A collection of one-sentence jokes
A collection of one-sentence jokes that will make you laugh to death: Once upon a time, there were two people. One said I love you, and the other said I don’t love you. Later I didn’t. I love you so much! Who is left in the end? More jokes are in the joke column, welcome to enjoy!
A collection of one-line jokes that will make people laugh to death 1
1. I am a When I see a woman wearing a cheongsam, I feel a desire to order food.
2. Taiwan is known as the island of satiety, and Taiwanese food is an integral part of our country. As the saying goes, homesickness/is a delicious snack/the bowl is over here/the shop is over there
3. Once upon a time, there were two people. One told me to love you, and the other told me not to love you. Later, I didn’t. I love you so much! Who will be left in the end?
4. If you endure hardship, you will drive a Land Rover in the future; if you are young and don’t work hard, you will drive a Xiali in the future.
5. It is said that the sun, moon, and stars are the eyes of heaven and night, so why is there only one sun during the day but so many stars at night?
A god said: Because God is watching what people do.
Oh my god, everyone is watching.
6. “What’s the phone number of 120?”
“Are you stupid? What’s the phone number of 120? You don’t know how to call 114 to ask?” A collection of cold jokes in one sentence Dead Man 2
1. A friend of mine is seriously ill, and the specific symptoms are very heavy (weight).
2. You can run fast when you wear running shoes. The shoe seller can't catch up with me!
3. The funny signature of the big man who picks his feet: as quiet as paralysis, as moving as epilepsy.
4. I always hear ads saying: What should I do if I get pregnant unexpectedly? But I always don’t understand how pregnancy can be an accident? I’m asking for advice from an expert.
5. China Mobile issued a T-shirt to every female college student who started school this year, with four big characters "M-Zone" printed on the chest. China Unicom did not show weakness after seeing this, and gave each of them a pair of shorts. , "Ruyi Tong" is written on the back of the butt.
6. The most taboo thing in interpersonal relationships is to fly pigeons, but it doesn’t matter if you fly once or twice, the world needs peace!! A collection of cold jokes in one sentence that will make people laugh to death 3
< p> 1. No matter how happy a bachelor is, he will get married sooner or later. Isn’t happiness permanent?2. The bedding said: Hurry up, all the flowers I have been waiting for have withered.
3. If you take the initiative for a long time, you will be tired, and if you care for a long time, you will collapse.
4. My industry is too tiring. Is it difficult to change a line? It’s not difficult. Just open Word, hit Enter, and the line will be changed.
5. Ultraman raised his hand when the teacher was giving a lecture. The teacher is dead
6. Be a groom every day, sleep in a new house every night, and be the mother-in-law all over the world
7. Why are they called illegitimate children: Nonsense, can a male give birth?
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8. If you can do something, try not to make any noise.
9. Before comrades work hard, the revolution must still succeed.
10. If young people don’t work hard, Foxconn will be the boss.
11. If your car is not anti-theft, you are just kidding with your money. A collection of one-sentence jokes that will make people laugh to death 4
1. I was in a daze at home that day, and suddenly a little bird flew up and hit the window. I thought: God is playing "Angry Birds" , but, it doesn’t matter...God thinks I’m a pig?
2. Who has another house: In the cold winter, a man stood at the entrance of the corridor, wearing big pants and slippers, looking at the snow on the ground, surprised He shouted: "Halo, when did winter start?"
3. Fang Zhouzi questioned Han Han's article, has he considered Ma Yili's feelings?
4. The meaning of Liushenwuzhu is :Whose toilet water belongs to...
5. Everyone around me said that I was too lazy. I couldn't stand it anymore and decided to commit suicide. So I hired a hitman.
6. Foodies are like trains! Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat!!
7. Guo Jingming appeared on the cover of a fashion magazine, panting. Said: "I hope fashion magazines will not be so thick in the future."
8. The day before graduation, Diaosi decided to declare war on her love rival. He plucked up the courage and sent a text message to the goddess's tall, handsome and rich boyfriend in a different place: At least geographically, your girlfriend and I are closer.
9. The Hollywood animated comedy blockbuster "Happy Feet 2" is about to be released in China. In order to highlight the theme of the film, three new characters have been added around the protagonist. These cute little penguins are named: Wang Changgui , Dana Wang and Big Head Liu.
10. On July 5, 1687 AD, Newton published "Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy" and proposed the law of universal gravitation, that is, "objects with greater mass also have greater attraction." This law was later overturned by Fat Man.
11. I went to a second-hand market to buy a bicycle, but the boss said it was out of stock. He took me to a bicycle park at the entrance of a supermarket and said: Which one do you like? I will unlock it for you.
12. “Why do Japanese cartoons always have children saving the world?
"Because their adults are busy filming other movies." "A collection of one-sentence jokes that will make people laugh to death 5
1. Once upon a time, a young man picked up a big snail and took it home. When he went out the next day, he said to himself that he really wanted to eat fried rice with eggs. In the evening When he came back, there was fried rice with eggs on the table;
The next day he said to himself that he really wanted to eat shredded pork with green pepper, and when he came back in the evening, there was shredded pork with green pepper on the table;
On the third day, he said to himself that he wanted to eat spicy fried snails. When he came back in the evening, there was a plate of spicy fried snails on the table;
On the fourth day, he said he wanted to eat steamed rice noodles. When he came back in the evening, he found that Nothing.
2. A man has been walking up and down the corridor of the obstetrics and gynecology department for two hours. Finally, a nurse walked up to him with a smile.
"Sir, a girl was born!"
"Great!!"
"Do you like girls?"
"Yes! Like this, She won’t have to wait and suffer like I just did!"
3. A: Take care of yourself.
B: I don’t dare to weigh any more. I’m already 180 pounds. .
4. Jiang Wen: The weather is so nice today. Jiang is so hot. I am so happy.
Chen Kaige: You are so boring. Look how beautiful you are now. It’s old wine and vinegar, but the dust hasn’t settled yet!
Feng Xiaogang: It’s settled, it’s all Feng Chang’s show when making a short film, why bother arguing!
5. A family of three arrived. At the restaurant, the adults ordered some dishes cooked with wild animals and plants.
The child asked in confusion: "Mom, why did you order so many wild animals?"
The mother said: "Wild ones." Okay!"
The child asked again: "Then am I wild?" A collection of one-line jokes that will make people laugh to death 6
1. The ship is sinking, and the lifeboat is out of oars. Oil, the motor is also broken.
The Nokia user used his mobile phone to open the motor cover and start repairing it.
The iPhone user took a photo of himself and the motor and posted it on Weibo.
The Android user shut down the phone after writing the suicide note.
The copycat user took out the phone battery and placed it on the motor, and the lifeboat drove away.
2. To lay a lifeboat. Railway, a survey engineer walked into a farmhouse and said to the peasant woman: "Our railway will pass right through your house. I am very sorry." "
The peasant woman replied: "That's okay, but don't think that every time the train passes here, I will open the door for you!"
3. The giraffe has an internal cavity on its head. What are the two little pulls for? Some people actually say they are deer guides, and the zoo’s wifi relies on them...
4. Customer: "You have this sticker on the wall: The customer is God, your service attitude is so bad, do you treat God like this?!"
Waiter: "I have never believed in God. "
5. Bookstore owner: "This book is very cheap. It's so interesting that I'll die laughing. "
Woman: "Take a copy and go back and show it to my mother-in-law. "
6. A lady chose a hat in a hat shop. The salesperson said enthusiastically: "You have good eyesight. Wearing this will make you ten years younger!"
After hearing this, the lady took off her hat and said, "No, I don't want to wear a hat that will make me ten years older if I take it off!"
7. The father's influence in his daughter's mind The status in society is irreplaceable, and my daughter respects me very much.
Every time before she goes out, she comes to ask for my opinion after dressing up: "Dad, what do you think of me wearing this outfit?"
I said: "Well, not bad. "She immediately changed her outfit.
When I said she couldn't go out dressed like this, she ran out to play. A collection of one-sentence jokes that will make people laugh to death 7
1 , not long after the freshman year started, my roommate MM was chatting with her grandfather at home, MM said: "There are six of us in a dormitory. "
Grandpa: "Well, how many boys and how many girls?"
MM: "..."
2. A: "Today, two cars collided on the road, and the two drivers were arguing. I passed by singing a song, but I was scolded by them. "
B: "You get scolded for singing? What song did you sing?"
A: "I sang "Meeting is a Song". "
3. A notice in a detention center reads like this: Hit one police car with a stone and you will win a seven-day all-inclusive value-for-money trip to the detention center; hit two and you will get a beautiful bracelet, a fashionable prison uniform suit, and a police car. Pick-up and drop-off; the more you smash, the more surprises you will get, the first ten people can enjoy free haircuts; the first 100 people can also play with the police dogs, and all guests will receive stick massage and electric shock peeling beauty and health care services.
4 , There was a patriotic poet named Lu You in the Southern Song Dynasty. At that time, when the Jin soldiers invaded, the mountains and rivers were broken, and the people were in dire straits. Lu You was so angry that we couldn't access the Internet...
5. I have a friend from Hainan who loves his hometown very much.
Once I criticized him for bragging. He was very angry and asked me to explain why he was bragging.
I said you should think about it carefully and praise yourself every time you meet.
6. In the morning, a certain woman was anxious to get up and go to a meeting. But my husband insisted on being intimate... and ended up being late.
In the conference room, the leader was very angry and asked: "What happened?"
The lady's face turned red: "The same postures!" ;