Actually, I haven't put it down yet, but I just can't bear to bother again.

Picture | Xiaorui

Text | Su Wan Carp

-1-

My friend asked me about you and said that she had seen you in the classroom before. She said that when she saw us in the classroom, I was making a scene, and you were laughing. After a while, while I was watching, I was sleeping, and you were doing your homework. When you were comfortable, you pulled your arm over and rubbed it.

after listening to her, I'm a little sorry. I missed it because I was asleep, so I didn't see my face in your eyes.

she asked us why we broke up, after all, it was so good.

Actually, I also want to know why we broke up. After all, we were so good at that time that we wanted to have you in the future.

-2-

I have been clamoring for losing weight for a while, and I started to skip meals or just eat a little food in anger. You always take me to eat delicious food under various excuses, but you always give me everything I like in my bowl when I'm not looking, and you buy me a box of fruit after dinner every day.

I yelled at you angrily, don't take me to eat casually, or I will get fat one day. You just smiled and said: Girls just want to be fat, and it is better to be a ball, so that you can take it home more conveniently.

I spit out your fallacies, and I couldn't get up from squatting on the ground with a stomachache, but you held me in your arms and said something in my ear: I really, really like you.

In my impression, you didn't touch me too much, but this time, my pounding heart told me that I really like you.

You say that you are dumb, and you won't be as good at sweet talk as other boys, but you make me laugh every time.

I have a bad temper, and when I get angry, my parents even deny me. I still remember one time, when you were sitting on the bed playing games and I was watching a movie, I suddenly asked an unimportant question. I saw that you didn't respond or answer, so I kicked you. As a result, you fell to the ground because you were not very stable. I looked at you lying on the ground without saying a word, thinking that you were in trouble but still didn't change your face.

after waiting for a long time, you stared at me for a long time, without a smile or a word, just quietly watching.

To tell you the truth, I'm afraid of you without saying a word, but you got up and hugged me from behind when you were just about to run away.

"I'm sorry, I will listen to you carefully next time, and I won't make you angry again."

I've never seen you so wronged, but I'm the one who is obviously wrong, and you're the one who apologizes.

-3-

Because of a cold, you avoided seeing me, saying that you were afraid of infecting me. You said that your cold was just a little more runny nose and tears, but mine was different. Once you caught a cold, you would have a persistent high fever, so you would rather feel a little worse than let me take the risk.

actually, I'm not so delicate. I'm used to being in the limelight, but when I came to you, I was spoiled as a treasure in my hand.

I like to eat mala Tang outside the school, but you like to eat scones and rolled noodles at the back door of the school. I complain that a big boy can eat spicy food better than a girl, but you say you want to accompany me to eat more spicy food in the future.

I like to sleep in on Saturday and Sunday, and sometimes I forget to eat, but you always take pains to bring delicious food to the bottom of the dormitory and ask me to get it, or you take me to pick up my messy hair while complaining, but my eyes are all serious. After finishing it, you even pulled me, sipped on my face and said,

My pig head, yes.

After that, I was alone there, looking at you in front of me. At that moment, I suddenly felt sleepy.

You like to run in the stadium. You said that it was the place where you first met me. Every time after the evening self-study, I would sit on the playground and wait for you. There was always a bottle of your favorite rock candy Sydney in my bag.

At school, as long as it was summer, there were many small toads near the lake at night, and every time I saw them, I was the one who hung motionless on you. After a long time, you got used to it. Whenever you passed there, you would consciously bend down and carry me through those "disaster areas".

I like the feeling that you are carrying me behind your back, listening to the sound of your heartbeat, feeling the temperature coming from you, and touching your red ears again and again.

You like hamsters, and you have one in the house. I watched you feed it, so attentive and cute. I watched you squat on the ground pretending to be angry and let you take care of me like it, but you just smiled, then put a strawberry in my mouth and said, You are more precious than it.

I envy other people's boyfriends who can show their love and bask in their own space in a different way, but you have never basked in my face.

One day, I stumbled across a separate photo album in your space, full of my photos. The remark is: Love of my life, the password is my birthday.

When you read my mind, you smiled and said to me:

Love is between us, but loving you is only my own business. I know very well whether I love you or not. Why do I have to do something formal? Don't imitate other people's ways to define our love, okay? I don't want our love to be praised or even joked by others. I just want to be simple. Do I love you or not? You can feel it.

I may be possessed by something to believe the definition of the public and ignore my intuition.

you love me, I always know.

-4-

When did all this change?

I really don't know, we are so good.

We started quarreling over an unimportant trivial matter, which led to the cold war. You also called me and sent me a message telling me to stop it. I should come back when I had had enough trouble, but I still ignored it.

Until one day, you said,

Wan Wan, I'm really tired. I used to think that no matter what happened, I could tolerate you, spoil you and accompany you, but I don't know what happened to us recently. You started to become unlike you, and I don't know how to keep you. I feel that I'm really going to lose you. We are obviously so good that we will be good in my future. I'm really not sure. I don't understand you at first. I don't understand your sudden sadness and sudden emotional loss of control. Time and time again, I waited, but you still ignored me. To be honest, I'm tired. Love is a matter of two people, but I can't see you now. What do you want me to do? You tell me, what should I do?

I looked at the message you sent, and I was stunned for a long time. Yes, it seems that all this time I was really unreasonable. I was always angry with you, and I didn't care about you, so that we finally got farther and farther away from each other.

I know that you love me. I used to, and I still do. It's just that this love was destroyed by my willfulness in the end.

"then let go! I don't want you to be so tired, and I should try to change myself. "

I looked at the message sent out and never waited for your message. You didn't respond to the breakup from beginning to end, just like my unilateral decision, and you knew nothing.

One night a year later, a strange call came through. After I connected, I didn't hear the other person's voice for a long time. I knew it was you, but I didn't dare to speak first. I was afraid that once I heard your voice, I would tell you all my thoughts of the year uncontrollably. Reason outweighed desire, but I didn't speak after all.

This lasted for a long time. After a while, another voice sounded:

He said he missed you, so he wanted to hear your voice, even if it was just "Hello!" He will be satisfied. Unfortunately, he was already drunk as soon as you got on the phone.

I can see that he still loves you, but how can you be so cruel? You haven't contacted for a whole year, and then you haven't heard from him. Su Wan carp, you are so selfish.

I listened to what the other girl said, and I didn't refute or speak. I knew that I missed him after all, and I lost him completely in the end, not because I didn't love him, but because I loved him too much.

-5-

Anhui, you see, Zhang Hao Yugang published a circle of friends, and my thoughts were disturbed by a scream from my friend. I walked over unhurriedly. It's been two years since we parted, and it was so calm when I heard your name for the first time.

You said:

I used to know all your likes, but

I couldn't give you all mine.

Now I miss all your likes, and

I can only give my likes like yours.

The picture is a wedding photo. You are still handsome and smiling happily, with sharp tiger teeth and two small dimples on both sides. The bride is also beautiful, but she is really, really like me you just met.

I smiled, and then I sent a circle of friends, with the picture you just sent:

You have never missed all my likes,

I have given you everything you can,

Now all the likes you have,

You should have got them,

Now,

You just need to love the present.

I have missed it for so long that I can't make up for it. Now I am satisfied to see you happy.

thank you for the time you have been here and gave me a warmth that no one can match.

I wish you happiness and I wish you happiness!

End

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