lei the courage to join hands with Wu Di for success. Remember to take care of the children and come back often.
Master X sent a congratulatory message from the canteen, wishing Lei the courage to stay with Wu Didi forever, and don't forget to pick up your warm-hearted dating coupon.
Moderator: Well, this episode is over. Welcome to see you next time.