After I graduated from Stanford University with an MBA in 2001, I decided to go back to China and join McKinsey Greater China Beijing Company as a corporate strategy consultant despite my friends' dissuasion. I remember when I first returned to China, I was very excited. Walking in the streets of Beijing, I felt like a dream. I couldn't believe that I really returned to my motherland after seven years' absence. For the first time, I was very happy to have dinner with my colleagues in the old Beijing cuisine in Xiaowangfu, next to Kerry Center. I thought I could not eat such authentic and cheap Chinese food in the United States. The first four months after returning to China were like a honeymoon. I felt that China was good everywhere, but I didn't have to suffer the hardships of the first generation of immigrants in the United States. I thought I didn't need to go back to the United States in my life. I didn't expect the honeymoon to end. Four months later, I began to miss the United States, and gradually discovered the cultural differences between myself and China. I remember that before returning to China, my friend warned me to be careful of "Reverse Cultural Shock" after returning to China, which meant that I needed to re-adapt to the culture of China. At that time, I didn't believe it. I thought that I had always been very China. After so many years in the United States, I always consciously resisted Americanization because of my deep and heavy China complex, and I kept my true colors of China. After I returned to China, I would certainly be able to blend in with the local faction. Do I still need to adapt to the culture of my own country? As a result, I was unfortunately told by my friends that I had absorbed a lot of things from American culture in a subtle way, but I was not used to China culture. Then let's talk about my counter-cultural shock when I returned to China.
Language shock
I went back to China for more than two months, and went on a blind date for the first time. The other party was the son of my mother's colleague's neighbor, graduated from Beijing Normal University, and got an MBA from the National People's Congress. He worked in a private securities company in Beijing, one year older than me. He was a native, handsome and quite satisfied with his parents. I remember the first time we met and talked, and the other party suddenly asked me what the English word "impressive" in Chinese meant, and I was stunned. In the United States, I am used to speaking Chinese with English words, and I never thought that I need to translate my English mantra into Chinese. Leng might as well be asked, I don't know how to translate it for a while, which is impressive. It's a literal translation, but it sounds lame. Chinese doesn't need such a long adjective. Turn it into a good one? It seems that the meaning is not fully expressed. Ask carefully, it turns out that he didn't understand many English words I unconsciously brought in my conversation, but he was embarrassed to ask. When I was studying besieged city in college, I remember that Mr. Qian Zhongshu compared the English words of returnees in Chinese to "meat scraps caught in his teeth". At that time, he applauded Mr. Qian's meanness and took this behavior of returnees seriously. I didn't expect that ten years later, my speech became "meat crumbs caught in my teeth." I really want to say to Mr. Qian, Mr. Qian is wronged. I don't mean to show off the fake foreign devils at all. I'm used to it. It's still very difficult to blurt it out, because it's necessary to translate the ready-made English words into Chinese before speaking (and find the right Chinese words). This is the first time I realized that if returnees want to blend in with the local faction, they must first overcome the language barrier.
When McKinsey first dealt with customers in China, my colleagues told me to pay attention to speaking Chinese, because customers don't like us to speak in English. So when I do a project for Lenovo, I have to be very careful when I speak. I must translate English into Chinese before I speak, but I still blurt out English words if I don't pay attention (for example, business terms such as strategy, competitive analysis). Fortunately, Lenovo's customers respect McKinsey very much, and they are also willing to learn from McKinsey's advanced western management concepts. Therefore, under my influence, they unconsciously brought English words to their speeches. I'm sorry to think about it, Mr. Qian Zhongshu.
Life culture is shocked
The language shock encountered by returnees is easy to find and relatively easy to overcome, while the difference between Chinese and western cultures between returnees and natives is subtle, which is hidden in every bit of life and cannot be easily changed. I remember chatting with a local friend and talking about the difference between intelligence and wisdom. He asked me, do you think you are smart or intelligent? I blurted out without thinking, "I am smart and intelligent." My friend gave me a surprised look and said, you are not modest at all. I was stunned at that time, and suddenly realized that in the eastern culture, even when others praise you, you should humbly say, "There, there is still a long way to go." Is there a truth that the old lady sells melons and boasts herself? After staying in America for a long time, I am used to saying what I think, forgetting modesty and humility. Western culture is straightforward, and if you feel that you are very good, you must say ten (if not twelve). Learning to sell yourself is a prerequisite for making a living in America. Oriental culture is more subtle, often beating around the bush, and what you say is not necessarily what you think. If you feel very good, you will only say eight points, and keep two points for the other party to guess.
When I was working on a project in Shanghai, I made a boyfriend from Shanghai, Wei, who was a native. In fact, he was a returnee and studied in China, but Japanese culture is more oriental than Japanese culture, so we often encounter cultural differences between China and the West together. One weekend my best girlfriend Miao came to Shanghai from Beijing to play and stayed in my hotel room. Miao has friends all over the world, and she also has friends in Shanghai, so I think Miao should meet her when she meets her friends on weekends. I asked Miao for a room card, so that we can not influence each other and move freely. After talking to Wei, he was very angry and said how can you be so kind to your friends? China people say that "it's a pleasure to have friends coming from afar", so of course you should play with your good friends. I feel very wronged. In America, even good friends are very independent of each other. If they have time to meet, if they have their own things, then they can go their own way and have nothing to be polite about. In my opinion, it's natural for Wei to say "I don't want to be loyal to my sisters", but I can't explain it for a long time. Miao wanted to play with her friends, and I wanted to play with Wei in Wuxi. As a result, both of us accompanied Miao to Hangzhou (where I have just been on a business trip), and we didn't play well, because Wei and I quarreled, and all three of us ended up disappointed.
Corporate culture shocked
Cultural differences in life are like waves. It takes the impact of the waves to make generate. Even if it happens, it is not necessarily a bad thing, and sometimes it will add some fun to a quiet life. The cultural differences at work are like a whirlwind, and there will be a feeling of being swallowed up by it.
Working in McKinsey Beijing Company, I feel that the responsibility on my shoulders is bigger and more challenging than that in the United States. For example, I have made corporate headquarters development strategies for fortune 500 multinational companies like Microsoft or leaders of state-owned enterprises and private enterprises like China Telecom and Lenovo, but the biggest feeling is that I am tired and my body is overdrawn after a few months. I went back to Stanford Business School to attend the first anniversary party of our 200 1 MBA, and chatted with my classmates who worked at McKinsey in the United States. I found that both of them worked for McKinsey, and my working time in China was twice as long as that of my classmates in the United States. Alumni who work in other foreign companies in China also feel the same way. Working in China has doubled the working hours and the work intensity. Why? I think there are two reasons. First, the economic difference, China is still in the stage of rapid development, and the American economy is relatively mature, just like running a marathon. If you want to catch up with your opponent who runs two hours earlier than yourself, you will naturally run a lot tired. Second, cultural differences. American culture emphasizes the importance of the individual, individuality, personal interests first and corporate interests second. If you ask 100 Americans, which is more important, work or family? Ninety-nine people will answer, of course, family is important. The remaining one will be considered as a workaholic. After seven o'clock in the evening and weekends are legal personal time. Occasionally, the boss lets you work overtime, and I'm sorry to tell you that I'm sorry to let you work overtime. Go home when you're done. In Asian culture, it emphasizes the importance of collectivity, conformity, corporate interests first, personal interests second, and individuals obey the collectivity. The boss thinks that your time is all his, so overtime is a matter of course. Besides, China's culture advocates perseverance, and it is necessary to work hard at McKinsey for 16 hours every day, but everyone is used to it. No one fires the boss because of the long working hours. Accustomed to individuality, I was suddenly involved in the whirlpool of conformity. After working selflessly for half a year, I suddenly felt an inexplicable loss of losing myself.
Female returnees are shocked to make friends.
When I returned to Silicon Valley, I met a female compatriot of my age who wanted to return to China and asked me how I felt about returning to China. The first thing I asked was, are you married? Do you have a boyfriend? If the answer is no, my next sentence is that it is best to find a boyfriend in Silicon Valley and then go back. You can't find a boyfriend when you return home. Why? Let's talk about the shock of my friends who came back to China.
I jumped the queue in the United States for seven years, and when I returned to China, I was a young woman who was nearly thirty years old. My marriage problem became my parents' biggest worry. When I was in the United States, I thought, there are 1.3 billion people in China, and there should be 650 million male compatriots. The market is big enough and I have good conditions, so it's not a problem to find a husband. I don't know that I am all wet. After returning to China for more than half a year, I didn't even have a date (blind date is not counted). I can't believe it myself. Think about seven years in the United States, when do you worry that there are no boys asking me out? If I want to date, I will go to a dance or an outing organized by China Engineers Association in Silicon Valley. Naturally, I can meet several single men, so dating is not a problem. There is an imbalance between men and women in Silicon Valley, and girls are giant pandas, so there is no need to worry about no one chasing them. Unexpectedly, after returning to China, all of a sudden, I was left out in the cold. Returnees also went to dances, outings, or parties, and I knew quite a few people, but it seems that no one ever called me. Occasionally, a man asked me out, thinking that the other person liked me. After dating for a while, I found out that the other person was married and even had children. I wanted to find a confidante outside marriage, but I didn't want to do the third one-the first one hasn't landed yet, so how can I have time to do the third one? I think it's wrong. By analyzing McKinsey's 2X2 market attraction and enterprise competitiveness matrix, I suddenly find that my attraction in the dating market is zero and my competitiveness is zero, which is at the origin of being advised by McKinsey to withdraw from the market. Why? Let's talk about the attractiveness of the target market first. My target market is returnees. I think everyone has the same background. They all jumped the queue and returned to the city. There should be many people who speak the same language. I didn't expect that Mr. Haigui didn't want to find Ms. Haigui. He earned enough money by himself. Why should he find another strong woman? It's better to find a local wife and mother. Then expand the target market and turn to the local school. Unfortunately, I got two master's degrees from two famous universities in the United States, with an annual salary of $100,000, which is enough to deter local school men. I once tried to make friends on Sina. After I told the other person my education and experience by email, the other person only replied four words, and the mountain stopped. When I was in college, I read in a magazine that female masters and doctors were looking for anti-aircraft guns and couldn't find the target. Now I understand the truth. The market attraction is gone. Look at your own competitiveness. You are neither young nor particularly beautiful, and you may not be gentle enough. In the United States, you are used to independence. You make your own decisions and never rely on anyone. The obedience and humility of oriental women are forgotten. Compared with the local girls who are young, beautiful, gentle and virtuous, it seems that they are not competitive. What should we do? Can we really withdraw from the market according to McKinsey's matrix theory? You can't be alone all your life.
When there was no hope of making friends, I met Wei by chance when I was doing a project interview in Shanghai. Wei is one year older than me, with a grade of 88. After graduating from college, he caught up with the tide of going abroad, went to Japan to study for five years, and worked as a salesman in a Japanese company after returning home. I happened to know a multinational company in Shanghai when I was doing strategic consulting for China market. Wei was invited to lunch because of his work relationship, and we chatted very congenially, so we made an appointment to go out to play together on the weekend. I have been on a business trip in Shanghai for several months, but I have never played well in Shanghai. Every time I come and go in a hurry, I fly from Beijing to Shanghai on Sunday night and fly back to Beijing in a hurry on Friday night. I decided to spend the weekend in Shanghai this time. Anyway, the company reimbursed the room rate of five-star hotels. On Sunday, Wei took me around Shanghai, sipping tea in Yu Garden, eating Nanxiang steamed buns, taking a ferry on the Bund, and climbing to the top floor of the Oriental Pearl Tower to see the night view of the Bund. The night view of Shanghai is beautiful, comparable to that of San Francisco, but more emotional than that of San Francisco, because the wind in Shanghai in summer night is warm and soft, like a lover's hand, unlike the sea breeze in San Francisco, even in summer, it blows your heart cold. The days with Wei passed quickly and happily, which was the happiest time in my year back home. I thought about finding a job in a foreign company in Shanghai and taking root in China, so I gave up the United States. This is also my parents' wish. But somehow, there is always a feeling of loss in my heart, like a black hole that adds dissatisfaction. Actually, I know why. I spent seven years in the United States, the most crucial decade in my life, from the age of twenty to thirty. Although I have always resisted American culture, American culture and American values have become an inseparable part of my thoughts. My half of America has become the biggest obstacle between Wei and me. There will always be conflicts between Chinese and western cultures between us. I know that Wei will never understand my other half, who grew up on the other side of the earth. At the age of 30, I found that love alone is not enough. I need to find a soul mate, a confidant who can really understand and share all of me. I have thought for a long time, and feel that Wei and I will not have long-term happiness. After the passion fades, the differences between us will be reflected in the little things in life. Wei also knows this, so he has been reluctant to let me give up America for him. Before I returned to China, my friends advised me to stay in the United States. This time, my parents and sisters advised me to stay in China (because the American economy was too bad at that time), but deep down, I knew that I would regret it all my life if I didn't return to the United States. So I called on last ounce of courage to say goodbye to Wei in the cold winter of 2002, and returned to Silicon Valley alone when the economy in Silicon Valley was in a depression and the company's layoffs were jittery.