Text/Min'er
You read it right. The title is that I live my life like shit. I am not a headline-grabber. It's just that in this society, some people can live their lives like shit. Poetry, of course some people live their lives like shit. Write it down as a warning.
During the National Day holiday, which was celebrated across the country, I dropped my child at my mother’s house like a bomb and started a two-day relaxing vacation. I felt a little overwhelmed when I suddenly felt free. I was so busy that I completely forgot about all the plans I had made. So I just scrolled through my circle of friends out of boredom to see what everyone was doing!
? This brush showed the imbalance. My friend and her husband went to the world of two in Hainan, and they laughed coquettishly. My brother and sister-in-law went to Yangzhou, and they showed off the food and love all the way; The whole family ate crabs at Gucheng Lake, where the father was kind and the son was filial; even the single colleagues participated in the sorority party at the farmhouse and gained a lot. As for me, I didn’t even wash my face. I was lying on the bed doing nothing. My husband next to me was shouting so loudly that I felt like I could sleep for seven or forty-nine days. Suddenly, I couldn't help but feel that during this rare vacation, my sister had no one to accompany her or take care of her, so she could only waste time at home. So she pushed her drooling husband to wake up: "Just sleep, sleep, sleep, until the day comes." I'm like a pig at night." My husband was disturbed in his dream, so he retorted angrily: "It's none of your business that you're so pushy when you're at home!" When I heard that, I was furious: "Who are you talking about? You don’t want me to be at home, do you? It’s annoying to see me, right? I don’t want to stay at home yet!” So, he put on his clothes, picked up his bag, and walked alone on the street, surrounded by passers-by in groups, chatting and laughing. It makes me feel so lonely. ? The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. A quarrel during a good vacation completely ended my good mood, so I posted a message on WeChat Moments to accuse my husband of his "evil deeds." Then a text war broke out. You replied to one and I responded to each other to attack and abuse each other. It was very lively.
After wandering around for a day, I was bored and tired. Of course I didn’t feel good when I got home. My husband also resisted tenaciously and refused to bow his head. They found trouble with each other and started fighting again over boiling water. He never scolded me for being unkempt. Speaking of my greed for vanity, I complained about his laziness and carelessness which extended to irresponsibility. In the end, I yelled: Divorce! When the war ended and the two sides used their anger to negotiate an agreement, I packed up a few clothes and rushed back to my mother's house. The child was sitting on the floor mat playing games. When he saw me getting so angry, he burst into tears in fright. Then the house became a mess. My mother was busy coaxing him, and my father asked me why I was so crazy. I clamored that I couldn't bear my current life and wanted a divorce, and they tried to persuade me and teach me all kinds of things.
Finally, in the dead of night, the chaos of the day gradually calmed down. I had tears in my eyes and was filled with grievances. I used to be a vigorous woman like a sunflower, bringing laughter to the people around me. When did you become a loser in life? I have to deal with the child's poop, urine, and crying every day. Every time I want to slap him, when I think that it is my own fault, I will give myself a hard slap. Because I no longer have to work after raising children, my social circle has become narrower and narrower. If I occasionally want to meet someone for a cup of coffee and complain about it in my free time, I can't. I often wear a gray old lady's shirt, and all the beautiful clothes in my wardrobe are put away because I can no longer wear them and I have no intention of dressing up. Complaining to your husband about the hardships of raising children will not bring you any comfort. Instead, you will be lectured: "Isn't this how other mothers have been, and I haven't seen anyone else complain, so you are just being pretentious." So I went back to my mother's house to talk to my parents. Venting: "I don't want to live like this anymore, I want a divorce." Then it made my parents all kinds of uneasy and worried.
I am a complete bad guy, impatient with my children, not gentle with my husband, and not filial to my family. Even though I often make chicken soup, I still can't manage my emotions well, and my life falls into a vicious cycle. Often, just because of something trivial, a butterfly effect occurs, causing everyone around you to be unhappy. Calm down, reflect, and repeat afterward. I finally lived a shitty life. I wanted to stay away, and others wanted to escape. The stench gathered into a dark cloud and pressed down on my head, making me breathless.
But, I really don’t know, why do I live my life like this?