Guanyin: Wukong!
Goku: Shit! You again? In the past five hundred years, you have to come once every week, do you know you are very annoying ah?
Guanyin: That's your fault, I'm here today to tell you something good!
Goku: If it's not to let me out, no discussion. I'm very busy now, the World Wildlife Fund invited me to be the spokesman, the Special Olympics are invited Arnold, I just earn some pocket money.
Guanyin: But you're being crushed under a mountain?
Wukong: The mountain? If it is not to give Rulai a little face, I would have turned into a fly and flew away. It's just that there are charges for living elsewhere, and with the beautiful mountains here and the Guanyin MM coming to see me, I'll just have to go to work during the day and come back to sleep at night?
Guanyin: Then why didn't you go to work today?
Wukong: Shit!
Guanyin: SURE!
Wukong: What are you going to tell me today?
Guanyin: Listen. (Speaking, from the pocket pulled out a small book) ...... Sun Wukong, male, because five hundred years ago made a fuss in the Palace of Heaven and was crushed under the five rows of mountains, now by the Tianzhu area street management committee of all the amazons to vote by show of hands, will be assigned to the Tang Dynasty, a monk as a disciple. If you do not follow the order to insert ~~~~~ his old wood, splash ~~~~~~ his sulfuric acid, step on his small bottom Di, cancel his China BBS login privileges ...
Wukong: what?
Guanyin: Hush ~~~~~~
Wukong: Hush?
Guanyin: Shit! Hush your mom's head ah! I'm telling you not to talk, the monk is coming! I'm going to flash first!
Wukong: Huh? That's the monk?
Tang Monk: According to the map, it should be here?
Wukong: Ah! You stepped on my hand!
Tang Monk: Oh, sorry, I didn't notice you big turtle.
Wukong: Turtle?
Tang Monk: Yeah? But I've never seen a turtle like you with a shell as big as a mountain and a face like a monkey.
Wukong: It seems that the Goddess of Mercy is right, like you such an IQ, a person can not get to Tianzhu ......
Tang Monk: Oh? You know Guanyin too? She must be the most popular MM in the local area.I don't know if you recognize a monkey named Monkey King here?
Wukong: This is my business card.
Tang Monk: Oh? You are also called the Monkey King? What a coincidence, then you must know the one in the neighborhood with the same name as you?
Goku: ****! You should be able to figure out that I'm the monkey you're looking for with your heels, right? I was crushed under the mountain!
Tang Monk: No way? You do not lie to me, you think I am stupid?
Wukong: Fool? You are a fool? Are you praising yourself or calling a fool? How can you be such a stupid fool?
Tang Monk: This is also seen by you? If I am not stupid, who tnnd willing to come out to do this job?
Wukong: Okay, okay, you now immediately to the top of the mountain to the top of the seal off, I can go with you to fetch the scriptures.
Tang Monk: Okay, you wait
Wukong: Hey ~~~~~~~ found it yet ~~~~~~~~~
Tang Monk: I found it ~~~~~~~~~ but I don't know which one is it ~~~~~~~~
Wukong: Shit! How many strips are posted on it?
Tang Monk: A lot! "To be rich, plant more trees", "only one good", "Stephen Chow community, do not go on white not", "here no silver three hundred taels ", "here prohibited to take pictures, violators fine"......
Wukong: right right right, is the one that takes pictures.
Tang Monk: Okay! I've uncovered it!
Wukong: ok, go farther away!
Cluck Cluck Cluck ...... (hoofbeats)
Wukong: farther ......
Cluck Cluck Cluck ......
Wukong: Farther ......
Cluck Cluck Cluck ......
Wukong: Farther ......
Tang Monk: Shit! Any farther and you'll be in India~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wukong: I'm coming out!
Tang Monk: Huh? The mountain didn't even fall, why did you come out?
Wukong: You climbed out of the cave to get the mountain?
Tang monk: you are climbing out? That seal?
Wukong: walk form Well ...... in fact, the seal has long passed the shelf life, and no one came to replace, the after-sales service really ~~~~~ is poor! Let's go?
The Tang Monk: You are all up and down naked, not good, right?
Wukong: I have hair ah?
Tang Monk: Hairy great ah? If I hadn't become a monk, I would have more hair than you! Come on, put this on.
Wukong: Master, it's a long way to the West, I'm afraid you won't be able to get to the West if you're always like this.
Tang Monk: What's wrong?
Wukong: I do not wear clothes, but you give me this iron ring on the head, can not play a role ah?
Tang monk: where so much nonsense? I told you to put it on!
Wukong: Damn! If not for the face of the Goddess of Mercy MM, I'll beat you to death with a stick! (After that, Wukong put on the vajra ring)
Tang Monk: §▲※〓◆◎☆■↑
Wukong: My head! My head!
Tang Monk: Hahaha! You're scared, right?
Wukong: Is this the long lost "head shaking spell" in the jianghu?
Tang Monk: Yes, once you have heard this head shaking spell, you will immediately become addicted to it and can not extricate yourself. One day without listening to the sinews will flow back; two days without listening to the body will be ulcerated; three days without listening to the blood will be two deficiencies, chloasma, chloasma face, prostate enlargement, accompanied by menopausal symptoms, even if you eat Harbin Pharmaceutical Plant VI production in the cover of the cover in the cover of the oral fluid can not save you!
Wukong: good cruelty!
Tang monk: Oh, as the saying goes, no poison is not a man, the amount of small is not a gentleman!
Wukong: I will listen to you is it ...... dead ghosts, but also get what "shaking head spell", hate it!
Tang Monk: not good!
Wukong: what's wrong?
Tang monk: tiger!
Wukong: Master, the tiger is not scary, have you not heard of the poem?
Monk: Poem?
Wukong: yes! As the saying goes, "One, two, three, four, five, go up the mountain to fight the tiger, the tiger does not eat, specializing in eating the big bad ......"
Tang Monk: Come on, this is a children's song ......
Wukong : I mean, with me, the tiger won't die!
Tang Monk: Shit! I am letting you protect me, not letting you be the ambassador of the wildlife protection organization!
Wukong: understand! Wukong: Understood!
Monk: Wukong, why don't you go?
Wukong: There is a river in front of us!
Monk: What is the river? You beat him to death and that's it?
Wukong: Look, this is the river.
Tang Monk: Oh, this is river!
(Speaking, only to see a flash of white light, the Tang Monk's mount disappeared)
Tang Monk: Wukong, the teacher's horse disappeared!
Wukong: The horse is gone? Wukong: The horse is gone? What else can you do? Is the underwear still there?
Tang Monk: (reached out and touched) Fortunately, not lost!
Wukong: It was taken by the little white dragon in the river!
Tang monk: white dragon? Too exciting, I did not expect that today I have met the talking monkey and the white dragon that can eat horses.
Wukong: when you can see the big scene ah? You wait, I will go down to catch him!
Tang Monk: What? You can swim? It's awesome!
Wukong: pig water brain!
(Not long after, Wukong pulled the little white dragon out of the water, and the white dragon took human form and knelt in front of the Tang Monk)
White dragon: you are the monk from the East?
Tang Monk: Exactly.
White Dragon: Master!
Tang Monk: Who? I? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
White Dragon: Yes, it is you, is the Goddess of Mercy JJ let me wait for you here.
Tang Monk: Guanyin again? How did you get here?
White Dragon: I was the third prince of the Dragon King of the East China Sea, I did not expect my horse behind my back and hung a Kai Zi, but also in my wedding night, the two private run! I smashed the cave in a fit of anger. In passing, I burned a night pearl, I did not expect this bead is the Jade Emperor sent with the molecules, the Jade Emperor punished me to say roundabout, I will not, he relegated me to here!
Wukong: tongue twister? What do you mean?
White Dragon: it is "the old monk end soup on the tower, the tower slippery soup sprinkle soup hot tower".
Tang Monk: Oh? The first time I saw this, it was a very nice thing to say.
White Dragon: nonsense, I have been practicing here for more than 50 years!
Tang Monk: So it is, how about I teach you a new one. "Eight hundred standard soldiers running north slope, north slope artillery running side by side, artillery afraid of stepping on the standard soldiers standard, standard soldiers afraid of touching the artillery gun".
Wukong: what what broken running table freak out? And then say the tongue twister, I can be angry!
Monk: Wukong, this you do not understand, roundabout is widely spread in the folk of a language game, the vowel, rhyme or tone of the word is very easy to mix the same, composed of overlapping roundabout sentence, the requirements of a breath read out in a hurry, fast time, read the sound is very easy to happen wrong!
Wukong: Shit!
Tang monk: you hit me again?
Wukong: Quickly say business!
White Dragon: Oh, I'm sorry, master, I ate your white horse, let me change into a white horse pack ~~~~~~~ you go to fetch the scriptures?
Tang Monk: Humph! Think to good! I want BMW!
White Dragon: famous car ah!
Tang Monk: you are afraid of it?
Director: cut! I don't have to.
Director: BMW yeah!
Tang Monk: BMW, the best is only a few hundred thousand dollars.
Director: hundreds of thousands? No, not to mention BMW, PUMA can not afford to buy ah?
The Tang monk: good, again!
......
White Dragon: Oh, I'm sorry, master, I ate your white horse, let me change into a white horse pack ~~~~~~~ you go to fetch the scriptures?
Tang Monk: Amitabha Buddha! (Monk Tang pulls out a sword from behind him and points it toward the sky)
Monk Tang: Grant me the power ~~~~~~~~~~ I ~~~~~~ am ~~~~~~ Monk Tang ~~~~~~~
Wukong: Xirui?
White Dragon: It's my turn!
(White Dragon shakes himself)
Tang Monk: Mule!
Director: Sorry, the funding is not enough, the next episode must change the horse.
White Dragon: then please change a white one, this black mule is detrimental to my image!
The Tang Monk: Yes, who has seen the Tang Monk riding out on a mule?
Director: Everyone, make do for a while, dinner is on me today.
White Dragon: Okay, it's settled!
(The sun is setting, Wukong picking a burden, the Tang monk riding a mule, towards the sunset afterglow, towards the altar of the gods ......)
The giraffe said: "Little rabbit, I wish you could know how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what good food I eat, I eat it slowly through my long neck, and that deliciousness can be enjoyed for a long time."
The white rabbit looked at him without expression.
"And, in the summer, that cool water flowing slowly through my long neck is so delicious. It's so nice to have a long neck! Can you imagine, little white rabbit?"
The white rabbit said slowly, "Have you ever thrown up?"
Magical White Rabbit
One day, the kangaroo was driving along a country road, when he suddenly saw the white rabbit in the middle of the road, with his ears and body almost completely on the ground as if he were listening to something...
So... Kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously, "White rabbit, may I ask what you are listening to?"
"There was a big truck that went by here half an hour ago..."
"Wow... So god!... How did you know that?..."
"He xx! That's how I broke my neck and legs..."
The Happy White Rabbit
There was a little white rabbit running happily through the forest,
and on the way it came across a giraffe rolling marijuana,
and the little white rabbit said to the giraffe: "Giraffe giraffe, why do you do things that hurt you?
Look at how beautiful this forest is, let's run through nature together!"
The giraffe looked at the marijuana cigarette, looked at the white rabbit, and threw the marijuana cigarette behind him,
and followed the white rabbit through the forest.
Then they came upon an elephant preparing to smoke cocaine,
and the White Rabbit said to the elephant, "Elephant Elephant, why do you want to hurt yourself?
Look at how beautiful this forest is, let's run together in nature!"
The elephant looked at the cocaine, looked at the rabbit, and threw the cocaine behind him,
and followed the rabbit and the giraffe through the forest.
Then they came upon a lion preparing to shoot heroin,
and the White Rabbit said to the lion, "Lion-Lion, why do you do things that hurt you?
Look at how beautiful this forest is, let's run through nature together!"
The lion looked at the syringe, looked at the white rabbit, and threw the syringe behind him, and rushed over to the white rabbit and beat him up.
The elephant and the giraffe shook with fear: "Why did you hit the white rabbit?
It was so kind, caring for our health and telling us to get closer to nature."
The lion said angrily, "This asshole rabbit, every time he gets high on ecstasy, he drags me around the forest like an idiot."
A rabbit's encounter in the company
The first company
Boss: Rabbit, are you busy at work today?
Rabbit: Not busy.
At the end of the day, the boss said to Rabbit: You don't have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
Boss: Because you can't do more for the company, that's why you're not busy, what use does the company have for you?
*The second company
Boss: Rabbit, are you busy at work today?
Rabbit: Very busy.
At the end of the day the boss said to Rabbit: You don't have to come in tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
Boss: Because you are not organized, that's why you are busy all day, what use does the company have for you?
*The third company
Boss: Rabbit, are you busy at work today?
Rabbit: Not bad.
At the end of the day the boss said to Rabbit: You don't have to come in tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
The boss: because you do not work rationally, so what is "okay" not "okay", the company wants you for what?
*The fourth company
Boss: Bunny, are you busy at work today?
Rabbit: I just finished.
At the end of the day the boss said to Rabbit: You don't have to come in tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
The boss: Because you are too inefficient, can't you check it when you are done? What is the use of the company to have you?
*Fifth company
Boss: Rabbit, are you busy at work today?
Rabbit: Some of it was done and checked, but now I'm doing something else. At the end of the shift the boss said to the rabbit: you don't have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
The boss: because you lack systematic work, some things will not do together? Why does the company need you?
*Sixth company
Boss: Rabbit, are you busy at work today?
Rabbit: I've finished all my work and I'm helping others. At the end of the shift the boss said to the rabbit: you don't have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
The boss: Because you do not have a plan, you will not plan what you want to do tomorrow? What is the use of the company to have you?
*Seventh company
Boss: Rabbit, are you busy at work today?
Rabbit: Today's work is done and tomorrow's work is done. At the end of the shift the boss said to the rabbit: you don't have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
The boss: because you do not consider the whole, you will not help colleagues to share the burden? What is the use of the company to have you ?
*The eighth company
Boss: Rabbit, are you busy at work today?
Rabbit: I'm done with today's and tomorrow's work, and now I'm helping my colleagues.
At the end of the day, the boss said to the rabbit: you don't have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
Boss: Because you are too much of a show-off, and your help is likely to cause laziness or pressure on others, so what use does the company have for you?
*Ninth company
Boss: Rabbit, are you busy at work today?
Rabbit: Wait, I'll think about it and answer you.
At the end of the day the boss said to Rabbit: You don't have to come in tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
The boss: You have no one in your sights, I asked you to even stall me again and again, what does the company need you for?
*The tenth company
Boss: Bunny, are you busy at work today?
Rabbit: I ...... I ...... Don't, don't know ...... The, what, to, answer you.
At the end of the day the boss said to the rabbit: you don't have to come tomorrow.
Rabbit: Why?
Boss: Because you don't even know if you're busy, so why should the company need you?
*The eleventh company
Boss: Bunny, are you busy working today?
Rabbit: Fuck you, I quit ~~~~~~~~~~
Boss: Hey! Have personality, our company will not let you go!
The white rabbit and the ant
The ant was walking in the forest, suddenly encountered an elephant, the ant rushed headlong into the soil, stretching out a leg.
The white rabbit was curious and asked: What are you doing?
The ant whispered to it:
Shhh ...... don't make a sound, look at me to trip a heel ......
The rabbit's thesis
One day the rabbit was writing in front of a cave, a wolf came up to him and asked: "Rabbit what are you writing? "
The rabbit replied, "I'm writing my thesis."
The wolf asked again, "What topic?"
The rabbit replied, "I'm writing about how rabbits eat wolves."
The wolf laughed at this and expressed his disbelief.
The rabbit said, "You come with me." Then after taking it into the cave, the rabbit continued to write in front of the cave. At that moment another fox came and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?"
The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper."
The fox asked, "What topic?"
The rabbit replied, "How a rabbit ate a fox."
The fox laughed out loud at this and expressed his disbelief.
The rabbit said, "You come with me." After that he took him into the cave, and after a while the rabbit came out of the cave alone and continued to write his paper.
At this time, inside the cave, a lion was sitting on a pile of white bones, picking its teeth, and looking at the rabbit's thesis: the size of an animal's ability is not determined by how powerful it is, but by who the boss behind it is!
The White Rabbit and the Boss of the Drugstore
One day, the White Rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss boss, do you have carrots here?"
The owner said, "No."
The white rabbit left.
The next day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the owner, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"
The owner said, "I told you, no!"
The white rabbit left.
On the third day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the owner: "Boss, boss, do you have any carrots here?"
The boss was furious: "How many times have I told you?! No!!! If you keep bothering me, I'll take a vise and pull out all your teeth
"
"
The boss was furious: "How many times have I told you?
The white rabbit got scared and ran away.
On the fourth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the owner: "Boss Boss, do you have a vise here?"
The boss said, "No."
The white rabbit asked, "Well, do you have any carrots?"
The boss got really angry and took out his vise and pulled out all the rabbit's teeth.
On the fifth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the owner, "Boss, boss, do you have carrot juice here?"
Three white rabbits
In a mental hospital, one day the dean wanted to see how the recovery of the three psychiatric patients, so in front of each of them put a white rabbit, the first psychiatric patients sitting on top of the rabbit, grabbed the rabbit by the ears, mouth yelling "driving", the dean shook his head; the second person turned his back to the rabbit, and the second person yelled "driving", the dean shook his head. Shake his head; the second person's back to the rabbit, patted its buttocks, mouth said "give me chase", Dean sighed; the third squatting there a strong touch the rabbit, Dean looked after, satisfied with the nod, only to hear him say a sentence: "small sample, put you 300 meters, wait for me to wipe the car and then Chase you!" Dean fell to the ground and fainted ......
Discussion between the white rabbit and the dog bear
The two white rabbits and the big dog bear squatted under the tree to take a shit.
The big bear said to the white rabbit: "You white rabbits are pretty, but you're a pain in the ass! You can tell when you get a little bit of dirt on it, and it's disgusting!
The white rabbit said: Look at you! It's not!
The big bear said: Yes!
The bear said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
A genie came out of the pot and said it could grant them three wishes each.
The bear said, make him the strongest bear in the world. His wish was granted.
The white rabbit said, give him a little helmet. He got his wish too.
The bear said, "Make him the prettiest bear in the world". His wish came true again.
The white rabbit said, "Give him a bicycle. His wish came true again.
The bear said, "Turn all the other bears in the world into female bears!
The white rabbit got on his bike and said, as he ran, turn this bear into a gay ......
Don't ever piss off the white rabbit
The thing started like this:
One of my cousins had to work overtime on Sunday because the cousin's husband was going to take the driver's license test that day, and so he sent his 5-year-old
One of my cousins had to work late on Sunday because her husband had to take his driver's license test that day, so he sent his 5-year-old son, Haunted, to my house and asked me to help him for a day.
I was afraid that he would not listen to me, so I went to the market and bought him a cute little white rabbit.
He asked me what rabbits eat, and I told him to eat carrots and all green vegetables. Seeing that Alarm was having a good time with the rabbit, I went to read a book.
The rabbit ate all the carrots in a while, so he went to the refrigerator to look for green vegetables. The only green vegetables left in my refrigerator were some morning glory peppers. So he broke the peppers and fed them to the rabbit.
The rabbit refused to eat it. The white rabbit was forced to anxious, feet stomping, the sand laid in the nest stomped into the eyes of the alarm. Haunted busy with his hands to rub, but his hands are spicy, and immediately cried out in pain.
I was in the study when I heard him crying unusually hard, and I ran out to ask him what was wrong. He covered his eyes with his hands and kept crying, "The rabbit kicked me, the rabbit kicked me."
I thought the rabbit really kicked him in the eyes, scared to death, thinking if there is a failure, how can I explain to his parents?
I thought the rabbit really kicked him in the eye, and I was so scared that I thought if there was any accident, how could I explain to his parents?
I was busy running to call 120. The first time I saw this, I was able to get the ball rolling, and I was able to get the ball rolling, and I was able to get the ball rolling, and I was able to get the ball rolling, and I was able to get the ball rolling, and I was able to get the ball rolling, and I was able to get the ball rolling.
My brother's classmates panicked and dialed 120, and then remembered a little bit of first aid knowledge learned in the military training, kneeling on the ground, to hold me up.
At this time, my brother came back, saw this scene, thought his classmates want to molest me, then picked up my mom's a pointed-soled shoes, according to the unlucky man's head is a moment, blood immediately gushed out.
When my brother rushed into the kitchen to get a knife, his classmate tried to explain while desperately running downstairs.
At this point, downstairs, Wang grandmother heard screams, busy from the peephole of the security door to look out, only to see a person full of blood to run downstairs, the old man holding a knife chased behind, scared immediately call 110 police.
Originally, she had a slight stroke, this panic, hands and feet are more unsteady, all of a sudden sat on the ground, is pressed to the kitten tail.
The kitten leapt out with a wail, knocking the pot of soup over and sending flames flying. Wang Granny picked up a bottle of water and poured it over, who knew that it was filled with the Erguotou that her partner had secretly hidden. So, the whole family put out the fire while dialing 119 fire alarm.
The oldest brother's classmates desperately trying to escape, is with the oncoming up the stairs of the emergency doctor collided together. As both sides were in a hurry, they rolled into a ball and fell down the stairs.
It was then that my oldest brother's classmate explained everything to him. But the two doctors broke their arms.
When I woke up, I was busy calling my cousin and her husband again. My cousin was drinking water and when she heard the news, she choked on a mouthful of water in her throat and immediately rolled her eyes.
Her colleagues were busy playing 120; and cousin's husband heard the news, drove the car crazy to my house, even broke through three red lights.
At this point, two ambulances and two fire trucks had gathered under my house. Firefighters were about to open the hydrant, the cousin's husband's car has been driven over violently, all of a sudden hit the top, immediately water flow into a river, he then hit the steering wheel, and hit the police car just opened.
And behind, a few riding a motorcycle traffic police are speeding, and then behind, is the municipal facilities repair vehicles.
That day, it was like a Hollywood blockbuster downstairs in my house. According to statistics, five ambulances were deployed. I called one, my brother's classmates called one, two injured doctors called one, my cousin's colleague called a ......
You said there is still a difference? Don't be anxious, cousin's husband is not driving someone else's driving school car back? The old coach in the car was scared and had a heart attack, so he had to call for another one, right?
A house full of rabbits
One night, a long time no contact with an old friend from Beijing called long-distance phone, smiling to ask me to participate in her "love small test", see her interest so high, I then quickly agreed. She gave me a few things:
House, rabbit, tiger, and "I" myself, let me intuitively make up a story.
I thought about it and said: "There was a tiger chasing me, I was so scared that I hurriedly threw the rabbit to the tiger, and then ran to hide inside the house myself ......"
My old friend laughed out loud and said: "Wow, so you are such a conservative person! Tell you what, the tiger represents your husband or wife, the rabbit represents your lover, and the house represents your family. It seems that you are a family-oriented woman, and it is unlikely that you will have an affair in the future."
I felt quite satisfied when I heard her say that, so I said repeatedly, "That's that's that!" The old friend suddenly and mysteriously said over the phone: "Hey, take this question to ask your boyfriend, see what he said ......"
I thought, right ah, just can test him. My boyfriend came back from work, as soon as he stepped into the house, I rushed to welcome him, pulled him to the sofa and sat down, couldn't wait to know his answer about this problem, and was the answer I was looking forward to. Who knows that his story turned out to be:
"In the forest, I saw a tiger chasing a rabbit, I rushed to open the door of the room, so that the rabbit ran in and hid, and then drove the tiger away ......"
Listened to my boyfriend's story, I not only feel very disappointed in my heart, but also very sad, and constantly scolded him for not having a conscience, and as a result, made him inexplicable. After listening to my huffing and puffing to explain the reasons, my boyfriend laughed, he gently used his finger to point to my head, said: "Oops, who asked you to be a tigress? Can't you be gentle?" Looking at my boyfriend's serious expression, I said to myself, "Yes, why should I be a tigress!"
The next day after work, my boyfriend laughed all the way back to the house, I asked him what was so happy? He laughed so hard that he almost came up for air and said, "There is no happy event, but you know how our boss made up that story?" I shook my head.
He said, I was walking down the road and saw a vicious tigress, so I learned from the hero Wu Sung and beat it to death in three strokes. When I got home, I opened the door and looked, wow! A room full of rabbits!"
1. One person scolded another, "I'd like to spit a load of dog shit in your face real bad!"
2. I remember when a guy in my dormitory grabbed someone else's bun and ate it, saying, "That's the only thing that's worth stuffing up your ass
3. I remember when I was a kid and my elementary school teacher scolded a student, "I'll kick you out of here with a slap on the wrist!" We couldn't laugh.
4. We a few middle school students once rode a bike out, a student to kick the feet of another fatter classmate At the same time also want to scold him twice,
said:I stretched out a pig's hoof, flying up a foot...
5. A girl in our dormitory fiddled with another mm bangs: look at this mess, the dog claw planing like?
6. Someone in the dormitory to drink someone else's boiling water, hot jumped up, the mouth also called: **, so hot, pigs can not stand ah....
7. University, after class in the men's bathroom, more people, we line up, then A students told the back of the B said, "Come this way", B grateful, hurried to say, I said in the back Look how familiar it?
8. I have a junior high school classmate good to touch other people's heads, one day touching people's heads, said "head quite round ah", the classmate was annoyed, a dial pull his hand and said "you less here to me bullshit"
9. I have a classmate who often writes the wrong words, once wrote an essay in which one paragraph is a paragraph. Once wrote an article in which a paragraph is as follows: Today I saw a pile of cow shit on the road, ah, I ate a catty (surprise). Then the teacher commented: no one stopped you from eating all of it, it's okay.
10. One day, one of my classmates was walking on the road, suddenly scurried out a rat, scared him, open mouth cursed "**, scared your father!"