The teacher asked Xiaoming to make a sentence with "eat a catty".

Xiao Ming said: I was walking on the road and saw a pile of cow dung. I was shocked (a kilo).

The teacher praised: "Massive, massive ..."

2. There is only one channel.

The boss of the dormitory has a new girlfriend, and her girlfriend gave him a new walkman. The boss looked at the instructions and said to himself while fiddling with them, "Anywhere is fine, but there is only one track!" " The third child watched martial arts in the upper bunk and asked, "Isn't one enough? "The boss said," I want to have an extra sound channel, which can be connected to the computer. "

3. Party A pays 4600 yuan.

At the beginning of the new semester, several students from my dormitory and I went to the department to pay tuition. A notice was posted at the door of the department office: this year, the unified fee will be 4,600 yuan at a time, and no accommodation fee will be charged.

4. How much does it cost to sleep (including jiaozi)?

One day, a foreign friend and I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi, and a beautiful waitress came to ask.

Friends always miss any chance to practice Chinese and say "Sleep (jiaozi)". how much is it?

The young lady was embarrassed and angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much it was.

Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited another young lady. Is there a "program"

The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what kind of program do you want?"

"It's the yellow one ..."

5. Can you tell me something about Jing Yue?

I took "China Ancient Literature". In my first class, the teacher talked about Confucianism, main figures and masterpieces, including "Four Books" and "Five Classics". A few minutes before class, the teacher asked the students to ask questions freely. A girl in the front row stood up and asked, "I saw Jing Yue mentioned in some books. Can you tell me what happened to Jing Yue? " . There was a burst of laughter in the classroom.

6. Today is the big day for two students.

When I joined the league at school, it was just me and another girl. When our League branch secretary presided over the meeting, he said without hesitation, "Today is a big day for two students …" The rest of the students laughed their heads off.

7. How much is it to sleep (in jiaozi) every night (bowl)?

Lao Dong is from Henan. He came to the south for breakfast. As soon as I entered the door, I asked, "Miss, how much is it to sleep (bowl) in jiaozi for one night?"

The waiter said unhappily, "No, only steamed bread."

Old Dong said, "Oh, just touch the bun."

The waiter was furious and scolded: "rogue!" " "

Lao Dong was extremely surprised: "Six hairs? Too cheap! "

Please believe me if you can. Let me see how long you are.

Once, two girls came to our dormitory to play with tractors. A group of two girls, a group of five elder brothers and me. Girls always play stinky, but they are lucky. They won a few hands and began to laugh. Finally, once it was the fifth person's turn to sit in the village. They showed the hearts as their owners, and I turned them into squares. At this time, I saw the fifth strike table and said excitedly, "I finally got a pair!" " Let's drag them out first, and then take your time! "At this moment, a girl persistently said," If you have the ability, you can trust it! "! I want to see how long you are! "

8.yunnan

Two Yunnan people went to Beijing to play. They heard that Beijing roast duck is very famous and decided to eat it. As soon as they sat down, one of them said to the waiter, "Go and dump those two roast ducks.

Dump! "After waiting for a while, they saw the waiter waving a roast duck in front of them and left. One of them couldn't wait, so he called the waiter and asked.

Why not serve them roast duck? The waiter said, "Didn't you ask me to bring a roast duck?"

Note: ("Shuai Shuai" means "eat" in Yunnan dialect)

9.henan province

Lao Dong, a native of Henan, came to the south for breakfast. As soon as he entered the door, he asked, "Miss, how much is it to sleep (bowl) in jiaozi for one night?" The waiter said unhappily, "No, only.

Steamed bread. "Old Dong said," Oh, just touch it. " The waiter was very angry and scolded: "rogue!" " Lao Dong was extremely surprised: "Six hairs? It's too cheap! "

Sichuan 10

A soldier was captured, and the officer promised to grant him three wishes before killing him.

The soldier said I want to have a word with my horse. The enemy agreed.

The next day, the horse came back and brought back a beautiful woman. Soldiers spend the night with women.

The police officer said there were two more wishes. The soldier said I want to have a word with my horse. The enemy agreed.

The next day, the horse came back and brought back a beautiful woman. The soldier spent another night with the beautiful woman.

The officer said you had one last wish. The soldier still said I want to have a word with my horse.

The officer was very surprised and went to the stable to eavesdrop. When he saw the soldier grabbing the horse's ear, he shouted, "I told you to take a woman (brigade), not a woman!" "

Guangxi 1 1

Some people in Guangxi speak Mandarin with inaccurate pronunciation and often with obvious local accent! People usually read it like this: empty becomes a public place, mouth becomes a dog, and wind becomes crazy, which leads to the following situations.

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