No, a few days ago, a video was on fire in Tik Tok.

The mother of a 985 doctor cried while helping her daughter with her homework. ...

What's more, she choked out angry words: "I don't even want to be her mother."

In fact, parents with high academic qualifications have no fewer problems in educating their children than ordinary people.

The "love and hate" between doctors, parents and babies is really wonderful. .....

Dr. 985' s mother cried while helping her daughter with her homework.

Boarded a hot search

Recently, the mother of a 985 doctor cried while helping her daughter with her homework, and she was on the hot search list.

In the video, while helping her children with their homework, she choked and said with tears:

"Just a few new words, I wrote for three hours."

"I don't even want to be her mother."

"I also want to control myself, don't want to scold her ..."

In fact, it is quite common for highly educated people to get angry and cry when educating their children. The "love-hate relationship" between doctors' parents and children after giving birth can also be found in many academic aspects.

I can take graduate students, but I can't teach my daughter

The doctor shouted: it's too difficult.

Generally speaking, when most people are studying for a doctorate, when they get married, many people will choose to have their own children during their doctorate.

According to the popular view that "the dragon begets the dragon and the phoenix begets the phoenix", many people think that it is a piece of cake for highly educated parents to take care of their children, so there is no need to worry about their education. But in fact, as a doctor who is a parent for the first time, this road with a baby is too hard. ...

At many doctoral graduation ceremonies, you will see parents of doctors bringing their babies to attend.

Even sometimes Mengwa's schedule is very tight, with her mother's in the morning and her father's in the afternoon, and she has to catch two doctoral graduation ceremonies in one day.

As for why Bow Wow came to attend, in an interview, most parents of doctors said that the main reason was to let their children feel the academic atmosphere. In the future, they want their babies to be healthy and happy, and then they'd better do well in school.

With the growth of children, parents of doctors will gradually feel that there is sometimes only one choice between taking care of children and making academic output.

A research team from Harvard University and Northwestern University showed that during the epidemic, some researchers were too busy taking care of their babies to write many papers.

The survey shows that after comparison, the researchers found that the biggest factor affecting the respondents' work is taking care of children. Among them, infants under 5 years old have the most serious impact on the working hours of the respondents.

Especially for women, taking care of children is an extremely important factor to reduce women's scientific research work time. The data shows that compared with men, the working hours of female researchers decreased more during the epidemic.

In the respondents' predictions, the researchers also found the influence of taking care of children on researchers: if there are children under 5 years old at home, researchers will greatly reduce their expected scientific research output and influence.

A new study by the University of Colorado at Boulder also shows that the output rate of female academic papers has dropped by about 20% after delivery.

Finally, the children grew up and began to attend primary and secondary schools. At this time, doctoral parents who could have made more time began to face a new problem: the education of their children.

However, it turns out that there is sometimes a canyon between self-study and teaching children to learn well.

At the beginning of July, the homepage of a doctoral supervisor in Chongqing University was on fire. At the end of his introduction, the teacher wrote: "Although there are more than 70 graduate students (including those who are studying and about to graduate), he still can't do anything about the education of junior high school students' daughters. "

When tutoring homework, I also found that if you don't study, it is not as effective as primary school to "streaking" children directly.

"I think math is very good, but once or twice she had the problem of factoring and solving equations, so she asked me. I thought for a long time and didn't think of it, so I slowly gave up. "

Finally, the doctoral tutor chose to "completely ignore" the children's learning.

He feels that if parents hold the attitude of "learning hegemony" in the past, they will certainly be able to coach, which is particularly easy to have conflicts with their children. On the one hand, what children learn now is different from what they learned when they were children. On the other hand, if parents don't master educational psychology, once they think that something is very simple, their children will not "accidentally", which will lead to dissatisfaction with their children and conflict.

So he decided that it is better to create a learning environment for children. As for the specific things of learning, it depends on the children themselves.

There is also Professor Peking University Ding who has the same "difficult to teach" experience as this doctoral supervisor.

Professor Ding said that he could recite the whole Xinhua Dictionary at the age of six, and he studied in Peking University as an undergraduate. After graduation, he went to Columbia University in the United States for further study and obtained a doctorate in education.

His wife is also high flyers, a graduate of Peking University, but he found that his daughter almost perfectly avoided her parents' learning hegemony gene and ran further and further on the road of "learning scum".

Especially when helping her daughter with her homework, Professor Ding always has a deep sense of powerlessness, and sometimes she can't help getting angry.

In this regard, he bluntly said, "I don't tutor my father's filial piety, but I tutor my homework." Also once boarded the Weibo hot search.

Finally, looking at the child's puzzled and wronged face, Professor Ding finally calmed down from the beginning of hating iron and not turning into steel to the later suspicion of life.

"I want my children to change their lives, but the children let me accept my fate. What if you don't accept it? She is like this. "

Finally, he decided to give up high pressure, hoping that children could find other advantages and become useful talents.

Educational anxiety of highly educated people

In people's general cognition, the higher the educational background, the easier it is to educate children. But in fact, the level of knowledge and the ability to educate children cannot be simply equated.

Zhang, a doctoral supervisor, believes that the educational anxiety of Kochi parents is universal.

"Of course, regardless of academic qualifications, educational anxiety itself is universal. But from another angle, I feel that Kochi's parents are probably more anxious than those with low academic qualifications. This is because the traditional culture of China attaches great importance to education, and the concept of "each generation is stronger than the next" is deeply rooted in people's hearts. Affected by this concept, it is difficult for some Kochi parents to accept that their children are not as good as themselves in academic qualifications. "

We can't deny that some highly educated parents have educated their children better. For example, a few days ago, we reported that "the father is a doctoral tutor and the daughter is a master tutor" in the same university.

However, many parents with less education in their lives have done well in this respect, and many parents with higher education are really helpless to their children.

Judging from the most basic knowledge transfer, it is not necessarily that more knowledge can be expressed in place and easier. While teaching children, we should also learn how to express it in a form that children can accept. What is more difficult is that some of our highly educated parents, especially college teachers, may not understand the educational psychology of primary and secondary school students and think the problem is too simple. Some parents don't reflect on themselves after education hit a wall, but think it's a child's problem, which will inevitably bring more contradictions.

To solve the educational anxiety of Kochi's parents, I'm afraid we must first change the social culture that only judges the success of children's education by their grades, academic qualifications and schools. Only more diversified evaluation criteria can alleviate this anxiety.

Perhaps, in today's society, it is also an ability to let children "ordinary people" live a normal life.