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Reality in the world: After I have tasted hunger, I just want to live as a worthless pig.
I know that many people have a lot of beauty and warmth in their childhood memories, but my memory is more sensitive and painful.

When I was 1 1 years old, I left home and went to a middle school in the village to live in junior high school. I only go home once a week on weekends. At that time, our conditions were very poor. There is no hot water for washing face, hair and clothes, only cold water is provided in summer and winter (the hot water in the school boiling water room is only enough for teachers). Fortunately, I didn't develop in junior high school, so I didn't have any physical problems, but for other girls who have already had a holiday,

And the accommodation is not that kind of bunk bed, everyone sleeps directly on the concrete floor:

Forty or fifty girls crowded into a shabby room with air leakage on all sides, and spread the straw mats brought from home directly on the cold ground. Basically, everyone only has a thin quilt, and there is no cushion. Even if they are shivering at MINUS several degrees, they can only carry it with difficulty.

There is no bathroom in the dormitory, so you need to go down the stairs to the first floor to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, the toilet door is broken all the year round, and I often struggle to go to the toilet in the dead of winter.

First, it's too cold, as long as you get up and cover with a warm bed, it's as cold as ice;

Second, through the rows of sleeping girls, carefully walk past them step by step, and it is easy to step on other people's bodies if you are not careful;

Third, the street lamps in the corridor are on and off sometimes, and I often go downstairs in the dark. In winter, the cold wind whistling outside, the school is backed by mountains, and occasionally owls and dogs bark. The north wind whimpers, and the black wind is particularly scary. Besides, the toilet door is in disrepair, and I'm scared. Therefore, in order to avoid getting up at night, I often stop drinking a mouthful of water at night.

Poor accommodation is not the worst, but the most unbearable thing is the hunger that afflicts you every day.

You will definitely ask: you were not born in the fifties and sixties. When you were in junior high school, it was already in the 1990s. At that time, the people of the whole country had had enough to eat and wear. How can it be so exaggerated?

Perhaps for the post-90s, post-00s or even post-80s who grew up in the city, they have no feeling about hunger.

However, in rural areas of poor areas in the 1990s, although it was no longer a problem to have enough to eat at home, many children who left home to go to township middle schools simply didn't have enough to eat at school.

Because at that time, when we were in junior high school, we had to bring rice and vegetables from home, and then we brought a steamed rice cup, made of enamel, for everyone to see. Here's the thing:

Vegetables brought to school are generally pickles or pickled sauerkraut, dried plums, fried peanuts and dried radishes, dried lobster sauce and fish. Because they are not stored in the refrigerator, they go bad easily and fresh vegetables can't be taken.

Every day, we need to carry buckets to draw water from a well nearly a mile from the school, then take rice and put some water in it, and then carry them to the big steamer in the school cafeteria, one cup next to another, and fill the steamer. After class, we will go to the canteen to find our own cups and take them to the dormitory to eat.

Usually a small cup is only one or two meters long. At that time, snacks were not abundant, and many students didn't have pocket money to buy snacks. Therefore, these foods are far from enough for growing children.

Because many people buy the same design, it is difficult to tell who is who. In order to distinguish them, some people will write their names on the cups with ink pens, some people will tie different colors of wool on the handles to show the difference, and some people will simply break the edges to reveal a small piece of black as a mark.

But despite this, there will still be people who serve it wrongly. Many times, I went to the canteen a little late after class, and my meal was taken away by others.

When the rice is finished, the diners can't find a cup of rice. He often cries with anger. When he returned to the dormitory, he looked at other people's delicious pickles and radishes, and his stomach growled reluctantly.

Of course, sometimes cups will disappear, but this is not because others end up with cups by mistake, but because some people are always hungry, and they deliberately take other people's food by accident.

When I came home at the weekend, my stomach had not been satisfied for a whole week. I smell home-cooked food and often eat it all at once for revenge.

I can eat three or four bowls of taro rice. At that time, it was popular to use such a big blue-edged bowl to hold rice, unlike now, they all use very small white bowls.

My mother looked at me like a hungry ghost and asked, "why doesn't a girl eat at home?" Didn't she eat enough at school? " This question, tears came down.

Because of hunger, I often sing an empty plan in my stomach at the beginning of the fourth class in the morning. My mind is unconsciously distracted and I can't hear what the teacher said at all. The whole class is the kind I spent.

Clear your desk early when class is over, and just wait for the bell to ring and run to the canteen to serve food at a speed of 100 meters, so as not to be carried away by others late.

This is just a sad reminder. Several teachers in junior high school seem to prefer procrastination. They always extend their explanations passionately after class. I even thought about dropping out of school because of hunger, but I finally gave up because I was afraid of being scolded by my father. It can be said that I survived these three years.

Later, I went to the county to study, and finally I didn't have to bring my own food and vegetables. I just bought it in the canteen. However, because there were all girls in the class at that time, there were no boys, and the bowls everyone brought were very small, I began to feel a little embarrassed, so I also brought an enamel bowl as big as usual.

As a result, two weeks later, I was dizzy with hunger, so I went home and took a big one to school.

So big! Its capacity is equivalent to a big bowl of soup at ordinary times. This appetite is more like a man than a man. Isn't it horrible?

This is such a big bowl that I don't feel hungry anymore.

How sad is it to not have enough to eat?

When I was young, my neighbor next door got tuberculosis before he was 40. His wife eloped with a troupe actor, leaving him with three children. Since then, my neighbor has been seriously ill and unable to work. There has been no harvest and no money at home for many years. It is often the boss who helps the west through the difficult times. Several children are sallow and emaciated all the year round.

The impressive detail is that when we were having dinner, when our family was quarrelling around the dining table, there was a sudden violent cough at the door (at that time, we didn't close the door until bedtime, especially in summer, when the door was open and the wind penetrated into the room to cool down). When we leaned forward, our male neighbor leaned weakly against my door, coughing violently and looking at you with dying eyes. He coughed for a long time.

Our whole family froze, chopsticks with vegetables in them were in the air, and even I, a chatterbox, became quiet consciously.

My mother asked him with concern: So-and-so, haven't you eaten yet? Is there nothing to eat at home?

He nodded, and then my mother quickly got up and walked into the back room, then quickly took out a pot of rice and handed it to him (because we ate almost all the rice), then turned back to the kitchen and took a big bowl, and dialed a bowl full of dishes on the dining table to bring it back to him.

He moved home slowly with rice and vegetables, and he kept coughing. He died after being ill for about three or four years, but his severe cough remained in my mind, and it was stuck in my throat with thick phlegm.

Lu Yao wrote a picture of Sun Shaoping who didn't have enough to eat in the second paragraph of the second chapter of the first volume of Ordinary World:

"Every day's work is firm, from two o'clock in the afternoon to dinner. This period is the most difficult for Sun Shaoping. Whenever he picks a load of garbage from the slope outside the school gate and sends it to the mountain behind the school, he only feels his eyes shining and his head spinning, and his thinking completely disappears. He just crawled on the mountain road step by step with two trembling legs ... "

In the article "Eating Bad", Mo Yan also wrote that when he was a child, he was extremely short of food and often competed with his brothers and sisters for food, which led him to think that he had always been an ugly foodie, and once he sat at the table, he could not be elegant. He also wants to taste delicious food slowly and let others think that he was born noble, civilized and educated, but when he eats, he can't wait to show his true colors.

The memory of his childhood hunger is real. Although these psychological activities in his mind contain cold humor and ridicule, people can still see how much hunger affects a person's character.

Some people say that the picture of Mo Yan's hunger when he was young is sensational against common sense, and that he deliberately smeared the living conditions at that time, because you have never tasted hunger at all. After all, it is a natural "why not eat meat?" ...

What childhood snacks do children born in the 1980s remember?

At that time, there were really not many fancy things, only dried sweet potatoes, fried soybeans, peanuts and sesame cakes, and the rest of the rice was dried and fried with some salt. When there are really no snacks to eat, you can also take out black bean curd residue, pickled Chinese onion, sour beans, sour red pepper and pickled ginger as snacks. ...

I can still eat as an adult, probably because I had a big appetite when I was a child, so far I have never been on a diet. I seldom eat on purpose, but I don't know why. No matter how I eat, I won't get too fat or gain too much meat.

Usually, when sitting at the dinner table with female colleagues or friends, they basically just eat vegetables instead of meals, or serve a small bowl of rice. Only one third of the rice means that they no longer move chopsticks.

Only I sit there, rice, dishes or other staple foods, still guiding my behavior with the concept of wasting shame. No matter how much I eat regardless of other people's surprised eyes, there is no elegance and reserve that a lady should have.

Even when you are in love, you still don't hide it.

That's what I think anyway. If I pretend for a long time, it will be exposed sooner or later. Instead of pretending to be too tired, I'd better show my true colors in advance. If I can accept it, I will continue. If I can't accept it, I will forget it!

You ask me, aren't you embarrassed that a woman can eat so much and live like a pig?

To be honest, at the beginning, I really blamed myself and was ashamed. Do you think you must pretend to be elegant in front of others? How can you expose your true colors like this?

After being confused for a few times, you will be relieved. This is you. Why bother yourself? This is a habit brought about by the hunger accumulated in your initial life;

At present, when too many people lack appetite, it may be a hopeless simple happiness to eat a lot and live like a pig.

Oh! I can only comfort myself like this.

Then, I don't intend to change the problem of overeating, so I will continue to eat and drink like a pig, as long as I am not crazy and obese, I will let it go. ...