Mother-in-law is not mother. This is not empty talk, nor is it swearing. This is a very wise statement. Smart people can often see the mystery. It is to teach mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to respect each other, not to neglect each other.
Mother-in-law should not neglect her daughter-in-law, but start with her thoughts. If the mother-in-law has a daughter, at least there can be no double standards. Don't think that it is a kind of happiness to have your daughter married and your in-laws to serve you. On the other hand, I think a daughter-in-law is lazy if she doesn't cook or do housework.
Even if there is no contrast between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, even for sons and daughters-in-law, mother-in-law often has double standards. Faced with this situation, the attitude as a husband is very important.
0 1
Zhang Xiaotu and Zhou Bin have been married for more than three years. They rented a house before buying a house, so their mother-in-law has been in her hometown, and there is naturally no contradiction between her mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law.
The husband and wife discuss what they want to eat and do every day. Later, the two felt that they were old and ready to have a child.
If you want children, you must want a house. Do it. The two old people helped to get some money, and they collected the down payment.
Because it was a second-hand house, they didn't need much decoration, so they moved in. Unexpectedly, a few months later, my mother-in-law retired, saying that she was bored and simply came to help cook. Zhang Xiaotu deliberately refused, but could not say anything.
After her mother-in-law came, she moved quickly. Needless to say, Zhang Xiaotu and Zhou Bin don't have to worry about housework anymore. But Zhang Xiaotu didn't relax too much, because her mother-in-law was too talkative and talked about Zhang Xiaotu.
This is the problem of unclear boundaries between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Mother-in-law is not mother. You can nag your daughter, and she won't take it to heart. But if you nag your daughter-in-law, people will take it to heart and feel very sad for such a day.
02
One day, Zhang Xiaotu brought a new dress home, and her mother-in-law said that she was spending money indiscriminately, so she might as well buy something to eat.
When Zhang Xiaotu goes shopping, her mother-in-law will nag her that she never looks at the price tag and will not be frugal. When Zhang Xiaotu looks at the label, her mother-in-law will say that what she bought is not fresh.
In short, her mother-in-law is always right, which makes Zhang Xiaotu very depressed. Fortunately, Zhou Bin will coax Zhang Xiaotu, and Zhang Xiaotu will try not to conflict with her mother-in-law.
However, the contradiction still happened. That night, my mother-in-law cooked a good barbecue, which was really delicious. Zhang Xiaotu himself is a foodie. He accidentally took a few more bites, and there was not much meat. At this time, my mother-in-law couldn't help but say, "Daughter-in-law, you look fat. Leave the meat to my son!"
Zhang Xiaotu was originally a chubby person, with a height of 162 and a weight of 107kg, but it must be uncomfortable to hear her mother-in-law say so.
But I still don't know how to say it. At this time, Zhou Bin, who had been eating silently, suddenly said, "Mom, she took the living expenses."
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When Zhang Xiaotu didn't know the situation, her mother-in-law suddenly said she was full, and then she went back to her room to rest.
In the evening, Zhang Xiaotu quietly asked Zhou Bin, clearly he took the living expenses, why did he say he took it himself?
Zhou Bin said with a smile, don't you know? In a family, the economic base determines the family status. In fact, my mother is not a bad heart, just a little nagging. It takes a little strategy to completely shut my mother up. Just watch.
Stop it. The next day, my mother-in-law cooked breakfast and specially made steamed buns that rabbits like to eat. Needless to say, in the following days, her mother-in-law really stopped nagging, and Zhang Xiaotu stopped saying anything and enjoyed this quiet day.
Of course, Zhang Xiaotu is also good to her mother-in-law. She occasionally takes her mother-in-law around and buys her some clothes. Unconsciously, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is getting better and better.
Although Zhang Xiaotu knows that it is inconvenient to live with her mother-in-law, non-interference is the best state.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may not get along well from the beginning. If handled properly, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not appear. If handled improperly, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may further intensify. In the meantime, the role of the husband is very important. It's not a good idea to just muddle along. In this story, the husband is a very clever husband. He turned Gan Kun around in just one sentence, and he has to say that he is a clever husband.
Of course, in a family, family problems cannot be completely judged by right or wrong. It may not matter who is wrong. What matters is how to solve the contradiction. The husband loves his wife and helps her. Mother-in-law loves her son and chooses to be good to her daughter-in-law. This kind of life will be happier and happier. In life, if my mother-in-law makes things difficult for her daughter-in-law, as a son, I think I can at least do three things:
1, try to separate mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If you have to live under one roof, protect your wife and don't let your mother slander her.
2. Tell my mother that in this family, my wife has a high income and pays a lot, which makes my mother feel that without this daughter-in-law, the family will not live a good life now. Only when the husband values his wife can the mother-in-law not see her daughter-in-law.
Any mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problem can't be solved overnight. If there is a contradiction, solve it on the same day. To solve the problem, we must cure the problem and treat the symptoms. Don't let a contradiction entangle and affect family harmony.