From the records of women in many documents in Ming and Qing Dynasties, it can be found that the vast majority of widows at that time were between 14 and 30 years old. This age group is a period of intense emotion and sexual demand for women, who are very eager for the caress of the opposite sex both physically and psychologically. However, due to the evil of feudal society, widows were forced to look at "sex", which destroyed the formation and development of their normal personality.
Widowhood is painful and long. In order to resist unbearable loneliness and emotional hunger, women have taken various measures, even set some inhuman barriers for themselves, trying to make themselves reach a state of no desire like a dead well. From the perspective of modern people, it is really unbearable.
Some widows don't want to leave home after losing their spouses, and try to reduce communication with the outside world, especially with the opposite sex. Ming Taizu recorded a tragic story. For example, Li Hu of Quexian County became a widow at the age of 25 and vowed never to leave home. One day, the neighbor's house caught fire and the family rushed to save her, but she gave the 7-year-old boy to her sister-in-law, and then "sat in the fire with the 3-year-old girl in her arms and died", preferring to die rather than leave the house.
For example, it has been recorded in Guangzhou Fuzhi that during the Jiajing period of the Ming Dynasty, Huang Zhu of Nanhai County, Guangdong Province was widowed at an early age. She "abides by etiquette" and never leaves the hall at home, so she was called "madam" at that time.
Some widows can't stand loneliness and are eager to remarry, but this is not allowed in feudal society. For example, during the Jingtai period of the Ming Dynasty, a widow in Hebei tried to remarry, and her family was ashamed of it. It is extremely cruel for the patriarch to lead his people to "join the group and kill them".
Some widows, after losing their spouses, devote themselves to business to accumulate wealth and relieve loneliness. According to Gaomi County Records, during the Qianlong period, Fu Shan, a widow of Gaomi County, kept the festival for 3 1 year, and "managed her family successfully", which made her "family property five times as much as her native place" and became a well-known rich woman and strong woman.
Some widows can't stand loneliness and emotional hunger, and often take the initiative to pursue human desires. The Notes of the Qing Dynasty recorded such a thing: Zhao Rongjiang, a scholar, was hired to teach at Lu's home, a widow in Dongcheng. One night, while Zhao Rongjiang was studying, Lu knocked at the door and said, "Sir, sleeping alone is very lonely. It's a beautiful night, so let me sleep with you. " Regardless of whether Lu's behavior is moral or not, she shows a normal woman's desire for sex, which is a powerful testimony to the strong sexual needs of most widows at that time.
In addition, in order to restrain the desire of * * *, some widows will try to relieve their psychological and physical pain by cutting off their hair, cutting off their fingers and committing suicide. However, some people have no choice but to adopt * * *, adultery, remarriage and other ways to achieve physical satisfaction, such as Pan Jinlian in Jin Ping Mei. This is recorded in the literature and is not listed one by one.
Generally speaking, the life of widows in Ming and Qing Dynasties was miserable, lonely and lonely, which revealed the double oppression of traditional society on the physical and mental health of this vulnerable group. You can also get a glimpse of women's social life in the Ming and Qing Dynasties.
The concept of chastity in ancient society In ancient society, women's chastity is often more important than saving their lives. The so-called conservative chastity means that women never have sex with men or only have sex with legal relationship (the only husband), otherwise it is "losing their virginity". "Infidelity" includes premarital sex, extramarital sex, remarriage and being * * * and so on. This situation only applies to women, not to men. The relationship between a man and a woman other than his wife can only be described as "immoral" at best, but no one calls it "infidelity". The concept of chastity is a statute designed by men for women in ancient society.
From this point of view, the concept of chastity from scratch is a great progress in human history, which plays an important historical role in breaking the sexual relationship between group marriage and hybridization, consolidating monogamous families and enabling future generations to reproduce healthily and normally. At the same time, it is a shackle unilaterally imposed on women. Since its formation, the concept of chastity has become increasingly concentrated and intensified, gradually becoming the highest social responsibility of women, and at the same time becoming a very cruel mental oppression and physical abuse of women, which needs to be criticized and denied. This is just like the formation of private ownership and the subsequent oppression and exploitation. Compared with primitive society, it is a great progress in the development of human history, but it will still be criticized and eliminated now and in the future.
After the establishment of monogamy, especially under the feudal system, patriarchal individual families based on self-sufficient small-scale peasant economy finally formed. Because such a family is single and closed, it will inevitably highlight the status of male-dominated parents in the family, and women have further become the "forbidden" and accessories of men, and no one can get their hands on them. At the same time, the establishment of patriarchal clan system makes people pay more attention to the continuation of incense and the inheritance of future generations. In order to ensure that children come from their own blood, the concept of chastity has been further strengthened and even reached an alarming level.