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In The Story of Kippa 5, there is a heated debate about whether to tolerate partner abandonment in marriage. Among them, Fu Seoul's speech was impressive. "The best education in marriage is tolerance. I also want a partner who doesn't desert. It would be nice to have a partner who doesn't wander off. They have no distractions, sit still and don't mind seeing colors. Is this happening? Yes, Tang Priest. "

Her views are clear. In marriage, the occasional abandonment of partners should be fully understood and tolerated. Compared with prevention and control, tolerating and strengthening the abilities you need is the most important way to keep your partner attractive.

I'm impressed.

Shi Tiesheng once said, "Man's real name is desire". Love of beauty, laziness and selfishness, and pleasing yourself ... are the truest desires born as human beings and engraved in the bones, and also the truest human nature.

In life, even women can't help looking at beautiful women with fair skin. Even if the house is dirty and messy, even if people like clean people on weekdays, they will choose to nest in a warm and comfortable bed in the morning when they don't have to go to work. When eating with familiar partners, I will take out my mobile phone from time to time and browse gossip entertainment quickly. ...

These are all abandoned by people's unaccustomed partners in life. However, couples are so absent-minded, and these thoughts wander for a short time, which does not mean that they like untidiness more than their partners, gossip more, or even dislike or love their partners.

Perhaps, no one will like such abandonment of their partners, because everyone wants a perfect couple who are persistent and always self-centered.

However, as Miyazaki Hayao said in Hal's Love in a Moving Castle, "Love is not to find a perfect person, but to learn to appreciate that imperfect person with perfect eyes."

In this world, there has never been a pure soul that is not bound by desire and human nature. The so-called "sterile marriage" is just a mirage in many people's minds.

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JK Rowling, the author of Harry Potter, was also a single mother. After the divorce, she led a hard life. For a while, she didn't even have the money to pay for the heating in her room. But it's like this. She was not trapped in the shadow of her mother's death and her ex-husband's domestic violence, but presented her adolescent emotions and fantasies to readers with a faint beauty of loneliness.

When people reach middle age, she still has pure fantasies about the opposite sex and beautiful expectations for a relationship, which is why she can give too many people the opportunity to fly their dreams with her works.

Just imagine, if she lives herself as the most insipid one in the world of mortals, how can she write the most beautiful and tender warmth and yearning beauty on the characters?

Zhang Ailing once said, "Maybe every man has had two such women, at least two. Married a red rose, over time, the red one turned into a touch of mosquito blood on the wall, and the white one was still "the bright line at the foot of my bed"; When you marry a white rose, the white rose is the rice grain on your clothes, and the red rose is the Zhu Shazhi in your heart. "

In fact, as human beings, men and women are the same. As Su Xin wrote in her article How to Choose Marriage is Wrong, because people's desires are endless, but such desires are normal and even beautiful.

Therefore, no matter who you marry in the end, everyone may fall in love with another person again, even if such love is a temporary fantasy and obscenity.

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There is a saying that "a good marriage means falling in love again and again". Love is the sincere appreciation of each other in marriage, which slowly radiates from the bottom of my heart. Control, interference and disgust have always been cancer in marriage. They are like germs that grow quietly and rot secretly in the body of marriage, which can make a beautiful relationship go to rout step by step.

In marriage, if you criticize each other, even suspect jealousy and control obstruction because of the abandonment of these most common couples, then this relationship will eventually go downhill.

In the Happiness Trio, Chen Jianbin was scolded by too many people: "Too lazy! Male chauvinism! Not worthy of angels ... "There are a lot of online abuse, and there are too many things that make netizens feel wronged.

Angel is eight months pregnant and wants to cook carefully, but Chen Jianbin is always absent-minded. Angels are busy with their bellies every day, while Chen Jianbin is playing with his mobile phone while shouting "Let me do it". He shouted "a cold cucumber" and slowly climbed into bed to find the menu. When he found the menu, Angel cooked all the dishes. Angel asked him to mop the floor, and he retorted, "I don't think this place is dirty, it's quite clean." Angel asked to check the doors and windows before going out. He casually said "mental derangement" ... When he finally got on the bus, Angel finally cried in grievance.

Netizens feel that Angel is too wronged, commenting on her wave after wave. "Why didn't the goddess angel marry home?" ? Such a man should be kicked out!

But at the end of the interview, Angel said, "When two people live together, they are mostly tolerant, tolerant and patient. Of course, there are smooth moments, but there are also bumps and bumps, small things in all aspects, and disputes over small details. But in the general direction, you still feel that this person has made you practical and that you can live together, so these things have passed. " "I have been married for 12 years, and I get along well with Teacher Chen."

Stoicism in ancient Greek philosophy put forward the dichotomy of control: in life, there are some things you can control and some things you can't.

Good love is never bondage and control, not trying to change each other to cater to oneself, but giving each other space and freedom, allowing him to grow freely, be the most complete self and become a better self. Otherwise, no matter how hard you try, the other person will never be what you want, and your feelings will be exhausted in repeated control and running-in.

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In the movie Hello, Zhihua, Zhihua has a stable married life, but when she sees her young lover at the class reunion, there will still be a ripple in her heart.

For his sudden visit, she will still look for lipstick in a panic. You see, if you are as gentle as her, you will have a trance moment and feel sorry for another man.

However, as many viewers imagined, they walked together enthusiastically again. At the end of the story, he started his own creative path again, ready to continue writing new novels, and she continued to live a normal life of three meals a day with her husband.

Although she still longs for a vigorous love and wants perfection, she has a husband who cares about her and loves her, and a daughter who she loves deeply. As Yang Lan said, "In marriage, there is not only love, but also loyalty, tacit understanding and unforgettable kindness." So, she chose her husband who loved her deeply.

Marriage is a choice. The most precious thing in marriage is not that you choose each other among many choices, but that you choose each other among many choices, no matter how long.

As Fu Seoul said, "A good marriage means that he has the right to get off at any time, but he never leaves, but he just doesn't want to get off after watching the scenery all the way." A good marriage is never a vine intertwined with each other, but a friendship and kindness that are not bound to each other and achieve each other. May you and I have this courage, loyalty, chivalry and kindness in marriage.

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