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How terrible is naked marriage? Maybe only those who have experienced it know.

A 34-year-old female reader told me about her sad marriage.

Her name is Xiaoen. As the name implies, she is a grateful, warm and virtuous girl. But in the event of marriage, it fell to pieces.

Six years ago, Xiao En fell in love with Xiao Kai, a seemingly honest and honest boy, under the pressure of urging marriage.

Although Xiao Kai had nothing and his job was unstable, Xiao En was moved by his meticulous care.

After all, in the past 30 years, she has never been in love and never felt warmth and tenderness from the opposite sex.

After more than half a year, they decided to get married. Xiaoen negotiated with the man, and each person paid half the money to mortgage a house. Xiaokai jumped with anxiety because he didn't have a penny in savings and his parents wouldn't help him at all.

He used the usual words of men: honey, let's save enough money to buy a house after we get married. I'll try my best and buy you a full amount, okay?

Simple Xiao En, remembering that his beloved is about to put on a wedding veil for himself, sensibility has already killed rationality and nodded and agreed.

She never knew that there was such a thing as a "blank check" in this world; More did not think of "a man's mouth, a deceitful ghost" this sentence "wisdom".

In this way, Xiao En was confused and bumped into a naked marriage in the name of "love".

There was no bride price, no RV, no decent wedding reception, only Xiaokai bought a ring of more than 2,000 yuan, and her mother-in-law gave her a necklace called "heirloom".

It's really "naked" enough.

To Xiao En's horror, on the wedding day, the entrance of the hotel was stopped by a dozen gangsters. When I asked, I turned out to be the one who came to ask for debts.

It turned out that Xiao Kai had been keeping secrets from her. Her parents wanted to make quick money and owed hundreds of thousands of usurers. These people took advantage of wedding date to collect debts.

Xiao En had a sudden quiver in his heart. She suddenly realized that the situation of her husband's family is more complicated, and this marriage is not too hasty …

But it's no use crying over spilt milk. What's done is done, so we have to bite the bullet and gamble. She still held Kai's hand and made a promise of marriage.

I don't know if my husband's family is looking at Xiaoen's kindness or bullying Xiaoen's parents' honesty. On the second day of marriage, when she counted the gifts, her mother-in-law directly took the gift money from her relatives and friends for herself without consultation.

After that, my mother-in-law said, as you can see, our family still owes a lot of foreign debts, so I'll take the money first, and then we'll be a family. You should honor us with my son …

This, I heard Xiao En sulking. I didn't expect her mother-in-law who was so warm to her before marriage, but it was all a calculation of "hiding the knife in the smile"!

She had to make up a lie to her parents, saying that the gift money was temporarily lent to her husband for stock trading.

When her husband's family saw that she was so reasonable, their faces were filled with joy.

Who knows, Xiao En's heart, like a knife, was stabbed with a scar that caressed her.

02

For women, the most terrible thing is,

I thought I was married to love, but I ended up throwing myself into a fire pit.

What about trying to make money? What about buying a house in full? What about the family after the agreement?

Here in Xiao En, everything has become a wave of sugar-coated shells. The sweeter the promise, the more bitter the reality.

I don't know how to make progress, but my husband still holds a pitifully low basic salary. Xiao En began to persuade him to change places to see if there would be any new development. He always says yes, but never acts.

As long as she mentioned buying a house, her husband suddenly changed his face. Or yell, "Don't put too much pressure on me. If you push it too hard, people will die.". Either coquetry "wife, don't worry, wait, my business will be won soon."

Not to mention the "exquisite egoism" mother-in-law. When I got married, I was penniless and only gave me a necklace that I had worn for many years. Later, I was actually asked to go back, meaning that I didn't look at Xiao En's necklace, so I'd better "return it to Zhao in one piece"!

There is really no one in this family. Xiao En even suspected that he had a fake marriage. Or it's like being cheated on.

Just as she was about to get out, she found herself pregnant. At that time, she was 32 years old, and the child must be born well.

My husband is very happy, and he is also pouring honey: Dear, believe me, I will make a lot of money in the future and give you and your baby the best life!

Once again, she listened to the man's brave words. I thought, when you are a father, you should be able to make a difference.

My stomach is getting bigger every day. At that time, Xiao En's greatest wish was to give her children a decent home. She asked her husband:

I'm going to buy a house quickly. I calculated that the down payment is about 350,000 yuan. Your family can always pay 50,000 yuan, and I'll find a way to make up the rest myself.

When it reached her mother-in-law, she flew into a rage and rebuffed:

Xiao En, isn't your own salary quite high? You should have saved enough down payment for so many years. We can't afford to buy a house. If we don't want money, it's fatal!

Xiao En's heart is cold and cold. They all want to blame the woman for buying a house, which is really too calculating …

But what can we do? With such a family, no matter how hard it is, she has to hold on for the sake of her children.

In the scorching sun, Xiao En was pregnant and looked around. In the evening, I thought about which relatives and friends to borrow some down payment. She took out 200,000 yuan that she had accumulated for many years, plus 10 to 10,000 yuan raised everywhere, and took a suite in the suburbs.

In the eyes of others, what a good daughter-in-law Xiao Kai has married. However, Xiaokai's family is completely ungrateful.

Incredibly, after Xiaoen gave birth, her mother-in-law actually tortured her in the second month, and the monthly meal was extremely spicy. Her husband also used the excuse that he was busy with work and didn't help with the baby, which made her often tired to collapse. Out of the month, she had to take her children and flee to her parents' house.

In order to raise children and save money for decoration, she took a two-month maternity leave and went to work. The work pressure is getting bigger and bigger, the body has not recovered at all, and her husband is not at all helpful. She suffers from mild postpartum depression.

Xiao En, who was isolated and helpless, changed her temperament, complained all day, and once thought about suicide. Fortunately, the lovely son always gave her hope when she was lost.

Now, the house has been handed over. She lost the interest and enthusiasm for building this small home.

After six years of naked marriage, she completely became the saddest dissatisfied housewife in the world.

Whether to continue to endure or bravely break free, she was lost in thought.

03

A good hand is badly played by marrying the wrong person.

Such a woman is not uncommon in life.

In fact, naked marriage is not undesirable, the key is who you marry naked for.

If you are naked married to a responsible, backbone and self-motivated person, then he will redouble his efforts for you and be grateful to you. It's okay for two people to create a stable life together.

However, if you get married naked with a man who has nothing to say but a blank check, he will feel that the injustice you have suffered and the suffering you have suffered are deserved. He always thinks that this family is supported by you, and he feels safe and has no struggle. There is no doubt that you must have fallen into the abyss of "one step wrong, one step wrong".

Just like Xiao En in the story. I thought that I "married" could get each other's cherish and enterprising, but I was tortured and wronged.

So, girl, love is precious, please be cautious about naked marriage!

I watched a street video and interviewed many unmarried women. The question was "Would you like to get married naked?" Seventy percent of the girls thought it was not advisable to get married naked.

In their view, no matter how deep the love is, marriage still needs a certain material foundation, otherwise, the daily necessities after marriage will be noisy, and sooner or later the feelings will be exhausted.

A man, without dedication and gratitude, only knows how to draw cakes to satisfy his hunger, fantasizes about a beautiful future, but never takes practical actions. What can he do if he loves you again?

I want to say, love is not full of greasy love words, nor is it that you are jealous of me every day, nor is it a casual vow.

All the love that can't fall into the depths of reality can't be called love, and it's not enough to support you to enter the marriage hall, and it's not worth doing it without hesitation or even giving everything!

Talking about money really doesn't hurt feelings

What all don't care about, is the real killer of feelings.

You can choose a person who has nothing, but you should measure this person's comprehensive conditions and basic literacy, and whether he can take care of a family in the future.

You can also ask the other person to have a house, a car and tickets, and at the same time, you should also check whether you match the conditions you put forward and whether you can inject happiness into your family in the future.

Naked or not, that's not the point.

What's important is that in a marriage caused by love, whether it's equal or not, whether it's worth it or not.

There's nothing wrong with being realistic. Love and bread are both indispensable.

You are a layman living in the ordinary world, so why pretend to be an out-of-touch fairy?