This is a problem that deeply plunged me into after watching the Japanese film "The Life of Disliked Pine Nuts". It has no answer, because I can't ask Matsuko, who died in the wilderness that night in sky full of stars. Even pine nuts themselves may not know the answer. Do you know the answer? I think, maybe each of us has the shadow of pine nuts more or less, at least once.

As said at the beginning of the film, dreams are free, but few people realize their dreams and live a happy life. Therefore, most people who are not so lucky are either sighing with sadness or indulging in sadness, or ending their lives hastily or prevaricating with a smile.

Matsuko's dream began at an early age, and then for so many years, he stubbornly worked hard for this dream. In fact, it is a very small dream, but it is very big for pine nuts and us who are looking for love as hard as pine nuts. It is not out of reach. It is even around, but it is always like a bubble, watching it burst one by one. I am lonely when I am alive, and I am lonely when I die. I don't know loneliness when I come, and I am not afraid of loneliness when I leave. However, this section of the road is so lonely that I always look forward to the company of people I care about.

From an early age, Matsuko wanted to be her father's daughter, go to the school and do the work that his father wanted her to do. She is such a good little girl, but it seems that she will never get her father's love, because she has a sister who is so sick that it is difficult to get out of bed. Dad gave all his love to her sister, gave her a beautiful gift and went straight upstairs, leaving her lonely little figure under the stairs, watching her father enter her sister's room and shut the door.

Throughout her childhood, only once, her father took her to a department store, ate a cake for the first time, watched a clown show for the first time, and inadvertently found herself making faces, finally making her laugh. So from then on, pine nuts always make faces, call dad to see, and get dad's attention. For dad, it's just a turn around, but it's the only fatherly love that pine nuts can win.

However, even this little fatherly love was finally disillusioned. Ben was full of joy in dressing up carefully and taking pictures in kimono at the bar mitzvah, but his father was so intent on not seeing his sister wearing it that he felt disappointed. So pine nuts made faces again, hoping that his father could smile, but his father scolded her sharply.

When she shared the feelings of a male teacher at school with her sister with good expectations, her father suddenly became furious and accused her of hurting her sister without considering her feelings. At that moment, she seemed to understand that everything was in vain. A person is sitting in the corridor of the hospital, singing her favorite nursery rhyme, "Bend out your arms, reach straight over and hug the little star tightly. Bend out your arms and stand on tiptoe, so that we can reach the blue sky. "Little feet wear white socks and bright red shoes, step on the floor, touch their toes, sing and listen to themselves.

Fortunately, God gave her a beautiful face, beautiful figure, charming demeanor and sweet singing. She also met this warm male teacher, smiled with white teeth, asked her to date, and was even shy. She was willing to listen to her childhood worries in the middle of the night and gently told her that you told me I felt happy.

However, the cruelty of heaven is that it is given to you for a while, but it is permanently lost to you.

Just as Matsuko was looking forward to the future, something happened to her junior high school class. The school suspected that Long Yang in her class had stolen money, and Matsuko didn't believe that his students would do such a thing, so he asked Long Yang to check, but Long Yang slammed the door and ran away.

In desperation, pine nuts chose to pad their own money and return it to the boss with a big mole in the stolen canteen. But this big mole boss, adamant, must apologize in person. At that time the feeling be nasty, pine nuts said she stole it, because she just wanted it to end quickly. But how could it be over? When the school knew about it, she was dismissed on the spot. At that moment, pine nuts felt that her life was over. And the love with the male teacher ended before it started. Since then, the life track of pine nuts has been completely changed.

Perhaps, it is precisely because of the extreme lack of love in childhood that pine nuts will try their best to love in adulthood. Even if I love again and again, I am scarred and have no self-esteem, I still keep igniting the hope of love and persist in loving.

Even though the first boyfriend, Hachikawa, was moody, punched and kicked her, and even forced her to be a bath girl, she still felt that he loved her. For her, even beating her or even killing her is better than her father's indifference to her. Before, she didn't seem to exist. Now, at least there is. Love is horribly humble, but it is better than no love. Even many years later, in retrospect, she felt that only Hachikawa loved her. On a rainy night, after another beating and venting, Ba Nvchuan left a note and ran away from home. Pine nuts chased out and saw the man she loved hit a train and died. At that moment, pine nuts felt that their life was over.

Later, Matsuko and his second boyfriend Okano were together, and they felt the power of life again. The family was in order from the previous chaos, and the new wallpaper was full of flowers and vitality. Pine nuts sing happily, as if they were in a colorful field. However, the dream is once again like a broken vase, broken all over the floor. It turned out that Okano had never loved her and never wanted to marry her. She only felt that her body was sexy, and she was the girlfriend of competitor Hachikawa, so she had the heart of occupation. Watching Okano slam the door, she recalled her father, the boss of the canteen, the day when she was dismissed, and the day when Eight Women Sichuan was hit with blood. She was heartbroken and asked why, why, why over and over again.

She became indifferent to everything, and really went to apply for a bath girl, and she couldn't feel a ripple when she stripped off on the spot. Just as before, she worked hard as a bath girl and took notes, and finally became the number one in the nightclub, with unlimited scenery for a while. Later, the nightclub business became bleak and finally closed, and she lost her place to live.

So, after three years, she quietly returned home. When her father died, she knelt in front of her father's tablet and saw his diary. She found that since she left home, the last sentence of every diary of her father was "No news of pine nuts". It turned out that I was not dispensable in my father's heart. I felt the emotion of my father's love after years of depression, but the regret of my father's death was intertwined and blocked in my heart for a while, and I couldn't help but burst into tears.

At this time, my sister dragged her weak body downstairs, and she seemed to feel her sister's coming home. When I saw my sister, I shook my body with joy and excitement, hugged my sister and said with tears in my eyes, "Sister, welcome home!" " However, Matsuko pushed his sister to the ground, rushed out of the door like an escape, and ran away from home again. Deep down in Matsuko's heart, she still feels that there is a sister between her father and her, between her father's love and her, and between her family and her. Because of her sister, she was deprived of a happy childhood. Because of her sister, she is always alone.

This time, she wanted to escape as far away as possible, to a place isolated from her hometown. One rainy night, I ran into a man named Onodera, who accosted him. The pine nuts were expressionless and his eyes were numb. They got into his car and just said that they didn't like rainy nights. The man took a fancy to the beauty of pine nuts together, and used the beauty of pine nuts to make money. Finally, he cheated because the pine nuts were tired and beautiful. Pine nuts are already dead, and they just want their money back. But the man refused, and under the scuffle, pine nuts seemed to see a man with a big mole on his face. She couldn't remember who the big mole man was, but she must have hated this man. When she lost her mind, this Onodera had been stabbed to death by her with a knife. At that moment, she really felt that her life was over this time.

Matsuko ran to the station and saw a big billboard on the Shinkansen: Dream Super Express Train. So, without thinking about it, she boarded the Dream. "It's really fantastic speed." She couldn't help but smile like a little girl's dream. When she told the judge this in prison.

Matsuko was sentenced to eight years in prison for murder. What is life? Get up, work, eat and sleep. If this is life, what keeps them alive in this empty cell? Yes, love is life. Live for love. Looking at the food on the table, a cake, the cake that belonged to her and her father in childhood, pine nuts could not help but shed tears. She remembered Shimadzu, who lived together for a month before going to prison, a gentle hairdresser who said that she would be together forever. So I began to attend training classes, learn to have a haircut, get a beautician's certificate, and look forward to living happily with Shimadzu after I get out of prison.

In the blooming season, pine nuts were released from prison. When she went back to the barber shop with great expectation, she saw that Shimadzu had married another woman, and the children were so tall, and the cheerful pace froze instantly. Looking at it from a distance, with tears in his eyes, he said to himself, "I'm home," and then turned to leave, disappearing into the flowers covered with trees on both sides.

This is the love that made her heart hot again, and finally found that it was only herself that was hot. She thought, so a person lived quietly, in a barber shop, go to work every day. Happily, she met her good friend Zecun Hui, who met in prison. They did a lot of things together and talked a lot. Zecunhui turned to be an actress. Matsuko asked her if she cried. Zecunhui said why she cried. There was no reason to cry, but Matsuko held Zecunhui's hand and Zecunhui burst into tears. Pine nuts know too much about these pains in their hearts.

But ever since Matsuko sent Zemura Hui home and heard Zemura Hui say "I'm home" and her husband said "Welcome home", Matsuko began to deliberately avoid her friend. Originally agreed to spend the birthday together, pine nuts also chose to spend it alone, a cake, a candle and a rainy night.

On this rainy night, a man stood in her way. It turns out that this man is the student who stole money that year, Long Yang Yi. As soon as Long Yang made an earnest confession, Matsuko heard that someone loved her so much, and immediately fell. This is the dream she has been pursuing, no, it is simply faith. However, Matsuko's heart was still struggling. She didn't accept it immediately, but got off the bus and ran home in the rain. I'm back. There was no answer and silence. A house without family is hell. Just then, pine nuts heard the sound of the car turning back downstairs, and their hearts moved. Anyway, there was hell on both sides. She rushed out in the rain and hugged Long Yang.

-teacher, I like you!

-love me?

-love you!

-stay with me forever?

-always with you!

-Never part?

-Never part!

-say it again!

-Never part!

-say it again!

-Never part.

-say it again!

-it's annoying!

As always, pine nuts love warmly, for fear of losing their loved ones again. As soon as Long Yang got impatient, he began to beat pine nuts. Long Yang is a gangster, and often pine nuts persuade him to turn over a new leaf, saying that he only wants two people to have a good life, and he will give him a beating. Often after being beaten, watching Long Yang leave in a hurry, Matsuko just muttered: It's better than being alone.

Long-lost friend Zecun Hui came to the door and asked Matsuko why he quit his job in the barber shop. Seeing that Matsuko's eyes were bruised, he urged Matsuko to leave the man who would take her to hell. However, Matsuko looked firmly at Zecun Hui and said, "As long as I am with this person, I will follow him in hell or anywhere. This is my happiness!"

A word becomes a prophecy.

Long Yang heard pine nuts say this in the room and hugged her tightly. Pine nuts, like the last warrior, told this man desperately that he would be a gangster as long as he was willing to be, and she followed suit. So, for Long Yang I and her supreme love, Matsuko went to an unknown nightclub, slept with an unknown man, and handed the unknown things to unknown people.

Just as Matsuko was looking forward to the future, he fled into space like he did on TV, and even fantasized that he had given birth to a child. When Long Yang had an accident, he was chased by the boss because he used the organization's money. In the process of escape, pine nut broke a leg, but she still felt that she was running to a colorful field. Later, when Long Yang went to prison, pine nuts waited for him wholeheartedly, cleaning up and putting away vases every day.

Finally, when Long Yang was released from prison, pine nuts were dressed in white and holding flowers, looking forward to starting a new life with their loved ones in the world of snow. As soon as Long Yang came out of the prison, pine nuts immediately greeted him and called him softly, but Long Yang knocked her to the ground with one punch and ran away in a panic. Pine nuts were lying in the snow, bleeding at the corners of their mouths, and crying again to ask why.

The love that started on the most annoying rainy night really became her hell, her last love.

After fourteen years, Matsuko returned to his hometown again, limping. I was shocked to hear that my sister had passed away, and my brother said that my sister's last sentence was "Sister, you are home", so I was so sad that I couldn't help myself. She wanted to say something to her brother, but he urged her to leave quickly and never come back. She wanted to tell her brother that she wanted to stay at home, but he didn't understand her. In his heart, she was just a person who ran away from home, worked as a bath girl, killed people and was useless. Her life was boring and meaningless. So, pine nuts had to leave again and walk to the station alone, limping.

Suddenly, Matsuko's eyes lit up and she saw a small river, which is clearly the river in her hometown, flowing with her simple years, teachers, students, songs and hometown. So, she got off at this small river, rented a house by this small river, looked at the river every day, looked at it for a long time, and cried for a long time.

Pine nuts never trust anyone, never talk to anyone, never love anyone, and never let anyone get involved in her life. She lives alone in the house, eating, drinking, sleeping, washing, dressing up, changing clothes and cleaning up. There are no more flowers in the house, and even if the garbage piles up into mountains, she turns a blind eye. It doesn't matter.

I thought she would live like this. One day a year later, a youth idol group suddenly appeared on TV. The passionate singing and dancing of teenagers deeply infected pine nuts, and the light shone back into her heart. She pursued it crazily, and even wrote a stack of thick letters that couldn't fit into the mailbox, enthusiastically introducing herself and expressing her love. Since then, waiting for a reply has become the hope of her life. However, no reply, continue to wait, still no reply, wait, no reply. Pine nuts finally broke out and asked, Why?

Then I plunged into the room, and then I really lived like this. The sun can no longer shine on her, and when she comes out of the room, she is even too afraid of light to open her eyes. This dark life lasted for ten years. In a trance, pine nuts seemed to hear crows telling her that it was really boring to be alive. She was so scared that she rushed into the room again. The large bags of black garbage bags on the ground seemed to be black crows. She was so scared that she wrote the same words on the wall over and over again as the note left by Eight Women Chuan before she committed suicide: Live, I'm sorry.

Pine nuts came to the hospital again, this time to see a doctor himself, in the psychiatric department. In the empty corridor again, pine nuts sang her favorite nursery rhyme, "Bend out your arms, stretch straight in the past, and hug the little star tightly. Bend your arms and stand on tiptoe so that we can reach the blue sky. Knead it into a small ball and talk to the wind. Stretch out and bask in the sun. " I will still sing and touch my toes. Or sing and listen by yourself. However, red leather shoes are no longer bright, and socks have become socks with several colors mixed together secretly.

One day, pine nuts went to the hospital to get medicine. When the doctor called her name, suddenly a man ran to call her, and she tried to avoid it. She looked like this, but her friend was still beautiful. Zecunhui forced Matsuko a business card, saying that the company invited her to be a hairdresser, and then watched her limp away, her clothes tattered and her body bloated.

Matsuko sat by the river again, took medicine and took out Zecun Hui's business card. Her friend had achieved her goal and became the president, but she had nothing, and even the courage to live was exhausted, so she bitterly lost her business card.

Back in the house, she collapsed on the ground. Suddenly, she seemed to see her sister, who smiled at her, smiling so beautifully. She was finally relieved and helped her sister cut a beautiful hairstyle in her mind. Suddenly, pine nuts got up, shouted their friends' names and said that they could do it. However, I found that my business card was lost, so I ran to the river and squatted on the ground to look for it carefully.

Finally found it. Just then, a can fell at the foot, kicked by a group of junior high school students on the grass by the river. Pine nuts reprimanded them for playing outside in the middle of the night and told them to go home quickly, so as not to worry their parents. However, pine nuts' speech after years of silence brought her fatal disaster. When she was walking forward with a business card and a bright heart, this group of students caught up with her from behind and knocked her to the ground with a stick. Once, twice and three times, pine nuts were dying. At this night, pine nuts died. Died in this quiet wilderness, beside her, clusters of white flowers were blooming.

From being young and beautiful to being welcomed by everyone, to being dismissed from school for protecting students, to burning one's love fervently in every period, to being abandoned by neighbors in the end, to letting go of the past and preparing to start over, and to sacrificing one's life for a group of unfamiliar students, Matsuko's life, like a candle, shines on everyone until the wax torch turns to dust.

I don't know whether pine nuts are happy, unhappy, tragic or not. Whether in movies or in reality, this is not an easy question to answer. Our desperate love at the moment may be a poison that leads us step by step to the abyss. The hometown we wanted to escape so much in the past is a distant place that we can't go back to for many years. I used to go through fire and water to love, but later I was disheartened and didn't love it. It was all hurt, but it was also a kind of protection.

Pine nuts are lonely, and all beings are lonely. Songzi has been pursuing love, fatherly love, affectionate love and family love all his life. Aren't we? Her love was so determined, so earnest and dazzling that Long Yang was afraid, but in the end, he found that she was his god. God forgives the unforgivable and loves him forever. Unfortunately, everything is too late.

Although the film is called the rejected pine nuts, the nephew of pine nuts seems to see his aunt's figure. Although he staggered, he once brought love and joy to so many people. If there is a god in the world, it must be a reliable god like his aunt. The "rejected pine nuts" came from the neighbors of her last place of residence. When these neighbors know the real pine nuts, who will say this again about this once warm woman? Just as Matsuko's younger brother knew all this, he became silent.

However, the dream that Matsuko pursued all his life has not been realized until the end of his life.

After her death, the camera zoomed home, her father was alive, and her brother was talking happily. She went to the stairs and saw her sister standing upstairs smiling at her. She wore white socks, just like the beautiful appearance of that year, and walked step by step towards her sister, step by step towards the blue sky with white clouds, and sang again, "Bend out your arms, stretch straight over and hug the little star tightly. Bend your arms and stand on tiptoe so that we can reach the blue sky. Knead it into a small ball and talk to the wind. Stretch out and get some sunshine. Bend out your arms, reach straight over, go home when you are hungry, and go home while singing. "

My sister said, "Welcome home."

Pine nuts said, "I went home." Smile at each other.

In fact, I think this is an inspirational film about life. Pine nuts themselves are power. People around pine nuts are also exploring their own lives. As long as you are alive, there is strength, there is possibility, there is no end, and you can start over. I recommend you to watch the film for two hours.