credit:123RF

mcsicky (female) UK

Today, I woke up feeling nauseous. On the bus to work, I threw up in a plastic cup. I still have to take a bus for half an hour, with a full cup of hot vomit in my hand. FML

Fuchhousearest (male)

Today, I was sitting alone in a bar, and a lady refused to sit next to me with her boyfriend because "I looked at her strangely." I just gave her a friendly smile. FML

credit: Magic painter 63

Excalibur (female) France

Today, I organized a family gathering. I bought a gift for my nephew, hid it in my room, and then let my nephew look for it everywhere. Everyone enjoyed it. After a while, my nephew suddenly ran to us and shouted, "I found my aunt's big sword!" " He went to look through my bedside table, holding my vibrator in his hand. FML

inappropes reply: Ho ho. Is it that big? No wonder some men can't meet their size. Ha ha.

FlamedOut (female)

Today, I found out that my Tinder date is the roommate and best friend of my date who died last week. He and my old high school boyfriend are also good friends. Is there any hope for this date? FML

Bake Bake (female)

Today, I have a holiday. I am a full-time baker, and I haven't had a good rest for weeks. My father asked me to make him a cake, but I was so tired that I said I didn't want to make it today. Obviously, it's not up to me to make a cake or not. FML

You' vehadtwoweekstotellme (female) Australia

Today, on the last day of school holiday, one hour before going to bed, my children told me that the school required to bring cultural shirts. They don't understand why I am so broken. FML

aargh (female)

Today, I have an appointment for coffee. My date blew her nose with discarded paper towels. Although she said she had given up smoking, she still smoked half a pack of cigarettes, chewed tobacco and invited a friend to our date at random. His friend spit out the tobacco and poured some cough water into his coffee. I never want to see this man again. FML

FMyCountry (male)

Today, in a children's football match, the referee ruled that a goal was invalid. The father of the child who scored the goal was not convinced, which eventually led to a big fight among all the parents of the children. FML

ldemosthenous (male)

Today is my birthday. My friends don't believe it because they "didn't get a Facebook reminder." FML