After a relationship ends and two people go their separate ways to live their own lives, will you feel a sudden sudden change in your heart when you hear the song that breaks into your heart while walking on the street? At night, I huddled up in bed alone, my body twitching slightly and shedding tears. I woke up the next day, with red and swollen eyes and a lifeless face, desperately living the days of a broken love. I repeated it every day, and there was a consciousness in my heart. I want to stop myself from doing this, but I still can't control my emotional state and live negatively.

Those sweet words and beautiful memories when we first got together are still completely preserved in your mind. The beautiful scenes in your mind keep reappearing, making you turn over and over again every night. Insomnia.

How about we start over? Case description:

Case student: Xiaobai

Difficulty index: ★★★☆☆

Recovery time: 28 days

Me It’s Xiaobai. He’s 26 years old this year. He provides financial support to my boyfriend’s self-employment. My boyfriend is called Xiaohei, who is two years older than me. He started his own business at the age of 28. We were introduced to each other by our father, and Xiaohei chased me. It took me more than a month to agree to Xiao Hei. We were inseparable during the first year of being with Xiao Hei.

In the second year, Xiaohei quarreled with me more and more frequently. He was not as tolerant and caring as he was when we were together. He had endless quarrels every day just because I said little things. He always quarreled with me, and he had to say something back when I said something to him.

He stopped coaxing me after the quarrel. He came home late every night this week and told me that he was working overtime this week. I didn’t believe it. I didn’t know if he liked someone else. He's a girl, and his attitude towards me now makes me feel like I'm dispensable. He won't let me check his phone now. He always looks at me when he touches his phone. There must be something he's hiding from me, and he doesn't want me to. Know.

One day I quietly looked through his cell phone while he was taking a shower, but nothing came out. When he came out of the shower, he happened to see me looking through his chat history with others behind his back. He rushed He came over and snatched his cell phone from my hand and yelled at me. Then Xiao Hei and I had a fight. So far, Xiao Hei has not taken the initiative to talk to me. There is no communication between the two of us. He didn't reply to my messages, it was like he disappeared from the world. I was very painful during this period, and now I want to save this relationship. Problem analysis:

Main instructor: Zyla

1. Distrust and suspicion of the target, leading to awkward relationships, and the target is unwilling to take the initiative to communicate

Students report that they do a good job in taking care of men, but in terms of communication and behavior, students will have an ambition mentality, that is, if the target makes the student uncomfortable, then the student will make the target uncomfortable in the same way.

Relationship management is a bit naive. Another big problem is that students will look through each other's mobile phones and ask about their whereabouts. They are afraid that the other person will cheat on them and lack a sense of security.

Third, in terms of communication mode, everyone expresses their emotions rather than their feelings, and there is no skillful quarrel. There is no space and time for the man, and the other party cannot breathe.

Another reason is that the two started their own business together, and the student did the operation and provided most of the funds. The two did not separate their work and relationship, and did not give each other their own space, leading to suspicion. The atmosphere between the two chatting was very awkward, and the target stopped taking the initiative to talk about his own affairs, forming a vicious circle. Detailed explanation of recovery:

Based on the analysis of the emotional history of Xiaobai and Xiaohei, the instructor confirmed that they had truly broken up, but the two actually still had a foundation for their relationship. The instructor formulated a detailed recovery plan, and Xiaobai also expressed his willingness to cooperate and correct his previous mistakes.

1. Warming up the relationship:

The first thing to learn is trust. Trust is the foundation of a relationship. Trust will also give men great confidence and energy. When facing the suspicion of the target, When acting, you can have doubts, but do not regard this speculation as fact. The current situation is that two people do not believe each other, so you need to take the first step to guide the other party. Now, don’t deliberately ask about the other person’s whereabouts and arrangements, don’t take the initiative to check the other person’s mobile phone, and take the initiative to report your own whereabouts and arrangements. Men need to be trained, but first they need to bring him back to their side, and then train him.

2. Establish a good communication situation:

In terms of communication mode, learn non-violent communication and stress-reducing conversations, and rebuild the communication mode: In non-violent communication, first express the impact of the communication incident on yourself. Secondly, what are your needs in this communication, and then give the other party a chance to express themselves, and finally compromise with each other. If you want to shorten the distance between the two parties, then you need another opportunity, which is to make the target and the students fall in love. Stress reduction conversation: First give the other person a chance to speak and take turns.

Secondly, make suggestions during the conversation and learn to listen. Then express your interest in the topic and understand his position. Think from the other party's perspective and then express a consistent external attitude.

Finally, express your affirmation and admiration for him. The final admiration and affirmation are indispensable, because men need to be affirmed and worshiped to satisfy their self-esteem.

2. Improve the external image:

In appearance, all you need to do is be beautiful, whether it is a royal sister or a lolita, and men have no resistance to beautiful women and will Make him interested in learning more about you. Match makeup and clothes, choose what suits your style, and we can evaluate your outfit.

3. Learn to increase your own humor cells:

High emotional intelligence, relationships with high emotional intelligence will often last longer, such as humor, conflict resolution, how to speak, etc. need to be improved How fun it is to learn and strengthen yourself. Beautiful skins are all the same, but interesting souls are unique. You can post a funny joke to the group every day, watch more talk shows and variety shows such as Qi Pa Shuo and Tucao Conference, and learn how others talk interestingly. Master the latest jokes to increase the sense of topic. Watch more news and current affairs to increase conversation topics.

Some principles to remember: Think through your head before you speak. Don't be impulsive when doing things, think clearly before doing it, and think clearly about the purpose of doing it and whether it can achieve the goal. Control your emotions, and don't let things go wrong. It's all negative energy. Learn to smile, talk and laugh naturally and naturally. Don't talk about all the joys, sorrows and joys, as it will appear to have no depth. Don’t nag when chatting, listen more and talk less.

4. Show yourself:

The purpose of building a circle of friends is to have your own life and to intuitively show your changes. The themes are cooking, party food, fitness, flower arranging, and reading to reflect women's gentle and considerate circle of friends. Have your own life, and give each other space and time. In an intimate relationship, men and women are not intimate. They are independent individuals with their own little secrets. While building a circle of friends, read books and improve your emotional cognition. , understand men’s behavior patterns and understand men’s needs. This runs through the entire relationship warming process and requires you to constantly improve yourself. Books: "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus", "Nonviolent Communication" and "The Way of Speaking".

Movies: Inside Out, Heartbeat, The Law of Attraction. After reading it, submit your own reflections and gains and submit it to the group in the form of word. You need to build a circle of friends, two to three times a week, and the content is to show your life and values. Starting today, you are not allowed to operate without permission, otherwise we will suspend classes or provide after-sales service as appropriate. Satisfaction = result - expectation, expectation is the minuend, then expectation and satisfaction are inversely proportional. If expectations are low and positioning is accurate, then satisfaction will be the highest and you will have more confidence.