I actually had a hunch about your departure, but I forced myself not to think about it, because I couldn't believe it was true. I didn't fall asleep at noon, but I still didn't have the courage to send my mother a WeChat, tossing and turning for more than an hour, two words-suffering.
after getting up and going out in the afternoon, I didn't go to the lab as usual, but went straight to the place where there was no one in the school, so I walked like a soulless body. A lot of people around me passed by me riding bicycles, some were talking and laughing, playing and slapping, and some trees were dripping with water melted by snow. On my head, I wiped my hand and walked on. I didn't know where to go or what to do, because I had no bottom in my heart.
I saw that blue lagoon, which was still slightly wavy, was frozen last week. There were several white irregular spots on the lake surface near the fence, like holes formed by people throwing stones on the ice. There is no one in the pavilion, and the snow on the cornices has melted a lot. I haven't sat here watching the lake for a long time. I took out my mobile phone, clicked on the dialog with my mother, closed it again, clicked on it again, and closed it again and again. I dare not send a message, but I still have to face it, so I knew the bad news.
I walked around the campus all afternoon. Later, it was too cold. I swept a bicycle and rode it back to my dormitory. In the evening, I ate something and went out for a walk. The temperature outside is not too low, only a few degrees below zero, but I'm really cold, but I don't know where to go, which warm place to go, and I can only cry outside where others can't see!
I saw a tree turned into a ghost, and the sunlight turned into countless rays. Tears blurred my eyes and flowed down my cheeks. All afternoon, my mind was full of your voice, your exhortations, and red songs that you inadvertently hummed while cooking at home. The sound is in my ear, just like you are still by my side, but the reality is that we have been separated from each other forever.
Soon, the sunshine was gone, and the back hill was deserted. When I came down the hill, I saw a man running with a mobile phone. At this time, I thought I heard you tell me: It's too cold, go back, Sun Sun! But I don't want to go anywhere! Walking and crying, walking slowly and thinking a lot.
When I got down from the mountain, I walked into my field under the control of my consciousness. I saw that the turned-over fields were full of large and small clods, which were covered with a layer of white and flawless snow about five centimeters thick, but some big clods were not covered yet. You can see their black sides, which were vast, quiet and once prosperous, and returned to silence in winter.
I stopped at an old oil pine tree and looked up at it. It suddenly occurred to me that I was standing in front of you, but I couldn't save your body knocked down by the big storm. I could only watch your pine needles turn yellow and dry day by day, but I couldn't do anything about it. Like my grandmother, I watched you being knocked down by illness and aging so quickly, but I couldn't go home to see you, and I couldn't do anything about it.
hey! Life is always connected, the life of a tree is still so fragile for more than a hundred years, and human life is even more vulnerable.
There is a rhubarb cat sitting next to the fallen old Chinese pine tree. I squatted down to look at it, and it looked at me, and turned its head away. I thought it was helpless, like me, like me! I cried again!
I lament the ruthlessness of fate. Fate, why can you control other people's lives? You are still so cruel. Do you want others to enjoy family happiness? You have to let this damn three years of 219-221 take my three relatives away!
Grandma, I still remember that when I started school in early March, you could still see me off. At that time, you actually didn't want to walk more. After grandpa's death, you seem to have changed your old "strength" and become reticent. You are no longer willing to watch videos or go out. Sometimes you lie down for hours, brushing videos with your mobile phone and ignoring anyone.
After you got sick, I gradually stopped videotaping with you, because I didn't dare to face the speed of your aging, black hair turned into white hair, sagging cheeks and deepening wrinkles on my face. And you don't want to talk. I also told my aunt that my grandmother seems to be autistic. Originally, it was just a joke, but you really suffered from cerebellar atrophy. People say that in the end, you will not know anyone about this disease. I don't believe it. I don't believe that you will not know me after living with you for so many years, but the reality is, alas, when I finally video with you, you really don't know me, and you can't even open your eyes to see me when you hear my voice. My heart is broken and I cry against the wall of the dormitory corridor.
Mom said that you couldn't even drink water. At that time, I knew something, but you didn't wait for me to work, didn't see me studying for a doctorate, and didn't even wait for me to go home! How could you have the heart to leave me?
it's realistic, alas! I am an atheist, and I don't believe in any immortal God, but I really want to have a heaven in the sky, and you are there. Until your death, my family didn't know what the disease was, only that it was stomach trouble and heart disease. Hospitals in several provincial capitals have seen it, but no one dared to diagnose it, and what disease became a mystery. Sometimes, I think they are all useless, and they are afraid that they can't cure the old people and ruin their future. But then I think, people, how many people are not interest animals, and how many people are like Grandpa Wu Mengchao?
I think now, Grandma, you must be in heaven. There are no more pains there. You must be watching TV with Grandpa in the sky, and you are arguing about what channel to watch. In fact, I always feel that you have not left, and you must be watching us in parallel time and space. The movie "Journey to the Dream Ring" said: "Death is not the end of life, forgetting is, and the real death is that no one in the world remembers you." So, you must still be there, because as long as I am here, I will remember you!
Now, I want to write down you in my heart, because there are really many stories.
There are no ups and downs in grandma's life, but more are ordinary days, but this does not affect her greatness at all.
first, she is a great person and a great mother.
She has six children in her life, including five daughters and one son, and her mother is the eldest. Naturally, I am also the eldest of my grandchildren. Grandma said, in fact, she didn't want so many children, but in those days, without a son, people would judge you, so the birth of two aunts, three aunts and four aunts was actually an accident, just to have a son.
Grandpa is very busy at work, and he doesn't forget to play mahjong in his spare time after work. In grandma's words, he never keeps house, so the burden of raising several children falls on her.
I can't imagine now. At that time, all six children in my family graduated from junior high school or above (the mother graduated from a technical secondary school). What kind of courage is there, because people say that you should provide for one child to go to college. How can you afford it? But she doesn't. She wants every child to go to school. Although none of the six children is a college student, they all received education equally. Therefore, in a family with many children, the phenomenon of sacrificing one child's future for another child to go to school has never happened in grandma's family. Because fairness is her pursuit.
second, she is a person who dedicates herself and has no self. She is my first teacher and life mentor!
Grandma has never had a career in her 74-year life. She said that she could have been a teacher, but when she went to report for duty, the students laughed at her for being fat, because she had given birth to several children and had a big belly, and the students judged her from the outside. She went home crying and never did it again. From then on, she took care of her children. Later, I also brought my children's children.
It is said that China's parents don't have themselves. They spend the first half of their lives for their parents and the second half for their children. Grandma is such a person. The southernmost place she has been to in her life is Shijiazhuang, because Siyi opened a shop there. Siyi always wanted her mother to see the place where she had lived for more than ten years. So, in 217, it was the first time that my grandmother went that far, when my grandfather was still alive. The second and last time was around May 1 this year. My grandmother might have a premonition that her health was not very good, but also to go to Shijiazhuang for another check-up, so my mother took her grandmother to Shijiazhuang again.
The northernmost place she has been to in her life is Bei 'an, because grandma's sister, Aunt Lao, is there, and besides, she hasn't been to several places. She spent most of her life walking around the stove at home, and then looking after the children, and I was one of the children's children, grandma's favorite child, and grandma's favorite child.
in fact, grandma is a bad-tempered person, like a big yellow cat, who blows up when provoked. But because of me, she has no bad temper. Of all her grandchildren, she is the best for me, so let's start with education.
The beginning of my education was the kindergarten my grandmother sent me to. The kindergarten was informal and was run by my grandparents and grandchildren, but it was the beginning of my childhood education. She drives me to and from school every day, which is the distance of tens of meters, but she is extremely happy.
Later, I went to primary school, because my grandmother's home was not near the best primary school in the city, but in order to get the best education, she bought two cigarettes and went to find her long-lost brother, so I went to the best primary school. I will always be grateful to this school, because even now, many schools can't reach the level of our school, which is the dream school of many children.
Later, I went to junior high school, because it was not near the best junior high school, so she took two more cigarettes and went to her brother, so I went to the best junior high school in the city.
In the senior high school entrance examination, I didn't do well. I didn't know if I could enter No.1 Middle School. If I couldn't, I had to go to a vocational high school. Because I was confident and stubborn at that time, I thought I could definitely enter No.1 Middle School, so I didn't fill in any other wishes at all. At that time, I remember grandma was very sad at that time, but she didn't know what to do. Because of high school, she had no choice. This needed to be tested. Fortunately, I was admitted to No.1 Middle School in the end. Later, she would proudly tell others that the high school was admitted by the children themselves, but I didn't help.
But just the fact that primary school and junior high school went to the best school in the city, she didn't help her six children, even her own grandson (uncle's child). I was the only child who enjoyed such treatment.
In fact, the enlightenment of education is not so much the school as my grandmother. Grandma is also a junior high school graduate. Her hard handwriting is not good-looking, but her brush handwriting is good-looking. Unfortunately, I didn't leave the words she once wrote. When I learned pen writing in the third grade of primary school and wanted to learn brush writing, she didn't know where to dig out her "family heirloom"-a brass ink box and a black inkstone, all of which were mine, as well as the old golden-pointed pen and the new and old pen that had never been used, which became my treasures, because I love learning, and other children naturally couldn't get these things from her. She likes children who love learning. Because she is an old man who loves to learn, we will talk about this later.
I learned from my grandmother not only theoretical knowledge, but also practical knowledge.
If I trace back to the origin of plants that I like so much now, I'm afraid it will be in Grandma's "Herb Garden". Whether it's vegetables, fruit trees or ornamental flowers, yes, there are herbs in the cracks of bricks.
The reason why I didn't know about field crops until I was a graduate student is because grandma didn't have these things in her "Herb Garden". Before my uncle got married in 21, there were two small gardens in the courtyard of the "small villa" on the second floor. The garden near the west was planted with hairy cherries, plums, green onions, tomatoes, cucumbers, beans, eggplant and peppers (sorry, there may be others, but I can only think of so many). Later, plum trees were cut down because of the total length of insects, which broadened their horizons. Although hairy cherries, I often hold small scissors to cut off its sick leaves wrapped by insects and leaves eaten by insects, which is very fulfilling, and it survives because of its numerous red fruits every year.
The small garden on the east side is composed of several compound diamond-shaped flower ponds with red bricks obliquely placed in the center, and there are cordate telosma, iris, dahlias of various colors and Zhu Dinghong. There is a sand fruit tree in the southernmost part. The sand fruit tree is fragrant every year, which seems to be magical. It makes me want to smell it once and again, because its fragrance makes people feel happy. When it blooms every year, even half the yard smells like this.
Outside the gate, there is a garden. In that garden, beans, eggplants and cucumbers are also planted. In addition, peanuts have been planted. That is the first time I know that peanuts bear fruit underground. I also planted potatoes, and I also participated in the planting. At that time, I thought it was amazing to cut potatoes into pieces and press them into the ground and cover them with some soil. Later, I learned that it was called tuber propagation, because plant cells were totipotent. I also planted pumpkin, which is also called pumpkin. Although I don't like it because it's really not delicious, I like its appearance and golden color, so that all the cups I use now are pumpkin-shaped cups. My first understanding of pumpkin was in my grandmother's garden.
Even in the gaps between red bricks in the yard, there are plants. Grandma said, that's called a wife (dandelion), that's called sonchus, that's called moss, that's called purslane, that's called plantain, that's called grey vegetables ... Now think about it, there are Stellaria, Polygonum aviculare, Sargassum, Abundant, thistle, Fei Lian, etc., because they grow the most luxuriantly, so they will be with grandma regularly. Whether pulling by hand or digging with a knife, these weeds are always inexhaustible, and they are also "they are tall once more in the spring wind". At that time, I hated weeds to death, but who could have predicted that eighteen years later, the child would be weeding in the experimental field again? Fate is really impermanent!
When I was a child, I knew a lot more plants than children of the same age. This is undoubtedly thanks to my grandmother, who taught me so many practical skills and developed such a deep memory of plants.
Grandma's handiwork is also good. She is good at origami and sewing. She taught me how to origami airplanes, boxes, clothes, pants, sailboats and paper crane.
She taught me what color clothes to sew and what thread to use. Before sewing, I must tie a knot so that it won't open.
Grandma's cooking is delicious, too. I like it very much. Because my mother has to go to work and she is not good at cooking, so I am in Grade Two.