I am probably a bit weird. After graduating from graduate school, I did not choose a so-called good job, such as a civil service or public institution. Instead, I did something unrelated to my major. I followed my heart and worked in a startup company. , did English training, then resigned at the end of his 20s, gave himself a gap year, and fulfilled his dream of wandering. He went to the United States to study alone, went to Australia for a working holiday, went to Cambodia to volunteer, and went to a temple to learn meditation. Want to hear my gap year story?

About 2 years ago, I saw an article written by DENNY Cow, the founder of Lechun Yogurt, about his experience of participating in a 10-day Vipassana course, and I became curious and yearning. After searching online, I found that Xiamen also has one, so I silently added it to my dream list. But there has never been a suitable opportunity to participate. It was not until this gap year that I finally had the time to do it!

Unfortunately, Nanchan Temple in Xiamen no longer holds Vipassana courses, so I had no choice but to sign up for Nanchan Temple in Changting. On the day the registration opened, I worked on a farm in Australia. I quickly signed up on my mobile phone half an hour after the opening, but there were no more places. I only applied for the waiting list. Fortunately, someone must have withdrawn later, and I got the chance to become a full-timer. . However, the competition among women is fierce, and it is easier for men to sign up.

At this time, I have forgotten the content of DENNY’s article, and I don’t know what Vipassana is specifically. I want to say that I can stay away from the world, let myself talk to my heart, and get along well with myself. As the end of the gap year, after looking out at the world, "going inward" would be a good ending.

2018.4.11-2018.4.22

I reported to Nanzen Temple in the afternoon. When I got off the bus, I met two male practitioners who enthusiastically helped me carry my luggage. I was very grateful. . After a brief chat, one of them came here for the second time. When we arrived at the registration area, men and women began to be separated. After completing the formalities, I posted the last message to friends for retreat, handed over my mobile wallet, and came to the dormitory.

Oh, the conditions are pretty good. A neat and clean double room with everything you need. There are also some slippers, soap and other supplies downstairs that you can pick up yourself. The center is really thoughtful. And all the details in the next ten days also made me deeply feel the maturity and thoughtfulness of the operation of the Vipassana Center.

After a while, our roommate came, and we took the last chance to talk. She is from Shenzhen, and she came on paid leave~ because their boss also came to Vipassana and benefited a lot, so Encourage company partners to also participate. I also want a boss like this~ It’s dinner time at 6 o’clock. This is our last slightly sumptuous dinner. The next dinner is only fruit and lemonade. Everyone eats noodles and starts to listen to the recording of the code of conduct in the cafeteria. .

During Vipassana, new students must observe five precepts:

During these ten days, we must live a monk-like life, eat vegetarian food, cannot speak, look or gesture, or There is no physical contact with others, and you cannot read, write, or exercise. If you have daily needs, you can write a note to the purser. For me, who is not very good at socializing, I think it shouldn’t be difficult to ban speech. Be prepared and start to welcome the silent life! Next, our first experience of meditation begins. Entering the meditation hall, everyone has their own seat, cushion and blanket. The cushion is thick, there is a pillow under the buttocks, and the hardware is good. No matter what happens, sitting quietly for more than 10 hours a day cannot avoid pain.

Start playing the recording. The ten-day course is conducted by playing the recordings of Indian teacher Goenka, plus Chinese translation recordings. Goenka is the teacher who promoted Vipassana to the world. , the center has two assistant teachers, a male and a female, who accompany practitioners every day and answer students' questions.

We followed the teacher and recited the Pali text that we did not understand, indicating that we would take refuge, that is, we would abide by the precepts, and ask for the method of Vipassana. The first meditation began. Goenka's Pali chanting was played at the beginning and end of the meditation. It sounded like an out-of-tune song. I thought maybe the teacher was singing randomly, haha. I have tried meditation several times before, but I couldn't calm down. My heart was too noisy!

It is indeed the same this time. In the past few days, we were asked to observe our breathing, which is the anapana method. We should focus on breathing and do not have other thoughts. However, within ten seconds, there must be something in our mind. Other thoughts would pop up, and it was so difficult. I kept reminding myself to focus, but sometimes I would have been immersed in my own thoughts for a while before I realized that I had wandered off. At 9 o'clock, you can go back to rest. When we returned to the dormitory, my roommates and I washed and slept silently, with a sense of freshness. I hadn't gone to bed so early in a long time, and I had some insomnia...

4 o'clock The bell rang, it was time to get up. It was so early, and after only sleeping for 6 hours, I was naturally very sleepy. I quickly brushed my teeth, washed my face and went downstairs. It was still dark, so I arrived at the meditation hall in the darkness and began to meditate. This is our schedule for the next few days:

From 4:30 to 6:30, we have to sit for two hours. And when I was sleepy and dazed, the time I spent actually observing my breathing was probably less than 20 minutes.

And in the meditation hall, I couldn't see the time, and I kept thinking, how long will it take... Finally, the sound of singing sounded, and I thought to myself, great, it's almost over! As a result, this singing lasted only half an hour...it turned out that the singing before the end of the first meditation session every morning lasted about half an hour. Every time the teacher dragged out the last note, I thought it was about to end, but a new section of singing came...

Finally it was time to have breakfast. The food here was really good, although it was all It's vegetarian, but there are many kinds. Breakfast and lunch also come with nuts and fruits, which are nutritious and delicious. After breakfast, I took a walk. The two small open spaces in front of and behind the dormitory building were the scope of our activities for the past ten days. After the walk, I went back to the dormitory and slept for a while.

Next is the second session. The teacher said at the end that the freshmen can go back to the room to practice. That’s great. We went back to the room. I sat on the bed and lazily didn’t use the cross-legged posture. It didn’t take long. I fell asleep again. The Dharma Master even came in to see us, probably for an inspection, so I quickly sat down. Unfortunately, I only had this kind of treatment on the first day, and spent the rest of the day practicing in the meditation hall.

Dharma workers are the volunteers who have served the course during these ten days. They are all old students who have participated in the course. They want to share the benefits gained from Vipassana with others, so they are willing to provide free services to new students. Service as a reward for Vipassana. I am really grateful to them. I have felt their endless selfless love in these ten days. People who have nothing to do with you are willing to sacrifice for you. I can't help but be deeply touched. Although they have not spoken to each other, they all look very kind.

Next came lunch and lunch break, and then another afternoon of meditation. Although we were not required to maintain the same posture in the previous three days, I wanted to be more meditative, so I tried not to move. I could probably sit still for 30 minutes on the first day, but even though my body didn't move, my mind was still restless, with all kinds of thoughts popping up, including trivial matters in life, people and things from previous trips, worries about the future, etc...

Every evening at 7 o'clock, there will be a teacher's lecture, that is, a recording will be played, introducing the Vipassana course and the inner thoughts and principles it contains. This is my favorite time, when I can sit relaxedly, and I finally understand the mystery of Vipassana little by little. Vipassana originated from the Buddha in India 2,500 years ago. It is one of the oldest physical and mental training methods. It starts by observing natural breathing to improve concentration. Through practice, you can observe your body feelings truthfully to understand the changing changes in your body and mind. essence, in order to develop methods to improve personal qualities and enhance the harmony of life.

After the lecture, sit quietly for half an hour and then you can rest. If you have any questions, you can also ask the assistant teacher in the meditation hall. I still have a bit of insomnia, maybe my biological clock hasn't jumped yet, and the pillows here are so hard. If you want to go, you can probably bring your own pillow.

I also got up early and began to meditate. I spent the mornings of the previous few days in a daze. When I was observing my breathing, I still had various thoughts popping up, but I discovered that there were also subtle differences in my breathing. Maybe the breath came in from the left nostril, maybe it came in from the right nostril, but after observing for a long time, I didn’t find any. I found that the temperature of the breath is different after going in and out. The breath inhaled will be cooler than the breath out. I only found out after listening to the teacher's guidance. How little we know about our bodies! The next day, I was able to sit still for about 45 minutes, and I had a magical feeling. After sitting for a long time, my body began to heat up. My right leg was painful, but my lower body felt like it was stuck and I didn’t want to move. It seemed like I could sit like this all the time. Go on...

There will be all kinds of delusions when sitting in meditation. Often irrelevant thoughts pop up one after another, allowing us to see how crazy our hearts are! We cannot control our own minds. These thoughts are either about the past or the future. We just don’t want to live well in the present. Among these delusions, I remembered some people and things that I had forgotten, some old friends, and I really wanted to contact them after I went out. It turns out that watching the breath can also open your brain.

On the third day, I had the same feeling as the second day. I kept still for more than half an hour. Although my legs hurt, I didn’t want to move. After the fever passed, I felt like a dark curtain was drawn down in front of my eyes. The feeling of being completely closed (meditation originally requires the eyes to be closed), and the eyes are getting darker. This is probably the result of long-term concentration. After two days of practice, I can maintain concentration for a longer period of time.

Today, the teacher asked us to narrow the scope of observation, but I can’t seem to observe any feelings. During the question and answer time in the evening, I asked the teacher what should I do if I don’t feel anything? The teacher said that if there is no feeling, there is no feeling. Yes, you can't pursue feelings. This is also a kind of greed. All you have to do is observe and accept the actual situation. The assistant teachers all exude a tranquil and detached temperament, which is probably the result of long-term meditation practice. There is an aura that is self-evident, and they can sit there without moving all the time. It is really amazing! One student asked the teacher, "Doesn't the teacher feel any pain?" The teacher said: "Teacher, it hurts too, but my legs hurt, but my heart doesn't hurt." Greed and hatred will make us suffer. Greed is craving for pleasant feelings, and we feel pain when we don't get them. Hatred is hating what we don't have. Feelings of pleasure, anger and sadness. When it comes to leg pain, understand that all feelings are impermanent and will arise and disappear.

Today I will start teaching real Vipassana.

The Anapana method learned in the previous three days is mainly to cultivate our concentration. My understanding is concentration, which is the basis for practicing Vipassana. Vipassana is the stage of wisdom. Wisdom cannot only rely on listening or thinking, but must be practiced personally, which is to cultivate wisdom.

To put it simply, Vipassana is to observe the feelings of each part of the body from head to toe and then from toes to head, making our mind more sensitive, cultivating our consciousness ability, and being able to notice the appearance and disappearance of feelings. Because the body's perception is the connection with the outside world, the feelings of external things will be reflected in the body. When you can feel your body, you can sense the changes in emotions, and then observe it instead of being controlled by it. No more trapped in pain.

Observing the whole body is a huge new task. I feel very excited. Finally, I don’t have to just observe the boring breathing. At the beginning, my speed was very slow. In some places, I couldn't even feel it and couldn't find its feeling. You can also try it after reading this. Can you feel every part of your body? It turns out that we are so ignorant about our bodies.

Starting from the fifth day, there will be three very arduous tasks every day, that is, there will be three meditation times every day, each time for an hour. You must meditate resolutely and cannot change your posture. Can't open eyes. The meditation hall is very quiet when meditating, so quiet that there are only the sounds of sniffing, burping, coughing, the friction of clothes, and, oh, the sound of farting haha. During the hour of determined meditation, it was unusually quiet. The first time I tried it, I failed. The pain in my right leg was unbearable, so I changed my position. Resolute meditation is not to torture yourself, but to cultivate equanimity. You can maintain equanimity with unpleasant physical feelings and not expect them to disappear quickly. The second and third time, I succeeded, and gradually I could feel more parts of my body.

I found an empty seat today. Who ran away midway? Later I heard that the girl’s family thought she had been deceived into a pyramid scheme and kept calling the center to ask for her release. Well, thinking about it, I am very grateful that my parents did not obstruct my choice even though they did not understand what I was doing by joining this program. .

Sometimes I still feel sleepy in the morning. During the lecture, the teacher said that sleepiness is also a big enemy of Vipassana. You can go out to breathe, rest for 5 minutes to wake yourself up, and then come back to continue. I told myself that I could not be defeated by the enemy. When I was very sleepy, I would go out for a drink of water and take a walk. It was really useful. Sometimes I couldn’t persist blindly.

The sixth day was also a very meaningful day. It was the first time to complete three determined sit-ins. I can also observe various parts of my body more smoothly. There is a pleasant micro-current-like feeling in some places, while the right leg is still painful and numb, but it seems to be less painful.

At the end of the course, I started to feel a little restless. The daily life was so monotonous, except for eating and sleeping, I just sat quietly, looking forward to the day when I could go back. The teacher seems to understand the psychology of the students very well. There is a sentence on the notice board today: Persistent practice is the only secret to success. Keep up the good work~

After one hour of meditation, although I can still feel the pain in my right leg, it is getting easier. Vipassana requires you to straighten your back. I always have a hunchback when I sit. Through Vipassana, I remind myself to straighten my back more often. Unexpectedly, it cured my hunchback.

There is still some restlessness, and you can feel that everyone is gradually unable to sit still. You can often hear the sound of other people leaving the meditation hall to walk outside or drink water. When I sit quietly, sometimes I will observe the painful right leg. Sometimes it jumps and jumps, sometimes it feels numb, but there are also a few moments when I feel that it does not hurt. This is a kind of progress. All inner perceptions are constantly arising and passing away, impermanent, and impermanent.

When I returned to the dormitory at night, I stood side by side with my roommate and applied skin care products. People living in the same room had no communication at all. Suddenly, I felt a bit like a cold war couple. I thought it was a bit funny, haha.

Today’s guidance mentioned that by the end of Vipassana, you can not only perceive the feelings on the surface of the body, but also the feelings inside the body, achieving a kind of ablation, and there is a micro-current inside and outside the body. feelings, and there are layers of stages between them. I started to try to see if I could feel the penetration, but it was a bit difficult. After listening to the teacher's question and answer in the evening, I realized that I was greedy again. This is an obsession that Vipassana practitioners easily fall into. I haven't reached the point where I feel like the current is flowing all over my body, so I can't take the next step. Vipassana is a very personal experience, and there is no need to pursue a certain state. It is just a process.

After the first repair session in the morning, I can talk and get my phone back! After 9 days without a mobile phone, I seemed to have gotten used to it and was not in a hurry. When I got my mobile phone back, it felt so strange and my typing became so slow.

After holding it in for nine days, everyone began to communicate enthusiastically, but I had no desire to speak. Only then did I realize that there were several male and female couples who came together. There was a pair of girls who were pregnant, and there were also parents who had been here and thought it was a good idea to call their daughters. There was also a 70-year-old grandfather in the male group who had been here several times. , Vipassana seems to have cured one of his diseases. I heard from the assistant teacher that an 80-year-old man came to participate, which was really impressive! It must be difficult for their bodies to sit still for so long.

Today Goenka taught the final method - compassion, which means that we must develop a kind of great love, love for all living beings, pure love, for example, we use money to donate, as a practice Work is to teach people to be kind. The reason why Vipassana is free to participate in is also because of this, and it cannot have a hint of utilitarianism.

After getting my phone back, I had contact with the outside world and felt that my heart had flown outside. But on the morning of the last day, I was still a little reluctant to leave. The meditation hall always exudes a sacred atmosphere. After I go back, there will never be such a good atmosphere for meditating. I must cherish this last meditation. After the class was over, everyone cleaned up in groups to give students a clean and tidy environment for the next course. Then I left the Vipassana Center and when I walked out of the door, my heart was filled with peace and tranquility.

I was also very lucky. I met the fellow practitioner I had met when I came here, and another fellow practitioner. We were on the same train. We walked around Changting Ancient City together and had a great time talking. , and then return.

After returning home, my father was at home, and I thanked him for allowing me to participate in Vipassana. On the tenth day, I received a phone call from my father soon after I got my mobile phone, because I told him that I could contact him that day. He said he was a little worried too, so he called me on time. When I answered the phone, I just thought it was a coincidence. I didn't realize that this was also my father's love for me. In fact, I usually don’t express my gratitude and love to my parents. Vipassana has made me feel more peaceful and softer.

I feel like today is particularly beautiful.

In the few days after returning home, I insisted on meditating for about half an hour every day. However, without the atmosphere of the meditation hall, I did feel less peaceful, especially since there were always all kinds of worldly distractions in my heart. If I have the chance, I would like to take my family with me next time.

I think the biggest gain is that it allows me to stay aware of my body and emotions, and to view pleasant and unpleasant things more equally. In fact, the source of all pain is yourself, not the outside world. What the outside world gives you is a gift, but you can choose to accept it or not. Remember, be an observer and don’t get attached to any feelings.

Everything I say here is my personal feeling and understanding. Vipassana is a very profound method that you must experience and explore for yourself. Goenkaji also said that it is not a religion and can be learned by people of any faith. However, one should not blindly believe in it. It must be judged and understood through one's own practice.

May all living beings enjoy true peace!

This article is a bit long, thank you for reading to the end~

Attached is the Vipassana registration website/

There is also a 2-day course for teenagers, parents You can let your children participate

About me Daman

A curious and free soul,

fascinated by all beautiful things.

Experience officer of the world, designer of life.

ALL FOR LIFE. ALL FOR LOVE.

Who will be the first to reward me?