I graduated from college in 2003.

The most impressive thing that year was SARS.

Our whole-year graduates can't go out to find jobs.

The school let us graduate one month in advance.

I was grounded for a month at home, and my mother still didn't trust me to go out and look for a job.

I went to Shenyang to attend several job fairs, and the job position on the interview resume changed from design to planning, from planning to clerk, and finally to reserve cadres ...

At that time, what I hoped most was that a company could give me a call and tell me to join the company.

But no, none.

In July, 2003, I took the 3,000 yuan saved for drawing cartoons during my college days and went to the south by train.

The biggest reason for leaving home is that every time my relatives and friends visit me, they look at me with pity eyes, and then they say, what's the use of studying now? You see your mother borrowed money for your college education, and in the end, you didn't get an assignment or a job after you finished studying, alas ...

I still remember the meaning after that sigh.

I submitted my resume online, and a school in Fujian asked me to go for an interview. I thought I could do it without thinking, and then I took the money and my work ...

After an interview, I tried to talk and talked about signing a contract. Sign a contract for five years, and you are not allowed to work in a local school after graduation.

I thought it was the overlord clause, so I left handsomely.

After that, I began to run various job fairs, send resumes and answer the phone.

There are many small enterprises in the south, and many cloth companies are also branded as clothing companies. I can't remember the maximum number of interviews I have run in a day, and I can't remember how much I talked to my small bosses about design, feelings and the future.

Just after a conversation, the boss patted the chopping board and said, come on! Show me a version on the spot!

At that time, I felt like a loser.

What I want to do is design, not print!

I stayed in a hotel from a single room to a quadruple room, and my lunch changed from a vegetarian one to a vegetarian one, and finally became the cheapest noodle in Shaxian snack.

I dare not call home, so I hide in the chat bar and call those netizens who have talked with QQ but have never met.

How are things over there? I'm not doing well here. I haven't found a job for almost a month. I'm homesick ...

At that time, I realized that the hardest thing in life was not poverty, but loneliness.

You don't have any relatives in this city. They speak Minnan dialect that you don't understand. What are you here for?

Later, by mistake, I accompanied someone to an interview and was unexpectedly left behind. Although I didn't make the design I wanted, I saw a turn for the better when I was poor enough to have only the money for train tickets.

In October that year, a company in the north called me and said that I had taken my resume at the job fair before, and I was very impressed by my on-site expression. I said that I was interested in recruiting a male designer and asked if I could come for an interview.

I seem to see a glimmer of hope, and I have returned to the north from the south with my dual desire to go home and do design.

After the interview in the branch, I felt that everything was particularly satisfactory, but I didn't want to be sent to the head office to report. I found that it was a particularly broken family business and I felt cheated.

But it's no use crying over spilt milk.

During that time, we had to catch up with the ordering meeting after the Spring Festival, and the design task was particularly heavy. Each of our designers had to design more than 20 works every day, and they had to be hand-painted on quarto paper and matched with the design instructions.

Every night at 9 o'clock, the boss comes to inspect and lines up all the design drafts in the conference room, just like the emperor flipping a brand, clicking on the manuscripts and deciding to make samples at the end.

The more works are selected, the more people are recognized. The fewer works selected, the more people will naturally be hit and left out.

This is the cruelest fight.

I can't go back to my dormitory until after ten o'clock.

The dormitory faces north, and there is no heating. In the north of1February, the water drops into ice.

I covered two quilts and put a military coat on my head, otherwise I would have a headache the next day.

At that time, I felt that the hardest thing was not the cold, but the indomitable heart.

That year, my work was selected in the order manual *** 12 pieces.

I only had three days off during the Spring Festival that year, and my mother and I said that the company was too busy to work without me! (Youth inspirational sun) then left home with firecrackers.

On the way to the public bathhouse, I bought a magazine published in Beijing, and when I saw on the back cover that there was an advertisement for an editor, I moved to Beijing.

After that, I wrote an 8,000-word manuscript with the computer in the design room, and sent it out with my work, using the only machine with internet access of the boss's secretary. Two weeks later, I received a phone call to join the job.

On February 28th, 2004, without any doubt or experience, I went to Beijing with 1500 yuan borrowed from three friends.

Seven days later, the editor-in-chief told me that you don't meet my requirements for the time being. Get ready and I will fire you if I find the right person.

This sentence made me live in fear for the next year and 24 days, lest I be replaced.

I can only try my best to start from scratch, learn planning that I don't understand, learn to meet people and treat things, learn to do layout design, learn to do a lot of work and balance myself, and learn to say to myself: Have you forgotten what you want to do most when you graduate? It is to make money! But to make money, you have to survive in this city first ...

From October to October, 2004, I passed the probation period of four months, paid off the debt of 1500 yuan, spent three months getting to know some friends who painted, and rented a house in the North Fifth Ring Road near those friends, with the rent of 800 yuan.

My salary is 2400 yuan a month. I haven't rented a house. I don't know if I need to pay three and one. Then I have to ask the landlord, can I give you two months first and I'll give you two months next month? The landlord finally agreed.

The rent for two months is 1600 yuan. After removing these, I still have 800 yuan left, which will also bear my meals and travel expenses for one month.

So I decided to start receiving * * * and writing articles. I can write anything, as long as I open the money quickly.

Later, I had the opportunity to go to the TV station to write a program. A topic cost 100 yuan, which was evaluated once a week, and I would give money if it passed. It's a daily program. I can watch eight programs a month at most.

In Beijing in November, I couldn't resist the cold when I put on the two thickest sweaters in my luggage. I went to SOHO Modern City, which felt particularly foreign at that time, to work overtime. In that TV program production center, I learned what is called non-line editing, what is called rhythm and what is called picture sense. After that, I have to leave at 10: 00 in the morning and take the subway all the way to change to the last light rail.

If you can't make it, it will cost 50 yuan to take a taxi home, which means that half of your efforts this evening have been wasted.

In order to save three dollars when I got off the light rail, I trotted all the way to meet the north wind for ten minutes, sat down at the snack bar at the entrance of the community, ordered a plate of fried chips as today's dinner, and before eating, I would take a sip of Erguotou stored here to warm myself up, and then shout at top of my voice like * * *, hi, hi! At that time, the biggest idea was: never get sick, or a cold will definitely delay work.

I never felt hard in the most difficult days of my life. I lay in bed every day and thought a lot about the foreign debt owed by my family, and how far it would be if I could save 1,000 yuan every month ...

Thought of here, will wake up crying from the nightmare ...

I lived a humble life in this city, almost crawling and bleeding all the way, and finally I had the opportunity to stand up reluctantly, and now I am mixed in the crowd like you.

The most difficult time in that life has become a cross-section engraved on the diamond of good times in the future. They bring pain that outsiders can't understand and become the flashy brilliance you see today.

Many things can be compared, and the only thing that can't be compared is experience.

Many things can be surpassed by future generations, and the only thing that cannot be surpassed is the depth of life.

Many sentiments can be shattered in the waste, and the only thing that has never given up is the persistence of dreams.

Now I think that my greatest expectation in this city is to survive first, because only by surviving will you have a chance to prove that sooner or later I will belong here and get everything I should have ...

-I would like to write this story to the most difficult time in my life.