The level of a person's emotional intelligence is reflected in all aspects of life. Most people don't like to have too much contact with people with low emotional intelligence. What should I do to avoid becoming a person with low emotional intelligence? Maybe this article can help you.
How to improve EQ 1 1 and manage emotions?
If you don't want to be influenced by emotions, first of all, you should be aware of your emotions. When you have grievances, anger, sadness and other negative emotions, take a deep breath, let your reason return to your brain, and handle things calmly.
2. Increase experience
Experience is the root of insight and the basic factor that determines a person's judgment and handling of a matter. Experience consists of two parts: meeting people and walking. Meet all kinds of people, chat with them, see their views on the world, and try to understand their feelings from the perspective of others. Travel to various places, see the life of local people, see the sky, see the clouds, see the rain, see the flowers, and see what people who lived in each place left behind. Knowing how others live in this world, you can better choose your own way to deal with problems. Then reading is very important. Books are the essence of life. Reading is reading a bunch of people's stories and ideas. Understanding the words in the book makes it easier to understand the meaning and emotions expressed by other people's words in daily life.
3, grasp the scale
Most of the behaviors with low EQ are due to poor "scale": either the temperature is not good or it is too late. Bitterness and humor are two different things; Openness and frankness are two different things; Illiteracy and randomness are two different things; Indifference and honesty are two different things;
4. Learn to encourage
When your boyfriend or husband is in the dark or confused period of life, you must show support for him, which will not only make him more confident, but also make him grateful to you.
Step 5 refuse to be melodramatic
Many people have an obvious melodramatic performance, that is, they can't accept others' direct rejection and just say no to me. I will become angry from embarrassment and find excuses and reasons for others to point out my shortcomings bluntly. First of all, if someone refuses you, it means that he is incompetent or for other reasons. Don't lose your temper just because others don't obey your wishes. This is the princess who is ill. In fact, think about it, many times only close people will directly point out your problems and shortcomings. We should be willing to let others point out our shortcomings, because correcting our shortcomings can make us better.
7. it's no use complaining
What is arranged and what is doomed is just like how to deal with it. Complaining won't do anything, and it will make you very resistant to this matter.
8. Learn to make decisions and keep a proper distance from your friends.
In the long river of years, it is a very important ability to learn to listen to other people's suggestions and make decisions by yourself. I used to be a very indecisive person. I can't make my own decisions. I always want to ask others when I meet big things and small things. This is not good, and I am slowly correcting it.
First, learn to make your own decisions. Everyone has different personalities and different ways of handling things, so the results obtained by consulting others may not be suitable for you. Secondly, there are two things in the world, one is related to me and the other has nothing to do with me. When communicating with friends, we should communicate more things related to ta. This is to keep a proper distance from friends. Not all your friends are interested to know.
9. Know your place in a relationship and do things that suit your identity.
This is particularly important. What does your boyfriend/girlfriend expect of you? What does TA like? From the standpoint of a daughter-in-law, we should also know that it is best for a mother-in-law to stay at a respectful distance from others, which is not suitable for telling the truth. She should behave like a mother and daughter and tell her mother at home. Just like undercover. You must first know who you are and what your duties and tasks are, so that you won't become a fool. Know what you say, do what you do, and stick to your duty.
10, don't dwell on the past.
Always dwelling on the past can easily lead to regret, even anxiety and panic. People with high EQ respect their past, people they loved, mistakes they made, missed opportunities and so on. However, they can deeply realize the importance of living in the present. They sum up their experience through their own experiences (instead of dwelling on the past), and they cherish their present, instead of letting it occupy their future.
How to improve EQ 2 1 and the ability to deal with one's negative emotions?
This is probably the most important point of emotional intelligence management: how to effectively manage our negative emotions so that they will not affect our normal life and judgment. If we want to change our mood about one thing, we must first change the way we perceive it.
2. The ability to face pressure and treat it calmly.
Almost everyone is experiencing the pressure of life. Under pressure, the most important thing is to keep calm. Here are some countermeasures:
A. If you are angry and dissatisfied with someone, take a deep breath and count from 1 to 10, and then say something you regret. In most cases, when you count to 10, you can find a better way to communicate. If you are still angry after counting to 10, let's put this question aside for the time being and discuss it when we calm down.
B. If you feel nervous and anxious, pour some cold water on your face and breathe some fresh air. When we are in a cold environment, the degree of anxiety will decrease. Never drink coffee, they will only make you more nervous.
C. If you feel scared and depressed, try some aerobic exercise. Fast walking, jogging, running, cycling, swimming and boating are all aerobic exercises. ) Give yourself some energy. The way we use our bodies greatly affects our feelings. When you are experiencing the vitality of your body, your self-confidence will naturally increase.
D. If you feel tired, confused, stagnant and uninspired, you might as well go outside and clear your head. Let yourself be wrapped in nature, and your heart will naturally calm down.
3, the ability to read all kinds of hints
People with high emotional intelligence can generally interpret other people's emotions more accurately (from their body language, spoken language and expressions). They also know how to express their ideas effectively in communication. You can improve this ability by:
A. When we see completely incomprehensible expressions on each other, we should think about at least two possible interpretation answers before making any conclusions. For example, your friend didn't call you back. First, he ignores you; Second, he is too busy. When interpreting other people's behavior, we need to personalize it, so as to be more objective. A good way to avoid avoiding others is to open your own views and horizons.
B. ask clearly if necessary. If necessary, ask the other person why he did it. You should ask some open-ended questions, such as, "I'm curious. Can you tell me why ... "Avoid accusations and judgments.
4. Be able to be firm and express difficult emotions when necessary.
In our life, sometimes we have to draw a line between ourselves and others, otherwise others won't know what we care about. This means that we need to practice expressing negative emotions. You need to say "no!" Have no shame. Sometimes, put what we care about more in the first place and strive for your return. In this way, you will suffer less and hurt less. So how to express such emotions is appropriate? You can use XYZ method-when you do Y in the case of X, I feel Z. Here are some examples: "I strongly feel that I have paid so much for the company and deserve more recognition." "I was hurt when you made fun of me at dinner yesterday."
Remember: never use "you" as the beginning of a sentence to express your blame. Like "you should" and "you must". Because it will make the listener feel offended. This will make them even more reluctant to listen to you.
5. The ability to express personal feelings in intimate relationships.
To maintain a close relationship, we need to express tender love words effectively.
Psychologist John gotman thinks that the expression of intimate feelings is very important. This is a positive connection for a closer relationship. Verbally: "How was today?" "Do you feel good?" "I love you", "I admire you", "I like you very much when you say that", "I'm glad to spend this time with you", "It's very kind of you", "I'm really sorry" and so on. Physically: Make positive eye contact, hug, smile and put your arms around each other's shoulders. Behavior: provide food and drink to each other; Carefully prepared gifts; Do me a favor; Listen with empathy. These can bring your feelings closer.
According to John gotman's research, in a good relationship, both sides will make hundreds of such actions in one day. The ever-changing expression of love is like the vitamin of love.