I just don't want people to know that I'm trying.
My roommate is busy with studies, clubs and all kinds of textual research every day. Everyone knows that she works hard. Not only in the dormitory, but also in the class, most people think that she works hard. Everyone knows that she attaches great importance to learning. She wants to be a class committee. She will get a teacher qualification certificate. She must pass the CET-4 and CET-6 Computer Test.
She doesn't mind that everyone knows her goal, nor does she mind that others see her efforts.
Looking at her like this reminds me of a female classmate in high school.
She is a chubby girl, maybe because she is a girl, otherwise I really want to use the word simple and honest to describe her. She and my roommate have many similarities, and the biggest similarity is hard work.
She is really not smart. She is also a science student. I always hate my stupidity. I can't solve big physical calculation problems by myself. I always ask others for advice, but I'm afraid others will think I'm bored. So I often ask Xueba three questions that I don't understand. Xueba never talks about it. I don't understand. As long as I can fill in a more positive answer, I will give up and stop asking. Are the remaining two questions their own? Study hard? Most of the time, I don't know what it is. I basically got it from others at the last minute. Learn from it? After an ambiguous answer, I handed it in in a hurry.
This is the biggest difference between me and her.
She will ask me and any other students questions, and the questions she asks are basically from the mouth of the teacher? Send sub-questions? As long as she doesn't understand at all, she won't mind what others say. Why can't it be like this? Such words, laugh it off, if you don't understand, ask again, again and again, she really gets a lot of dirty eyes. Before class starts every ten minutes, the students want to seize the opportunity to ask questions to the teacher. They all line up at the podium, but as long as everyone sees her talking to the teacher, they will all return to their seats and give up asking questions. As we all know, she won't leave the teacher until the next class.
Many people despise people who are more stupid than themselves, and so am I. I always hold a little contempt for her. But it is such a fool in everyone's eyes, ranking in the top ten in his class, ranking second in the college entrance examination, and attending a university of 2 1 1. How many smart people do we have? A university, a college? Or? Some college? Li complained that the school was too dirty.
Senior three, it's not that I haven't thought about hard work.
In the third year of high school, the grades are always checked from the end of the report card. There is no hurry. But I'm always afraid that I won't make the expected progress after I work hard, and I'm afraid that others will think I'm a person who doesn't have enough brains to learn. In the first two years of high school, I tried to study hard alone in the dormitory to narrow the distance of being thrown out. In class, I still look arrogant and indifferent to my grades. I want people to think that my poor grades are not because I am stupid, but because I don't want to work hard. I am not a master with a bad brain.
But I want to catch up, no one wants to stop and wait for me. In a day, the time in the class is always much more than that in the dormitory. Class is about 14 hours every day, and the dormitory does not exceed 4 hours except sleeping. Deduct some trivialities and steal a little laziness after taking a shower and washing clothes.
You can imagine how I stood still when my grades were not good at all.
I wish I could be the target of public criticism? Like a bitch? Yes The so-called academic bitch is a person who always shouts that she didn't review, but her grades stunned everyone. Maybe just to make yourself look easy to learn.
I know I'm not the only one with this curiosity. How many people hold this idea and want others to think that you are not bad, but in the end it is yourself who is delayed.
I just don't want others to know that I'm trying, so I play around all day to let people know that I'm just not using my brain, not incompetent.
I just don't want others to know that I am working hard, so I spent more than half a month preparing my speech at the class Committee meeting and telling people, ah, the election campaign, if you don't tell me, I will forget it. There is no preparation at all! ?
I just don't want others to know that I'm trying, so I'm getting worse and worse.
All the sorrows in this world are the same.
Favorite color changes from cold to warm, and people who don't like sweet begin to eat sweet. After experiencing all the feelings I didn't know, I realized that all the sorrows in this world are the same and will make people sad. Notes before the text of a book or after the title of an article.
Go to bed late, but you can wake up early. The sun shines on the beige curtains, full of warmth. After all, it was a quiet day. Sometimes I love its calm appearance, and sometimes I am tired of its monotonous depression. Music is in full bloom in the house, accompanied by the fragrance of lavender. Originally should be happy, but there is a faint discomfort in my heart. I can't name it, it's expectation and panic. It seems that in the next week, there will be a lot of excitement that has nothing to do with yourself. These lively decorations make the whole world stir and make some people in the corner shudder. How many people are happy in this excitement, how many people are freezing.
Prepare gifts for yourself in advance, wish yourself a happy holiday in advance, and make all the happiness in advance before you have the courage to wait for the fireworks to cool down.
Think of those hardships in the early years, for the so-called love, dreams and life. Now, I have let them go and learned to let nature take its course. More and more lost, more and more back to nature.
Favorite color changes from cold to warm, and people who don't like sweet begin to eat sweet. After experiencing all the feelings I didn't know, I realized that all the sorrows in this world are the same and will make people sad. As I get older, I really feel that time flies. In the best wheatgrass, it's a pity that you didn't arrive as scheduled, and I didn't bloom as scheduled. Even if we meet again, it will no longer be love, but life. Just thinking about it makes me tremble.
After all, I am tired, and I can't write touching tears or tears. I can only write some feelings. But there are too many memories hidden in these feelings. Yes, I am full of nostalgia for the simple past that I can't go back. I miss the luck of having breakfast with someone, the innocence of having fun with someone, and the good mornings and nights in the past. It's just that what I miss at the moment has finally turned into nostalgia.
I grew up here quietly, waiting for two flowers to bloom, but only waiting for the sad beauty of Mansa Zhu Hua, which is the flower on the other side. Without flowers and leaves, I will never see it.
Open the webpage, people break up every day, and people are together every day. Fortunately, I'm not so pessimistic. Let's pay attention together. After all, I can't achieve great things. What matters is these little feelings, little love and little happiness. Everything is based on your own comfort, and anyone who breaks through the inner defense will be eliminated one by one.
When I can't sleep in the middle of the night, I want to chat with someone, turn over the address book over and over again, and then just sleep silently. Those who are willing to sympathize with you and talk to you late at night are already wives, fathers or have their own companions. You shouldn't bother yourself so late. After only two years, everything has changed dramatically. Many people have changed from one person to two or even three, and only you have changed from two to one.
Sometimes, I feel ridiculous and believe in the true feelings of the world too much. I always think that a person's kindness to a person will not die easily, while a person's feelings for a person can last for several years. But later, I gradually realized that no beauty can be endless, just like no love can be truly faithful. Time is the best standard to measure feelings, and no matter how deep feelings are, they can't escape time.
Therefore, the deep feelings you think are more or less self-righteous.
There are fewer and fewer exciting loves, so I will never forget simple feelings.
Occasionally, when I see a couple with schoolbags in Seeds of Love in the subway, I can't help but look at them more, as if I saw my immature self. Every look and smile is green, and every sentence is mumbling. I know there is still pure love in my heart, and I long for them to last forever.
The girl I almost blacklisted.
? 2014 on March 29th, it was sunny and rainy. ?
Miss negative energy wrote this passage in her diary. This seems to be the beginning of an ordinary girl's diary. However, if you open the thick stack in front, you will find that the weather in most diaries is uncertain, and the mood column is always rain, snow, hail, sandstorm, tornado and the most popular smog in Beijing.
She will sigh for an hour because of a friend's words, cry all night because of poor grades, and write down her parents' phone numbers in a circle of friends in time? Abandoned by the whole world? In this case, the most terrible time, because of lovelorn, she started the Xianglinsao model and complained to us about her ex-boyfriend for a whole year.
So, we call her Miss Negative Energy. People who are familiar with her seldom call her at the party, because her low pressure will make a room full of people feel depressed, and the chatter in the circle of friends will never see everyone's comments again. Occasionally speaking of her, we can only feel that what a good girl she was in those days, how did she become like this?
What a nice girl she is.
Everyone who grew up with Miss Negative Energy knows that when 12 years old, the "seed of love" of the little boy and the little girl was a girl who would glow when thrown into the crowd.
Handsome, with excellent grades, he was the president of the student union and the captain of the debate team in junior high school, and the teacher was deeply favored by parents. She is the real little princess in everyone's eyes. Occasionally, her waywardness is regarded as a little girl's anger, and her small mistakes are also sighed with tolerance by adults. What makes other girls jealous is that she belongs to the girl who all the boys chased together in those years.
In the second day of junior high school, Miss Negative Energy was with the famous school grass. Boys also belong to the man of the hour on campus, the champion of speech contest and the main force of the school basketball team, but they also have a handsome sunny face. The two of them belong to the star files in the puppy love camp. The other girls gnash their teeth and reluctantly admit that only they deserve each other.
Therefore, miss negative energy has always been smooth sailing since she was a child, and she has never failed to get what she wants.
In those years, she was also a famous red man in school, so she wouldn't complain about this and that, as if life would be good as long as she lived casually. However, with the passage of time, banyan trees will wither, cicadas will die, and the swings on the playground will be stained with traces.
In the first year of high school, Miss Negative Energy was lovelorn.
This is almost the first setback in her life. Without the protection of teachers and the comfort of parents, the little princess's gem palace collapsed instantly.
Some people will pull their mouths contemptuously when they see this: what is this? It's a little girl's family It'll be all right in a minute. As her classmate, I also simply think that time is a scalpel, and all wounds can heal slowly. But Miss Negative Energy has the same scalpel, but she has been dismembered.
After feeling depressed, the arrogant miss negative energy found that there was almost no one to talk to. Wayward temper and arrogant attitude make many onlookers hold the attitude of watching her jokes, and she has been unconsciously isolated by the crowd for a long time. Then, Miss Negative Energy found that it seemed that all the lights in the world suddenly went out, the doors closed, the audience left, and everything returned to the original worst state.
At this time, Miss Negative Energy did not hesitate to choose the worst decompression method and drowned herself with food.
Eat when you are sad, when you want to cry, when you can't sleep, and when you wake up. During that time, potato chips and coke were the personal companions of Miss Negative Energy. The rise of blood sugar brought a sense of fullness to her body and greatly eased her mood.
I watched miss negative energy develop horizontally like a steamed stuffed bun, and I was really worried about her. As a kind classmate, I tried to kindly remind you that eating too much is bad for your stomach, isn't it? I think it's getting harder and harder for you to finish 800 meters ahead of schedule recently. ?
Miss negative energy's eyes squeezed into a crack, as if she were going to cry: but people are very sad. ?
How many people can be heartbroken by the same person, but what is this inexplicable sense of humor now? I told her that even so, you can't help yourself. There is no harm imposed on yourself. It's someone else's fault that others don't cherish it. There's no need to punish yourself.
Miss Negative Energy's eyes are dim: Do you know how much I miss him? Do you know how much he hurt me? I will never be happy in my life! Forget it, you don't know love. ?
She poked and opened a packet of crispy corners.
During the winter vacation of senior one, the junior high school students of Miss Negative Energy have dinner. Students in different high schools with her always have the same expression when they see Miss Negative Energy. Especially the teenager chasing her, with a face? Am I blind? The expression, tacitly refused to recall the past at the dinner table. Of course, Miss Negative Energy is also lonely. The stalks of the school flowers and grass have never been played, and everyone's meals are delicious and tasteless.
The boys talked for a long time after the party. Pig knife? And then what? Young and ignorant? At this point, the princess crown of Miss Negative Energy was taken off by everyone.
Throughout the high school stage, Miss Negative Energy is an ordinary female classmate, with average grades, bloated figure, frowning and unsmiling. Her youth is a large dose of boredom, covered with a thin layer of loneliness and sprinkled with a little self-esteem. Several times, she watched the beautiful skirt spread out, trying to lose weight and change herself. However, the third year of high school is coming, and the doomsday life makes Miss Negative Energy, as the dog of the third year of high school, completely indifferent to other things. Oreo is always piled up next to thick books.
At that time, whenever she saw a girl with a much better figure than herself, what would she swear to say? Little bitch? I don't know whether I am alive or dead. The college entrance examination is coming soon. Who are you wearing such a short skirt for? After a complaint, I cried and buried my head in a book to study. She feels that she is moving towards a bright road, and when everyone looks down on her or herself, she still has a chance to take the college entrance examination. Miss Negative Energy's performance has indeed improved, and even once rushed into the performance circles of Tsinghua and Peking University. When people around her looked at her with surprised eyes, her disdainful expression seemed to say? Any time is fine with me. .
Miss negative energy has the best literature synthesis and the worst mathematics. She never won the first prize, but she also won several loud slaps. When she did well in the exam, she felt revenge on the whole world, but when she did badly in the exam, she complained and felt that the whole world owed her. From beginning to end, miss negative energy has maintained a proud posture. In class, she stretched her already big chest even bigger, putting one leg on the other, holding her chin in one hand and drawing with a brush in the other.
After the college entrance examination, I got the admission notice from Peking University and began to worry about a few pimples on my face. I heard that Miss Negative Energy failed in the exam, and her best literature was wrong with twelve multiple-choice questions. After being deducted 48 points, her dream was destroyed beyond recognition, and her poor math was brought to the extreme. Miss negative energy feels that her life seems to be easily erased by jokes. There is not much suspense. I was one of the students with the highest scores in the whole school, but in the end I only went to one or two A-class colleges.
That long summer vacation, in all our collective activities, we didn't see miss negative energy. I occasionally saw her in the street of a small town. She walked silently along the wall with her head down, clutching her schoolbag belt tightly, and her head looked like a small dark cloud.
I have seen her walk out of the convenience store, buy some bags of menstrual towels, then go to the steamed stuffed bun shop next door to buy some hot meat buns, and then walk home in a hurry, still with her head down.
College life has begun. Although I am in the same city, I really seldom see Miss Negative Energy. I can only know her current situation through my circle of friends and QQ space. It's not that I care about her, it's just that she lost weight, failed to lose weight, fell in love, quarreled and failed the class, all of which will be broadcast live on social networks in detail. It is still full of complaints and a lot of spit. Miss negative energy shows her dissatisfaction with life in a 360-degree way. At the same time, she also succeeded in making us afraid to share happiness in front of her, for fear of accidentally stabbing her sensitive nerves.
Well, she's lying alone on many people's WeChat blacklists. They don't look at her circle of friends and don't let her look at her circle of friends.
It is said that love can change a person.
I haven't seen her for a year, and I happened to go to her school to give a lecture on the promotion of new books. We were received by an official of the student union of our school. She is not tall, looks like ordinary people, wears ordinary clothes and can't even talk. I told him that I have an old classmate in this school, and I want her to meet me, so please take care of it and find a slightly better position.
I didn't ask miss negative energy if she would like to come to my activity before, but I called her with great doubts and worries, for fear that she would cook for me. You know you're sitting on it, I'm sitting on it, and you call me a disgrace? Guns and bullets like that killed me alive.
Unexpectedly, she readily agreed.
When I sat on the stage and gave a passionate speech, I saw her at a glance. She is sitting in the fifth seat from the left in the third row in the middle. I still remember the way she looked at me with a crooked head and a straight face today. She wore a small floral coat that day, but her big breasts still couldn't be covered.
Later, after the activity, I entrusted the reception boy to leave a negative energy lady to meet us backstage. When she came in, I felt that she looked a little thinner and her hair seemed to be longer, but there were still dark clouds on her head and her eyebrows were still so anxious. Yes, she is still the negative energy lady.
I started happily:? How are you doing recently
? Not so good. I tell you, our professor is very annoying. He failed a course he gave me last year. It seems that he is not going to fail me again this year. He must be giving me a hard time. I'm worried sick. By the way, I heard that Li Fang in our class found a Gao Fushuai? And that sister Wang Xiaotao with acne all over her face, do you remember? It is enough that she won such a national prize, and will soon be sent to the United States for a semester of exchange. There is also Huang Mao, who has been close to me since childhood, and is now the president of the student union of the University for Nationalities. ?
I pulled my shirt, and I had a bad feeling and said, huh? I don't know any of this. How do you know so much about the present situation of our classmates? Did you go to the last party? That will be a day! They can't laugh at me when I leave. I went to a bad school and got along badly, so I won't let them laugh at me. ? I bowed my head and said nothing.
? Unless one day I'm crazy. ? She bit off a thread hanging outside the cuff with her teeth, and then added:? Do you think I have lost weight recently? I am really bored to death. I can't lose weight at all! I will die if I eat so little and get so fat every day. ?
Soon, Miss Negative Energy polished my patience while chatting with her. Everything made her extremely uneasy, and every topic aroused her anger. Later, in her endless complaints, I succeeded in diverting my attention, stirring my cold coffee and watching her mouth open and close, but her voice was getting farther and farther away from me.
Fortunately, the sister of the publishing house came to urge me to go, which was a sigh of relief. We took a photo and said goodbye in a hurry. She left first. I saw her carrying a small bag, holding a small floral coat in her left hand and pattering away in high heels.
She didn't send the photo to her circle of friends at last, so I made her frown and say? Why is your face so big that you can't get rid of acne? Then delete it.
Disappeared with the complaints and complaints of negative energy ladies who are common in friends circle. She rarely gets into the mood now, only occasionally revealing that the course of modern literature is really interesting, or that the blueberry yogurt and waffles she ate today can cure the whole rainy day.
It turned out that Miss Negative Energy fell in love with the student union boys who accepted our lecture.
? He is not tall, his figure is not good, and his hair is flat, which is far from my boyfriend with long hair and tall hair. The conditions at home are average, one year younger than me. Going out on a date is like taking care of children. It's not interesting at all. There are too many shortcomings for me to count at the moment, but he loves me very much. This is an advantage, but it is enough. ?
Mr short loves her very much. Every time I go out with Miss Negative Energy, she complains that her boyfriend comes too late, bringing too much milk tea ice and too few pearls. He always smiles and nods, and wipes the milk tea foam off her mouth with a tissue. Everyone was annoyed by her complaints, but only he knew that she was given too little sense of security.
Miss negative energy can only be called as equal to the former school grass; And this short gentleman is the other half of her missing life.
Mr. Short said that you can let Miss Negative Energy complain about him, others and other things, but you just can't complain about yourself. Those who say that you are an unwanted fat man or that you have poor grades and poor health and shouldn't fall in love will disappear. When he held her, she cried until her body trembled. She never thought that someone would love her so much.
Braving the heavy rain and getting soaked to buy her favorite matcha ice cream; Clumsy brown sugar water was sent to the downstairs of her dormitory in the strange eyes of others; Seriously take her to see the sea and fulfill her wish to see the sea that she inadvertently wrote on the Weibo; A paper letter every week represents the belief of love long-distance running.
She never thought that someone would love her so much.
Actually, it's just that she didn't consider it.
Why do people hate inferiority, all unhappiness belongs to themselves, but happiness belongs to others? In the final analysis, they are all made by themselves. If they are very young, they are melodramatic. If they are big, they will hurt themselves. Success will only educate us. One of the conditions for success is hard work, and the other is persistence, so whoever fails is because he doesn't work hard or persist. But success often ignores what it should tell us: success belongs to a few people, while most people's lives still belong to the ordinary life of daily necessities. However, ordinary days don't mean ordinary. Those love and contentment are as good as flying between big cities day and night.
What do you do? What do you spell? Gao Fushuai. Believe me, neither the ugly duckling nor the white swan belongs to you. There will always be a good person willing to abandon the colorful world and stay with you, and there will always be a simple and rude care and love to make you happy.
After all, learning to accept yourself can make you invincible.
Later, Miss Negative Energy's mood diary was no longer rainy and rainy, nor was it the person who threatened to slap her mouth with another bite of matcha cake.
In the circle of friends, she began to send some photos of the tourist attractions and delicious food she had been to, as well as two silly and funny smiling faces, and accompanied the little prince and the little princess with what they had visited in which fairy town.
Some time ago, she sent a photo with her boyfriend at the seaside. In the photo, she wore a pink bikini and smiled mercilessly at the camera. She is still full in the crowd, but it makes people feel the impulse of love.
Teach you how to avoid pitfalls, save money, and play more efficiently