When I was young, I especially liked to hold my sister at the well to watch my grandmother lead the family's big yellow ox to drink water, and wash the sweet potatoes and carrots for the black hairy pig, and there was an evening when the two of us swayed our heads to learn the big yellow ox to drink water, and the result was that we forgot to sit down, and both of us fell down the small well, and the big yellow ox was scared, and the cow bell on its neck shook with a whammy. Grandma was quick to pick us up with one hand and put us on the roadside slab. Before my sister and I could react to what was happening, we were already sitting on the slab. The first time I saw this, I was able to get a good feeling of security, and it was probably in that moment that I was able to establish it.
When I was in fourth grade, I was sent out of the province to school, and my sister was picked up by my aunt. I began to learn Mandarin, after school dance class leg press, by the teacher to correct the pronunciation of English, the family's rhubarb and ginkgo tree left behind, summer vacation also from the creek to catch shrimp looking for crabs into the park water guns and duck boats, in the phone to listen to the grandmother's voice, turn around and be attracted to cartoons.
Summer came one after another, but I seldom had another chance to lie under the ginkgo tree and be lazy. We go back to the old house once a year, most of the time in winter, every time is also a big bag hurried back, big bag hurried away. It wasn't until I went to college and had free reign of my own summer vacation time that I finally pulled a suitcase and took the overnight green train home for my summer vacation.
Grandma waited at the intersection early, saw me in a hurry towards me, took the box in my hand, she seems to be more thin, but also some black. I especially like to eat her bacon shredded rice soup steamed eggs, so as long as I go back, the first meal is definitely not without it. But that summer, there was one more dish on the dinner table, boiled eggs and squash blossoms, I don't know where she heard that this cure for nearsightedness, so I could eat boiled eggs and squash blossoms every day for a whole summer vacation. Grandma also had the most amazing magic, as long as she went out, she always came back with unexpected surprises, popsicles, melons, small tomatoes, wild strawberries, green grapes, jelly, spicy slices, every one of them I love so much. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to do with this.
On the hottest afternoons, I would sit at the front door and watch the birds steal the wheat, drifting off to sleep. Grandma would touch my head and tell me to go to sleep on the cool bed. The first time I got up from a nap, the sun was setting, and the whole yard was shrouded in a golden halo, like it was going to float up at any moment. That was later, I couldn't find the stability anywhere.
When all the summer vacations were over, I graduated and started to go out into the world on my own. I remember the end of the video for my graduation project was a long shot, following my grandmother all the way to the soundtrack of falling leaves and returning to my roots.
I guess you must have tears in your eyes, otherwise why would you look up at the clouds and not look at me, don't look at the clouds, look at me, I'm leaving, look at me.
In December 2015, an ordinary night, I was woken up by the phone, my mother said, get up, pack up, let's go home now, your grandmother is not there. I did not reflect for a moment, mute sitting on the edge of the bed, heart beating fast. After a while, mom sent a text message again, said: clean up, you sleep a little more, your father and I still need a while to arrive. I turned off the lights, lying on the bed, open eyes, the sky outside the window dark and heavy.
When I arrived at the old house, it was early in the morning, pushed open the door and grandfather sat on a high stool, his eyes were empty, I went over to hug him, tears finally fell uncontrollably, I gritted my teeth and did not make a sound, the heart is blocked with a big stone, about to breathe up.
Grandma is in the tea mountain, she was carried out with a blanket wrapped, thin and small, like a small child, would like to go to hold her hand, touch her face, but I can only stand quietly, let the tears blurred piece. We keep watch all night long, the yard people come and go, the lights are bright, so love the lively one but quietly lying, never talk, never give me a kiss. The day of the burial there was a slight drizzle, a long string of funeral procession, there are so many people to send her, she should be happy.
Everyone has the constitution to be loved, everyone deserves to be loved, and I hope the people I love will remember me.
Later, when I met the blooming season back to the old house, I will fold a bunch to her, she loves beauty, like flower clothes; every time I go back to see her I will smile, she likes to see me smile. I will live a good life and hide my misses in my eyes to become stars and light up the road ahead.
Today, I am also thinking of you!