Of course I have experienced being morally kidnapped by my relatives. When I was young, my family always asked me to do things according to their ideas. If I don't follow their ideas, I will be kidnapped by morality, saying that they paid so much to raise me so much in vain. Not only are they disobedient, but they always sing the opposite. Usually, I agree to them on the surface, but in reality, they still do what I say.

1. Relatives often say: Be obedient, otherwise you will be scolded

When I was a child, my mother’s most common mantra was to listen to adults and listen to adults. That's right after all.

If I disobey one day, or show any rebellious behavior, my mother will say how difficult it is to raise me. Wait, wait, wait, wait, a series of such words, come on Restraining me, putting pressure on me to listen to her. What can I do at that time? Just obey.

But now, no matter how morally kidnapping me, it’s just the same thing, it’s just the same rhetoric, as long as I don’t oppose my mother.

2. My family often says: We are all doing this for your own good, so be sensible

I remember when I was choosing a major in college, I had a general direction, but my parents didn’t. They wanted me to choose a major according to their plan, but before I could refuse, they said, we are doing this for your own good, otherwise you will not be able to find a job in the future.

He also advised me earnestly: Don’t be too individualistic. It will be safer to follow the path of the public. If I don't follow their choice, I will be told that if I don't develop well in the future, I can only blame me for not listening to them. At that time, after listening to what they said, I did feel a little panic in my heart.

But after thinking about it later, I decided to choose what I like. I don’t want to be pushed by their ideas all the time without any driving force.

3. My family asked me to go to a relative’s house, which was actually a blind date bureau

I remember one time, my family told me that a relative invited me to their home. Puzzled, I went over with some hesitation. Then when we arrived, we discovered that it was actually a blind date bureau. At that moment, I was very angry and called my family to tell them that I was leaving.

As a result, the family members said: They are all acquaintances, and it would be shameful to leave midway after agreeing to the offer. I had no choice but to bite the bullet and go back, which was really embarrassing.

After it was over, I told my family not to do this again, otherwise I would reject everything if anything happened again. Seeing my tough attitude, they stopped doing it.

Now that I think about it, I have had quite a lot of experiences of being morally kidnapped by my relatives. No matter what happens, we must respect it. We cannot use all kinds of rhetoric to morally kidnap and restrain ourselves, otherwise it will only make the relationship between them worse. If you lose intimacy, you will also lose trust.