A few days ago, my friend Xiaojia sent me a message saying that she wanted to talk to me about relationship issues. She was very confused. At that time, I was busy communicating with the editor about the promotion of my new book, and I regretfully told her that I didn’t have time. But Xiaojia was very persistent and said she would wait for me and tell her when I was done. Then, I was so busy that when I remembered, it was already several days later. As if there was a connection, just when I was about to send her a message, she asked me on her phone if I was done? I sighed and said if you have any questions, please tell me!
In fact, I am not unfamiliar with Xiaojia’s love stories. She has told me a lot on the computer intermittently. When Xiaojia first joined the company, she fell in love with a sales manager from another company. The two went back and forth and soon established a romantic relationship. Since falling in love, Xiaojia has focused entirely on this relationship. She is from Anhui and comes from an ordinary family, but she is the only daughter in the family. She has grown up under the care of her parents since she was a child. She is not good at many things. But in order to take care of her boyfriend, she completely changed into a different person. People who are usually too lazy to wash their own clothes will pick up their boyfriend's clothes every two or three days. She also bought a lot of recipes and worked hard to learn cooking skills. Xiaojia was completely immersed in her own sweetness. We communicated more at that time, and she would report to me every day what she had done for her boyfriend yesterday. The topic she came to me with was basically "His birthday is coming soon, what do you think I should give him?" "Next week will be our first anniversary, what surprise do you think I should give him?" Maybe I am biased by nature. Reason, as she continued to talk every day, she soon felt something was wrong. I asked Xiaojia that if you do this for him every day, what does he do for you?
Xiaojia said that he cares about me very much. He calls me every morning to say good morning. He also calls me at noon to ask me what I have eaten. In the evening, he cares about whether I am busy at work. Are you tired? Do you want to work overtime at night? Every night before going to bed, he would say "I love you!" to me. Xiaojia told me with happiness on her face that her boyfriend is a very delicate and considerate man. When the weather gets cold, he will remind her to wear more clothes. When the weather is hot, he will remind her to remember to apply sunscreen. When she is tired from work, he will advise her to take a rest. Give her lots of care. I continued to ask, what has he done for you? Xiaojia said innocently: "What I just said is what he did for me. Do you think how many men can do this? Many men don't even call their girlfriends a day. I often "I heard the girls in our office complain about their boyfriends like this." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. If there were those words from Teacher Jin Xing at that time: I will tell my daughter when she grows up! If a man feels sorry for you when you squeeze into the bus, complains that you don’t eat on time, keeps reminding you to drink less and harm your health, tells you to be safe when you get home from work on rainy days, and sends funny text messages to comfort you when you are sick...please ignore him! Then be with the person who can drive you, stay with you when you are sick, take you to meals, pick you up from get off work, and tell you "Stop doing that shitty job! Come home with me"! No matter how good your words are, it is better to do something practical! We are all past the age of hearing about love! I will definitely give it to Xiaojia and let her take a good look. Xiaojia happily bathed in the sweet words of the other party, feeling that she had met true love, and was full of expectations and confidence in the future. To be fair, I never felt how much her boyfriend loved her, and I didn't even feel love, but a woman who is in love is irrational. I tactfully reminded her that she should look at people with her heart instead of her ears. Xiaojia couldn't see that I said something bad about her boyfriend, so she tried her best to defend her. I am not a person who talks sincerely, so she gave up as soon as she saw her reaction. And I don’t want to be chased by her every day asking you if he loves me very much? For me, if a man only talks but has no actual actions, I will never believe that he loves me. It’s not the reality of women today, but many women have finally understood the logic: a person who is willing to do a lot of things for you, no matter whether he does well or poorly, he definitely cares about you and really wants to be good to you; < /p>
People who only talk every day, no matter how nice the words are, if there are no practical actions to match, it is just a game under the guise of love. Xiaojia had lived happily for three years with her boyfriend's sweet words, but she had to face a real problem: she was about to run away for her third year. For Xiaojia, whether or not she takes practical actions does not prevent her from firmly believing that there is true love between the two, but marriage is her weakness. She has a very traditional concept and believes that a woman should marry herself before the age of thirty, otherwise she will have to marry someone else. The social pressure we face is too great. So, she began to ask her boyfriend when she would marry her, but her boyfriend hesitated and avoided answering, and doubled down on his sweet words. "Don't worry, baby, we will definitely be together in this life. I am lucky to meet you!" "My dear, don't be so anxious. Marriage is a lifelong event. How can we be so hasty? We Communicate slowly!" "I swear, I will marry you in this life, you are the only woman I want to marry!" With the other party's comfort and vows, Xiaojia stayed with him for another two years, but this time Two years were not as happy as the first three years. In the past five years, Xiaojia has matured more or less, and she is not like she could be dismissed with a few words at the beginning.
No matter how stupid a woman is in love, she will have innate intuition. Xiaojia feels that the other person is slowly alienating her and no longer calls her several times a day like before. But whenever she asked, the other party would tell her categorically: "Fool, don't think about it too much. How could I ignore you? I'm very busy at work recently. I must do my job well so that we can have a better future." Future, you have to understand me and support me!" When she was helpless and confused, Xiaojia thought of me. She asked me: "Do you think he loves me?", just like she asked me five years ago. I sighed and said, "No matter how I answer you will not be satisfied. If I say I love you, you will ask me why he has not married you for so long. If I say I don't love you, you will give many examples to disprove it." My point of view, so you have to ask yourself this question." But Xiaojia insisted on my answer. I said the answer is obvious. Ask yourself, apart from sweet words, what else has he done for you over the years? Nothing. Understood.
Many girls often tell me with regret how beautiful and lasting their love is, how touching it is, but now they have to break up, love is too fragile. After listening to it, I only had one feeling: Girl, I believe you are really here for love and have paid a lot for "love", but in fact, it is just your love alone, and the other party has never entered the role. You are moved by your own love, but you don't know that it is just the love you imagined and has nothing to do with real love. How many women cry bitterly when they are broken up in love, lingering on their past relationships and constantly asking why he doesn’t cherish our relationship at all? That's because you think you've met true love, but in fact you haven't. Your feelings about this relationship are completely different. If you truly love someone, how can you leave him so easily? Because you have never entered his heart, you can be so free and easy when he leaves. What exists between you is not love, but an inexplicable need.
Dear, you must understand: If a man has the heart to watch you suffer without being indifferent, knows that you want to marry him but delays it in every possible way, he will still be heartbroken and sad when he sees you. If you go your own way and know what you want but do nothing, then he must not love you! What you call beautiful memories and pure love are just the illusion of love created by you alone. They are completely different from true love. Please share it so that more people can see it. Finally, I hope every woman can find her true love.