Go your own way and say whatever you want. ...

Give me a catty of watermelon and weigh it on time.

Scientists know martial arts, but even immortals can't stop them.

No one who doesn't know him has ever eaten pork.

I haven't eaten for days, and everyone looks like pancakes.

Listen to cross talk for twenty, and make a noise of sixteen thousand. Laugh and add money ...

Just then, Bush's pager rang in English.

Do they have a family style? If you don't pick things up in the aisle, you will lose them. ...

Your shameless appearance has my youthful charm.

You have a good physique. I can see at a glance that you will live to death.

The young man looks like an actor with his face covered. ...

The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear underneath.

Last time I drank too much, I used chopsticks as chicken feet and ate one and a half.

"Dad, I'm hungry!" "Hungry again, didn't you eat last year?"

Poke a noodle lock and it will open, and a pack of instant noodles can open a community.

I threw the shot so far, the coach said, it doesn't count if people go out!

Don't leave after the party. I'll treat you to dinner, and whoever goes will pay.

Isn't that blonde? ) nonsense, it's blonde, with your eyes closed.

This brain is as big as a pine nut. When you open your skull, you can cook it in a bowl.

Would you like to listen? Are you willing to listen or are you willing to listen? I will never insist.

Oh! He grinned at me! You think I dare not stew you. If we had a pot at home, I would stew you.

Come to heaven, the buildings here are beautiful, and there are signs on both sides: no stalls around heaven 100 meters!

If you want a hamburger, wrap a piece of paper and open it. Want to eat crabs, uncover them; Want to drink milk, take the steamed bread and pull it. ...

The story told today is not far from now. If you have an old man at home, you can go back and ask, during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period. ...

I buy 50 good cars-Alto, Alto, Alto ...! Get up with a dart and drive like a train!

A senior successfully robbed 6.5438+0.83 million yuan in cash. At 5: 40 pm, when * * arrived, it was still blocked with the North Third Ring Road.

Nothing can stop his door, nothing can stop his lock, only the bank security lock. He can find a celery and poke it open.

We got lost halfway, and he took out a bunch of instruments and pointed them at the needles in the southeast, northwest and northwest ... I said you were all behind, so we had to take advanced measures and throw shoes.

Ten years in primary school and twelve years in middle school. I was named the most familiar face in the school. When the new teacher came, he asked me the inside story of the school. ...

I ordered shark fin fried rice, but I couldn't find shark fin in three pairs of chopsticks. Can you tell me where the shark fin is? The chef said, my name is shark fin.

Give 40 steamed buns, 80 Jin of pancakes and fry two copies of this recipe-there are many ways to commit suicide, which is too bad for food.

The old man is in good health, but his mouth is full of teeth, only one tooth is left, and his teeth are blocked when he eats ... He eats lotus root and puts it in his mouth.

Tian Erfei ran down the road with his head down and went. He picked up his head and had a little contest with this stone ... Tian Er lost.

Jumping off a building is too dangerous. I studied it. The twentieth floor and the second floor have different effects. The second floor is bang, ah! Twentieth floor. Yeah ~ ~ ~ Bang! high-tech

Don't hit him or scold him. Just asking for money, so we can discuss it. But to put it bluntly, more than 100 yuan can kill the ticket.

Law-abiding and melancholy, singing hard every night. Riding a mule harms others, is honest and fair, and is hungry. Building bridges and roads is blind, and there are many people who kill and set fires. I went to the Western Heaven to ask my Buddha, and the Buddha said-no way.

You know my appetite, especially I don't like roast duck. I can't eat after eating four. After baking the cakes, I can't eat them when I roll them up one by one ... I really can't eat them. I have to eat when I get home later.

There are four dishes on the table. Open the first one. Oh! Very good! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the second one, even better! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the third one, peanuts, no vinegar! The fourth one looks like a plate of vinegar!

After taking part in the work, I can earn 300 thousand yuan ... I looked at the drawings and built a 40-meter chimney, all of which were covered. My family came to see me, beat me up, and the drawings fell down, so I had to dig a well.

There is a frying pan under Baotang, and the children take the frying pan with steel forks from the people who have just died. One person goes down, two people go down together and fry in four directions ... )

Everyone has a plasma TV, so I got one and asked my friend to save it. As big as a wall, Motorola brand … looks empty, and the TV rings: the TV you are watching is not in the service area … what's the point? This 300 yuan is not wasted.

I was introduced to a girlfriend. It's beautiful. Her face looks like a car accident scene.

He is rich and drives a 13 Cadillac. You can tell by the sound that it is a good machine, imported from Germany, "chug chug", (triple jump? There is only one driver in the front row, and the steering wheel is different from others. It is usually round. He is made of pure silver, long and bent at both ends. Oh, three jumps. At first, half of Beijing was smoking black smoke, and the traffic police shouted at you, "Elder Sun, take away the divine power."

Do you have a two-foot lobster? Sorry, there is nothing two feet long, only two feet two. What stupid restaurant doesn't even have a two-foot lobster? Eat a plate of shredded potatoes.

He scolds me, I take a step back, he scolds me again, I take a step back, there is a wall behind, he still scolds, hit ya! ! ~~

Which school did you graduate from? I'm from Tsinghua! Tsinghua pool? Well, tsinghua pool takes a bath! You said it belonged to Hufang Bridge!

"There is good news and bad news, which do you listen to?" "What's the bad news?" "We are lost. I don't know this place. It is estimated that we can only live by cow dung in the future. " "What's the good news?" "Cow dung have a plenty of! ! "

I want to eat in a restaurant. Do you have any chicken? Attendant: Shh! I am!

Take a taxi ... we don't get six points, we get two points! ! I don't sit in the front. I have to pay for sitting in the front! !

Today is a good day, beginning of autumn, and it's another day to stick on autumn fat. I ate four or two vegetarian fried cakes at noon today, and I believe everyone posted autumn fat.

How dare you join the beggar's gang! Dressed up very well!

===========================

There is also a master summary:

Although the overall quality of this year's Spring Festival Gala is not high, with fake applause and black minutes, it is still very interesting to carefully review the lines of some language programs, which may become a buzzword for some time in 2007. Let's sum it up. Perhaps the summary is not comprehensive enough or some are not popular enough, please point out more!

Things in our village

I am not a villager, I am in Haidian and have a temporary residence permit!

You can lift me up and water the flowers.

Look at Zhao Wei's eyes, Jackie Chan's nose and Feng Gong's spine ... It's over ... It's an advertisement for the sheep scorpion.

Your spirit is outstanding, your deeds are outstanding, and your lumbar intervertebral disc is also outstanding. ...

After all, I am an animal on land. You can't treat me like a toad. .....

Tanggula Mountain, where is it? Sounds familiar. Not far, from Beijing, along the Qinghai-Tibet Railway, you can reach the last slope.

Climbing back to Mount Everest also made Comrade Changjiang feel the feeling of a giant! !

toll-free call

Your mobile phone is free? Your mobile phone is free? Guys, he's a liar. ....

The soldier bit that guy. All right, let's find a place to get an injection.

Free meters ... run faster than Liu Xiang when installed. ....

Free refrigerator ... eggs were put in and six chicks hatched.

Your hair needs washing. ...

Yes, it's healthier. ...

Your hair is standing on end.

I choose, I like.

Why?

It's good to be a woman.

give sb a gift/present

I bought jiaozi to visit my grandmother. What to buy? Buy grandma .....

I went there.

Fuck you. ....

Every successful leader has a beautiful daughter at home.

Every successful leader has a shiny bald head.

Every successful leader has a clever daughter.

Thank my people, I thank him. ....

A mother is bald and a father is bald.

Toad lying on the road disguised as a camouflage jeep.

Toads can't even open their mouths when they drink glue.

Toad puts a feather duster to pretend to be a big-tailed wolf!

Your baldness is success.

He showed his head on purpose.

Have a problem with light bulbs

Carry love through to the end

Comrade Changjiang said: It is estimated that we will catch up with Yao Ming next year. Every year, he is teased like this ... Comrade Changjiang is generous. ...

MUUUUUA ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You rob me of watching TV every day.

I don't like watching cartoons. ....

I would rather believe that there are ghosts in this world than men's broken mouths.

I wonder how I married a female ghost like you, when I was a broken mouth.

Will such a thing happen to me?

test

Beijing Olympic Games in 2008, pregnant in 2007.

Married men know that at home, the daughter-in-law is the commission for discipline inspection.

This test is very simple. With a flick of a finger.

It is too difficult for older young people to fall in love, even more difficult than talking about the six-party talks!

Afraid of being scolded? Not afraid of being scolded, not afraid of being beaten!

What kind of eyes? You didn't take Dr. Lun with you when you went out, did you?

Why are you playing so hard? I screwed steel bars at the construction site.

In order to find a good son-in-law, it is worthwhile to do some destructive experiments on my head.

A bad daughter-in-law is a bomb around her, and a good daughter-in-law is a bunker around her.

It is very important to evaluate your son-in-law Remember to wear a helmet.

go home

There are two roads in front of you, one is to take me home, and the other is to take me home.

My home is in the northeast.

Why don't you go to the hospital and see who I am? outer city wall

I coaxed vegetables into animals.

What about the scar on your wrist? The baby gave birth to it. ....

People give nicknames, husbands.

That's a beauty mole. My daughter-in-law said she looked like a matchmaker, so she ordered it closed.

I made a mistake. That's a mole and I have a sore. Now it's hemorrhoids.

Is bed six born? What the hell was born? How could I give birth without biting?

I spoiled him.

Has a celebrity like you ever bathed?

The water is not dirty, but it is quite rich.

Upstairs, someone helped me take a bath. I didn't take off my clothes.

The ground is covered with yellow dead branches.

What happened to my dog?

plan

The local station is good, don't let Trina broadcast it, it's not reliable.

Zhao Benshan: You old woman's mouth is like a cotton trousers waist.

Song Dandan: What's the matter?

Zhao Benshan: How about loose?

Gee, this guy is so talented.

If you don't fry it, it will be red when you stew it.

How to mix in the poultry industry

A rooster that lays eggs, a fighter among roosters

The rooster lay eggs happened in our house. That doesn't mean telling others that I'm pregnant.

Honey, you are so talented.

I don't remember the exact date. If you want to know the details, please log on to the Baiyun Piaodian blog site com.

Zhao Benshan: There were no signs at that time, which was impossible-chickens were particularly contradictory at that time.

A rooster, it wants to lay eggs, not its job, it wants to do it.

What is the rooster thinking? What does the duck think? What does the goose think? What does the little hen who has been with it think?

What do people call a rooster when it hatches a chick? Call dad, call mom, or call aunt, call aunt?

I can't lay eggs, but I'm scared, so ...

Song Dandan: It has strengthened its faith and laid its own eggs. Let others talk about it.

Niu: Uncle and aunt, where did it lay its eggs?

Song Dandan: I'm asking you, where did it go?

Zhao Benshan: He was under a lot of pressure. Sorry, he just strolled to the henhouse, but he couldn't.

I'm in the duck cage again. I can't do it. Then I couldn't hold it any longer, so I found a kennel and laid eggs.

Bull: Dog kennel? How did you find out?

Song Dandan: It was discovered by paparazzi. In the past, the chicken aisle stood tall and majestic;

Since the male eggs laid eggs, the walkway has been changed, and it has been changed to this way (starting to imitate the rooster walkway), and the chicken's claws can be scratched hard.

I didn't understand it at first, but it took me a long time to figure it out. I'm practicing signing.

From the heart

Others compare with my parents, and I will compare with others tomorrow.