3. I once went to buy lamb kebabs and stretched out four fingers to the boss and said, "Come on, 3 lamb kebabs."
The boss was baffled, "How many?"
I again stretched out 3 fingers and said "4" ......
4. Our general manager surnamed Zhou, once he called, I was driving, a nervous mouth to say." Premier Zhou ......"
5. My last name is Zhu, management unit machine room. Once someone called my cell phone . "Chicken section chief, you in the pig room?" At that time, I scolded that guy one time
13. Yesterday, a colleague asked me. How to write the festival of the festival? I answered. Straw letter head under the addition of a festival of the festival to remove the straw letter head! The whole staff burst out laughing! I have not reacted for a moment!
14. At noon cooking, mom gave me a pot of carrots. "Go on, dice the carrots!"
15.When I was looking for a job that year, the examiner asked me what year I graduated. I was going to say 2000, the result of an excited say . "two thousand years ago ......" more waterfall sweat is, the examiner actually oh a sound, said. "Confucius's students, right."
18. and leaders and other people drinking, raised his glass and said loudly: "Let us die together!" At that time the brain was too hot ......
19.Boss, is there a handkerchief filling card?
22. The manager of the meeting generally said to the smoking. Smoking are strangled!!!!
28. College, heard a girl ordering. Master, fried a plate of hot and sour potato silk, do not put potatoes!
29. Just more than 10 minutes of class, my table raised his hand and said. I want to go to the bathroom.
The English teacher was very upset and said. I'm not sure if you're a grown-up, but I'm not sure if you want to go to the restroom.
30. After an impassioned speech by the chairman of the labor union, the last sentence reached a climax. Comrades, let's do better this year than next! The whole room fell.
Ah Fu in elementary school teaching, looks tall and powerful, just a nervous speech will stutter. Once invigilated, he found a student cheating, he was furious pointing at the cheating students yelled: "You ...... you ...... you ...... you ...... you ...... you ...... you ...... you ...... you... . how dare you cheat, stand up for me!!!" After the words, 9 students stood up
Mother often urged sheep: "You can't swing when you wear a skirt; otherwise, you will be seen by the little boys inside the little panties oh!"
One day, Sheep said happily to her mother, "Today I competed with Xiao Ming in swinging, and I won!"
Mom said angrily, "Didn't I tell you? Don't swing when you're wearing a skirt!"
Sheep said proudly, "But I'm so smart! I took my little panties off inside so he couldn't see my little panties!"
One day on the bus, due to crowding a man and a woman collided.
The fashionable woman turned around and flew her eyes, "What's wrong with you?"
The man felt puzzled back, "Do you have medicine?"
The car snickers!
The woman felt angry and said, "Are you mentally ill?"
The man coldly confronted, "You can cure it?"
The whole bus burst out laughing!
The bus driver stops the bus and lies on the steering wheel laughing!
This is the Pearl River Road to work friends met
The bus is super crowded, there is a woman standing in the doorway,
From the back of the car squeezed over a GG to get off,
and the woman said "let a little bit, out of the car", the woman drop wood has moved.
The GG stepped on her when he squeezed past.
The result was that the woman was so powerful that she kept cursing, "You're crazy! I'm not going to be able to do that! ~~I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm sure I'm going to be able to do it, and I'm going to be able to do it.
GG has been wooden to speak, get out of the car can not bear, turn back to the woman said, "repeaters ah you!"
The whole car laughed out loud!
There were a few funny kids in the back, constantly accompanying the scene,
A said, "You're crazy, you! B said "you repeater ah you" 。。。。。。
The whole car laughed out loud!
Later, a small MM also want to get off the bus, squeeze over and timidly said "I ~ I ~ I want to go down, I'm not a psycho ~!"
The whole bus laughed again!
The woman didn't say anything, but from the side came a sentence "Are you out of battery"
The whole car laughed out loud!
22 Roommate's classic slip of the tongue: I washed my hair while cooking noodles, you see when you come back to my head and noodles are cooked together ......
Sweat ......
23 In the school organization blood donation time, then We were lying side by side on a row of these blood donation chairs, and one of the boys, who was giving blood, started to give blood very well, but when the blood flowed halfway through, it actually started to flow backwards from the blood bag back into the veins, and the doctor started to adjust the angle of the chair for him, and while doing so, he asked him to use his hands to force the blood to flow out.
The doctor adjusted the angle of the recliner and said, "Harder, harder, harder, right out ~~~~" Haha, a group of us laughed on the spot, and the boy looked innocent and depressed
33 A few days ago, I bought my mom an I love China T-shirt. My mom was very happy, so she said excitedly: today we both wear it together out of the wind ~ (please is the wind... embarrassed)
34 A Sunday at the end of the last century, we four dead friends to go to Fragrant Hills, the people that much ah, and finally found a quiet place, I pulled out my stupid camera to do debugging, the dead friends of the A excitedly ran over: "Whose camera is it? I'm not going to be able to get a good look at it, but I'm going to be able to get a good look at it.
I was lost in thought when I heard "~ what camera ah ~" so gray proudly drop loud answer: "is a fool! ......"
Results, 555555 that photo of the three of them are smiling so brightly ah
1, five dollars was kidnapped by the criminal gang, called the hundred-dollar bill: "Hey! Your son is here, don't want us to tear up the ticket with yourself for him!" Hundred-dollar bill thought for a moment and said: "Tear it, tear you even 5 bucks are gone!
2 , a man in the desert is about to starve to death, then he picked up the lamp. Divine lamp: "I can only realize you a wish, quickly said, I rush." People: "I want a wife ......" lamp immediately turned out a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully: "are almost starving to death and still covet beauty! Pathetic!" After saying that, it disappeared. People: "...... cake.
3 , the earthworm family is very boring this day, the little earthworm cut himself into two sections to play badminton went, earthworm mother think this method is good, cut himself into four sections to play mahjong went, earthworm father thought, cut himself into minced meat. Mama earthworm cried, "Why are you so stupid? You'll die if you cut it so minced!" Earthworm father said weakly: "...... suddenly want to play soccer
11 、"I can't see too far," the patient said to the ophthalmologist." Please come with me," the doctor took the patient outside, pointed his finger at the sun in the sky and asked, "What do you see there?"" The sun." The patient replies." Well, how much farther do you want to look!
12 , One day the animals smelled a very bad odor in front of the temple of Guan Gong. Snake said: "I'm so small will not let out such a stinky fart, must be cattle. Cow said: "I'm a grass-eater will not let out such a stinky fart. The pig said, "Whoever farted must have blushed." Suddenly Guan Gong rushed out, the pig knocked away and said: "How many times have I said, I blush is born.
13, there is a man one day encountered God.... God suddenly generous intention to give the man a wish .... God asked ... Do you have any wishes ... The man thought for a moment... I heard that cats have 9 lives... Then please give me nine lives. And God said. Your wish has come true. .... One day, the man was bored ... He wanted to die... He had 9 lives anyway, so he lay down on the railroad tracks. .... And a train went by. .... The man still died ... Why is that? Because the train had 10 cars ...
7. I went to the top of Mount Tai with my friends to watch the sunrise, and one of my friends pointed to the sky and said, "I see it!" "I saw it too!" At this time, someone in the distance with pants out scolded: "see on see chant! What are you yelling about?"
Ghost: God, I want to be as white as an angel next time I'm reincarnated and have a pair of wings, but I still want to suck blood.
God: Then you should be reincarnated as a caregiver.
One day the candidates object, one of the questions is to look at the legs of the bird to guess the name of the bird. A student really do not understand, angry paper a tear ready to leave the examination room. The invigilator was angry and asked him, "What class are you in and what's your name?" A certain student lifted his pants leg and said, "You guess ah you guess ah."
After the beautiful Mongolian actress finished her performance, the leader went up to the stage to receive her, then her hand, asking for warmth, half a day and refused to let go, kindly asked: What is your name? The actress replied excitedly, "Mare Gebi. Song first"
A public toilet, A constipation, pull a long time can not pull out, then another man B rushed in, just squatting on the crackling pulling a good time, A gentleman heard: "Man, really envy you ah, pull so fast," B gentleman said: "What to envy, the pants are not off it ......"
A fashionable woman walked on the bus, see an empty seat will pull out a paper towel rubbing a burst, just to sit coincidentally put a fart, next to a man laughed and said: "I'm KAO, really tm clean, wipe but also blow blow"
A new sculpture in a school - a young girl holding a book in her left hand right hand raised a dove. School leaders to the school students openly call the name. A time to reply to a stream of people, one of the highest voice: reading top a bird!
There is a man and a tiger were tied to two trees, tied to the tiger's rope below a candle , the rope is about to burn off, if the rope is burned off, the tiger will eat the man, the results of the man said a sentence, it was not eaten by the tiger
He said, "happy birthday! " And the tiger blew out the candle....
41. The wolf just fell out of love, foraging for food when passing by a hut, heard a man teaching their children: "cry again, you will throw you out Feed the wolf children in the house crying all night, the wolf guarded outside all night, in the morning, the wolf choked up and said: men, men are liars!
On one side ...... On one side ......
Kid: He's taking off his shirt while he's putting on his pants.
Teacher's comment: Is he taking off his clothes or is he putting on his pants?
Teacher's comment: Is he taking off his clothes or is he putting on his pants?
Title: One of them
Kid: One of my left feet is injured.
Teacher's comment: Are you a centipede?
Title: One after another
Kid: After work, dad went home one after another.
Teacher's comment: How many dads do you have?
Title: Sadness
Kids: It's sad that there is a ditch in front of my house.
Teacher's comment: The teacher is even more sad
Title: And And
Kids: My mom is short, tall, fat and thin.
Teacher's comment: Is your mom a deformed gold steel?
Title: You see
Kid: What are you looking at! I've never seen it before.
Teacher's comment: Don't be too arrogant
Title: Glory to Glory
The child wrote: Glory to Glory Glory Confession.
Teacher's comment: Don't watch too many serials!
Title: Yummy
The kid wrote: Yummy my ass.
Teacher:.........
Title: Innocence
The kid wrote: It's hot today.
Teacher's comments: You are so naive
Title: Fruit
The child said: Yesterday I ate fruit and then drank cold water
The child said: Yesterday I ate fruit and then drank cold water. Then I drank cold water
Teacher's comment: It's a phrase, you can't separate it
Title: First ...... then ...... Example :Eat first, then take a bath.
Kid:Sir,bye!
Teacher's comment:.................
Title: Besides
Kids: A train passed by, besides, besides, besides, besides
Teacher's comments: I'm dead
Husband watching TV on the sofa, wife wrapped in a towel sitting on her husband's lap, style said: "Master, you have to take the little girl right?" Husband willfully sit on the wrong: "Do not do not want, big master I have no money on me today!" Wife: "What money is not money, as long as you let the little girl cool on the line, afterward make up a note!" Hubby fainted, this thing there is an IOU!
Hubby used one hand to lift his wife's chin, teasingly said: "Girl, come on, sing a song for me!" The wife slapped my hand: "Customer, please show some respect, the little girl I only sell my body, not sell art!" Hubby was shocked, this is bumping into a gun!
Husband bath lying on the bed reading a book, wife from the bathroom out of a hungry tiger pounced on me under the body, the face of the grimace, said: "Hey, little brother looks good, the little girl today I want to taste fresh!" Hubby swore to resist. My wife saw that my husband would not obey, and turned to tenderness and said, "Master, you'll obey the little woman, right?" Hubby said, "Give me a reason first!" Wife thief eyes drip a turn: "The little girl just released from prison, several years have not opened meat!" Hubby said: "My mom, this is a good reason, there is no reason not to follow!
Son wants to sleep with mom every night. The first thing I want to do is to get my hands on a new car, and then I'll be able to get a new car. The first thing I want to do is to get my hands dirty. Mom said: What about your daughter-in-law? The first thing I want to do is to get my hands on a new one, and then I'll go back to my old one. The father said excitedly after hearing: this child has been understanding since he was a child!
White rabbit QB gray wolf fled after the wolf indignation in hot pursuit of the rabbit to the soil wipe body pretending to be gray rabbit, wearing glasses to read the newspaper, the wolf asked: can see a white rabbit? The rabbit: is that a strong * wolf white rabbit? Wolf shy: I KAO, so fast to see the newspaper?
Revision of the marriage law, the typist inadvertently typed monogamy into a day a wife. Deliberations were generally reflected: this change is good, with the times, is afraid that the supply of goods can not be
A shy boy finally summoned the courage to ask his beloved girl: what kind of boy do you like? The girl said: the cast. The boy asked again or the same, he had to say sadly: head a little flat can not be
1. New students are undergoing military training, the instructor set up the task:
"Class 1 kill chickens, the second class to steal eggs, I'm going to make you thin rice!"
"Huh?" The students were puzzled, how did not understand what he was talking about, and then one of the students watched the instructor's movements again to understand that he was saying:
Class 1 shooting,class 2 bomb throwing, I'm going to give you a demonstration!
2. A prisoner escaped from prison and was unfortunately caught after a full night of searching. The warden asks, "Why did you escape from prison?" "Because the food in prison is really bad." "Then what did you use to knock the iron bars off the fence?" "Last night's steamed buns."
3.
A man was about to jump off a building when his wife shouted, "Don't be impulsive dear, we still have a long way to go!"
The man whooshed and jumped after hearing this.
Afterward police told her, "You really shouldn't have threatened him like that!"
4. Happiness is when the cat eats fish, the dog eats meat, and Ultraman fights small monsters.
Breathlessness is when the judge asks: why do you print counterfeit money, and the criminal innocently replies: because I don't know how to print real money.
Despair is the lunch cafeteria ordered two dishes, ate the first I was shocked, "the world there is more difficult to eat than this dish?" I cried when I ate the second one, "There is really something!
5. Teacher: Can you tell the difference between a lyrical novel and a thriller?
Sheng: a girl in a long veil, walking on the shallow sea beach, this is the lyrical novel.
Teacher: What about thrillers?
Student: As soon as the sea rises a few feet higher, it becomes a thriller.
6. Just now watching the news, there is a report that, one night, the moat side of a woman wanted to kill herself, onlookers. Suddenly there was a man who jumped into the two-meter-deep river to save her, and the crowd was appreciating the man's righteousness. The man swam to the woman's side in a hurry to see, ah, not my wife ah!
7. Once upon a time there was a bird, he would pass by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield, and all the corn was turned into popcorn!!!! After the little bird flew past ...... thinking it was snowing, he died of cold.
8. Xiao Ming new haircut, the next day came to school, his classmates saw his new hairstyle, laughed: Xiao Ming, your head shape seems like a kite oh! Xiao Ming felt very aggrieved, so he ran outside and cried, crying, he flew.
9. Dujiangyan, there is a person buried in the earthquake for more than 50 hours, was rescued out of the sober, the reporter went to interview, he saw the reporter carrying a laptop, forget the pain and asked the reporter, your laptop can be online? The reporter replied that he could, he said: then you help me put the dishes away.
10. One person went to do the bus in the morning! But the car just happened to drive away!
So he chased after it!
While chasing also shouted: "Master wait for me! Master wait for me! Master ********"
A good thing passengers put their heads out the window!
Loudly shouted: Wukong do not chase!
11. There was a small child sitting in a doorway playing
A middle-aged man asked him: Is your father home?
The child replied: home
The middle-aged man went to ring the doorbell and rang for a long time, but no one opened the door
So the man asked angrily: Why did not you open the door?
The child said: I don't know, this is not my home!
12. A couple was chatting at home.
The husband said: Yesterday I read a news report that a nun was raped while walking in the park!
The wife was surprised to hear it and said, "Who did it, it's so unethical!"
The husband smiled and didn't answer.
The wife said angrily, "How can you laugh at something so unethical?"
The husband said, "Because the news reported again today that hundreds of nuns were walking in the park today."
13.A and B were discussing old classic songs from the past decade,
A asked B: "Have you ever heard 'Alone in Tears Until Dawn'? It was super popular back in the day!"
B: "No, I've never heard of it."
A: "You're so corny~ You haven't even heard of it!"
B: "Then you sing it~"
A: "Listen up~You're always too soft-hearted, too soft-hearted, and you're alone with your tears until dawn~"
B:... ...
14. A pair of nude statues standing face to face in the park has been decades, one day, the god of love, Cupid, fell from the sky, came to the front of both of them, said: "I think the two of you every day to look at but can't do it must be very depressing right, today I will let you turn into human beings, to do what you want to do it! But only for fifteen minutes."
After the words were said, the two statues turned into human beings then the two of them immediately jumped into the grass, and the grass made a sighing sound ......
After ten minutes, the two of them jumped out of the grass. Cupid said, "Ughhhh, there's five minutes left, hurry up and enjoy yourself again."
After that, the two looked at each other, smiled a little, and jumped back into the grass ......
Faintly, the female statue was heard saying to the male statue, "I held this pigeon down, now it's your turn to shit on his head."
15.
Male psychopath: "I have something to tell you."
Female psychopath: "What is it?"
Male psychopath: "(whispering) You must keep it a secret, I am the son of the Bodhisattva."
Female psychopath: "MD, when did I ever give birth to a son like you!
16. One day at noon, a brightly dressed beauty with a bag from the cab down, suddenly the master driver stretched out his head and shouted at her: Miss, you look like a chicken!
The beauty was furious, rushed to the driver cursed: you fucking or duck it!
The driver timidly shrunk back to the head, a smoke away ......
This is the beauty suddenly realized, chased the cab all the way shouting: master, my camera! I camera!
17. centipede was snake bite, sent to the hospital emergency, the doctor diagnosed and said: in order to prevent the spread of venom must be amputated! You'll have to hold on!
The centipede said: I have many legs! I can hold on! The doctor said, "I have a lot of legs, so let's cut them off!
The doctor reassures him: "Good brother, think about it, you'll be an earthworm from now on".
18. Xiaosong asked Ming, "If you fail the exam, how will your parents treat you"? "The first time I saw a woman's singles game was when she was under 80 points. If the score is "70" or less, it is men's singles. Under "60" is mixed doubles!
19.
Don't be angry when your neighbor plays the piano at two o'clock in the night, you can wake him up at four o'clock and tell him you appreciate his playing
20.Fire Department: Where is the fire? Caller: My house. Fire Brigade: I mean where? Caller: In the kitchen. Fire Brigade: I mean how do we get there? Alarmist: Don't you have a fire truck?
21. morning on the bus, a man from the bag out of the cell phone to see the time, and then said "I CAO", thought he was too late, and then look carefully, I Cao his hands holding an air conditioning remote control.
22. One day, the police received a phone call, the other side of the voice is very anxious: "Mr..! Help! Help!"
The operator said, "Miss! Take your time, what's going on?"
The voice screamed, "A cat crawled into our house!"
The operator reassured, "Miss, a cat crawling in isn't a big deal."
"No way! No way! The cat is dangerous! It's dangerous!" The operator patiently persuaded, "The cat really isn't dangerous ...... Miss, who the hell are you?"
The other party replied, "I am a parrot! I am a parrot!"
23. Big Bull: I'm so short.
Lai Fu: Oh? How short?
Da Niu: I was supposed to star as Wu Da Lang in "Water Margin"
Lai Fu: So short?
Daniu: But the director said: you are not tall enough
24. Once, after the class bell rang, a boy stormed into the classroom, rushed to the last row, the teacher issued a message: some students are late, come in from the back door, don't affect others! The boy sat down, took out his bun and took a bite. He realized there was a pretty MM next to him and kept staring at her. He thought to himself that MM hadn't eaten breakfast either, so, attentively gave her the bun. The teacher spoke again, this time ugly face: some students late even if, but also in the classroom to eat breakfast, they eat also forget, do not give the buns to the teacher of the classroom well!
25. Teacher: "Xiaoming, please use the 'Great Wall' sentence"
Xiaoming: "The Great Wall is very long"
Teacher. "This one doesn't work, make another one"
Xiaoming: "Teacher, I'm not the first emperor of Qin Shi Huang. I can't build another one"
26. The other day when I was driving, the speed camera flashed at me, but I was definitely not speeding, so I backed up and passed the camera at a much slower speed, and it flashed again. I was so confused that I tried it again, and it did flash again. I thought it was funny, so I tried it again at turtle speed. Then I got 4 tickets for not wearing a seatbelt.
27. God wants to hear the song, took Chen Lin; God wants to see dancing, took MJ; God wants to see AV, took Iijima Ai; God wants to see CCTV, took Luo Jing; God wants to see comics, took the "little new dad"; God wants to see a movie, took Leslie Cheung; God wants to see science, took Qian Xuesen; God wants to see science. I'm not sure if you're a good person, but I'm a good person, and I'm a good person. The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of a fight with a man who had been in the middle of a fight for a long time. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world, and then you'll be able to get your hands on some of the best ones. Husband surprised: "This is a cat, not a dog. "Wife said:" I'm talking to the cat, what are you interfering?"
29. The prisoner was executed by firing squad, and the first shot did not go off because of the poor quality of the bullets. Then fired the second shot, the third shot ...... This time the prisoner could not stand, crying, "Brother, you strangled me! This is too scary la ......"
34.A teacher in the correction of English composition, suddenly lashed out: "I have never seen such a bad English composition" teacher B saw the situation and asked: "What is it about?" Teacher A: "Write a story about a prince and a princess." "Not bad," said B. "He went so far as to write in the beginning that the prince asked the princess 'can you speak Chinese?' to which the princess replied 'yes', and then the rest of it was all in Chinese!"
35. Electrical supplies organized a joke-telling contest, which stipulated that each appliance should tell a joke and make every audience in the scene laugh, or be taken to Aruba.
First on the scene is the washing machine, he told a joke, the whole audience laughed.
Suddenly you hear the rice cooker say, "It's cold~~~"
So the washing machine is taken to Aruba.
Next up was the smartest computer ever, and all the appliances all laughed when he finished his joke.
The rice cooker is also heard saying, "It's cold~~~"
So! The computer is also taken to Aruba.
The third is the most humorous, Table Lamp. After the lamp tells the joke confidently, everyone rolls on the floor laughing.
The rice cooker said again, "It's cold~~~"
Just as the lamp was about to be taken to Aruba, the rice cooker stood up angrily, turned his head to the refrigerator, which was sitting behind him, and said, "I've had enough of this, just laugh, don't open your mouth so wide, it's cold! "
36. A nice man was passing by a building, and at the head of the stairs he saw a fellow so drunk he was sitting on the steps, seemingly waiting for someone to give him a hand. So he went up to him and asked him, "Do you live here?"
"Yes!" The drunk replied.
"Do you want me to help you get home?"
"Yes!"
So he picks up the guy and drags him to the second floor, then he asks, "Do you live on this floor?"
"Yes!"
Upon hearing him say that, the good Samaritan opened the door beside him and shoved the drunk in, because he didn't want the drunk's family to think he got him drunk. When he got downstairs, to his surprise, he saw another drunk, who looked a lot like the one he had just seen, except that he looked like he was much drunker. So he asked him again if he wanted help getting home, and then dragged him to the second floor, and after asking him if he lived on this floor, he opened the door and shoved him inside.
But, as if the gods were playing a joke on him, when he got downstairs he found another drunk, and even drunker than the previous two. But, being a good Samaritan after all, he carried him up to the second floor as he had done for the first two, and stuffed him inside that door.
But when he got downstairs, he saw another drunk, and he was about to ask what was going on, when the drunk ran to the police officer as if he had seen a ghost, and said, "Police, please take care of it, this guy keeps getting me up to the second floor and then throwing me down the elevator shaft. "
37. There was a champion dog who went around looking for dogs to win fights with, both domestic and foreign, big dogs and small dogs, hence his name Psycho, and hence his arrogance - nothing to do with walking down the road provoking other dogs and barking at them.
One day, the owner of the champion dog was walking along the road with the champion dog and saw an old man with a very, very big dog, and the champion dog was barking at him again.
The owner thought, "If my champion dog beats this big dog, he will be very proud.
So he said to the old man, "Mr. Old Man, my dog is the champion dog, and I want him to try to fight with yours.
The old gentleman: "This ...... is not good."
Master: "It's okay, if it's really going to hurt your big dog, I'll stop it."
Old man: "It's still not good ......"
Before they could discuss it the two animals fought @#$%&!
As a result ...... the champion dog suffered a disastrous defeat, the defeat is extremely lousy ......
The master: "This old gentleman ah, I would like to ask you what kind of dog this is ah? "
The old gentleman: "This well, it is in the hair has not been 38.Four cowboys in the bar while drinking, while talking about what is the fastest thing in the world.
The first cowboy said, "I think that the mind should be the fastest, for example, when you accidentally poke your finger or touch a lit cigarette, your brain can quickly feel the pain and react."
"Maybe you're right, but I think," the second cowboy disagreed, "that blinking is the fastest in the world; think about it, you blink all the time, but you never feel an interruption in the image in front of you."
"Have you thought about light?" A third cowboy asked, "I think it's the fastest, imagine being in a dark room and at the same time as you flick a switch, all around you instantly becomes bright ......"
"No, no, no, you're all Wrong, the fastest thing in the world is diarrhea!" The fourth cowboy offered a very original insight.
"Diarrhea? Why?" The other three cowboys asked together.
"Last night, right here, I had a big meal and a drink, and when I got home I fell into bed and got ready to go to sleep, and all of a sudden I heard a thumping in my stomach, and I didn't have time to think, or blink, or turn on the light!"
Everyone called it 'The Lion' before it was shaved off ......"
A psychopath escaped from the hospital and was given another gun. He nestles the gun in his arms, walks down a very remote alley, catches a passerby, points the gun at him and says, "How many does 1+1=?" The passerby thought for a long time and said warily, "2..."
Before the words were out of his mouth, the psychopath killed the passerby, and as he watched him fall, he said coldly, "You know too much..."
41.I am from Yunnan University, class of 2000, that is, the level of Ma Jiajue. When Xiao Ma had an accident, but had not been caught yet, the wanted notice all said how many thousands of dollars could be rewarded for assisting the public security organs to capture Xiao Ma. Everyone is very red-eyed, very much want to get that large sum of money, go out on the street are very careful to pay attention to the looks of passers-by. One day, go out and sit on the public **** car, there are not many people, only one person standing, suddenly everyone stared at that person, I took a closer look, very much like the wanted notice on the appearance of Brother Xiao Ma, may be everyone can see, are a look of nervousness and excitement. The atmosphere was tense to the extreme, that person was looked at by everyone to panic, angrily shouted: "I'm not Ma Jiajie! Public **** car driver is very responsible, decisive: no one can get off, I drive the car to the police station. Everyone fist pumped and immediately closed all the car windows. The man just had a helpless look on his face. When he arrived at the police station, the driver said to the police in a godly manner: someone in my car looks very much like Ma Jiajue, and I drove the car here immediately. The man aggrievedly said to the police: officer, or me, today I have been arrested to you for the third time.
42.5-year-old daughter asked her dad to do something for her. Dad: "Dad is very tired, please praise me, I'll be energized again if you praise me." Daughter: "Zheng!" Dad: "Hey!" Daughter: "Your family Niu Niu look really beautiful ah
43. I pulled out my pocket time, a key fell, did not find, and then went back to find!
On the side of the road there is a small couple there, the man suddenly excitedly said: is whose?
I was in the middle of a conversation with a man who had a key in his hand.
I thought it was the key and said, "Mine, mine!
Later, I realized that the woman was pregnant 。。。。.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get a good deal on this, but I'm sure I'll be able to. It hurt for a few days
44. A couple picked up a letter in front of their house in the afternoon, which was addressed to them, and opened it to read: "I invite you to watch a movie today to mark the first anniversary of our acquaintance...". There was no signature on the back, so the couple felt strange and went to the movies in the evening with the two movie tickets in the envelope. When they returned home after the movie, they found their valuables ransacked and a letter on the table that read: "You know who invited you to the movie, right?
45. The paper was issued with a cold heart, a nervousness, the words are forgotten, déjà vu, what is the meaning is not known. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm going to be able to do it, and I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it in a few hours.
46. The whole semester all deserted, near the examination all heartbreak, a week of time all did not sleep, before the examination all in the back, into the examination room all collapse, get the paper all tears, back of the things all do not test, test things all will not be T_T
47. Wedding will come, domestic brothers, rich apartment, no money snail, look at the Great Wall inside and outside, the buildings, construction sites up and down, the waves of people, get up early, sleep late, Dandan all-night, the people are not the same. The mother-in-law said: buy a house to reach the standard. Must banknotes, look at the sea of people, a room is difficult to get. Floor prices are so high, attracting countless heroes compete, the former Qin Huang Hanwu, see this head shaking, Tang Zong Songzu, but also no trick, a generation of pride, Genghis Khan, had to live in a yurt!