I read a lot of good answers, but unfortunately they didn't get to the point. The focus is on the words "completely give up".

Different from the difficulty of breaking up in general, a "give up completely" breakup often indicates that boys are heartless, decisive and no longer expect you.

So, what are the characteristics of a complete breakup?

a. boys are extremely rational and decisive when they break up. There is no reluctance and dependence.

B. There were many quarrels before breaking up, and the other party was scarred and no longer had the enthusiastic expectation before.

C. Boys usually ask to completely delete the contact information of Lahei.

I don't want to be pestered, harassed or heard from you.

D. The fact of breaking up has been made public. The other party is determined and ready to never look back.

In fact, these four characteristics also correspond to each other's mentality, reasons for breaking up, indifferent attitude and cruel degree.

all kinds of signs indicate that there is no possibility of getting back together.

But since Ah Guai wrote this post, it shows that it is still possible to break up completely.

And breaking up completely and mastering the right way to deal with it will get back together faster.

(The following content is of high quality and too long, so please collect it quickly to prevent it from being lost. )

First of all, breaking up completely is also called "no demand breaking up".

Generally, boys who break up are not too emotional.

Because his heart doesn't have much demand and dependence on you and your feelings for the time being.

Therefore, the calmer the other person is, the more you should master the rational way to save the other person. Any time you hit each other's rationality with a grumpy mood, the feedback you get is only indifference, because what they need now is not your care and expression of love.

What they need more at this moment is a personal space and time to deal with the chicken feathers and troubles left behind before.

This leads to the first step of redemption: turning anxiety into motivation

When the other person doesn't need you, it is already something you can do for the time being. Moreover, during this period, you should correct your previous wrong thinking and ways in time to ensure the smooth recovery of the next step.

After a busy day, you can think deeply about a question: Why does the other person want to leave you?

actually, the answer should not be difficult.

It's just that you have been reluctant to admit that you chose to escape. That is, the other party has been unable to raise interest and motivation for you at this time. Because you are full of anxiety and negative energy before and after the breakup. It affects the normal getting along and communication with him.

However, love is supposed to make people feel relaxed and happy.

Two people who once loved each other so much have come to the end of their lives today. The contradiction is inevitably caused by your speculation, temptation and uneasiness. With these feelings of insecurity and temptation, the more times, the greater the anxiety pressure on the other side.

This shows that the other party is so heartless after breaking up:

That's because the gap between you now and the original attractive girl who loves to laugh all day is too big. He doesn't feel the empathy and tolerance that a girlfriend should have in you at all. (Lost the feeling of being in love)

So, when you realize your mistake and make up your mind to change it.

then you must adjust your mentality first. Follow the following suggestions:

1. You must accept the fact of breaking up and abandon the habits and requirements when you are in love.

2. After breaking up, the other party has no responsibility to take care of your feelings, and you can't force the other party to pay.

3. The biggest enemy of emotional breakdown is often not the other party or the third party, but from one's own uneasiness.

4. Learn to look at the problem from another angle. Would you not choose to break up if you were in the other person's position?

5. talk less and do more! Most men value substantial efforts. Pale verbal promises make it difficult to gain trust after breaking up.

If your emotions have been effectively controlled after the breakup. No more reckless release of anxiety and negative emotions. At this time, you have basically succeeded 5%.

Because most breakups are destroyed by painful negative emotions. However, the combination of every relationship is indispensable for positive emotions as the foundation stone to get twice the result with half the effort!

I want to answer a question that most people are troubled by:

What should a man do if he meets a new lover after breaking up?

1.

Actually, as I said before, most men leave you not because they don't love or change their minds.

It's that they desperately need to get out of this already shaky relationship. Because he felt too much negative emotions and anxiety.

The vicious circle diagram of the breakup process

So two conclusions are drawn:

Breakup demand = personal space+adjustment state

Breakup demand ≠ new love+third party

At the same time, new love brings only freshness, but it is still impossible to heal their real inner wounds.

You have to tie the bell to solve the problem. You still have a good chance of getting back together after breaking up.

2.

Suppose this man has an ambiguous object immediately after breaking up seamlessly. Then you don't really need to save each other at all. You can't succeed either.

The reason is that the motivation of the other person's feelings is freshness and sexual attraction, and what you need is a sense of security and long-term development of love.

no common goal, no common goal. He can't give you the love you need, and you can't keep supplying him with freshness.

Secondly, the seamless connection after breaking up shows that he has never respected your identity and feelings from beginning to end. Then you're trying to save yourself. .

I don't usually persuade people to let go, but I'd better accept the fact of breaking up as soon as possible in the case of cheating.

After all, there are only zero and countless infidelities.

2. Release the signal and reduce the dimension

How should I make boys notice my existence after breaking up?

one of the problems that many people struggle with.

at this time, due to the influence of anxiety, you will take the carpet bombing of telephone bombing and text message harassment to attract the attention of boys.

but you must understand that this kind of attention is not attracted by the other party. What's more, it caused this man to reject you from the bottom of his heart, thinking that you still don't understand that what he needs is time and space. Over time, the contact information will be blacked out, which will increase the difficulty of recovery.

1. communicate a contradictory problem deeply by SMS or telephone, but it is not complaining or admitting mistakes.

2. convey the idea that you have slowly let go to ease the relationship.

3. indicate your next plan and direction, and show the image of extremely low demand to arouse the curiosity of the other party.

4. Be concise in tone and language, and don't ask or question too much.

5. At the end, I wish the other person to start a new life as soon as possible. Although you still care about him, you can keep a good distance now.

(remember! It is better to say that care is better than love. Because the meaning of caring is more vague, the feeling that gives people will not be limited and entangled by you. )

"Why can the other party let me go so easily? Is it because I am not good enough? "

A man's desire to win and lose and his curiosity will prompt him to check your circle of friends and pretend to observe your behavior and life casually.

first, ask a few common questions.

why didn't the other party contact me after breaking up?

and you will never ask me out on your own initiative?

the reason is simple, that is, there is no clear relationship between you. So you can't take action or start a conversation, and the other person doesn't know whether he is facing you as a friend or a former lover.

so how can we break the deadlock without embarrassing the two?

If you want to make two people not embarrassed, you must reduce the relationship and reduce the resistance and sensitivity of boys to you.

You can say this to the other person:

Actually, I have carefully thought about our relationship.

I find it unrealistic to be lovers, and you and I can't accept each other for the time being.

fortunately, I have put it down now, if you can put it down.

I think we can have some communication and contact.

but just be friends with a distance. I respect your choice this time.

In fact, the inner rejection and fear of boys after breaking up mainly comes from the uncertainty of your relationship. They don't want to accept your request after breaking up, and resist the effort when they continue to fall in love. The relationship of dimensionality reduction is the best means to make him accept you.

if you have successfully completed the above two steps, then you are not far from saving the final result of success.

Here, I have to ask an extended question:

What do men need after breaking up?

because this will determine the direction of your recovery.

actually, this also involves a "negative impression" that we mentioned before.

As the feelings get behind, quarrels and contradictions continue to occur. To a great extent, it has weakened your bright spot and once attractive, which is also a big reason for your breakup. The other person can't be attracted to you and have love as before, which leads to your negative impression deepening.

So, after breaking up, you also need to rely on freshness and attraction to enhance your value and show yourself.

that is what we usually call "secondary attraction".

I think a person can be attracted twice, just as when something we once cherished is no longer valued, we will temporarily forget it in the corner. But suddenly one day we can see more advantages and characteristics from this thing. Instead, we will cherish it doubly, because we don't have it anymore, just like when the other person no longer has you.

So, there are several suggestions to enhance attractiveness:

1. The key to attracting a person is to develop strengths and avoid weaknesses, and give full play to previous advantages. Fill in your shortcomings.

For example, the other person thinks you look better in a certain type of clothes, and you can bring this style into full play.

But the other person thought you were not considerate enough to understand life before, so you should learn to cook good food to set off your change.

2. Attraction lies in "uniqueness". Don't forget to give full play to your own characteristics that others don't.

draw or write, exercise or run. These are all unique.

The other person is keen on video games, and you can choose to try it. The other person likes reading. You can try to read a book.

the purpose is not only to attract, but also to understand each other's needs in a deeper way. It is convenient to produce more * * * topics in the later period.

4. A person's external attraction is often intuitive and visible, so you can try to send your own fitness photos or selfie photos to your circle of friends.

channels to show your attraction:

1. Get to know your friends, and let them know your change through your circle of friends or messaging.

it seems deliberate to speak directly, and the words of the third party are more authoritative at this time.

2. Show yourself through a circle of friends, such as Weibo or space, but don't be too frequent. Because people who really let go will not invest too much energy and time in the circle of friends.

3. Use daily encounters to show your external changes, and remember not to show too much emotion in your eyes when you meet. The other party didn't take the initiative to say hello. Just do your own thing.

next, make a small summary.

It means that you have at least had a "qualitative leap" now. Of course, the premise is that you are really determined to do it and the other party's feedback is positive.

then, you can carry out the last step to achieve reunification.

at the beginning of the reunion, we must pave the way for foreplay.

For example, if your topic of reunion is a question, you may be able to set it as a question within the other party's field. Then post it in the circle of friends in advance to create a feeling that you need very much.

this way, the other party will not think that your sudden contact has too strong purpose.

After the topic is opened, try to avoid previous painful memories or emotional topics. Because the other party is suspicious of you at the beginning of contact, it is often surprising to mention feelings at this time.

A transitional topic can be adopted in the middle:

After the question is asked, you can express your gratitude or appreciation to satisfy the other person's sense of accomplishment. Then, you can choose your latest photo or a * * * topic to cut into the recent situation. Try to show your positive emotions and looks. Don't have negative emotions or complain too much. (If you don't know the details, you can like me and talk to me privately)

Use some light topics to ease the atmosphere.

when the chat reaches its climax or the feedback from the other party is good.

you can end the topic, because don't overdraw too much novelty at the beginning. Don't collapse the hard-won image of low demand.

If the other person responds well, you can leave a long-term topic at the end: I had a good chat today, and I got a lot of inspiration after listening to your suggestion. I'll tell you the good news next time.

the above are the topics and matters needing attention for the first reunion, and I'm afraid you'll forget to write down all the main points below (dry goods are full, please like the collection of thiamine! )

1. the first topic is set to the other party's field, or the topic he can relate to. It has certain extensibility.

2. It is better to set the transition topic simply, and try to bring the current situation of both sides with photos or the same topic of two people.

3. Set a relaxing topic in the middle to reduce the chat range.

4. Express your appreciation at the end and leave a long-term topic.

If you have kept the above four points in mind and put them into action, it is not impossible to save a person who is completely dead.

the real difficulty often lies in your fears and assumptions. I am afraid of being rejected by the other party, but I keep trying.

it's better to take the first step, after all, only after doing it will there be results. If you don't do all that, fantasy is zero.

always