First of all, I am 10 years older than you. I am in 1993.
What is the reason for your confusion? I'm telling you, the reason is very important.
I was confused when I was your age, because I made it clear to you. Your old life was busy at school. Get up to eat, go to school, and do homework after school. After dinner, you go back to sleep and get up for school. Over and over again, you will be so busy that you forget how to control yourself correctly. Now you are studying in a technical secondary school. I don't know if it's a technical school or something, but I'm definitely not as busy as before. Sudden leisure and gossip of people around you. It will affect your heart.
You think you have accomplished nothing but playing. Can't find the meaning of life. These ideas you have now are all imposed on you by outsiders. I told you you weren't, but they just said you were.
Do you or your family often hear the words "Look at this child, he stopped learning in junior high school, what will happen in the future?" "Look at how old you are. You only know how to play computer and don't study hard." These words give you a subconscious. After dropping out of school, life is basically useless. Maybe you don't think so now, but your subconscious mind has been instilled with this idea, so now you will feel something similar to fear, which is what you call "boredom" because you doubt the truth of this sentence.
You used to go to school as normal as other people of your age. So you won't be confused if you don't hear such accusations, because you are like everyone else, so you can't hear these words. Now that you are suddenly free, you are different from others. After hearing these words, you will start to question yourself, "Is it really my fault? Are they telling the truth? Am I really nothing? " This is why you are confused now.
The next step is the point.
I explained to you why you were confused, and then I asked you about what you called "regaining confidence"
You know an old saying in China called "Different people have different lives". You, an ordinary family who has accomplished nothing, must compare assets with Ma Yun, value with stars and physique with athletes. This is not progress, it is overreaching. People your age always think that I am richer than Ma Yun, I run faster than Liu Xiang, and I am more famous than Jackie Chan. All this is a dream. Thinking is not a dream, but a dream, which is transformed into dreams and fantasies. It is right to have great dreams, and it is also right to have beautiful ideals, but those who aim at dreams are generally teenagers with little social experience.
Don't compare with others. Nowadays, parents have the same common fault, thinking that their ambition is the reason to put reasonable pressure on their children. I think my children must do what other children do. This has affected you. It is your fault that you can't do what others do. You think others will be wrong, and you will not be incompetent. Do you want to go to college when others go to college? Others have been admitted to the university, and you are unemployed at home, so you are practical?
What should you do now? What you lack is not a degree, just like others. What you lack is imagination. Look at other people, not necessarily those around you. Look at the famous anchor now. Which is a junior college diploma? Most of them are diplomas below high school. Of course, I didn't mean for you to be the anchor.
What should you do? The first is talent, and the second is interest. If you are not suitable for studying, don't try to get an academic degree. If you are tired, there will be no good result. I remember a great man said this sentence, which translated to the effect that "God may not give you a gift you like".
Think about yourself. Do you like your gift? If you have the talent to do one thing, you will have less energy and time than others, and you will do it better than others. This will make it easier to succeed, gain recognition from others and gain self-confidence. It doesn't matter if you don't. Maybe you just didn't find it.
Then look at the second interest. What do you like to do, such as playing games. This is also an interest. You can play any game in front of the computer without being disturbed for a day. This is interest. Doing what you like is not necessarily better than others, but at least you will stick to it and be willing to make yourself work harder than others before you can succeed. Even if you don't succeed, as long as you try your best to show others that you will get their approval, you will gain confidence.
Now everything can be specialized and industrialized. Professional players in the game are now treated as athletes. What are you afraid of? Look at what your talent and interest are, and develop this talent or interest in a professional direction. Since you are interested, you will naturally stick to it. Since we can persist, there will be results. Even if it is a failure, it is also a failure on the basis of doing what you like? If you don't like reading, don't force yourself to read, and you can't stick to it. Why pursue the results you don't like?
I typed so many words unconsciously ... Anyway, I answered all your questions. Ask me if you have any questions or questions. I'll answer you when I see it.