The ultimate family funny lines

Gongpian

1 What a beautiful jinx.

2. "Moxibustion Lai ... hasn't come for a long time. What's the matter with you? It's very hard. Haha! !

It's beautiful on a man named Qiu Hua. ......

Let's get a room, too.

5. Grandpa: Oh, Brother Xiong, are you going through menopause?

Brother Bear: Oh, Dad, I still have my period.

Grandpa: Your period? Where is your period?

Northern Song socks (I am not happy,)

Whoa, whoa, Gong Li (I'll tell you)

Blogging [reading the fourth sound] (crazy bitch)

Grandpa: am I so good ... have I ever been so handsome!

When I practiced in summer, Brother Hou said that I would not practice. Grandpa: shameless? Who is shameless? !

Grandpa: Clams ~ ~ ~

Aunt: I mean ..

Grandpa: I can hear you ~ ~

Aunt: Clams ~ ~ ~

Yu Xia: Grandpa, you still don't think it's noisy upstairs, do you? Stop knocking at the door.

Grandpa: You have to fight with anyone, who is afraid of who ~

Summer: Grandpa, if you don't promise soon, the photographer and director will be moved to their knees soon.

Grandpa: Then how do you support the photographer? We are acting now. What are you doing here? Well, don't think I'll let him do this.

I will change my name to shameless Xia Liu in the future.

Bring me my monk postscript.

Summer: Grandpa, you take Xia Mei's pot cover.

Grandpa: Even this kind of thing is shameful now.

Grandpa: Did you just say that beautiful women are like clouds ~ ~ ~

Moxibustion: = _ = Is a master like a cloud. . .

I have amnesia. i forgot ...

When grandpa said that Han was going to marry Xia, he suddenly said, "Just sausages, not two tribute pills."

Grandfather asked Xia Han, "Will you marry Sharon?"

Grandpa watched Ye die and sang, "I was angry at the sight of you ~ ~ ~"

Hey, my mother, it has been thousands of years since the disaster.

Our family is in Charlotte ~ ~

The youngest is me, which is me.

Brother Xiong tore off Xia Longyin for the first time. Grandpa came out of the cupboard and said:

"Yes, I did. Your two front lampshades (as they say) are hanging everywhere .. Do you need that many?

Brother Xiong: "Because we have to match clothes ~ ~ ~"

I won't even take back the songs that wash the soul and the songs that look for the soul.

Isn't that fake in front?

It's been broadcast for more than twenty episodes.

Go on like this.

The audience will think that we are deceiving him.

They will be angry.

It's nice to know that you are very young. ....

The audience likes me.

You keep coming for the camera. I hate it.

Scissors (from moxibustion): Kaonashi, the military of Yehnala family.

Grandpa: Kaonashi!

Scissors: It is strange that he only brought two attendants.

Grandpa: Two waiters!

Scissors: Kaonashi is a literary genius, not a military commander.

Grandpa (dancing): Not a military commander, but a literary talent!

Brother Bear: Dad, you are a parrot.

Brother Xiong: It's strange that the Yehenala family should send a faceless strategist. This is too humiliating for us.

Grandpa (continue): What a pity!

(The audience looked at Grandpa speechless ...)

Grandpa: 1 19 Feed the ambulance!

Brother Bear: Are you sick? Are you going to faint?

Grandpa: No, I still have many lines to say.

Grandpa: Hello 1 19 Oh, come on.

Grandpa: Where is what? At my house, of course.

..... the phone hung up. ..

Brother Xiong seems to have said something. ..

Grandpa answered the phone and looked at the time: hello 1 19, there are two people now, where are they? At my house, of course! (The phone hangs up again)

I also found a goblin who ran away from home.

Minnan dialect: "talk ~ talk ~ no chance!" "

Time, luck and life are blessings, not disasters, but disasters. Cause and effect never bother me. what can I do? What time? Ah ~ ~ ~ ~ Grandpa: ... It's a ghost ... (... haha. )

Xia Mei also asked, Grandpa, what the hell is that? ..

Think with your brain. No brain uses cerebellum, and no cerebellum uses medulla oblongata. Don't bother yourself.

Grandpa: "Don't flirt there. You think I don't know what you're thinking?

I can't stand Warrior Lanling written by Xia Mei. Even you love this ant now.

Just like this, Grandpa came to the underworld and found a man with three heads, six arms, blue face and fangs as your pawn. "

Ren: "Grandpa, don't do this."

Grandpa: "Flash"

. . . . . . . . .

Ren Chenwen: "Grandpa, did I mention that she wants to know you?"

Ah, you are pregnant again. I am going to be a grandfather again. The child's father is the child's grandfather.

I'm cursing .. Why are you sitting so comfortable?

Leader, what's the big and small, let you come here with great fanfare, but also let us lose sight.

Brother Xiong wants to give his strength to Xia subdue the ghost dragons.

Grandpa said that if you give him strength, you will die, and you may gain the power of the big ghost dragon, so you should give yourself strength.

Give it to him, and then Brother Bear cries there.

Grandpa suddenly lost his memory and said, why are you crying? What are you doing? I'm not dead.

I am so angry. I'm going to the emergency room. This is the only place where there is spring. I heard that two Japanese nurses have just arrived.

A Xian: It's too cheap. Cut me as soon as you see it. The sword is deadly. Who can stand so many swords? I'm not talking about it. If I hadn't been too stingy, I think I would have said goodbye to you long ago.

Grandpa: It's called gradual coagulation. If you sprinkle it on the sword wound of a very cheap man who was cut by a sword, his blood will gradually be kept, otherwise he will gradually die.

~ ~ ~ ~ Then Dr. Wing Neng came over and said something, I forgot-

Grandpa: Not only did he look mean before he died, but he will look even meaner after he died. Throw him on the floor so as not to dirty the sofa.

A Xian: Grandpa, help me prepare mung bean powder and urine for the boy, so that I can get better faster, but don't do anything! Must be a real virgin!

Grandpa: A chord is very cheap! Bitch has her own dirty tricks. What he said should be true.

May: Grandpa! What time is it now? Where did you get a virgin?

Y: Yes! Unlike me!

Grandpa: Sorry, I am!

Y: That. . . (referring to Brother Xiong)

Bear: Dad!

Grandpa: Just kidding ~

Grandpa: What are you afraid of? Xia Liu and I are not afraid of anything! Let's go . . There are a lot of bubbles. Look (holding the bottle of urine) ~ If it is sweet, it means I have diabetes.

They don't know, grandpa, I'm afraid you really have to pee!

May: Grandpa! Why do you pee less than little brother? What a small bottle!

Grandpa: The old man's bladder was weak, and his urine split and dripped on his shoes, leaking half.

Grandpa, where do you want to spend your holiday?

Grandpa: I want to see your aunt ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Three, eight, three, eight, you, eight, me, eight.

Y: It's after one o'clock. I have to change first. I'm going to school.

Bear: Oh.

May: Wow (watching grandpa open his "room")

Bear: Dad, which floor are you going to?

Grandpa: It's the third floor of the basement!

God: no, I still don't feel at ease, mom. Please take it to the ancient tomb hospital because it is cold. I'll see who did it.

Bear: If you ask me to bring cold, I'll bring cold. Mom, I'm not your courier!

Grandpa: Brother Xiong, is it useful to have so many babies? Nobody is yours.

Grandpa: Hey, this child is so affectionate in summer. It must have inherited my sentimental seed.

Dead man: Huh?

Grandpa: What are you looking at? Big eyes, will they be bigger than me?

Dead man: no, no, my eyes are so small ~ I'm sorry

Grandpa said, "Dead man, what do you drink?" Why didn't I?

The deceased said, I'll buy you Boba milk tea.

Grandpa said: It's the big one at the corner of the alley. ..

He said, "We, the Charles family, ..

Grandpa: I said that if you understand, you can say that you understand, you can say that you don't understand, and you can pretend that you understand.

Grandpa: Hurry up, I'm going to rush over and kill him. It's up to you to die ... it's up to me to die ... Ah, I'm dead ... I'm a temperamental old man. .......

Grandpa: Yes, you are just too nervous. In fact, looking at faces in summer is not short-lived, and lucky people have their own natural characteristics. (When the deceased comes, grandpa points to the deceased) If you look at this face, you'd better not look at it, the worse it gets ... Really, I'm going out again (to match the voice, go up to the deceased and say) Alas (and then leave). ..

Grandpa: (when looking for it, oh, hey, hey, oh)

I remember, please, (running to the cameraman) why are you again? Why did you come to our house again? (The photographer is puzzled: the director called me) Does anyone have such a big mobile phone pendant? (Grandpa says to Brother Xiong, Xiaomei and Yu Xia) Weiou!

Grandpa: Brother Xiong, where is Zhenzi?

Policeman: I see. You won't leave me, will you? I know a lot of your secrets, and you will kill me.

Brother Bear: No, how is that possible? We ... Dad, there is no Zhen Zi. Please help me, hurry up!

Grandpa: What help?

Yu Xia: Rewind and delete!

Grandpa: Oh … (pointing to Brother Bear) Iris …

Brother Bear: Not me, Dad!

Policeman: Don't ... Don't mess around.

Grandpa: Iris … I left it behind.

Brother Xiong: Outside the iris!

Erase winding → external aperture → rewind to delete memory.

Grandpa: Which guest? Sit inside!

Brother Bear: Xia Mei, come here! (Grandpa: Yes! )

Xia Mei: Who are you? !

Yu Xia: Grandpa!

Brother Bear: Dad, how can you tear down Yu Xia? !

Grandpa: When did he go?

Grandpa explained: This enchanted ring will glow, which means that a ring without enchantment will not glow ~ ~ ~ Do you understand? ~~~''

Make a pot of tea for the elderly first. During the ten minutes of making tea, I'm going to do an elderly exercise, and then jump into Swan Lake first. "Then XiuHeHan came back.

Grandpa said, "I am also disturbed by exercise." You two, fall in love. "

Coldly said: What about summer?

Grandpa said, "Plus summer, love triangle",

Meimei: I'm back, Han and Xiu. Why are you two together? "

Grandpa said: "And you, the four-corner love, plus a soldier Lan Ling and the five-corner love, all have to negotiate outside and kill each other. Don't let me see."

Han: "You came back, didn't you wait until summer?"

Meimei: "My little brother left early. You two wait here. I'm going up. "

Hugh: Han, wait here while I go out and look for it.

Then he left, and Han watched him go out and turned his face to grandpa.

Grandpa: There are only two of us in the room, and we are in a relationship.

Grandpa: What? ! You call me dirty? ! .

Grandpa: You are the dirty one! ! .

Grandpa: No. I'm Xia Liu. ......

Fork people 10 looked at grandpa in amazement. .....

What is the most terrible thing in the world .. Grandpa: My wife ~ ~ ~

Grandpa: "long time no see, that dead man ... alas ~ I'm so bored without him ~ ~ I really miss him."

Bear: "Dad, just let me know if you want to drink ~"

Grandpa: "I think, this time, the old monster of Yehnala's family really talked about the solution."

Bear: "What?"

Grandpa: "There are really magnets in the underground world ... (omitted in the middle) Don't underestimate it. This stone was once used by the goddess to mend the sky. It has infinite mysterious power. The energy of the whole universe is the source and can be supplied continuously, just like solar energy. "

Bear: "Dad, when did you become so learned?" I don't understand physics and chemistry. "

Grandpa: "If you don't understand, learn more." There is a saying that after listening to Xia Liu, Bao Junsheng will study for ten years. "

..... warrior LanLing after a pile of questions. ..........

Grandpa: "Why should I tell you? Who knows if you are a spy? You are a waiter now, pour the wine. "

Jason Scar asked, "Do you know who I am?" Grandpa said, "You are so close to me, do you want to fight with me?" Jason Ska "heard clearly this way", and then grandpa pushed him away and said, "Come to my house and want to tease me."

Grandpa: get out of the way for the shrimp ... why didn't the leader inform me earlier so that I could have time to get a haircut, shave, take a shower and change my dress?

Summer said: Can you stop talking so intimately?

Grandpa said: Jason Scar taught me so that I could hear more clearly.

A minute later

Grandpa: I have become cross-eyed.

Summer: I'm already cross-eyed

crack me up

Amitabha Ala 'amen

Jesus Christ, Mary.

Heaven and earth worship the prince three times.

Please worship God and God.

Everyone wishes the warrior Lan Ling.

Grandpa was crushed by the dead and said, "Dead man! Confucius said: men and women can't distinguish between giving and receiving! "

Grandpa: "I can't believe I'm from Xia Lan? I have never done anything bad in my life. Why should I repay my daughter and grandson now? (Seeing the dead) I know, it's all for you. I just hugged you tightly! I even fucked you to protect you. (coquetry) That's disgusting. Oh, I don't want it, I hate it! ..."

47 episodes

Feng ghost appeared.

Grandfather said, "I hope my youngest son can come." Then he turned to Feng ghost and said, "If I can't cure your illness, I will take your surname." After putting up Feng ghost's dragon seal, he said to the leader, "He is my grandson, and we seem to have the same surname ..."

When the leader came, grandpa said, "Long live the leader, long live the leader, and he has to kneel and kowtow, which makes him confused about what to do in summer."

The leader of the League said at Xia's house, "Is Master Lan Ling there?"

The deceased said, "No one in our family wears a helmet on their shoulders."

The bear glared at him and said, "That's not a helmet! It's a knocker! "

You don't even know that ABC's dog bites a pig, and you have to stare at him to do his homework. You lied to me, Ash! (Taiwanese)

Grandfather danced with the martyr: "Peas grind to and fro, Peas grind to and fro, Magic Warrior ..."

Grandpa finished the phone call and said to Xia, "Why are you there than Archie?" ? How can I express my love when I am so cool? "

After listening to grandpa, Xia said, "Grandpa, I know you have to."

Grandpa stared at him and said, "You mean I don't have love?"

Grandpa sent them to save Bing Xin, picked up the phone: I'm hungry, I'm hungry, my father is starving, then paused, and then said: Oh, this is the pizza delivery phone number, wrong number ~

Xia Mei: It's all you, old baby. Why did you make my little light light blue extinct? If something happens to my little light light blue, I will never forgive you! Hum, run

Grandpa: Xia Mei won't forgive you if anything happens to Master Lan Ling.

Brother Bear: Oh, I really won't forgive me. Then I paused and said to my grandfather, Dad, it seems that you suggested it. How can you blame me?

Grandpa: I'm fine if you persuade the Lanling Heroes to die ~

Grandpa: "I asked you to discuss the results yesterday, and the results ... still have no results ... I'm going to find the leader ... I'm ... I want to live ..."

I said that this weapon is called amnesia when I mentioned Lanling chop in "Heroes Lanling".

Moxibustion and dance supplies:

In the summer, Yu Xia was discussing the name of the leader:

Summer: Since he is a brother of moxibustion. ...

Yu Xia: It's all the same, a weird family.

Xia: Jiu Lai's brother, Gu Lai's cousin ... Should his name be Pale?

Yu Xia: Come on.

(In their fencing ...)

Leader: It's just a nickname. Call it whatever you want. They were both called. The others asked everyone to come.

Leader: My full name is Moxibustion and Moxibustion Dance. In front of muggles. You can call me moxibustion dance.

Yu Xia: How dare you say that? That's rude.

Summer: Yes. If you say so, will people think that 92 and 98 have not come together?

three

(D.C.W is discussing leaders who have never been masked)

Leader: OK. You all saw my true colors. Rest assured. I won't kill people like you said. I ride a motorcycle, but my people don't. But ... D.C.W wants to hurt her eyes today. ...

(Everyone is surprised)

Leader: Just kidding. ...

four

Xia Liu: Boss, I don't know if I'm full. ...

Leader: Senior Xia Liu, it seems that I haven't had enough. You know, young people are developing and will eat more. Brother Xiong, I can have another bowl ... duck feet, crab feet, pig's feet, pickles, sand tea and miso noodles ... it sounds iron and blood.

(5) (in the power conversion office)

Summer: It's time for leaders to change shifts. Can you hold on?

(talking seriously)

Leader: Half a catty, only half a life left. Just like you, why don't you go after work? I want to wash my hair.

(starts laughing)

My family recently opened a great beauty salon, where all the girls are super sexy.

Summer: (dumbfounded) When do you want to pick up girls again?

This is a little nurse whistling for an injection in summer.

The leader smiled and said, I'm joking with you. I only have half a life left, and I said it in Taiwanese. That's not death.

It's called taking pains. Do you understand ~ ~ I was stabbed by a nurse in the summer and cried, I don't understand. You will tell me when you have time.

Leader: I knew you didn't understand.

(6) Leadership: When you abolished power, your father's position was. ..

Dead man: ... Why do you ask this question suddenly?

Leader: No, as the saying goes, a real gentleman looks at chess without saying anything, and there is no real husband.

Dead man: Wow ... what a profound sentence ... it's just that leaders ... have a little restriction ... I don't know what leadership means. ..

Leader: No, I just happened to think of this idiom. ..

(7) The scene at the entrance of Xiajiamen

The leader pointed to the old owner with a black wind.

Old Chief: Five Phoenix? Moxibustion dance, you are fast.

Why is there a black wind?

Leader: It seems that your fear of black wind is still the same as before.

Old Chief: How can the long-lost black wind be in your hands?